[Campaign] Rise of The Scarlet Crusade

[huy60vn]

Thanks for comments
EDIT: Added Poll

 

[MasterTrainer]

Nice Poll; You really added some interesting choices there.

 

[Binsu]

I would vote for the grammar. Mostly in my own perpective, thats the only thing you have to worry about.

 

[MasterTrainer]

I would vote for the grammar. Mostly in my own perpective, thats the only thing you have to worry about.

Supportive as always

 

[huy60vn]

Uhm... Thanks to Rao Dao Zao for his voting. I'm so bad if I won't change now.
At this time, I'll upload some screenshots about cinematics, skip about the terrains.

 

[Daffa]

I only hate grammars mistake, because it's sometime confusing, so I vote for grammar fixing

Wish you the best luck

 

[huy60vn]

There are some tranmissions from units. There must be a mistake in here. Hope you can help fix them.
Don't worry, I'll upload more.

Hidden

Other:

Hidden

 

[Daffa]

The first photo :
Warrior! = Warriors!
Our! = Us!

The second photo :
Part 2 :
Ally = Allied
Part 4 :
Unkhown = unknown
name = named
Part 7 :
When = Whenever

That's all I can find for now
I'll tell you more if I found some.

 

[huy60vn]

Thanks so much. I'll correct soon. Thanks so much! +rep

 

[Binsu]

There are some tranmissions from units. There must be a mistake in here. Hope you can help fix them.
Don't worry, I'll upload more.

Hidden

Other:

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1- us
2- allied
7- remove get
8- change has to have and you mean Detheroc?

 

[huy60vn]

Yes, Detheroc, custom story
+rep for you, too! People helped me at grammars can +rep without reason!

 

[Binsu]

Yes, Detheroc, custom story
+rep for you, too! People helped me at grammars can +rep without reason!

No worries and to add you more info, there is something else wrong on how you used words... yes they are correct... but the pattern is wrong. I suggest you should focus more on HOW you write them so players can understand on what you are trying to convey in each statement and sentences!

Good luck!

 

[MasterTrainer]

Also at your second post, part 1:
Change 'I saw you somewhere' to 'I've seen you somewhere before'

Also at Part 4:
Change 'name the Magical World' to 'named the Magical World'

Also at Part 5:
Change Datheroc to Detheroc
Change We Has Escaped to 'that we had escaped'
Change 'That Monster converted all of people' to 'That monster converted all of the people'
Change 'We always find a plan' to 'We always found a plan'

Also at Part 7:
change 'When outlanders came' to 'When outlanders come'

 

[Daffa]

I try to keep other sentence untouched except the mistaken words, that's why I convert the mistakes only.

It takes more time if you convert the whole sentence >.>

@MasterTrainer

Good job

 

[huy60vn]

Thank you, MasterTrainer! Now I feel happy when I show more transmissions. ^^
Here is another, I have corrected some words, but not at all.

Hidden

 

[Daffa]

Part 1 :
Change "that named" to "that Citadel named"
Change "the Ghosts are defending very well" to "the Ghosts are defending it very well"
Change "all ways, all bases and a gate" to "all the ways, bases and the gate"
Part 3 :
Change "you came at my need time" to "you came at my time of need"
Change "the Ghosts in this land is attacked us" to "the Ghosts in this land are attacking us"
Change "ememies" to "enemies"
Part 4 :
Change "contrusted" to "constructed"
Change "at east" to "at the east"
Change "center at" to "center of"
Part 5 :
Change "will be" to "will"

I can't continue now, will post again later, at school at the moment.

 

[Binsu]

Thank you, MasterTrainer! Now I feel happy when I show more transmissions. ^^
Here is another, I have corrected some words, but not at all.

Hidden

1- change Milord to Mi'lord and also change this " there is a entrance" to "there is an entrance". Remove very well....

2- maybe add "to" between listen and you. Send to Sended.

3- You've came/come at time not You came at my time. The ghost had/have/has not is.

4- escape to escaped

5- Will feel our wrath. Remove be and you mispelled wrath.

6- This is the time of hurry? Change it to we are in hurry.

8- remove I think, it is unnecessary. Other of my two sons? Change it to others. No need for the unnecessary line. Add we between also and need.

10- Change good luck all to Good luck to all

 

[Daffa]

^
Good finding, can't see them all.
I'm at school and I have to type carefully or I'm caught by meh teacher.

 

[huy60vn]

Wow, perfect! I'm very bad at English, I'll need to learn again.
I want to +rep, but I wanna spreading.

 

[Daffa]

No need for rep, we just doing our jobs as part of the development team.

 

[MasterTrainer]

At part 1:
Change 'There is a entrance go to inside the citadel' to There is an entrance that goes inside the Citadel'
Change 'That named Citadel of Lost' to 'That Citadel's name is the Lost Citadel'
Change the last sentence to: 'The Ghosts that defend the citadel are very skilled, defending every nook and cranny, all bases, and they defend the main gate also,makig it hard to penetrate!

At part 2:
I found it hard to understand but change it to this:
'Well, I'm going to listen to you so you and your fellow people go through the portal. Afterwards I'll send my ships to transport and send my warriors through the portal'

At Part 3:
Change 'You came at my need time' to 'You came at my time of need'
Change 'You are only my ally' to 'You're my only ally.'
Change 'The Ghost in this land is attacked us and we are in danager' to 'The Ghosts in this land are attacking us and we are in danger'
Change 'Now we are peparing for battle but the enemies are really strong!' to 'We are now preparing for battle, for the enemies are strong!'

At Part 4:
Change 'and I escape' to 'and I escaped'
Change 'My base is contrusted at east of this citadel' to 'My base is located/constructed (< you choose which) at the east of this citadel'
Change the last sentence to: 'So you and I must go to the Citadel entrance and strike an attack.'

At Part 5:
Change 'bastard ghosts' to 'Ghost bastards'
Change 'will be feel our wrath!' to 'will feel our wrath'

At Part 6:
Change the last sentence to: 'We need to push back the humans that came here'

At Part 7:
Change the two sentences to: 'We need to ambush them now, and fast. Else, all will be... lost.'

At Part 8:
Change the first sentence to: 'Derondora, you're the strongest son so I think you're worthy of defending the gate'
Change the next sentece to: To the other two sons, watch and defend Derondora from his west and east of his location, and be vigilant so you can attack the outlanders. Don't let them past the gate.'
Change the last sentence to: 'Derondora will aid you in battle'

At Part 10:
Change 'Good luck all' to 'Good luck to all!'

Sorry if some of these have been mentioned before me, it took me a while.

 

[huy60vn]

So long O_0 If I don't ask to grammars fixer, this project will be die *x*
Anyway, thanks again.

Hidden

- Fix Grammars (Work in progress)
- Fixed Terrains (near completed)
- I have a final plan: Upload to Map Section on July 2013.
- With the newest completed, I hope more people will help me in grammars. That's my last problem.
- Anyway, thanks for all comments. May you like the first Scarlet Crusade campaign.
-Upload screenshots: Tomorrow.
(The lightning... will light... the truth of the... Scarlet Onlsuaght...
Your anger... may not kill... us)

~huy60vn~

 

[Binsu]

So long O_0 If I don't ask to grammars fixer, this project will be die *x*
Anyway, thanks again.

Hidden

- Fix Grammars (Work in progress)
- Fixed Terrains (near completed)
- I have a final plan: Upload to Map Section on July 2013.
- With the newest completed, I hope more people will help me in grammars. That's my last problem.
- Anyway, thanks for all comments. May you like the first Scarlet Crusade campaign.
-Upload screenshots: Tomorrow.
(The lightning... will light... the truth of the... Scarlet Onlsuaght...
Your anger... may not kill... us)

~huy60vn~

Nice updates and I like the quote part!

 

[MasterTrainer]

So long O_0 If I don't ask to grammars fixer, this project will be die *x*
Anyway, thanks again.

Hidden

- Fix Grammars (Work in progress)
- Fixed Terrains (near completed)
- I have a final plan: Upload to Map Section on July 2013.
- With the newest completed, I hope more people will help me in grammars. That's my last problem.
- Anyway, thanks for all comments. May you like the first Scarlet Crusade campaign.
-Upload screenshots: Tomorrow.
(The lightning... will light... the truth of the... Scarlet Onlsuaght...
Your anger... may not kill... us)

~huy60vn~

Nice updates indeed.

 

[huy60vn]

There are the lastest problems of grammars. If I finished these, I can change date of testers is 22/5.

Hidden

Hidden

 

[MasterTrainer]

There are the lastest problems of grammars. If I finished these, I can change date of testers is 22/5.

Hidden

Hidden

Picture #1: Should be: "If I accept your help again, I'll be in debt to you. In here, we feel stronger, so thanks."

Picture #2: Should be: "I don't know how to thanks you. You rescued us from the demonic magic. This world will no longer be tainted read thanks to you."

Picture #3: Should be: "Then who will aid you in battle? I'm afraid that if you go alone, you might die, because the Scourge is too strong. We're not going to have a chance to stand against them in battle alone"

Or something like that.

 

[Daffa]

Part 1 :
Change helpful to help
Change feels to feel
Add It after the Need
Part 2 :
Change "How to thanks to you" to "how to thank you"
Part 3 :
Change "lead" to "lead the battle"
Change "Aganist" to "against"

@MasterTrainer
I post this without seeing your post ^^

 

[huy60vn]

Okay. Fixed the grammars.
The screenshots will upload in the afternoon. Thanks again. ^^

 

[Binsu]

1- If I accept your help once again, I am in debt with you. ( Icouldnt especially know what you are trying to convey here so I dont know what to change or alter)

2- I dont know how to thank you, you rescued us all from the demonic magic. The world is no longer in trouble.

3- change was to were.

 

[MasterTrainer]

Okay. Fixed the grammars.
The screenshots will upload in the afternoon. Thanks again. ^^

You're welcome =D

So will the test be at 22/5 or 25/5?

 

[huy60vn]

@Hell_Master
Another good work!
@MasterTrainer:
Testers will be test at 22/5, not 25/5 anymore ;D

 

[Vinz]

Yay will test soon!

 

[Daffa]

This better be good

 

[huy60vn]

EliTe: Thank for feedback and rating.

With a reason: The thread is too much posts, so I think we need to decreases our posts by post rarely. I'm worry if mods closed this thread. I've seen Rules again and think so.

 

[Daffa]

AFAIK, no rules restrict us from posting in a Map Dev thread.

 

[huy60vn]

I always read the rules and afraid if I've done something wrong.

 

[MasterTrainer]

Oh don't worry about the number of posts. My project thread reached 300+ and mods haven't even touched it.

 

[Daffa]

Trust me, as long you don't break Hive's Code of Conduct your projects are okay

 

[MasterTrainer]

Yeah! People don't generally care about how many posts are in a thread, but what's inside them.

You haven't done anything wrong, and if you do, we'll always tell you.

 

[Daffa]

^
Agree, also, I'm trying to keep this kind of interesting thread clean, don't worry, your project is safe, don't be to "cautious", rule aren't that strict.

 

[MasterTrainer]

@huy60vn any chapters done yet?

 

[Daffa]

I think he almost done with all of them.

 

[MasterTrainer]

That was rather fast; was that like less than a month?

 

[Binsu]

You can look into the first post for the Map Progress.

@huy60vn
While looking into your map progress in the first post, you got some nasty typos. Here are the right words:
-Chapter 2: Rally of the Dreadlord (or is it meant to be Really or in other words Re-Ally... being ally again?)
-Chapter 6 Part 1: The Lost Citadel
-Interlude: Change "He cant betray us" to "The Betrayal" looks better.
-Interludes: Change "Darkness' Call" to "Darkness' Calls"

 

[MasterTrainer]

^ Rally is a real word fyi.

 

[huy60vn]

Really ... Oh no... sorry, it's must be the truth of the Dreadlord.
Keep up see the map progress tab Something has changed.
"He can't betrayed us" is Althein's borther's saying.
The Lost Citadel ... Okay, it will be fix if possible.: It describes that Scarlet Crusade is in that citadel created by Darondis.
Darkness' Calls: it's too many of madness plans, and... the truth will be revealed...

And, it's working a little fast. I hope completed before last July.

 

[Vinz]

I'm hoping for some fresh updates, and looking forward to download the map!

 

[MasterTrainer]

^ Don't you mean downloading the campaign?

 

[huy60vn]

With both of you and reviewers' comments and feedback, good job on my project a little.
(now over 1850 views!, very fast!)
Oh yes, it will download to all. But not in this month.

 

[MasterTrainer]

If we can't download it, how will we do the testing?