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Joking Around

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How do you confuse an archaeologist?
Give him a used tampon and ask him what period it's from.


Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
He's all right now.
 
2 men were going to face the gallows over a river
The first man is going to be hung, but the rope breaks and so he ends up escaping by swimming in the river
And the second one says:
,,Tie me good!I don't know how to swim"
 
An American, German and Bosnian went to fight Bruce Lee. He was in a building with 10 stores (at the top store). First, The American went in. After 5 minutes, he flew out of the window. Secondly, The German went in. After 15 minutes, he flew out of the window as well. Lastly, the Bosnian went in. The two waited for about 2 hours, and finally, the Bosnian left the building via the front door.

"How did you beat him?" they asked. He responded: "He uses attack, i use block, he uses attack, i use block, he again uses attack, i use block. I spent all my blocks so i hit him with a brick."

Block - bloc (They are read the same way)
 
So there are 4 nuns who died. Since they wished abstinence when they became nuns, God offers them the last cleaning of their 'sins'. "Whatever part of your body that had contact with a naked man shall be cleansed in the water". First nun had already seen a naked man, so she cleans her eyes. Second one had already touched one, so she cleaned her hands. God sees the two others fighting over something. After some debate, one nun comes to god and says: "Right, I just had to make sure I could clean my mouth before she cleans her ass".


A woman is giving birth at the hospital. When the baby pops out, the doctor quickly takes him and goes out of the room with it. He comes back to the mom empty-handed. The woman asks where her baby is, so the doctor says he's got a bad and a good news. Woman wants the bad one first: she learns that the baby's a ginger. When she asks for the good one, the doctor says: "He's dead lol".


What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a red Lamborghini?

I don't have a red Lamborghini in my bedroom.

---

What's the difference between a dead baby and a KFC bucket?

I can't eat a whole KFC bucket.

---

What's worst than 10 dead babies in a trash bin?

A dead baby in 10 trash bins.
 
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Hubcool said:
So there are 4 nuns who died. Since they wished abstinence when they became nuns, God offers them the last cleaning of their 'sins'. "Whatever part of your body that had contact with a naked man shall be cleansed in the water". First nun had already seen a naked man, so she cleans her eyes. Second one had already touched one, so she cleaned her hands. God sees the two others fighting over something. After some debate, one nun comes to god and says: "Right, I just had to make sure I could clean my mouth before she cleans her ass".


A woman is giving birth at the hospital. When the baby pops out, the doctor quickly takes him and goes out of the room with it. He comes back to the mom empty-handed. The woman asks where her baby is, so the doctor says he's got a bad and a good news. Woman wants the bad one first: she learns that the baby's a ginger. When she asks for the bad one, the doctor says: "He's dead lol".


What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a red Lamborghini?

I don't have a red Lamborghini in my bedroom.

---

What's the difference between a dead baby and a KFC bucket?

I can't eat a whole KFC bucket.

---

What's worst than 10 dead babies in a trash bin?

A dead baby in 10 trash bins.
Click to expand...

Where's the good news at the clean joke?
 
justin bieber joke :
what the same thing about justin bieber, rebbeca black and AO?
They all annoying (AO = Annoying Orange)

another joke :
an american, iraq and indonesian soldier hang out :
american : american soldier are the bravest!
both : why is that?
american : just look, hey you soldier! grab that mine!
BOOM! the american soldier hand is burned
iraq :only that? My ant can do that!
iraq : now watch closely! Soldier! bite that mine!
BOOM! the iraq soldier head burned
indonesian :that's nothing!
both : you can do better than that?
indonesian : Soldier! throw rock at that mine!
both : throw rock?
indonesian soldier : NO!
indonesian : see! The indonesian soldier too brave, even he brave enough to not obey his commander!

(I am indonesia! GO indonesia!)
 
on Iraq.
There were Three guys caught by a police and sentenced to be lashed 20 times
the chief said, since this is a minor crime, you three are to be given a wish each.

1st guy said: "put an iron plate on my back"
the chief said: that's impossible we could only give you what is on this room

1st guy: "then give me that heavy pillow over there!"
on the 5th lash the pillow breaks and the guy was released bloodied and crying.

2nd guy: " give me the last two pillows on my back" and sneers
10th lash and the pillows break the guy was released crying

chief: "since i know you and there are no more pillows in this room, i'll give you 2 wishes"

3rd guy: "then not only you should give me 20 lashes, but a hundred!"

the chief, very surprised said: a hundred! no one is even brave enough to think about it!!!

3rd guy: "My second wish?"
TIE THESE TWO GUYS ON MY BACK
 
Okay, little joey goes to school.

First 2 school lessons are biology.

The Teacher tries to help them to understand human sexuality.

Little Joey puts his hand up and asks: "I know this, my father did that to the post boy" and he point's at the sex scene picture which the teacher uses to depict the lesson.

The Teacher asks Joey: "What? You mean your mother and your father, right?"

Joey: "No no, my father and the post boy."

The Teacher asks Joey: "Knows your mother that?"

Joey: "Yes, my mother IS the post boy."

:P
 
My ant can do that!
Click to expand...
Interesting characteristic for an ant.

Which reminds me, I had a pet ant once. Admittedly not quite as durable. Exemplary specimen though, working set of antennas and all. I kept it in a tiny box I used to store backlogs of what I hoped would some day ammount to malicious weaponry that I could use to fend off hornets. I hate hornets. Nastly little creatures, aren't they? In retrospective it was probably not the best accommodations for an ant, but the little bugger didn't seem to mind. Anyways, operation Hornet, as it turns out, was inherently futile considering the box actually composed predominantly of rotten apples and pieces of chalk (besides the ant of course); not quite as lethal a combination as one might think. But I'm getting ahead of myself, you're interested in the ant aren't you? Well, I guess you wouldn't possibly read this paragraph if my little ant amigo didn't interest you in the slightest. A brighter fellow would just scroll past this post, wouldn't he?

I suppose a picture is in order, I don't want you to go ahead and envision my ant any way you seem fit.
Who knows what ghastly creature would emerge from the deepest corner of your imagination?

My ant:

133407-albums3940-picture53692.png


Now where was I?

Oh yes, come to think of it, this anecdote doesn't carry over any aspects meant to be demonstrated. Especially not in regards to your post, or the dissected quote. I only wanted to point out that you probably meant to say aunt, not ant. Afterall, why on earth would anyone in their right mind make boastful claims about whether or not their ant can survive hugging a landmine?

I know I wouldn't.

I guess this was all a waste of time.
 
fladdermasken said:
Interesting characteristic for an ant.

Which reminds me, I had a pet ant once. Admittedly not quite as durable. Exemplary specimen though, working set of antennas and all. I kept it in a tiny box I used to store backlogs of what I hoped would some day ammount to malicious weaponry that I could use to fend off hornets. I hate hornets. Nastly little creatures, aren't they? In retrospective it was probably not the best accommodations for an ant, but the little bugger didn't seem to mind. Anyways, operation Hornet, as it turns out, was inherently futile considering the box actually composed predominantly of rotten apples and pieces of chalk (besides the ant of course); not quite as lethal a combination as one might think. But I'm getting ahead of myself, you're interested in the ant aren't you? Well, I guess you wouldn't possibly read this paragraph if my little ant amigo didn't interest you in the slightest. A brighter fellow would just scroll past this post, wouldn't he?

I suppose a picture is in order, I don't want you to go ahead and envision my ant any way you seem fit.
Who knows what ghastly creature would emerge from the deepest corner of your imagination?

My ant:

133407-albums3940-picture53692.png


Now where was I?

Oh yes, come to think of it, this anecdote doesn't carry over any aspects meant to be demonstrated. Especially not in regards to your post, or the dissected quote. I only wanted to point out that you probably meant to say aunt, not ant. Afterall, why on earth would anyone in their right mind make boastful claims about whether or not their ant can survive hugging a landmine?

I know I wouldn't.

I guess this was all a waste of time.
Click to expand...

Lol, you remind me of an ant colony I once had
Well, better said, an ant colony which I once found, as I found it somewhere near my home...but i love checking how are the ants doing there every day, getting them tiny bits of bread...and seeing how they move from here and there, how do they expand their colony...and so on...I remember that experience perfectly, it was very relaxing, making myself forget of all the other stuff I had on mind
 
Blonde joke
-What did the blonde get for stealing a calender?
-
12 months.

Norwegian joke
A new exclusive nightclub had just opened in central Oslo with good food and service. Even though they had all of that there were still no customers.
The owner decided to sit down and discuss the issue.
-Maybe it is the stripper?
-It cant be her, she is a professional who has been in the business since 1947.
 
What races is Medivh? What are he? a human, undead, or an orc? that question still bugging me
 
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