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Joking Around

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three women are being chased by the police
a blonde, a brunette and and a ginger went at the barn and hid inside the barrels each.
the policeman came in and kicked the first barrel
"cluck cluck" the blonde said,"maybe chickens" said the policeman then he kicked the second barrel
"quack quack" said the brunette, "maybe ducks" the policeman said then he kicked the last barrel.
"Potatoes." the ginger said...
 
guy1: dude! we don't have enough water in this neighborhood! i'm sick of it! i can't even do laundry! im wearing my underwear for three days now!
guy2: pffft! that's nothing! my underwear's like a blockbuster movie!
guy1: WHY?
guy2: NOW ON IT'S SECOND WEEK!
 
if someone xplodes in your lawn make sure to remove all the blood
if you make explode that guy make sure to explode police too
if you make explode police by any reason make sure you get chuck norris
if you get chuck norris make sure you dont get rambo both are orb effect and dont stack
if you get 2 orb efect put most important one in your first invontory space
if you got something in your first inventory space get more and more items ^^
if you get more items make a recipe with them
if you make a recipe......put some sugar in it ^^
if you put sugar in it put some bread too :)
if you got some bread insert it on cd drive
if you got bread on the cd drive eat it
if you eat something make sure is NOT chuck norris
if you eat chuck norris stop reading this stupid tread and so tomething else because
if you dont got ofended continue readint if NOT just reset your computer
if you .......WTF WHY U STILL READING
if you wtf reading then continue reading
now im thinking it dont keep reading >.<
WTF WHY IM STILL WRITING >.<!!!!!!!!!1
 
A father and son conversation:
Son: Dad, you drink coffee and it has caffeine in it right?
Father: Yes.
Son: I drink cocoa, so is there cocaine in it?...
 
The rabbit and the bear are walking in the forest when suddenly they spot a frog which says:
,,I will grant 3 wishes to each of you...Bear, you first, what do you wish?"
,,I wish that all the bears in this forest exept me would be females" says the bear
,,Wish granted, now you, rabbit?"
,,I wish that i will have a helmet and a motorbike" says the rabbit
,,Wish granted, now, bear, what is your second wish?" says the frog
,,I wish that all the bears in the next forest are females too"
,,Wish granted, now rabbit, what is your second wish?"
,,I wish that my motorbike will be very fast" says the rabbit
,,Wish granted!Bear, what is your last wish?" asks the frog
,,I wish that all the bears in this world exept me will be females!" says the bear happily
,,Wish granted, and now, at last...Rabbit, what is your third, and last wish?"
The rabbit, gets on his motorbike, puts on his helmet, and starts riding away, while he screams:
,,I wish that the bear is homosexual!!!"
 
DAY 1
-----
so a chicken goes to a library
and is all

"bok bok bok bok"


DAY 2
-----
so this same chicken again goes to a library
and is just liek

"bok bok bok bok"


DAY 3
-----
so this chicken again hits up the mad lib-crib
and hollas,

"bok bok bok bok"

DAY 1
-----
so a bullfrog is sitting at his river crib
and the chicken comes to him
and he's just all

"reddit. reddit. reddit. reddit."


(word changes made for cooler effect, more g-unit factor)
 
A client calls Microsoft Technical Support.
"I just installed Windows 7, Beta Version, and Microsoft Office 2007 stopped working."
"Oh, that's alright. We had the same problem..."
"And what did you do?"
"We reinstalled Windows 7"
... An hour later the client calls again.
"Oook... so now my whole system stopped functioning!"
"That's what happened to us too..."
 
Hello,

Belgarath said:
DAY 3
-----
so this chicken again hits up the mad lib-crib
and hollas,

"bok bok bok bok"

DAY 1
-----
so a bullfrog is sitting at his river crib
and the chicken comes to him
and he's just all

"reddit. reddit. reddit. reddit."
Click to expand...

It actually took me a couple o' minutes to figure out the point, but nice it is nevertheless. :)
 
One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. They are about to kiss each other goodnight, but the guy is feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her ”Darling, would you give me a blow job?"
Horrified, she replies "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
Him: "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"
Her: "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
Him: "Oh come on, there's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
Her: "No way. It's just too risky!"
Him (horny as hell): "Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"
Her: "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"
Him: "Oh yes you can. Please?"
Her: "No, no. I just can't"
Him: "I beg you ... "
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pyjamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says: "Dad says to go ahead and give him a blow job. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he'll come down himself and do it. But for god sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom.
 
redscores said:
Okay, little joey goes to school.

First 2 school lessons are biology.

The Teacher tries to help them to understand human sexuality.

Little Joey puts his hand up and asks: "I know this, my father did that to the post boy" and he point's at the sex scene picture which the teacher uses to depict the lesson.

The Teacher asks Joey: "What? You mean your mother and your father, right?"

Joey: "No no, my father and the post boy."

The Teacher asks Joey: "Knows your mother that?"

Joey: "Yes, my mother IS the post boy."

:P
Click to expand...
i don't get it :P
 
One blonde says to the other:
"Hey, i did a pregnancy test yesterday"
The other blonde replies:
"Oh really? Where the questions hard?"

What's the longest hair on the human body?
The hair on your ass. Because when you pull it, your eyes close.

Lolololololol.. funny
 
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