Finally, some decent critique! Thank you for writing all of that ^_^
Well first bug is with the elements chasing the dragons, the pathing messes up (someone forgot to remove collision from them) in the round about and thus looks funny.
Yeah... I wonder who that could be... >_> <_<
Try doing that first part again. 9/10 times it works, but occasionally it doesn't.
Second is with the elevators in the second map...
Going to redo terrain in next version, the temple is not going to be included.
Third bug is with the level up system, after picking up the special hero tome you gain a level and a skill point, with that dragon if you pick up another dragon's level up tome it does not make you gain a level nor destroy the tome but IT REMOVES THE SKILL POINT so you phisically lose 1 entire skill point, which is VERY bad.
Will fix for next version, thanks for pointing that out.
Fourth bug is you can mass murder the city since there is no friendly fire stopper and the city dragons are damagable.
I never thought about that... will make them all invulnerable for next version.
Next to that the scripting seems the be short cutted but that does not hinder or alter game play.
What do you mean? The second map is getting a massive overhaul.
About the actual story it self.
I know this is your campaign but still, you could do with rethinking it.
Firstly you refer to the dragons as humans a lot (you call them people which refers to humans which obviously they are not). Yes I know english is very human orintated since even calling the dragons "him"/"he" and "her"/"she" should techincaly be "it" but that is allowed since humans often call inanimate objects as "she"/"her" and thus it is ok but calling the dragons people is wrong since they are not humans.
Don't people also refer to their pets as "he/she"? Dragons have genders too you know. But saying "dragons" all the time instead of "people" just makes it sound bad. It's like us referring to ourselves as "humans" instead of people. Remember, as the Blood Mage says "For my people", he is not talking about humans, he is talking about his race, the blood elves. So a dragon talking about his "people" refers to his/her race, i.e. dragons.
The dragons I find mimic humans far too much, yes some human mimicry is allowed...
I do not believe in feral uncivilised dragons. I just like dragons, and having everyone hissing makes it sound stupid. And hissing is one thing my microphone screws up a lot.
The actual setting of the first part of the campaign is messed up, by default dragons which are normally refered to as cold blooded...
Should I add a scarf or something around their neck? Besides, it could be in a temperate place, just in the dead of winter. Also, in the next version, there's a lot which occurs
inside their house, which has a fireplace and candles and such. See my thread in the terrain forum for examples.
Also you reference the 2 main starting heroes (the brothers) having a 3 month or something age difference but no other brothers, which is unusual since almost all dragons (not made up since dragons do exist in the real world) normally lay more than 1 egg which hatch soon after each other (1 - 2 days atmost difference)...
Should I change that to hours or days then?
In families it is highly unlikly that such a difference in personalities would occure, especially if they are so close like you show them as, ones saying dude all the time and the other is more normal. ... You need to rethink the overall personalities.
That's just his personality. Remember, wc3 is a
fantasy game. Besides, I have two friends who are twins who couldn't be more different personality-wise. And Lirch is supposed to be more silly and childish, that's his personality.
The one fire dragon said "holy bleep" which just shows bad script design and low quality work...
I'm changing that to "crap" in the next version.
The city layout was too lineal, try making it more open and random since currently it looks like you spent 5 minutes making it (30-60 should be a half decent city)... You could by goods from the one shop as well which probably is a bug (Nope it's not a bug) but proper shops with lots of items should be made.
Again, the terrain (including the city) is going to be completely redone in the next version. The shops are a good idea though.
I know voice actors are hard to get cheeply (especially good ones) but you need to work on the emotion of the different scenes and the continuity of speaking since blizzard's campaigns are a lot more fluid in speach and emotion with decent blending of character interaction which yours seems to miss entirly. A lot of the voices were very monotonis and sounded like you selected text in MSword and said read to me. Also the king's voice was too soft compaired to the others.
All of the voice actors are people I personally know, as it is easier to have them come around to my house and do it all there. In future though, I will be needing some more ones, especially since I got in a big fight with Firch and so he's not doing voice acting any more, but I already found a suitable replacement for him.
Well, I actually did do that last part... I feel guilty now >_<
Lots of people say that the voices are monotonous, but I dunno if it's the whole thing that needs to be redone, or just a certain part, or what.
Also, the king's voice actor lives in Canada, and I live in the US, and that's the loudest his microphone will do without it butchering the sound.
The baddies you fight along the way need to be included into the story...
I'm going to remove the creeps, add some wolves deep in the forest, and have a path. There's going to be things like a tool booth which you have to go find something to pay it for, which takes you on a mini-quest, and all sorts of stuff.
Do not be offended by this but this is what I feel really needs to be done.
I am not offended, rather I thank you a lot for pointing out that stuff.