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Feedback / General Questions

Discussion in 'Pyritie's Adventure' started by Pyritie, Apr 28, 2007.

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  1. Pyritie

    Pyritie

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    Post all feedback regarding the campaign here.

    This was the thread that was originally in the Map Development forum. I have also cleaned it out a bit.
     
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2007
  2. Urlock

    Urlock

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    Dialog needs work; the charachter's speak in a matter-of-fact tone and style.

    I think this campaign has potential though.
     
  3. Pyritie

    Pyritie

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    Hmm... I'll look into that...

    The problem is, it took a long time to get all of the people to come over and do the recording. Do you mind telling me which ones exactly so I don't have to go and rerecord the whole campaign? Thanks for feedback though!

    I am currently re-doodad-ifying the first two maps, after I found some AWESOME doodads. I'm not gonna say which ones, because then people will go and try uploading them here, which the author made clear he does NOT want them doing. I'm also going to change the scenes with Dappledorch and Burnie so that they are inside their house, and not outside it.

    Third map is about 7/10 done.
     
  4. DoOs_101

    DoOs_101

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    I'd give it a 6/10 for a score. Don't get me wrong, since it is 7/10 done 6 is a good score. I think this campaign has potential.

    sidenote: Stick to hiveworkshop instead :D, worldofwar is a mess now, can't even make a bug thread there.
     
  5. Pyritie

    Pyritie

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    M&M's login issues should be fixed now.

    Getting a lot of progress done on it, about 5/10 done
     
  6. Pajam

    Pajam

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    Hiho,
    I tried your campaign and I really liked it. You made a nice terrain in my opinion and I really like that you recorded speeches on your own. The way you designed the quests you have to do were really nice but too short... well, I only had the chance to play 1 map... I just can say "keep on your good work" and I hope to get more quests/ maps of your campaign.
    The only bad thing I recognized was that some characters' speeches were only readable but not audible. (maybe I'm the only one with that problem...)
    But all in all it seems to be great!
    -greetings, Pajam
     
  7. Pyritie

    Pyritie

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    Was it Coalch's speech? He lives in Canada, and I live in England, so I just had to put up with his crappy microphone. I'm still working on that.

    And thanks about the terrain, but if you thought that was good, then... well... I'm currently redoing the terrain at the moment if you get what I mean ;)

    Next map and version will be out some time this summer (hopefully), so I hope you can play it again then!
     
  8. Pajam

    Pajam

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    Hi Pyritie,
    I'm not sure what his name was... it was the king in dragonmorticar (or how the town is called) but it's not so important. Who cares about one figure?... so, keep on working on the next map and I wish you nice ideas for the other parts of your campaign. And I'm sure, I'll play it.
    -greetings, Pajam
     
  9. Pyritie

    Pyritie

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    Yes. That's Coalch.
     
  10. Malvodion

    Malvodion

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    i love this campaing :grin:






    En Taro Adum :spell_breaker:
     
  11. Pyritie

    Pyritie

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    Yay! ^_^

    Was there anything you did not like? Something to improve upon, perhaps? No campaign is perfect, you know, but I can only make it better with feedback!
     
  12. Darkey

    Darkey

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    Download link doesn't work for me. :(
     
  13. Pyritie

    Pyritie

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    Well it still works for me, so I dunno why it isn't working for you. Try again later maybe.
     
  14. Darkey

    Darkey

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    Yeah, seems to work now. :) Damn 4shared.
     
  15. Pyritie

    Pyritie

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    Hey, it's better than filefront or one of those other annoying ones.

    Just remember that the next version will have much more stuff in it, for example, an addition to the first map (Those screenshots from my terrain thread) and a third map. I'm also redoing the terrain drastically, as well as redoing the whole of the second map so it's much more fun.
     
  16. Dr Super Good

    Dr Super Good

    Spell Reviewer

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    As trigger moderator I decided to do a wise saying.
    "As a user of a program it is your task to be as stupid as possiable and do your best to break the program"
    And man this map can get baddly broken

    Well first bug is with the elements chasing the dragons, the pathing messes up (someone forgot to remove collision from them) in the round about and thus looks funny.

    Second is with the elevators in the second map. They bugg badly including your heroes vanishing and "falling down" the elevators to a lower level (or climbing up a raised elevator).

    Third but is with the level up system, after picking up the special hero tome you gain a level and a skill point, with that dragon if you pick up another dragon's level up tome it does not make you gain a level nor destroy the tome but IT REMOVES THE SKILL POINT so you phisically lose 1 entire skill point, which is VERY bad.

    Fourth bug is you can mass murder the city since there is no friendly fire stopper and the city dragons are damagable.

    Next to that the scripting seems the be short cutted but that does not hinder or alter game play.

    About the actual story it self.
    I know this is your campaign but still, you could do with rethinking it.

    Firstly you refer to the dragons as humans a lot (you call them people which refers to humans which obviously they are not). Yes I know english is very human orintated since even calling the dragons "him"/"he" and "her"/"she" should techincaly be "it" but that is allowed since humans often call inanimate objects as "she"/"her" and thus it is ok but calling the dragons people is wrong since they are not humans.

    The dragons I find mimic humans far too much, yes some human mimicry is allowed, but currently your story could be acted out using humans instead of dragons with no problem what so ever or plot discontinuities. You really need to in the very first intro cinimatics get through that thoes are dragons and not just people since even the mother extinuishing the house could be preformed by a human (ice mage?) and so they do not really feel like they are dragons.

    The actual setting of the first part of the campaign is messed up, by default dragons which are normally refered to as cold blooded (you can still make them warm blooded since many are meant to actually have lava flowing as blood (refference to HOM&M5+expansions)), which would mean they would prefer not to live in frozen areas (ice dragons are an exception) or atleast not without armor if they are warm blooded. Maybe make it take place in a more temperate climate or give all dragons some kink of armor since it sticks out seeing a naked dragon (NO not the ice dragons, they like it) walking where the badies you fight are in thick coats (wolves, bares, trolls) and not suffering any cold penalty.

    Also you reference the 2 main starting heroes (the brothers) having a 3 month or something age difference but no other brothers, which is unusual since almost all dragons (made up that is since a dragon never has existed in the real world) normally lay more than 1 egg which hatch soon after each other (1 - 2 days atmost difference). Remember dragons are not humans and again that makes it ever so easy to imagine everything being human based and not dragons. You definattly need to reconsider that part of the story.

    The one brother's dialog sounds like he is on drugs, saying all thoes dudes and stuff. Also in families it is highly unlikly that such a difference in personalities would occure, especially if they are so close like you show them ass, ones saying dude all the time and the other is more normal. Also the civilization you created in the campaign is primitive compared to modern real life with radios, mobiles and computers and the entire dude thing was started in the last 40-50 odd years and thus in such a civilization it should be techinicly impossiable for a person/dragon to take on the trait of talking like that. You need to rethink the overall personalities.

    The one fire dragon said "holy bleep" which just shows bad script design and low quality work. Propper scripts should avoid saying words like "fuck" unless it fist into the characters personality in which case it is perfectly ok to say swear words propperly and out loud in the voice acting since this is a gamming community that supports adults as well and most 10+ year olds say "fuck" 8-3687 times a day so there is no reason for it to be censored. If you do censor it use a propper "BEEEEEEEEP" sound from a synthisizor or other game/source since a said "beep" really makes it sound like no effort was put into making the script.

    The city layout was too lineal, try making it more open and random since currently it looks like you spent 5 minutes making it (30-60 should be a half decent city). Also the people in the city should have more personality, do something random or be interactable. You could by goods from the one shop as well which probably is a bug but propper shops with lots of items should be made.

    I know voice actors are hard to get cheeply (especially good ones) but you need to work on the emotion of the different scenes and the continuity of speaking since blizzard's campaigns are a lot more fluid in speach and emotion with decent blending of character interaction which yours seems to miss entirly. A lot of the voices were very monotonis and sounded like you selected text in MSword and said read to me. Also the king's voice was too soft compaired to the others.

    The badies you fight along the way need to be included into the story. Currently they are just there and seem like they never were not there. Maybe make them minions of the evil dragon or something to do with that artifact since that is what most games base them on.

    Do not be offended by this but this is what I feel really needs to be done.
     
  17. Pyritie

    Pyritie

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    Finally, some decent critique! Thank you for writing all of that ^_^
    Yeah... I wonder who that could be... >_> <_<

    Try doing that first part again. 9/10 times it works, but occasionally it doesn't.

    Going to redo terrain in next version, the temple is not going to be included.

    Will fix for next version, thanks for pointing that out.

    I never thought about that... will make them all invulnerable for next version.

    What do you mean? The second map is getting a massive overhaul.

    Don't people also refer to their pets as "he/she"? Dragons have genders too you know. But saying "dragons" all the time instead of "people" just makes it sound bad. It's like us referring to ourselves as "humans" instead of people. Remember, as the Blood Mage says "For my people", he is not talking about humans, he is talking about his race, the blood elves. So a dragon talking about his "people" refers to his/her race, i.e. dragons.

    I do not believe in feral uncivilised dragons. I just like dragons, and having everyone hissing makes it sound stupid. And hissing is one thing my microphone screws up a lot.

    Should I add a scarf or something around their neck? Besides, it could be in a temperate place, just in the dead of winter. Also, in the next version, there's a lot which occurs inside their house, which has a fireplace and candles and such. See my thread in the terrain forum for examples.

    Should I change that to hours or days then?

    That's just his personality. Remember, wc3 is a fantasy game. Besides, I have two friends who are twins who couldn't be more different personality-wise. And Lirch is supposed to be more silly and childish, that's his personality.

    I'm changing that to "crap" in the next version.

    Again, the terrain (including the city) is going to be completely redone in the next version. The shops are a good idea though.

    All of the voice actors are people I personally know, as it is easier to have them come around to my house and do it all there. In future though, I will be needing some more ones, especially since I got in a big fight with Firch and so he's not doing voice acting any more, but I already found a suitable replacement for him.

    Well, I actually did do that last part... I feel guilty now >_<

    Lots of people say that the voices are monotonous, but I dunno if it's the whole thing that needs to be redone, or just a certain part, or what.

    Also, the king's voice actor lives in Canada, and I live in the US, and that's the loudest his microphone will do without it butchering the sound.

    I'm going to remove the creeps, add some wolves deep in the forest, and have a path. There's going to be things like a tool booth which you have to go find something to pay it for, which takes you on a mini-quest, and all sorts of stuff.

    I am not offended, rather I thank you a lot for pointing out that stuff.
     
  18. ragingspeedhorn

    ragingspeedhorn

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    I could probably do some voice acting if needed, depending on what type of voices you would need.
     
  19. Pyritie

    Pyritie

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    Depends. What sort of style do you think you're best at? I think I'm going to have to find someone to replace the king's voice, as he's always busy and never understands completely what I want him to do even though I spell it out for him, etc.
     
  20. ragingspeedhorn

    ragingspeedhorn

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    Best at generic human like voice, I can both do black and white (black when I twitch it in this program I've got, if it still works). I can do a bit of this and that, but best at humanlike voices, can't do orc or troll.
     
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