Tell me A Joke

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Some guy was driving his car trough the forest. Suddenly, a short man wearing red clothes jumps in front of his car. The guy stops his car and yells:
-Who are you?

-I am little red gay midget - the stranger replied - and I am very hungry. Can you give me some food?
The guy gave him a sandwich and said:
-Sure. Here you go.

Then, our guy continues forward. After five minutes, another short man, this time in green clothes, jumped in front of his car.
-Hi, I am little green gay midget. I am very thirsty. Please, give me something to drink.

-Here you go, have some coca-cola.
Our guy gave him some coca-cola and continued to drive forward.

Five minutes later, another short man jumped in front of his car. He was wearing blue clothes. Short man was about to say something, when our guy interrupted him:
-Yeah, yeah, I know. You are a blue midget and you are a fag. What do you want?

The midget replied:
-Good evening. Please show me your ID and driving license.





Bah. This one is way better in Serbian.
 
haha i got one, i been tellin this joke forever and its always funny (when im baked).

So an old couple are in bed and the old lady goes like "what did u think of my body when u first saw me?" and the old man goes like "i just wanted to fck your brains out and suck your t1ts dry" and then the old lady removes her clothes and goes like "what do u think of it now?" and the old man replies: "I think i did a pretty good job".
 
a completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A pig pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk." Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the pig. "Let's go.". Breathing a sigh of relief, the drunk dude said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."
 
A psychologist returned from a conference in Aspen lodge, where all the psychologists were permitted to ski for free. Her husband asked her, "how did it go?". "Fine", she replied, "but I've never seen so many Freudians slips."
 
Taken from Jokes from the Internet #2

TRUE STORY
Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist!!
Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea was to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow.

The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the US scientists for suggestions. NASA responded with a one-line memo:
"Defrost the chicken".
 
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