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Tell your jokes here

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Bustr_Bladr, Nov 8, 2005.

  1. Secret Assasin54321

    Secret Assasin54321

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    Alright here's a jokes for you, (sorry if it's a little long)
    There was this kid in 4th grade who was doing poorly in Math. He didn't really care much for the subject and his parents were worried that his son would fail it.
    After hearing their neighbor suggest that he go to a Catholic school, the boy's parents decided to send him there.
    Months passed and the boy's Math grades shot up from a D to an A. The parents were amazed by their sons Math ability and over dinner decided to ask him why he got so good at Math. His reply was like this, "Well when I saw the guy nailed on a giant Plus (+) sign, I knew they took Math seriously here".
     
  2. Raiju

    Raiju

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    THAT ONE IS FUNNY

    see olof? i do have sense of humor :wink:
     
  3. N00byStance

    N00byStance

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  4. Almost_there

    Almost_there

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  5. olofmoleman

    olofmoleman

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    ya, ya, ok.

    anyway...
    let see if I can come up with some more...

    how about this one?
    -it's brown and skies down a mountain...
    -A skiwi!


    or this one
    -how does a dumb farmer protect his chicken against the cold weather?
    -use double gauze on the fence
     
  6. PhoenixFeather

    PhoenixFeather

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    A man is proudly looking at himself in a mirror. He asks his wife if there are many charming and intelligent men in the world. Then she answers: - Well, there's at least one less than you think.
     
  7. Secret Assasin54321

    Secret Assasin54321

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    Thanks guys, I'll see if I can find any others, that one wasn't origginally mine, my dad told that one to me... I'll try to come up with something...

    EDIT: Here's another one...
    Two cannibals are eating a clown, one cannibal turns to the other and says,"Does this taste funny to you?"
     
  8. Killer_Mushroom

    Killer_Mushroom

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    What has two legs and bleeds profusely?
    Half a cat.
     
  9. Bustr_Bladr

    Bustr_Bladr

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    Man, that one was grose! :shock:

    -Why did the toilet paper rolled dow a hill?
    -To get to the bottom.

    Get it? Bottom, @$$
     
  10. Ramza

    Ramza

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    -.- ... lol :p

    Whats yellow and when it hits ur eye, u can die.



    a train
    ---------------------------------------
    Its brown and it crawls on ur leg



    crap with homesickness 8)
     
  11. Raiju

    Raiju

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    some trains arent yellow :?
     
  12. Ramza

    Ramza

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    Oh ye... didnt think of that. I live in holland and there all the trains are yellow
     
  13. olofmoleman

    olofmoleman

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    yeah trains in holland are yellow with blue.
     
  14. Raiju

    Raiju

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    hey here is one a little dirty (sorry if it doesnt looks funny its because i didnt translated it quite well)

    3 cientists were in a african jungle researching, when they are captured by a tribe of cannibals

    they put the cientists in a cell and called their Chieftain. the Chieftain said to them that their people like a lot the "whitey butts" so he was going to give'em a choice...

    He asks for the first one: Death or Cowabunga (guess what is that :twisted: ) ?
    -Cowaaaaabungaaa woooo!

    5 men began to "Cowabunga" him while the others just hear the screams, when they finished with the gay cientist they freed him and he went back to the base jumping of happiness ^^

    Then the Chieftain asks for the second: Death or Cowabunga?
    -Oh my God i have 2 children and a wife, i cant leave them! I'm a man but i have to this for the sake of my family, cowabunga...

    again 5 men began to "Cowabunga" him. when they finished the man went back to the base with horror stamped on the face

    Finally, the Chieftain asks for the last cientist: Death or Cowabunga?
    -I'm a man goddammit! F*ck all of you gay cannibals. i prefer Death over this!

    then the chieftain thinks a little and say: DEATH BY COWABUNGA :twisted:
     
  15. Ramza

    Ramza

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    That 1 is the frist joke where I really had to laugh :lol:
     
  16. Bustr_Bladr

    Bustr_Bladr

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    A mailman got to deliver a letter and when he got near the house he saw a poster that says: "Beware, dog". He got carefully in and he saw the lady of the house with a chihuahua. Then he asks:
    -That's a cute little dog, but why did you put that poster that says beware?
    -I don't want my doggy to get squished.
     
  17. Ki

    Ki

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    These jokes are directed towards people who arn't serious (and are crude).

    How many babies does it take to paint a house?
    -Trick question, it depends on how hard you throw them.

    What's the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies?
    -I don't have a corvette in my garage.

    What is burnt, crispy, and taps on glass?
    -A baby in a microwave

    What's worse than ten dead babies in one garbage can?
    -One dead baby in ten garbage cans
     
  18. Raiju

    Raiju

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    the last one was slightly cool
     
  19. Leopard

    Leopard

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    LOL, most of jokes are cool. Sorry I don't have one, maybe next time.
     
  20. olofmoleman

    olofmoleman

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    wtf?
    What do you have against babies?


    anyway... here are sum jokes

    -What has eyes but can't see?
    A potato!

    A translation from Dutch, so maybe it's not that funny.
    -A pig walks up to a wall plug and says "aaw poor thing, who trapped you in there?"