Tell A Joke

[Artistical-w00t]

Any1 got a good joke? post it here! so everybody will laugh..!
Hmmm that's a good 1:
(Age: Above 11, i think)
Some guy lost his way in the desert, He walk's despertly, with no water, food, or sex! He need's sex!
Than, he find's a camel, he tries to !@#$ him, the camel move's... again!.. the camel move's...
Suddenly! He see's a pretty girl near a broken car.
She say's: Fix my car plz sir, and ill do any thing!
The guy fixes the car, Guy: now u will do any thing?
Girl: yes, Guy: Any thing???, Girl: YES!
Guy: Can u hold the camel?!
(hoped you liked it..!) :lol:
Now let's see urs... 8)

 

[Dread The Undead]

good one!
heres another -

once there was a Baby frog, Mother frog and father frog.
baby frog: quak (frog sound)
mother frog: quak quak
father frog: quak quak quak
suddenly the baby frog pull out a gun and shot his father, his mother frog ask him: "why did you kill your father?"
baby frog: "he knew too much"

 

[The Nord]

Huy walks into a bar... Whats he say?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ouch...
Yea, i know it sucked, but hey, its a joke, and i guarauntee you'll all use it sometime or other =D

 

[Afronight_76]

i got one- a blind man walks down a street with a seeing eye dog. and before he crossed the street the dog lifts his leg and pisses all over the mans leg. then he reaches into his pocket and gets a doggie treat which then he stars to offer to the dog.
another person walks by and says "hey why are you giving him a treat? are you aware that he just pissed all over your leg?"
"well im trying to get him to break the habit"says the blind man"
"well i dont think that rewarding him with a doggie treat is going to make him stop" said the man
"oh im not rewarding him" said the blind man, "im just trying to find his head so that i can kick his ass!"

 

[Wormskull]

one fetus and one meat grinder.

the fetus trips over a rock and gets meat grinded.
then wormskull and arrives to criticize how it was unoriginal, and a lack of shading to fall into this meat grinder. LMFAO LOL!111

 

[Afronight_76]

lol, good one!

 

[Wormskull]

i can't do jokes, thats why this one comes from another website;

What's silver and red and waddles into walls?
A hungry zombie baby with forks in its eyes.

Yo mama is so dumb, she tripped over a cordless phone

Your mama''s glasses are so thick that when she lookes on a map she can see people waving

Yo mama so short, she did a suicide jump off of the curb.

Yo mama is so dumb, when her radio batteries were dead, she buried them.

wow, whoever made these jokes are so dumb.

 

[Wormskull]

A Brief Visit to the Doctor

A man and his wife went to the doctor's office and the doctor asked the man for a blood, urine, and feces sample.
The man was slightly deaf and said, ''What?''

Again, the doctor said, ''I need a blood, urine and feces sample."

The man still looked puzzled, so his wife leaned over and yelled into his ear:

''Sheldon, the doctor needs a pair of your underwear!''

 

[acolyteofdoom]

Lol, Ok since i suck at tellin jokes im gonna post one that my friend told me...

One night a little boy walked in on his parents doin "it" He said "what are you doing" they said "making fish sticks" The next night, he walked in on them again, and asked "what are you doing", and they replied "making fish sticks". Then the little boy said, "well mommy, you got some tartar sauce on your mouth" :shock:

 

[matt75]

This joke is some kind'a offensive.
Here it is:

What old people do to strengthen their body?
Answer:Exercise
Then what young people do?
Answer:SEXercise

 

[GotGunz]

My Joke

HAHAHA some of these jokez r pretty funny

Herez one:
(Itz long but funny)

Alright so a lil boy walks into a room where his parents r fighting. The dad calls the mom a bit** and the moms starts calling the dad a bastard. Later in the day the boy asks his dad what a bit** is, and his dad says itz a lady. Then he asks his mom what a bastard is, and she says itz a gentleman. Later in the night he wakes up from hearing noises. He hears his mom talk about her tits and his dad saying suck my dick. The boy then heads back to sleep. Early in the morning he asks his mom what tits r, and she says itz a coat. Then he asks his dad what a dick is, and he says itz a hat. After his parents get out of bed his dad starts shaving and his mom starts cooking a chicken. His dad cutz himself and says shit. The boy asks what shit meant, and the father says it means shaving cream. He goes down stairs and sees his mom burn herself and say fu**. The boy asks her what it means, and she says it means to cook. Soon after the door bell rings and the boy answers, "Hi, Bit**es and Bastards. Can I take your Tits and Dicks? My dad is rubbing shit all over his face and my mom is fu**ing a chicken.

HAHA :lol:

 

[GotGunz]

My Other Joke

Herez another Joke:
(Kinda long too)

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says alright but u have to play a drinking game. The guy agrees and says how do u play. The bartender says, "Alright, first, u take a drink and then burp to score a touchdown(6 pts). If you fart after u burp then u score a field goal(1 pt)." The guy says ok and they start playing. The bartender starts, he drinks, burps, then farts. Then the guy does the same, drinks, burps, then farts. They go on playing until it was a tie at 21-21. The bartender is up again so he drinks, burps, and when he was about to fart he hears the guy say field goal blocked.

HAHAHA :lol: kinda gross but still funny

 

[Anonymous]

Heres one

True Story -

Australian Police have been unable to recommend a prosecution
for the following scam:

A company takes out a newspaper advertisement claiming to be
able to supply imported hard core pornographic videos. As their
prices seem reasonable, people place orders and make payments
via check.

After several weeks, the company writes back explaining that
under the present law they are unable to supply the materials
and do not wish to be prosecuted. So they return their
customers' money in the form of a company check.

However, due to the name of the company, few people ever bother
to present these to their banks. The name of the company: 'The
Anal Sex and Fetish Perversion Company'.

 

[lorothrigs]

srry the last joke was mine I forgot to log in.

 

[Kerrigan]

doorknob

 

[strogan]

3 guys are in the desert an they see somthing shining in the sand, so they dig it up, it was a magic lamp,they rub it and out pops a genie, the genie says for realesing me i will grant you three wishes, the 3 people are transported to a plane were the genie says, when you drop off this plane shout what you want to be in your next life and it will be granted, the first guy jumps off and says "A HOT CHICK" he turns into a girl the second guy says "A DOG" turns into a dog, the third guy jumps trips and yells "COCKSUCKER" an he turns into micheal jackson ROFLROFLROFLROFL

QUICK JOKE, what to micheal jackson an mc donalds have in commond - they both stick there meat between 5 year old buns, ROFLLMFAO

 

[Kerrigan]

LOL thats so funny strogan. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[mootoobe23]

god i laughed my f***ing ass off about the one with the btiches and bastards good one

 

[Gilnit]

One guy drinks beer in bar then asks waiter:
-Is this beer or slob?
Waiter: -Can't you differ it?
Guy:-No!
waiter: -so what the differnce to you?

 

[Kerrigan]

heres one. a guy walks into a bar, where theres a 12 inch pianist playing a piano. he sits down and the guy next to him says "rub this lamp and a geine will grant you one wish". so he rubs the lamp and the geine comes out and says "what is your wish?". the guy says "i want a million bucks!" the geine waves his arm, and one million ducks appear in the bar. he asks the guy next to him "why did he give me one million ducks?" the guy next to him says "he has a hearing problem. you think i would ask for a 12 inch pianist?"

thank you, i know its crude.

 

[Vegito]

a girl walked in their parents dressignroom and saw her dad in the shower and she said "what that??" he said "its my limosine" the girl walks away eats dinner and is about to go to bed when she sees her mom in the shower. she says "what are those???" her mom says "those are my head lights and this is my garage"
she was about to go to bed when she heres the door opening she runs to her mom and says
"MOMMY MOMMY TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS AND OPEN YOUR GARAGE DADDYS LIMOSINE IS COMING IN!!!"

:lol: :lol: :lol:
funny eh???

 

[Kerrigan]

LOL thats funny, but dont tell it to any other girls or youll get smacked.

 

[mootoobe23]

This is from a website I like to visit a lot, its from "Stuff that annoys me"

When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No dicknose, I paid $9.00 to come to the theatre and stare at the frigging ceiling up there. What did you come here for?

 

[mootoobe23]

Funny pic

[/img]http://www.funnyjunk.com/p/punishkitty-jpg.html

 

[oz02]

Some of these jokes are inappropriate for younger viewers. You may post jokes on this site, but they have to be kept clean.

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