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Tell. me Your Joke
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- Joined
- Jul 17, 2011
- Messages
- 1,863
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2008
- Messages
- 7,384
Tell me your joke
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2013
- Messages
- 205
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2007
- Messages
- 4,032
-Mommy, mommy, grandpa fell off the ladder because he was swearing!
-Really? What did he say?
-"Stop shaking that fucking ladder you little shit!"
Two men are sitting in a bar on top of a skyscraper.
-Hey, did you know the turbulence is so big here that if you jump through the window, it will automatically fly you back here?
-I don't believe you, show me!
The guy stands up and jumps, but he's immediately flown back.
-Wow, I have to try this - the other guy stands up and jumps too, but he falls down and dies.
-Damn, Superman - says the bartender - you're such a jerk when you're drinking.
-Really? What did he say?
-"Stop shaking that fucking ladder you little shit!"
Two men are sitting in a bar on top of a skyscraper.
-Hey, did you know the turbulence is so big here that if you jump through the window, it will automatically fly you back here?
-I don't believe you, show me!
The guy stands up and jumps, but he's immediately flown back.
-Wow, I have to try this - the other guy stands up and jumps too, but he falls down and dies.
-Damn, Superman - says the bartender - you're such a jerk when you're drinking.
- Joined
- Jan 30, 2010
- Messages
- 547
haha I had good fun reading all these jokes...
A friend texted me this joke today, I figured I will share it here.
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks,
in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth, "Excuthe me,
mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that
he's on her level and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit,
or a thoft and fuwwy, bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"
She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her
hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice,
"I don't think my python weally givthe a thit."
A friend texted me this joke today, I figured I will share it here.
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks,
in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth, "Excuthe me,
mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that
he's on her level and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit,
or a thoft and fuwwy, bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"
She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her
hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice,
"I don't think my python weally givthe a thit."
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2004
- Messages
- 2,007
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?
Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be here all week.
Fsh!
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye deer!
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no-eye deer!
What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?
Do-you-think-he-saurus?
Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be here all week.
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2011
- Messages
- 4,121
Here are some Castlevania jokes:
Why does Dracula feels so angry with humans?
What does a vampire fear most?
Why did Jonathon Belmont's last girlfriend dump him?
Why does Dracula feels so angry with humans?
Because the one time he went out to eat in town they served him stake for dinner!
What does a vampire fear most?
Tooth decay.
Why did Jonathon Belmont's last girlfriend dump him?
His 'whip' didn't work.
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2007
- Messages
- 4,032
Ivan and Jack are arguing about whether Russia or the USA is more of a free and liberal country.
- The USA is so liberal, - starts Jack - that I could piss at the gates of the White House and no one said a thing!
- Russia is so liberal that I could take a shit near the Lenin Mausoleum and no one said a word! - answers Ivan.
Jack realizes that the lying has gone too far, so in order to sound a bit more believable, he adds:
- Of course, I did it when no one was looking.
- Yeah, I didn't pull my pants down either.
- The USA is so liberal, - starts Jack - that I could piss at the gates of the White House and no one said a thing!
- Russia is so liberal that I could take a shit near the Lenin Mausoleum and no one said a word! - answers Ivan.
Jack realizes that the lying has gone too far, so in order to sound a bit more believable, he adds:
- Of course, I did it when no one was looking.
- Yeah, I didn't pull my pants down either.
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