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Short Story Contest #6 - Survival Horror

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Another WiP
_____________________________
A Cold Night

Men and women started to dissapear from the village. On the first time, the village thought it was just a wolf attack, even though we never found the body. But the dissapearances continued. The elder chose a group of young men to investigate. There wasn't a large choice of weapons, simple farm tools, anything we thought we could have used. We 5 men started out to the forest.

It was the middle of the winter, and the winter here is horrible. The snow continuously fell, and hindered the vision. Our faces were numb and we continously had to move. Stopping meant dying. Already on the second day our strength was sapped. The weather intensified, and we were too far from the village to go back. We had to find a place to rest or we will die. One of the men saw a cave, and we went there hurriedly to escape the weather. It was much much warmer than the outside weather.
"We will rest here, and look further tomorrow" one man said.
Others murmured in agreement.

Someone shook me hard. I woke up. The man who woke me was scared. I looked around and all 4 men were scared.
"Matthew's dissapeared. I was supposed to be the next watch after him, but he didnt wake me, and when I did wake up he wasn't there."
"What! Did you look around?"
"No I just woke everyone up, the other guys are going to look for him now outside"
"He couldn't have gone out in this weather. He must have went deeper into the cave."

We looked around for another moment, but it was most likely Matthew had gone deeper inside the cave. There were no tracks whatsoever outside. Even the heavy snow would have not covered the footsteps fully. The cave was tepid and humid. A drop of water falling from a stalactite onto a body of water could be clearly heard. Where there was little light, it was almost beautiful. Bodies of water glimmering and reflecting back light. It was not noticed in the nighttime.
We lit out torches that we had made and decided to split into two.
I was followed by a young man. He seemed paranoid, and any source of noise startled him.
"Are you alright?" I asked.
"I thought it was a joke from the older men. I never believed it..."
"Don't worry, he is probably fine"
"I came because I thought it was all a joke..."
There was no point talking to him. He continued to murmur on anyway. I had to change the subject.
"You seem tired. I think you should rest here. I'll go on a bit further, and come back soon.
"O-okay"
There was no sign of Matthew. This was pointless. Further in was too dark, and the torch was about to go out. He needed the other one to get back.
 
Level 4
Joined
Feb 6, 2011
Messages
111
Another WiP
_____________________________
A Cold Night

Men and women started to dissapear from the village. On the first time, the village thought it was just a wolf attack, even though we never found the body. But the dissapearances continued. The elder chose a group of young men to investigate. There wasn't a large choice of weapons, simple farm tools, anything we thought we could have used. We 5 men started out to the forest.

It was the middle of the winter, and the winter here is horrible. The snow continuously fell, and hindered the vision. Our faces were numb and we continously had to move. Stopping meant dying. Already on the second day our strength was sapped. The weather intensified, and we were too far from the village to go back. We had to find a place to rest or we will die. One of the men saw a cave, and we went there hurriedly to escape the weather. It was much much warmer than the outside weather.
"We will rest here, and look further tomorrow" one man said.
Others murmured in agreement.

Someone shook me hard. I woke up. The man who woke me was scared. I looked around and all 4 men were scared.
"Matthew's dissapeared. I was supposed to be the next watch after him, but he didnt wake me, and when I did wake up he wasn't there."
"What! Did you look around?"
"No I just woke everyone up, the other guys are going to look for him now outside"
"He couldn't have gone out in this weather. He must have went deeper into the cave."

We looked around for another moment, but it was most likely Matthew had gone deeper inside the cave. There were no tracks whatsoever outside. Even the heavy snow would have not covered the footsteps fully. The cave was tepid and humid. A drop of water falling from a stalactite onto a body of water could be clearly heard. Where there was little light, it was almost beautiful. Bodies of water glimmering and reflecting back light. It was not noticed in the nighttime.
We lit out torches that we had made and decided to split into two.
I was followed by a young man. He seemed paranoid, and any source of noise startled him.
"Are you alright?" I asked.
"I thought it was a joke from the older men. I never believed it..."
"Don't worry, he is probably fine"
"I came because I thought it was all a joke..."
There was no point talking to him. He continued to murmur on anyway. I had to change the subject.
"You seem tired. I think you should rest here. I'll go on a bit further, and come back soon.
"O-okay"
There was no sign of Matthew. This was pointless. Further in was too dark, and the torch was about to go out. He needed the other one to get back.

Try using this for your story
[hidden=(title of hidden)](The story)[/hidden]
But overall its pretty neat and very realistic.
 
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Level 11
Joined
May 17, 2010
Messages
389
I decided to change my story. Got bored with the zombies.


It was a cold and quiet night, I was looking out from my open window. I was in my room doing research as usual. A strong gust of wind blew and slammed the window shut. There was a storm coming. It was also late so I started fixing my things, Shut the lights off and slept. After a few hours, My clock started alarming. My alarm clock is set to 6:30 AM; I have to wake up early the next morning because of my schedule. It was strange because it rang at 3:00 in the morning. I got off my bed, Turned the lights on and took a peek outside from the window, It was still pitch black. My eyes were still heavy for it was still too early. I approached my door and started turning the knob. I noticed that the door was locked. It was strange because I don’t remember locking my door before I slept, Neither can it be locked from the outside. I started banging the door, It just won’t budge! I stepped back and charged towards the door, It still had no effect. I tried to scream but there wasn’t any voice coming out. I held on my throat as I tried to scream, But still nothing. I started panicking, I felt my heart beating like it was about to burst in my chest. As I looked up, I was stricken with fear, Blood began dripping from the ceiling. Slowly, The horror unraveled, The walls of my room deteriorated. Before I knew, I was already in a corner. I was shivering and I’ve felt that I was about to lose consciousness. Before I collapsed, I saw several distorted images in front of me.

I was awakened by a continuous ringing noise; It was my alarm clock. When I looked at it, It was already 6:30 AM. I laid on my bed wondering, It was just a bad dream after all. All the fear that I have felt suddenly vanished. I gladly hurried downstairs and started making breakfast. “Maybe it was just too much stress.” I said to myself. I made a bacon and tuna sandwich, I knew this wouldn’t fill my stomach so I decided to make another batch. After I have finished eating all those bacon and tuna sandwiches, I took my towel and headed for the bathroom. I filled the bathtub with water and dipped my finger in it. As I take a look at the water, I saw a glimpse of a strange dark figure. I quickly pulled my finger away and rubbed my eyes. I decided to take another peek and there was nothing. Realizing there was nothing in the water, I began to blame it on my imagination. After a few more minutes, I decided to take my bath.

The water was very cold, I was hardly able to put shampoo all over my hair due to the fact that I was shivering uncontrollably. Soon after, I went up and got dressed inside my room. It was time to go. I went back down and headed outside. When I was opening the door, I noticed a small enveloped letter. I opened it and read it. The letter was blank and I was confused for a little while. “This must be another prank from one of the neighbors.” I said as I went outside. I rode my bike towards downtown. My first stop was the post office, I had to pick up a small package and bring it to my parents. I passed an old bakery and saw a stray dog. The dog stared at me for a long period of time until I got very far away. It was just weird to see an animal stare at you without any reason. I ignored it and continued towards my destination.
 
Level 18
Joined
Aug 23, 2008
Messages
2,319
@darkdeathknight:
There are a few grammar problems in your story (We lit out(=our) torches that we had made and decided to split into two. and We had to find a place to rest or we will(=would, because if 1 part of a sentence is written in past time, all must be written in past time) die.), but the story itself seems to have potential.

@-HellBreed-
Almost the same advice. The main thing you have to remember is that a word after a comma doesn't start with a capital letter (except for I). The story looks nice as well and I'm glad you left zombie-land behind :p


Best of luck to the both of you :D
 
Level 11
Joined
May 17, 2010
Messages
389
@darkdeathknight:
There are a few grammar problems in your story (We lit out(=our) torches that we had made and decided to split into two. and We had to find a place to rest or we will(=would, because if 1 part of a sentence is written in past time, all must be written in past time) die.), but the story itself seems to have potential.

@-HellBreed-
Almost the same advice. The main thing you have to remember is that a word after a comma doesn't start with a capital letter (except for I). The story looks nice as well and I'm glad you left zombie-land behind :p


Best of luck to the both of you :D

Yeah. lol. I'm tired of laughing about killing my zombie mom over and over again. Thanks and good luck to you too. :)
 
Level 12
Joined
Mar 18, 2008
Messages
865
A Vampire's Tale

Ah, how life was sweet, to breathe, to eat, to feel. Centuries have passed since I last performed any of these actions. The track of time was beginning to abandon me...

I once existed among the living, a long time ago, in a corrupt village like no other. A large portion of the population were either drunkards, thieves, or whores. The militia brutally attacked anyone of annoyance in their way, except us, for we were of high class... and value. My father used to "tip" the Militia Captain every now and then in return for "keeping us out of trouble". I, similar to my family, enjoyed the powers nobility had to offer for a young dashing woman.

Disturbances surfaced as time passed mainly because of the increasing amount of strangers and dark figures crossing the borders into the country. One night, as I was strolling back home from the local theater, an unlikely image caught my eye. A man, fully dressed in black, was kneeling over a dead hound's corpse. His hand rose from the fallen body to somewhere on his face, or so I presumed. --
 
“I’m sorry.” The voice slid through my ears. It was toneless and genderless – artificial. The two
words stuttered out. “You should have been logged with our registry. But we have no Tom Dent.”

The clerk’s eyes were mahogany orbs, peering into my mind, nearly dissecting flesh with surgical
precision.

The curtain of sleep receded quicker than my. The memories of the people I become never unfold single
file, never presenting themselves. They are always encased deep in the neurons of the mind, awaiting a
probe or stimulus to spark a response. Emotions come soon, after the images replay through my mind.
Then emotions assaulted me, planting deep roots – the foremost feeling was regret, screaming to me
of rejection, abandonment and betrayal. I pried open my eyes, hoping to distract myself from the past’s
baggage. Specks of grit lined the rims, intermingling with a blade of tears that had accumulated in the
past hour. Vision was blurred a pale grey. My new body was a bulky one – more bone and tissue, sucking
air faster than the vessel I had been given last time. Curious. I was met with numbness as I tried to
wiggle the toes. From past experience I know waking up the first time is the most challenging part, when
most of the newbies are pawned.

In my experience, the first hour always hurts the most. It has to do with the regret, the menagerie of
feelings that scream of rejection, abandonment and betrayal. The rookies can lose it at this early stage
in the game, when every tangible thing is encouraging that you The cold breathed against my body,
squatting and sneering over my brow. A spasm swept my heart as I conjured foolish worries, mind
diluted by lingering dreams. The therma-pad under my spine had not switched off in the night. I was
grateful as flecks of warmth rose through my chest and limbs, rallying against the bitter jarring of the air.
I felt hollow and emaciated, violated to the bone by the frigid ooze around me, life’s energy drained and
replaced with a web of dull nerves. Just a central processing unit linked to a jumble of pain receptors.
In sixteen days the morning temperature hadn’t risen above minus twenty Celsius. The research ward
threatened to be a freezer at times. The manager signed off heaters and insulating strips as overpriced.

Not impressed with it.
Gonna do some reformatting, edit sections, do a plot overhaul, and revamp alot of paragraphs.
 
Level 7
Joined
Jun 16, 2008
Messages
253
Work In Progress

Woah! This looks fun! :D I don't think I've ever done a short story comp before!

Horror isn't really my fave kinda story, but hey, at the risk of my tender, fragile soul, I'll dive into it facefirst! (Note: this technique doesn't work so well at the skate-park. :D)

Here's my WiP intro. Nuff poo said. (What's the point of the WiP thingy anyway, is it to make sure we're not just copy-pasting a story we've already written or something? Oh wellz, it's fine with me. XD.)


Static.

It burned and taunted, as it weaved in a mono-chromatic flicker of malice and sourceless lust, the heat of it pressed close to my face, so that I could almost hear the whiskers on my cheek burning at the touch, and yet I felt its touch like ice.

“Sadie?” I whispered, the breath of my voice scratching tentatively against that vast wall.

It was all I could see. That goddamn static. There was no mercy in it, no mercy in the soul of death, a death that held neither life nor un-death, yet somehow it lived nonetheless. For if one thing is a twin opposite to another, by what means does one distinguish between the two?

We did this. We gave death a soul.

I drew in on myself, hardly daring to lift my eyes as I searched in that endless oblivion. I searched, blindly, with that feral curl of doubt and horror lurking in the bowels of my intestines, champing uncomfortably at my guts.

“Daddyy?” I heard the tremulous cry, and I squeezed my eyes, hot with tears of relief as I heard that frightened voice.

“Sadie? Honey, is that you? Where are you?” I cried out, my eyes burned and wept as motes of light and darkness danced inside my retinas like malicious ghosts, plucking and scratching, even behind closed eyes.

Please be okay, please be okay...

“I’m here, daddy...” Her voice was so distant, so ominously quiet, and I instantly knew something was wrong. Then I saw her. Her silhouette huddled up against one corner, limp and sad.

“Sadie, honey... “ it happened, my voice broke on me, and I rushed to her, waving away the fireflies that swarmed around me like demons.

“Oh my god... oh my god, Sadie, sweetheart, what have they done to you?” I sobbed against my greatest efforts, as the walls came crumbling down, and the world squeezed tight around us. I threw my arms around her unresponsive body and pressed her close, I didn’t have the strength to look into those ruined eyes. She whimpered without words into my shoulder, as I stroked that beautiful spill of golden hair, her mother’s hair, and whispered words back to her, rocking her back and forth as I comforted her, like it was an ordinary hurt, like a graze or the loss of a toy; that could be banished with time and love. But it wasn’t. It would never leave her.

If this is the price of our salvation, I’d rather be damned.

“I’m asleep daddy, I’m asleep...” she mumbled, and I nodded to her, trying to soothe her as we both shivered without reason.

“Is it over, daddy?” she asked, and my heart broke. She was so frightened, so frightened, I wish I could tell her that it all was a dream... but I couldn’t. I couldn’t lie to her.

Against all reason, a cold wind suddenly rose from the ground like a disturbed spirit, and it carried a cacophony of distant wails that were neither human nor animal, the darkness whispering with dry scratching sounds that echoed through the steel corridors, like nails against paper. It was as if an army of damned had suddenly awoken all at once, and hungered for the living. If only that was all it was. At the terrifying sound, Sadie clutched at me with all her might, burying her face into my shoulder. Her face. No-one deserved such horror, least of all a child.

“I’m sorry, Sadie. It’s not over yet. Not yet.” I didn’t know what else to say, what else could I say? How could I explain this horror to a child? I didn’t know if even I understood it.

Damn you, she’s only six years old! My vindictiveness was wasted... there was no other power to be blamed here. Man and man alone, was the progenitor of his own horror.

There was a long silence broken only by the sounds of weeping, and the devil that played that haunting melody of sorrow and fear on aching strings in our hearts.

Finally, she whispered to me, as lightly as the breeze the soul makes as it passes from the body.

“Tell me a story, daddy. Tell me a story, please.”

I tensed, and then relaxed in one fluid moment, and I drew up my knees beside her, and began to talk to her, quietly, soothingly. As the static drew tight around us, suffocating us in its cocoon, I told her a story...

* * *


Hey, so is there a format for this doohickey? Do we post as above in 'hiddens', or submit a word document or doth it matter not? :goblin_good_job:

By the way, some awesome writage going on dudes! Case and point: 'The World is Flat' - I'm loving the prose, dude! (Or whatever it's called.)

And how the fiddle do you format it more compactly? Can you do it without excessive 'enter' stroking? I just feel it's morally worng. :D

Also, could you fellers be totally awesome and tell me if it sounds like my story is a zombie situation? Because it's not REALLY supposed to sound like that. Just to give me a headsup for when I edit? XD Would appreciato it! :D
 
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Level 12
Joined
Jul 7, 2009
Messages
1,030
Well, this is my first competition I'm entering and I'm pretty excited.
But I've got a question.

Is narrating from a third person point of view allowed in this competition? Or does it have to be from a first person view.

Example:
The beast entrenched Arcisal within the earth, trapping him from himself and the Light.
"The abomination rammed into me from behind and caught me of guard. Before I could do anything, I was already within the muddy soil, trapped and entangled while continuously being pounded deeper and deeper into darkness..."
 
Level 16
Joined
Oct 17, 2009
Messages
1,580
2nd WIP
I went down the stairs and turned right to my kitchen. I opened the food drawer and was frustrated to see that there was only one can of food left, and it was sardines.
"Why did I even buy this crap."
I shuffled through the drawers in search of food but found nothing but a dead cockroach. I sighed, took the can and cooked it trying not to think about the taste. Slowly, I ate it and slowly the taste worsens. After eating I sat there for a few minutes thinking what to do next. The food is gone, there is barely any water left and my clothes started to stink.
"I have to get out of here"

I stood up and went upstairs to my bedroom, put on socks and shoes, took a jacket from the closet and my bow and arrows behind my bedroom door. I took another glimpse through the window and saw that they were still there fighting over whatever it was.
"damn it! How am I supposed to... Wait! Maybe I can go through the forest" I said as I ran towards the window on the second room.
I peeked through a small hole on the boarded-up window and saw that nothing is on my backyard also in the forest. I ran down the stairs and to the back door. I stood there for a moment and slowly reached out my hand stopping inches away from the door knob, breathed deeply and said,
" Here goes nothing"
I grabbed the door knob, pushed open the door and ran outside.
 
Level 12
Joined
Jul 7, 2009
Messages
1,030
My first WIP

Station 21 is an engineering marvel of the 24th century. Within orbit since 2256, that’s over 71 years and counting. The mastermind and ideologist of this latest and most awesome wonder of the world, Doctor Klein Varen, a brilliant man of mental proportions and at the same time, a kindly old man with a fragile but compassionate soul. Developing the majority of today’s machines from brilliant supermarvels to ingenious everyday household items, Doctor Klein Varen is a man who deserves every right to receive this award. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to Doctor Klein Varen the next Nobe—
“Why’d you turn it off,” asked Gamot irritably, “I was listening to that.”

“Because he was the cause of all this!” shouted Fhratch angrily. Fhratch was always known for his faring rages and hot temper. “If it wasn’t for him, half our platoon wouldn’t be skewered to pieces by those oversized bugs out there!”

“Shut up. Both of you. I don’t want to attract anymore attention. We’ve already got too much in our hands anyways. Where the hell are they?” said Aix dangerously. His blunt but strong features shone in the moonlight which fell at the same time at the massive power rifle he was leaning against. Aix was a gunner, and a damn good one he was too. “Drake and Boenn should’ve be back an hour.”

“Maybe something’s happen to them. Maybe they got caught.” said Pax. His dreamy voice and teenage features are only mere estimations to what might seem as the sniper he was. At a young age, Pax was raised as a sniper by his father. He inherited what snipers call “The X Factor” from his father. Talent with the gun had already surfaced at the age of twelve and Pax became a world class sniper at the age of seventeen. Nobody crosses Pax. He was one of those people who got the respect out of everyone naturally. No words were needed to show his authority around us.

“Impossible.” replied Aix. “How is it bloody possible? We’ve already sealed what remaining doors we could find. And I made sure they didn’t exit the safety zone. You would have to be a real id—“ He was cut short.

Drake and Boenn returned. As I saw them heading my direction, I noticed something about the larger of the two, probably Boenn. He was limping, but very slightly. I guessed from the look on Drake’s face that something had gone wrong, terribly wrong.

In total, there were seven of us. Myself, Aix our commanding officer, Pax, Gamot, Fhratch, Drake and Boenn. We were what’s left of Battalion Charlie, sent to investigate a freak incident on Station 21.


Instead of the usual zombie senario, I decided to use a mixture between Starcraft and Tyranids. Hope you like it. 447 word so far.
 
Level 17
Joined
Nov 11, 2010
Messages
1,974
First WIP.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
Alive.
I'm still alive. Alive to feel the torturous pains of despair once more as the broken ticking clock drew my glare. I rise to my feet, glaring at an old photo against the wall. "What's happened has happened.." My mind repeated the message over and over. This madness has to cease.

I descend towards the city, where life has evaporated. This city used to be beautiful, rich and thriving with expense.. but no longer. Since the day of the Leviathan, hope will never be grasped in man's hand. Further I wandered through-out the city, hunting for a survivor to linger to.

"Maybe just maybe, if I found someone.. then maybe there will be hope."

Continuing to wander, I stop. Odd noises began to screech from multiple sides of the city. I run.

 
Level 4
Joined
Feb 6, 2011
Messages
111
WIP
http://www.mediafire.com/?74p6xhhgx7g58gx

Anything wrong please feel free to correct it for me.
 
Level 36
Joined
Nov 24, 2007
Messages
4,382
Right, posting a WIP since everyone is doing it.

Everything of it is subject of change.

Wickedly twisted screams came from behind us while I and the group gathered at the obelisk in the middle of St. Peters Square. As the menial sounds got closer, we all readied our weaponry and gazed into the mist, it was night and we could barely see anything more than five feet into the fog. The situation was tense; I could feel hot blood pumping in my ears, and an unwelcoming chill work its way down my spine. Then, all of a sudden, Zneer a large brute of a Frenchman, shot off a flare, lighting up the entire square and revealing the abominable nature of twenty creature-like men. Naming themselves followers of singularity and strength these creatures of men let psychopathic doctors and scientists work their magic on their bodies, yet in the end their nothing but lonesome good for nothing Satanists. One of the mutants grinned, flashing a mouth filled with long, dark, blood stained pointy teeth looking to be able to rip flesh apart in a matter of seconds. Then they all charged, all at once, and what followed were screams, shots, swordplay and utter chaos.
 
Level 10
Joined
Sep 29, 2007
Messages
455
First WIP, in an extreme WIP state. The setting is a small town in the victorian era.


The screams pierced my ears. I quickly ran to it's source. When I got there, Axel and Miranda were dead. There was blood all over the place, and the killer was nearby, I could feel him, whoever he was. I was probably the last living being in this gruesome house of horror. I would join the others soon...

To understand my story, I have to take you back, three days ago. My name is Roland Beaulieu and I'm a private detective. One day, a man came in my office, visibly distraught.
"Mister Beaulieu! You have to come quickly!"
"Wait, wait.. What's wrong? What happened?"
"I found my brother dead in his own bed this morning... his chest is split open, and me and the rest of my family is afraid that there might be a killer in our house."
This seemed to be quite an opportunity, so I went along with him. The scene of the crime was an old mansion in the countryside. Very remote. When we got there, the police were all over the place and the whole family was in the living room...


I have no idea how to use spoiler tags. Sorry. Thankfully, Avator was kind enough to show me D:.
 
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Level 7
Joined
Jan 9, 2010
Messages
339
just asking: does a storyline that revolves around "renegade robots that go psycho for no reason and starts killing all humans in sight" qualify for this contest?
 
Level 14
Joined
Jan 5, 2009
Messages
1,127
Eh I might join this:
Aboard a Ride to Hell
As I strode down the dark corridor with flashing broken lights and bloody dead bodies spread across the floor, I try not to trip on the arms or I will alert the things that did this to these people. The corridor seems to go on forever... The beasts roars in the neighboring corridors echo to my ears, it is mixed with the screams of the dying people who have fallen prey to them. My leg pulses with pain as the roars echo back and forth through the corridor. But I'm alive and surviving and I am grateful for that. I lean down to one of the dead bodies, I hold onto the one of the rails that are attach to the corridor wall, I cover myself with the blood of the dead to mask my scent. The smell of the blood clogs my nostrils and hopefully the beasts aswell

Edit: Adding Stuff
 
Level 9
Joined
Aug 23, 2007
Messages
465
I know I haven't actually said I'd join but I am and, well, here's my WIP as well ^^.

Alright, I know it's not really sounding survival horror-y, but my approach is more story driven, and yes it will still fit the genre. I mean hey, the word limit is 10,000 ^^'

Current Word Count : 1,226

The old piping in the house banging into life was what forced me awake. I found myself surprised that it wasn’t the bright orange sunlight pouring in through the open window on the opposite side of the room. I rolled from my bed, glaring at the old wooden floor which covered the copper pipes beneath my feet. They rattled and banged against each other as if in response. I lifted my foot and brought it down hard on the floor, grunting at the pipes.

“Al?” The voice belonged to my brother Erick who was most likely cooking breakfast from the smell and sound of it, burning it as well. I slowly lifted myself to my feet and began wandering towards the brightly lit room just down the hall from my own. Entering I look around to see Erick, my girlfriend Rachael, and Erick’s friend Thomas. Rachael sat with a steaming cup of coffee next to her as she read the Sunday comics, last Sunday’s comics, and Thomas was standing at the far end of the room, his hands clasped behind his back, staring out the window into the forest.

“Managing to cook breakfast there Erick?” I said after laughing as he tossed another ruined piece of toast into the garbage. I slid into the seat next to Rachael and gave her a peck on the cheek which she barely noticed.

“Getting there,” Erick said grumbling to himself. I took hold of Rachael’s coffee and took a few sips. It was full of cream and sugar, making it taste much less like coffee and more like a cup of sweetened milk, the bitterness only showing through after the sugar evaporated. I set it back down making a face at Rachael who rolled her eyes and ruffled the paper.

“Hey Tom,” I said, turning around, “we catch anything in the traps last night?” Thomas stood motionless for a moment before finally relaxing and turning around. His brown hair which was normally in a pony tail now hung loosely around his face, reaching easily to his shoulders. His rimless glasses sat perched on the end of his nose, he reached up and pushed them snug with his face.

“Not a thing,” Thomas said with a sigh. “None of the bait was touched and the traps were all empty. Nothing must have come near the areas were checked out yesterday. Maybe our scent was to strong still and they didn’t want to risk it.” I shook my head.

“We didn’t leave our scent on anything and even the traps should have had it fade over night.” I found myself scowling at the floor in frustration again.

We had come out to my grand-dads cabin to find out what it was like to live in the old days, and to get a little time away from our bustling lives back in the city. My brother had been an outdoorsman all of his life but the rest of us knew only what we’d read in books and online. We’d all been camping plenty of times but Erick was the one who taught us all how to set traps, scout for tracks and other animal markings, and how to fire weapons which we’d done back at the firing ranges outside of the city.

After ten more minutes of sitting patiently, talking with the others, Erick finally turned around with plates of eggs, potatoes, and deer meat from the stock we’d brought with us. We ate in relative silence, commenting only on what we could do for the day or why the traps had been empty.

We were using the classic bear traps with the big iron jaws that snapped shut when something stepped in the middle of the pressure plate. We also had squirrel and other vermin traps which were small, one way traps with bait.

“When was the last time you were out here Erick?” I asked as we finished up with breakfast. Erick stood by the sink rinsing the plates off and scrubbing them with a wet rag.

“Hell nearly five years now I think.”

“Do you remember how the hunting was last time you were out here?” Erick stopped washing for a minute and stared out the small window in front of the sink.

“Actually, when I came out here was with Dad. I asked him if we were hunting and he said no. I had asked him why and he wouldn’t tell me. Just said that the game was really bad out here and didn’t taste too good.” Erick set the plate down he was washing and turned to lean against the counter.
“Come to think of it, I don’t remember ever coming out here to hunt even when I was younger. Dad always just said hunting was no good out here.”

Thomas gave a short sarcastic laugh. “So we came out here to hunt and live off the land and you had forgotten that your Dad had told you before that the hunting was no good out here?”

“Well every time I was here I always saw animals. Deer, elk, even a few bear. There was always lots of game but he always said no.” We all looked back and forth at one another. “How bout we head out today. All of us. We can just go out with the guns and look for game instead of waiting for these traps to catch something for us.” Thomas nodded in agreement and a big grin spread across his face.

“Well get the guns out, we can head out now before midday.” Tom and Erick both left the kitchen to get the guns and gear out while Rachael and I sat in the kitchen. I looked over at Rachael who hadn’t said much all morning.

“What’s going on babe?” I asked as I started to get up from my chair. She remained in her chair. Her wavy light brown hair tumbled down a little lower than her shoulders. She looked up at me with her green blue eyes, only one visible while the other was hidden through strands of hair.

“We’ve only been here two nights now Al and each night has been the same thing.” I learned back down in front of her and held her hand.

“The fog and the sounds,” I said, guessing at what she meant.

“Ya,” she said, looking away from me. “It slowly rolled in last night and stayed a little out of reach from the cabin. After the fog was dense enough that I could barely make out the trees; that was when the calls started.” I looked at her, watching the worry pass over her face even though she tried to hide it.

“Was it the low grumbling sound you said you heard the other night? Like a foghorn but more high pitched?” She nodded, looking back at me, pushing the hair from her left eye. “I still think it’s just the elk babe. They are out there, and they’re probably smart enough to not fall into a bear trap. Rachael closed her eyes and sighed.

“Ya you’re probably right.” I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers.
“Come on,” I said pulling away and kissing her again on her forehead. “Let’s go get our stuff ready before Tom and Erick start bitching.” Rachael smiled and her faced lightened a bit.
 
Level 10
Joined
Sep 29, 2007
Messages
455
WIP #2

The horrified screams pierced my ears. I quickly surmised that they were coming from the master bedroom and ran there in a heartbeat. When I cautiously entered the room, I beheld a gruesome sight: Axel and Miranda were dead. Axel’s chest had been split open, and Miranda was lying face down in a pool of blood. I wasn’t sure who’s blood it was. However, I could feel the eerie chill of death nearby. The killer was close, and he was after me again…

To understand my story, I have to take you back, three days ago. My name is Roland Beaulieu and I'm a private detective. I specialize in murders. I’ve had a nose for these things ever since I was a little child. I could feel death. One faithful day, a man came into my office, visibly panicked and distraught.
"Mister Beaulieu! You have to come quickly!"
"Wait, wait.. What's wrong? What happened?"
"I found my brother dead in his own bed this morning... his chest is split open, and our family is afraid that there might be a killer in our house."
This seemed to be quite an opportunity, so I went along with him. The scene of the crime was an old mansion in the sunny countryside. Very remote. When we got there, the police were all over the place and the whole family was in the living room. Axel, the man who came to me, kindly introduced me to the rest of the family.
“Allow me to introduce you to the family. This is Samantha, my sister.” Samantha was a charming young lady with curly ebony hair gently flowing on her slim shoulders. She had mesmerizing brown eyes and a slightly pale complexion, but I just assumed that was from the shock of finding her dead sibling.
“This is Miranda, my fiancée.” Miranda seemed to lack Samantha’s noble features. She had straight blonde hair, up to her shoulders. Her face was rather washed up, but she was fairly attractive.
“And this is my father, Jackson.” A tall man in his early 60s. He had short silvery hair and a kind look on his face. He was however, visibly in pain over the loss of his youngest son.
“This dashing young man is Mark, my brother’s best friend. He’s practically family.” Mark was indeed very dashing and handsome. Needless to say, like the others, he was crushed by the tragic loss.
“And last, but not least…”
“Oh, Axel, you know better than to used that washed up cliché.”
“I am truly sorry, dear cousin. Anyway, this is my cousin, Annette.”
“A pleasure, mister Beaulieu. Oh, you look surprised that I know your name. I live past the street from your office.” To be honest, I faintly recognized her, but I never actually met the talkative young lady. She was fairly pretty and was very assertive.


I improved the introduction and felt the need to introduce every family member, because all of them will be pretty central characters in my plot.
 
Level 14
Joined
Jan 5, 2009
Messages
1,127
Wip #2.

Aboard a Ride to Hell
As I strode down the dark corridor with flashing broken lights and bloody dead bodies spread across the floor, I try not to trip on the arms or I will alert the things that did this to these people. The corridor seems to go on forever... The beast’s roars in the neighboring corridors echo to my ears, it is mixed with the screams of the dying people who have fallen prey to them. My leg pulses with pain as the roars echo back and forth through the corridor. But I'm alive and surviving and I am grateful for that. I lean down to one of the dead bodies, I hold onto the one of the rails that is attached to the corridor wall, I cover myself with the blood of the dead to mask my scent. The smell of the blood clogs my nostrils and hopefully the beasts as well. I stand up and look down the corridor and I see a metal door with a small console screen beside it.

I walk at a slow pace to the console again not trying to trip on one of the arms or legs of the bodies that lay across the floor. I finally reach it and I am in luck, it isn’t broken. It blurts a message onto the screen saying ‘Name: >>’. It then pops out a keyboard and I start to type ‘Eric Noven’. Its screen begins to flicker slightly as it searches its databanks. The text disappears but is replaced by a different message ‘Password: >>’, I begin to enter ‘00EAF82’. It flickers again, it processing the data to see if I had entered the wrong password. It takes awhile and the beasts begin to roar again, the console soon displays ‘Password Correct’ and the metal door opens. Inside is a small room, I bring out my Locator device, it displays ‘Elevator 82A’.
 
Level 9
Joined
Jan 23, 2008
Messages
310
Tried to make something like this too. First time in my practice, tell me if i should continue or not. English is not my native. Sorry if you get bored. Suggestions, Opinions?



Chapter 1: A laugh in a sea of sadness.


I always liked the smell of night. It smells like silence, like harmony.
My name is Ann McGuire, a girl born during the times of the moon’s second eclipse, in a destroyed chapel. My mom died that night, and left me all alone in the darkness, maybe that’s why it is so attracting; it reminds me of her. People say a black-hooded man, took me to the Saint Luther’s Monastery, and left me there, with a note saying Ann. Father John, a tall man with long and slender legs, short neck, long arms, raven black hair, jade green eyes, a scar on his lower lip, a small nose lifted a bit up in the wind, yes, a beautiful man. He was my teacher and my father. The only person my essence could be shared with, the only trusted person. Father John taught me how to read, and write but not to speak, he always said God keeps my voice for himself, because the Angel’s voice cannot be heard on Earth. Yes I was born dumb. At my 8th birthday, Father John took me to the market, and showed me the world outside the monastery. A miracle, overcrowded market streets, the largest variety of smells and tastes, lots of different colors. My thirst for exploration began that day; something always pulled me out, to the unexplored. But as father John said, everything will have it’s time. The mad, blinded by pain King, pretending God was guilty for his daughter’s death, ordered immediate destruction of all the holy places. Armored soldiers with shiny swords and swift horses came the next day. Father John took my hand and we rushed out, to the exit. The soldiers set the Monastery aflame and began killing every monk they saw in their way. As we sneaked to the gate, Father John was hit by an arrow. His left foot was bleeding and he felt down on the grass; my efforts to pull him off the ground were unsuccessful. Suddenly an arrow flew near my ear, hitting it slightly. My legs took me to the exit leaving my father behind; my eyes were looking back, at my father and saw a soldier stabbing his chest. He was dead. The sounds of fire and the smell of death were becoming weaker and weaker as my eyes began to see the forest. After some good hours of running, a big wooden house appeared at the line which the sky and earth seemed to meet, the sun had already risen, and the dew pouring down from the leaves was shining like little stars. My feet took me to the house’s door, and my hands knocked slightly two times. A huge muscled man opened the door, and saw me, a small, dirty, exhausted girl. “What do you want?” He asked; his voice was like the sound of ten thunders at the same time. My head became so heavy, my eyes got stuck into the ground and in a few seconds my body felt down, on the cold floor, my eye lips were closing gently watching with a blurry tone the man’s clean leather shoes.
 
Last edited:
My second WIP! I love how my story's growing. :D

1,429 words, babeh. :3
Chapter 1 - Unforeseen Events
"Beep! Beep! Beep!"
My cellphone's alarm was on, and as usual, I was late for school. My haggard eyes open up to a beautiful sunrise; and chirping birds on the roof. I was there, lying on my bed with a blanket covering half of my body, and trying to get the strength to get up. I groaned, and jumped right off my bed. From there, I sensed something a little bit... off with this day. Ignoring my sense, I walked over to my cabinet to prepare to take a shower. As I took a shower, I heard weird bumping sounds on the outside of the bathroom wall. Once again, I ignored it and went on with my day. Realizing that the school bus had already left me behind, I reached for my bag and set it on the couch. My parents already went off to work, and I was all alone in the house. I grabbed my jacket, brushed my teeth and reached for my bag and ran out into the garage, taking my bike and pedaling as fast as I can to school. "I haven't biked this fast in a while; I hope my laziness doesn't kick in here.” I said to myself as I was biking down the street. As I took a right turn to Meltor Street, I saw two cars in the distance. School was just about three more blocks away, so I started to slow down a bit to be able to have the energy to keep pedaling until school. As I crossed the intersection, I didn't notice the two cars colliding right behind me. The shockwave knocked my off my bike, and uncontrollably sent my bike to crash into a small patch of shrubs. I landed not too far from the accident, only scraping my knee and giving myself a slight pain on my back. I stood up, scraped dust off my uniform, and checked both cars to see if the drivers were alive. Upon looking at the driver's seat of both cars; I could see blood splattered all over the scene. Their faces were flattened from the windshield, and shards of glass were stuck all over their bodies. This horrendous sight made me vomit on the street. After the accident, I ran over to my bike and pedaled as fast as I can to school. The adrenaline rush in me made me sweat all over my body. After arriving at school and locking my bike to one of the chains, I walked over to my class. Along the hallway, I met the Willy, the school's janitor. "Hello, Jess. You're late again. It's Monday, too.” the janitor said. "Yeah, I’m very sorry Willy. I hope I won't be late tomorrow, the Student Elections are tomorrow.” I replied. "Okay, Jess. Hurry up before the prefects catch you.” Willy advised. "I'll be off now, thanks.” I said as I bid my farewell. Step after step, I remembered the horrifying sight of the two drivers. It made me feel sick. Later, I reached Biology Room 103. Upon opening the door, I could smell blood in the air. As I looked on the specimen tables, I could see the two victims of the car accident on two separate tables, and several other bodies on different tables. As I looked at one of the bodies that looked like Luke, my best friend, I saw a silhouette of what seemed to be a large otherworldly demonic creature. Seeing this, the silhouette turned its head to face me, chanted a few words and I immediately felt drowsy, making me slowly drop to the floor.

Chapter 2 - The Dream
"Jess... Jess..."
A strange voice called out. The voice sounded like a ghost; frightening chills that sound like gasps of air. When I opened my drowsy eyes and took a look around, I saw a bloody ceiling. I stood up, and saw the bodies still on the examination tables. Nauseated from the smell of the dead bodies, I took a quick look around the room and found out the demonic silhouette was no longer there. I immediately left the room and look all around the hallway. I saw blood spilled all over the walls and the tiles. I saw dead bodies scattered around the hallway. I saw trash and open lockers all over the long corridor. Taking step after step, I felt an inner fear growing within me; the type of fear that could leave you traumatized for months; the type that needed medical attention. The bodies were brutally slaughtered, with organs all over the bloody floor. Not being able to take the horrible sight, I raced out of the school campus as fast as I could. Removing my bike from its chains, the fastest thing that popped into my mind was, 'Meltor Street...' I started pedaling towards Meltor street, and saw a reddish sky, deserted streets and the nauseating smell of rotting corpses and blood. As I reached Meltor Street, I saw the same demonic silhouette eating from a corpse's torso. I stopped and slid, but stayed on my bike. The figure heard my bike wheels skid on the asphalt road and turned its face to face me. It had glowing, bloodshot eyes, shard, vicious horns and an extremely buff physique. It stood up and charged towards me, grabbing my neck and making me lie down on the rough road. As his other hand was pinning my neck to the rough, rocky surface of the road, he raised his other hand to claw me. Before his claw was able to reach my cheek, I opened my eyes; and noticed my face was all wet. I raised the top half of my body and took a look around. I saw Luke, holding a bucket of water. "Hey, Jess! What happened to you? You were tossing and turning on the bed. It made me so worried that I used the last resort on waking you up, which was throwing a bucket of water right to your face." Luke said. "Pass me that towel over there." I said as I shook myself awake. "Do you know anything about what I was dreaming about? Any hints?" I asked. Luke answered, "I'm sorry, but you were muttering strange words. After a few minutes of chanting, you stopped and you were moving around vigorously. That's when I woke you up." "Fine, come and sleep over. Let's see what happens to me tonight." I said. "Alright, but I'll ask permission from my mom first. You go on ahead to your house. I'll follow." Luke said. After that conversation, we left school and we took Meltor Street as a shortcut back to our homes. The accident was still being cleared up by the police, and I heard one of the forensic experts that this event had something to do with the unexplained forces of the world. This left me wondering; "What could possibly cause this accident?" Later, we passed by Luke's and I went on ahead to my house. Once arriving home, I went over to my bedroom and thought all about the events that happened earlier today. After a few hours of waiting, I fell asleep.

Chapter 3 - The First Strike
"Beep! Beep! Beep!"
My cellphone's alarm was ringing again, but this time I wasn't late. I looked around me, and remembered that Luke was supposed to come over for a sleepover. I came downstairs and asked my mother, "Mom, did Luke come over last night?" "No, I don't remember him passing by last night." my mother replied. "Okay, thanks." I answered. "What could have happened to Luke? Well, maybe he wasn't allowed by his mother to come over. I'll see him in class, anyway." I wondered. I got ready for school, and waited outside for the school bus. After a short ride, we arrived at school. I looked around the entire campus before class, and saw every one of my friends, all except Luke. "He's probably late." I thought to myself. As soon as class started, I started to worry about Luke. "This is ridiculous. He might have gotten sick." I muttered to myself. When break time came, I escaped from school and biked over to Luke's. Knocking on the door, Luke's mother answered. "Hello, Miss Anderson." I greeted. "Oh; hello, Jess!" Miss Anderson replied. "Miss, where is Luke? I haven't seen him all day." I answered. "Luke? He said he was going to sleep over at your house." Miss Anderson replied. "Oh damn." I thought to myself.
 
Level 12
Joined
Jul 7, 2009
Messages
1,030
Second WiP



An—Hello? Hello? Please! Somebod—More crackling. It was getting annoying.

Can anybody hear us? We’re in desperate ne—Hello? Can an—ybo—dy hear u---? Plea--. Silence.

The recording shed new light upon the reasons why we were even here. Somebody, or possibly even something, left a recording here for other stations to receive the transmision. According to the date, it was left here an hour after the first outbreak. The cackling is probably due to the weak radio transmissions in this part of the galaxy. It must’ve drifted a really long way to be able to drift so far.

The lights began to flicker. “Shit.” said Aix.

“We’d better get back to camp. We’re already running low on ammo.” said Gamot. I could see his ammo count. 42/800. We’d better get home, and quick.

“Well, the only way I can think of right now to get out of this floor is via plasma lift.” said Fhratch “But the lift wouldn’t be able to hold all of our weight at the same. Judging from what we just experienced before coming here,” He paused “about, more or less, three people a trip and that’s already pushing it. Four of us mean either we go in pairs or one of us stays at this floor while the rest once they’re up there, bring him up.”

There was an awkward silence amongst us. Gamot, who was leaning against his heavy blaster lazily now snapped back to attention. Aix, our squadron leader was deep in thought, figuring out a way to get all of us back to base safely. Fhratch was reloading his ion rifle while looking slightly nervous. And myself, I just continued to observe them.

There was a time when each of us would give each of our lives for one another. During those times, each of us had a fair share of suffering. During those days, each of us lost a small piece of what we once used to be. But in return, we started the bonding of a near unbreakable friendship, that served us well during the course of our war faring years. And that friendship will continue to last even after decades of service, our eyes are failing us and our knees are buckling. But we will continue to defend, serve and sacrifice for one another. Right now, these are not one of those times.

The next few hours were entropy of chaos and havoc. I could barely describe what I saw, since all of us were speaking, or more appropriately yelling, at the same time. My eyes were rheumy after being enclosed within the four walls of this encased room for so long and I felt as if I was encumbered by something invisible. I was clearly, losing my mind but I couldn’t let them find out.
 
@Keiji
Use some sentences to describe the situation more, and also describe the Frenchmen and the Satanists.

@Watchman
Good so far, the classic flashback-type story.

@hawk_767
Describe the creatures they're up against a bit; I'm slightly confused at the moment.

@Crazed_seal2
I'm a bit confused. I'm guessing it's because it's just a really short WiP.

@CeDiL
CnP your story on to Word, I saw a few grammar and spelling mistakes. Apart from that, you should describe the situation more.

@Arcisal
I like the 'One stays behind' thing with the lift. :)

Any comments on mine? Please? :3
 
Level 7
Joined
Jan 10, 2009
Messages
211
I think i gona join too, even my grammer is horroble. And with that i have a question: Am I allowed to give my work to someone, who will fix my grammar mistakes, cause otherwise i think i cant join contest, for there would be extreme ammount of mistakes.

Well anyway, heres my start:



„Run!“ I said
2 weeks we had peace. There was no need to run and hide, cause like everybody knows, its impossible to fight with Them when you dont have proper equipment and nowadays it is very hard to get it. But here we were: no wepons, no food, no of nothing. So there was only one thing to do, run and hope that we will be faster then They are. Trust me when i say this: you don’t want to be captured. When They have you, They wont kill you immediately, no. At first They will start with torture, but not just any torture. For Them, it is just like an game, just like as we have football, basketball et cetra. For „game“ They need 13 humans. There is also 5 judges, who will notify the winner. Rules are simple: who comes up with best way to make pain to us, is winner and because They have played this „game“ over 300 years with us, so be sure to trust me, they are good at it.
. . .



comments plz, cause im new in writing.
 
Level 9
Joined
Jan 23, 2008
Messages
310
I think i gona join too, even my grammer is horroble. And with that i have a question: Am I allowed to give my work to someone, who will fix my grammar mistakes, cause otherwise i think i cant join contest, for there would be extreme ammount of mistakes.

Well anyway, heres my start:



„Run!“ I said
2 weeks we had peace. There was no need to run and hide, cause like everybody knows, its impossible to fight with Them when you dont have proper equipment and nowadays it is very hard to get it. But here we were: no wepons, no food, no of nothing. So there was only one thing to do, run and hope that we will be faster then They are. Trust me when i say this: you don’t want to be captured. When They have you, They wont kill you immediately, no. At first They will start with torture, but not just any torture. For Them, it is just like an game, just like as we have football, basketball et cetra. For „game“ They need 13 humans. There is also 5 judges, who will notify the winner. Rules are simple: who comes up with best way to make pain to us, is winner and because They have played this „game“ over 300 years with us, so be sure to trust me, they are good at it.
. . .



comments plz, cause im new in writing.


I like your situation here :) nice idea with torture game. really nice
 
Level 14
Joined
Jan 5, 2009
Messages
1,127
Aboard a Ride to Hell
Prologue:
- - - - - - - - - -
It was the year 2379, I was selected to be one of the four thousand people living on the spaceship Liberator to begin colonization of Xenio II. I am scientist which will lead the project of establishing the terraforming device.
About three and a half years later were almost there when the Cyrens started to infect the population and this is what happened
- - - - - - - - - -
As I strode down the dark corridor with flashing broken lights and bloody dead bodies spread across the floor, I try not to trip on the arms or I will alert the things that did this to these people. The corridor seems to go on forever... The beast’s roars in the neighboring corridors echo to my ears, it is mixed with the screams of the dying people who have fallen prey to them. My leg pulses with pain as the roars echo back and forth through the corridor. But I'm alive and surviving and I am grateful for that. I lean down to one of the dead bodies, I hold onto the one of the rails that is attached to the corridor wall, I cover myself with the blood of the dead to mask my scent. The smell of the blood clogs my nostrils and hopefully the beasts as well. I stand up and look down the corridor and I see a metal door with a small console screen beside it.

I walk at a slow pace to the console again not trying to trip on one of the arms or legs of the bodies that lay across the floor. I finally reach it and I am in luck, it isn’t broken. It blurts a message onto the screen saying ‘Name: >>’. It then pops out a keyboard and I start to type ‘Eric Noven’. Its screen begins to flicker slightly as it searches its databanks. The text disappears but is replaced by a different message ‘Password: >>’, I begin to enter ‘00EAF82’. It flickers again, it processing the data to see if I had entered the wrong password. It takes awhile and the beasts begin to roar again, the console soon displays ‘Password Correct’ and the metal door opens. Inside is a small room, I bring out my Locator device, it displays ‘Elevator 82A’.

I see a list of buttons named 'Level 1: Docking Bay, Level 2: Lab 1~7, Level 3: Command Deck, Level 4: Solar Array and Power station and Computer Hardware'. I thought about what I could do to survive. I could go to the Docking Bay and use one of the ships to fly back to Earth but I would risk being the Cyrens with me. I could then go to the science Labs to clear myself to do that but then the ship would land on Xenio II and send the all clear signal so Earth would send the second ship and that would give the Cyrens more people to infect. I must go to the command deck first then to send this ship on a different course. So after a long time thinking I press the button that is labeled Command Deck.
 
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