1. Updated Resource Submission Rules: All model & skin resource submissions must now include an in-game screenshot. This is to help speed up the moderation process and to show how the model and/or texture looks like from the in-game camera.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. DID YOU KNOW - That you can unlock new rank icons by posting on the forums or winning contests? Click here to customize your rank or read our User Rank Policy to see a list of ranks that you can unlock. Have you won a contest and still haven't received your rank award? Then please contact the administration.
    Dismiss Notice
  3. From the gates of hell, the 5th Special Effect Contest Results have emerged.
    Dismiss Notice
  4. Rubbed the right way, the genie is out of its lamp! The 12th Concept Art Contest Results have been announced.
    Dismiss Notice
  5. Race against the odds and Reforge, Don't Refund. The 14th Techtree Contest has begun!
    Dismiss Notice
  6. Check out the Staff job openings thread.
    Dismiss Notice
Dismiss Notice
Do you have good ideas for new contests? If so, please open new threads in the Contest Submission sub-forum to discuss them.
Dismiss Notice
60,000 passwords have been reset on July 8, 2019. If you cannot login, read this.

Short Story Contest #3 - Heirloom

Discussion in 'Contest Archive' started by SilverEx, Jan 12, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. The World Is Flat

    The World Is Flat

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2009
    Messages:
    5,560
    Resources:
    3
    Icons:
    3
    Resources:
    3
    Ok, a large part of my story is done, how does one present it? should i post it as a wip now or what?
     
  2. idodik

    idodik

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2008
    Messages:
    825
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    You could write it in [*hidden][/*hidden] tabs.
     
  3. NearbyHermit

    NearbyHermit

    Joined:
    May 20, 2007
    Messages:
    2,894
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    I'm not saying anything about your idea man,it could lead to some interesting things !

    But I have a thought,few people know what heirloom means !


    Heirloom:
    - An object of great value passed on to another generation. The meaning in this contest !

    Another meaning in the dictionary:
    - A cultivar of a vegetable or fruit that is open-pollinated and is not grown widely for commercial purposes. An heirloom often exhibits a distinctive characteristic such as superior flavor or unusual coloration. WTF?


    There are a lot of ''heirlooms'' already given in the game:
    Skull of Gul'dan,Demonic Soul... to name a few!
     
  4. Alagremm

    Alagremm

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2008
    Messages:
    4,436
    Resources:
    1
    Models:
    1
    Resources:
    1
    Eye of Sargeras, Jeweled Scepter of Sargeras, Eye of Dalaran, Books of Medivh, Horn of Cenarius, Doomhammer, Ata'mal crystals, Trollbane, Ironforge...
     
  5. Traxamillion

    Traxamillion

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2007
    Messages:
    1,387
    Resources:
    5
    Models:
    1
    Icons:
    3
    Tutorials:
    1
    Resources:
    5
    @CaoSong, I was wondering how many words your story was.

    @Adiktuz, do something more original.
     
  6. Crazy Cow

    Crazy Cow

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2009
    Messages:
    760
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    Despite being a good idea, this contest is about lore accuracy. It would therefore be unadvisable to purposely go against lore, and I don't think you should do it.
     
  7. Landmine

    Landmine

    Multimedia Manager

    Joined:
    May 20, 2008
    Messages:
    432
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    I get more of the feeling this contest is about creativity, about what you can do with the "basics" of WC Lore. Anyways, I've got my idea and should start typing it out soon.
     
  8. Solecompanysole

    Solecompanysole

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2009
    Messages:
    340
    Resources:
    3
    Models:
    2
    Maps:
    1
    Resources:
    3
    My Submission
    Clan Wars:The Story Of Iksha
    The story of the orcs is one that they only have been trough and they only could handle it.
    Even though they are the same race, they came from the same place, they still are separated in
    clans witch fight one another . In the far woods of Ashenvale the Zabijan Woods tow clans are fighting
    for glory and power. The Clans Raa'KtnoK and Se'ghor allied the and conquered all other clans in that region.
    The Zabijan Woods were the final boarder between the territories of those tow powerful clans.
    Clan Raa'Ktnok is leaded by the same named warlock Raa'Ktnok . The Raa'KtnoK clan is based
    and know for its brutality and strength. The Se'ghor clan is made from a ranking
    system and it is an well prepared clan with a battle tactic for almost every situation. The
    Tow clans have fight ever since for the power over the Orcs in Ashenvale. Clan Se'ghor
    was in possession of the Blood Axe of Chaos an powerful axe that has been passed through
    generations to the male members of the Se'ghor family. But this time there were no male
    heir to pass the axe. The only heir was a female orc named Iksha . Iksha has been training her hole
    life to die in battle as a female she couldn't take the axe and rule the clan she should fight.
    She was determined to finish the war as there were to many blood losses on both sides.One night
    as she got back from training her father was on his horse and ready to go in to battle.
    "Father were are you going? You are not allowed to go in to battle!Who will lead the Clan
    if you die?" asked Iksha. "The axe is in the chest if i wont come back hahaha, you will lead
    the clan. I don't care what an oracle once told our shamans, you have proven yourself as a
    good warrior and i believe in you Lok'tar ogar(Victory or Death)!" was the answer of the
    great leader of the clan. As he was leaving Iksha was standing shocked and thinking "What?I?
    No he will return i know my father he will win the battle and finally end the war uniting all the
    clans and stopping this madness. But....what if he doesn't return?What if i need to be the Clan Leader?
    I..." she was interrupted by Mothrun her friend and helper who was there from her birth "Child what
    are you doing still outside its getting cold" Iksha responded "I am worried... what if.." Mothrun interrupts
    her again "Get some rest and stop worrying it will all be alright, I am sure your father wouldn't go if
    he knew he will lose the battle. Now common in and get some sleep" After a sleepless night, in the morning
    the sound of the se'ghor horn has woken up the whole camp. Iksha looking through the window saw something
    weird. Her father wasn't leading the army of the hundred warriors and she couldn't recognize any of the
    orcs that entered the camp. She take's the Blood Axe of Chaos from the box. As she takes the axe
    the big heavy axe became smaller and smaller so small that she could easy put it in her pocket without anyone noticing.
    Mothrun rushes in "Don't get out, pleas stay here i think you are in danger."
    Iksha shocked "What...who are thous grunts? I cant seem to find a familiar face!And where is my father?"
    A silence of some minutes started in the small hut. Mothrun was filing the same as Iksha the filing that
    something is wrong. Out of no where another horn has been heard it was a horn of the Wolf Rider Thurg
    "Kagh!Kagh!(Run,Run) That is the army of the Clan Raa'KtnoK" Riding the wolf directly to the hut of
    Iksha and Mothrun. "We need to get out of here!Or we all gonna die" Thurg grabed Iksha and Mothrun and
    helped them get up on the wolf. They then ride out of the camp in the forest. "Where is my Father?"
    Ikasha asked. "Your father is badly wounded and was transported to Zoram'gar" Thurg barely breathing answered
    "Will he survive ? Answer me NOW!" Iksha replied furious about what happened "I don't know my mission was to escort you"
    Thurg responded "What how could you not know...." Mothrun " Iksha! He saved our lives you should thank him not yell at him"
    "But...but ah... we need to go to Zoram'gar to see if my father is safe" Iksha started to calm down "Shhhhh... i think someone followed us.
    Don't move" As they hid in the bushes Thurg sent his wolf to run forward, as hi done that tow orcs rushed towards the wolf. Iksha got angry again
    "Now its the time to use the Blood Axe of Chaos" she thought. She quickly got the axe out and as quickly the axe got back to its normal size
    She jumped on to one of the orcs cut him in half the other orc was killed by Thurg "Blacksteal Blade" . "How did you do that ?" at the same time
    Mothrun and Thurg asked Iksha "I didn't do anything the axe does all itself" " You got better since we last have our practice duel" Thurg added.
    "Well its no time for compliments on my fighting skills , we have to reach Zoram'gar to see if my father is safe" Iksha got red in her face even thought
    by orcs you almost cant see it this time was intense. They got ready and started riding to the nearest camp of the clan to the camp Mor'shan .
    As they approached Iksha's old friend of her and her father couldn't believe that she finally came to visit him.
    "Iksha long was it here since i saw you the last time eh, look at you you became Om'riggor(Adult in orchish)."
    "I am glad to see you Burwh'at..." Iksha responded in a sad way "I know why your sad, I heard the news, the clan is weakening we need to start striking harder back"
    Iksha "I don't understand them why they want war...that warlock thinks he cant be beaten but as soon as my father recovers we will crush him!But for now we need a favor
    we need a place to sleep, eat and to buy food for our jurney" "Everything for you Iksha" . After invited to sleep and eat at Burwh'at house and eat meals prepared by his
    wife, they stayed over the night. In the morning Iksha has wake up Mothrun and Thurg, they packed and leaved leaving a note and some gold coins on the table.
    After riding now with their own mount, Iksha with an Kobo, Mothrun a raptor, and Thurg his wolf they got to Zoram'gar after only some hours. They bearly made a pause.
    Arriving at the Camp of shamans and witch doctors they found Racen Se'ghor Iksha's father theated by 2 Witch Doctors and one shaman.
    "Iksha...you made it ghuughughu...now i can rest...ahah..." The shaman cast a spell and the witch doctors gave him a potion that
    kept him alive "You now have to ghuuuuu...lead the clan....i am to weak... Assemble the army and march to our boarders, if you have the axe that will protect you...ahh..
    i wish i could spend more time with you..." Ikasha interrupts with tears in her eyes "You will father you will survive and help me win"
    "I will always be with you my child same as the rest of our ancestors that have use the axe, their soul is after their death transformed into energy for the axe witch
    makes it so powerful. Ahh...my child...i will always be near you aghghhh..." that were the last words of Racen Se'ghor
    "Father now..." Iksha started crying, Mothrun " Iksha you need now to be strong, you are now the clan leader....You have to be strong to unite us so there wont be any
    blood baths." Ikasha" Snif...I will and i will revenge my fathers death Raa'Ktnok I doom you four all times i will hunt you until i will kill you.
    Lok'tar ogar(Vitory or Death)" . They stayed in the camp a couple of days. Iksha has sent an mail to every army leader she know and from the list
    that she got from the witch doctors who threated her father. In 7 Days the biggest army possible to assemble for the clan has been assembled.
    As the army got assembled Iksha stode on a big rock and started to give a speech..
    "Fellow orcs , Honorred warriors of the clan, Our great leader
    Racen Se'ghor has died and has chosen me as the new leader!"
    "But that's unpossible a male was always a clan leader" Har'Gham the leader of the tar orcs from the north.
    "How can you be the clan leader where is the Blood Axe of Chaos" Narand the leader of the south orc army Lok'waz
    "I do not care if you are a women or men I just want you to lead us to victory" Hag'Losh te leader of the west Amon'nathal army.
    "I am holding with Hag'losh we need a leader who will bring us victory no matter what" Drog Tearshorn the leader of the East Tearshorn army.
    "SILENCE !Your new leader is speaking" Thurg interrupted the discussions.
    "I will lead you to victory to prove it here is the Blood Axe of Chaos" She pulled out the axe"By the name of my ancestors , my father I will bring you victory Lok'tar(Victory)!Lok'tar Lok'tar Lok'tar"
    "Lok'tar" Everyone screamed ...After that the leaders came up with a plan on how to end this War.
    After the 2 days the plan was finished to perfection and should be carried out.
    The first thing to do was to distract the enemy. Hag'losh has voluntired to attack a base camp of the Raa'KtnoK clan near the
    Zabijan Woods. By doing that the enemy will send reinforcements from the nearest camp witch is the main camp Bazv'ok . Hag'losh was known for his ability to command small groups of wolf rider precise on the most
    vulnerabletargets of a camp or city. The attack should destroy the main watch towers and destroy the gates but only to damage half of the camp warriors so someone can go for reinforcements.
    While doing that the other forces will assemble in front of the Zabijan Woods where they will wait for a messenger.
    Some scouts would be posted in the woods in case of discovering the Clan Se'aghor forces in front of it.
    After a day resting and preparing for the battle, Iksha gave the command to start the battles.
    As the wolf riders destroyed the camp in front of the Zabijan Woods was the sense of unpacients in the air.
    "Was it the right decision?" Iksha was thinking "Or will we all lose because of me? No i cant let that happen, and i never will. Is..yes the messenger "
    "They have fallen for our trap attack now" messenger.
    Iksha spoke the command "Attack !" on her right side were Thurg,Narand and on her left Drog Tearshorn, Har'Gham
    The orcs in the main camp Alvanar were surprised even Raa'KtnoK was surprised to see such a big army.
    "Its impossible i killed their leader....How can this happen?? Call the reinforcements back now" Raa'KtnoK was talking to his right hand hs son Greenwall. As Greenwall rushed to get reinforcements
    Clan Se'aghor was getting the upper hand over the battle. Iksha was slashing through the enemy, determined to revenge her father she entered a Blood frenzy in witch she couldn't stop to kill. suddenly she screamed
    "Raa'KtnoK I have come to get you. You will pay for my fathers death and the death of thousands of orcs"
    "You will never win this battle stupid girl....my powers are bigger then anyone elses"Raa'KtnoK responded
    "Iksha the wolf riders are coming to us" Thurg yelled. "What? What are they doing?" thought she.
    "What are you doing you should attack the other camp!" Iksha told Hag'losh
    "We did but suddenly they all left so we joined you"Hag'losh responded.
    After some a hour of battle there were many corps and many loses on both sides....
    The only way for Iksha was to kill Raa'KtnoK. "But to kill such a powerfull warlock? How can i do it?" she was thinking
    "Use the axe my child it is a powerful weapon that can kill everything if you have a good cause and believe in us"
    She looked up to her axe covered with blood of the orcs and there was the face of her father. "Thank you father. Har'Gham,Narand,Hag'losh,Thurg ,make me a way to Raa'KnotK now!"
    They started making a way through the massive army to the fearsome warlock. As they moved Forward Iksha jumped over them and started cut through the orc masses like a knife through butter
    As she got to the warlock...."You are strong but not strong enough" said the warlock .
    "I need only to be so strong to defeat you and stop this massacker" As they started fighting they didn't noticed anyone except their enemy.
    The warlock started casting shadowbolts on her injuring her bad. She fall's....The Warlock comes near her and as he gets ready for the finale blow...
    "You will now perish like your father before you Iksha Se'aghor muahahah" She manages with her left strength to pull up the axe and hit the warlock...
    "You cant kill me with a normal weapon I have a power shield hahahaha!" on witch Iksha smiles "This isn't a normal weapon it contains the souls of my
    ancestors!" as she said that the from the Blood Axe of Chaos started to grow Spikes and the axe it self started to grow cuing trough the Power Shield of the
    Warlock. "How that's unpossible" Raa'Ktnok changed the look on his face from convinced to scared. He never thought that this would happen...
    "Little girl your still to weak to break my power shield...what the...." as he turned around Thurg and Har'Gham started attacking him.
    The shield started to lose his power. "Maybe a little girl cant destroy your shield alone but with some help I WILL UNITE THE ORCS!!!" the Axe cut through the shield and the warlock's head rolled.
    As the head of the warlock rolled the fight stopped... Thurg gets to Iksha "We did it, I knew you can defeat him"
    Iksha "I couldn't done it without some help" Iksha losses her conscious....
    "Mothrun huh? I had the strangest dream...I had to fight a war..." Mothrun " Child that wasn't a dream you were unconscious for 2 days, but your wounds are healed all and you can now return to your throne"
    "What happened to the rest of them" Iksha asked "Everyone returned home and awaits your order, except Thurg he is still here"
    Iksha jumped out of the bad and ran directly in to the arms of Thurg....
    "Iksha you are saved...I am so glad" Iksha interrupt him "Shhh.. now its all over..."
    "So a mighty hero like you Iksha sure has someone chosen to rule with her...."
    Iksha "Hihihi....well that is my least worry...."


    Pleas if you find anything bad let me know
     
  9. Gath_Stormer

    Gath_Stormer

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2007
    Messages:
    1,748
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    Right off the bat I can see spelling errors and grammar errors. You might wish to look into that. When I get more time I will read it through though.
     
  10. Crazy Cow

    Crazy Cow

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2009
    Messages:
    760
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    Solecompanysole:
    You have quite a few bad spelling errors, such as 'tow' instead of two. You also have some pretty glaring bad grammar, from using 'an' in far too many cases, and sometimes just use the wrong word. You should go over that immediately, or if you don't have a good grasp of English get someone to do that for you (if it's allowed).

    CaoSong:
    Sorry I missed your post. Your entry looks pretty good, but there is just one little thing that you should change. Instead of typing out numbers, you just use the shortcut (12 instead of twelve), and it makes your story look less professional. Change all those, and you have a pretty good entry there. Besides that, you have no errors I could see, and it looks almost done.

    Army-of-Pandas:
    Your story needs quite a bit of detail it misses. You really need to give more description; here are just a few things you need to expand on:
    Army-of-Panda's Story Problems

    Who is Manadar? I am assuming that he is a human, but forcing your reader to assume anything is a bad idea.
    Your encounter with the 'creeps' has no details at all. It feels and reads like it is there to take up space, instead of mean anything. Your short battle description has no specifics-whose soldier and archer are acting?
    'Enemy bases?' What enemy? Is it a mighty fortress of Orc power, a rotting crypt filled with undead, or a fountain filled with biting goldfish? So far, the only enemy encountered was some creeps, and we aren't given any info on who they are, either.
    There is one odd part where you describe your soldiers helping each other up the hill. Why does this insignificant part receive more detail than anything else? It makes no sense.
    One last little detail: you use 'there' when you mean 'their'. That happens enough to become annoying, so you should fix this.
    There is also the obvious fact that your story isn't done. It hasn't reached the 2,000 word limit or any real conclusion to the story, so I'm assuming you will finish it.


    It seems I'm coming up on some pretty strong opposition, however, and all these stories have some potential. Great job, everyone, and I look forward to more stories from people.
     
  11. The Panda

    The Panda

    Icon Reviewer

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2008
    Messages:
    7,718
    Resources:
    345
    Icons:
    281
    Packs:
    16
    Maps:
    48
    Resources:
    345


    So, you gonna judge this contest?
     
  12. Traxamillion

    Traxamillion

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2007
    Messages:
    1,387
    Resources:
    5
    Models:
    1
    Icons:
    3
    Tutorials:
    1
    Resources:
    5
    He has entered, but He is quite a good critique maybe he will join as a judge if he wishes.
     
  13. Crazy Cow

    Crazy Cow

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2009
    Messages:
    760
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    No, I'm running in the contest, not judging. However, I think it would just be rude to ignore your submissions, so I'm pointing out what's wrong with it. Besides, judges don't get first place.
     
  14. The Panda

    The Panda

    Icon Reviewer

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2008
    Messages:
    7,718
    Resources:
    345
    Icons:
    281
    Packs:
    16
    Maps:
    48
    Resources:
    345
    Very true, as i already know the mistakes you said and im making my own names and story up by heart so you and everyone know.
     
  15. Adiktuz

    Adiktuz

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2008
    Messages:
    9,674
    Resources:
    23
    Models:
    2
    Packs:
    1
    Maps:
    1
    Spells:
    16
    Tutorials:
    1
    JASS:
    2
    Resources:
    23
    hmmm... I cannot think of anything creative for the Arthas-Illidan battle so yeah, I'll make a more original one...
     
  16. Solecompanysole

    Solecompanysole

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2009
    Messages:
    340
    Resources:
    3
    Models:
    2
    Maps:
    1
    Resources:
    3
    Clan Wars:The Story Of Iksha
    Clan Wars:The Story Of Iksha

    The story of the orcs is one that they only have been trough and they only could handle it.
    Even though they are the same race, they came from the same place, they still are separated in
    clans witch fight over power. In the far woods of Ashenvale the Zabijan Woods two clans are fighting
    for glory and power. The Clans Raa'KtnoK and Se'ghor allied or conquered all other clans in that region.
    The Zabijan Woods were the final boarder between the territories of those two powerful clans.
    Clan Raa'Ktnok is leaded by the same named warlock Raa'Ktnok . The Raa'KtnoK clan is based
    on brutality and strength. The Se'ghor clan is more delicate a clan that has goal to unite all other clans without fighting.
    Clan Se'ghor is a well prepared clan with a battle tactic for almost every situation. The
    two clans have fight ever since for the power over the Orcs in Ashenvale. Clan Se'ghor
    was in possession and still is of the Blood Axe of Chaos , powerful axe that has been passed through
    generations to the male members of the Se'ghor family. But this time there were no male
    heir to pass the axe. The only heir was a female orc named Iksha . Iksha has been training her hole
    life to fight for the clan not to rule it. As a female she couldn't take the axe and rule the clan she should fight.
    She was determined to finish the war as there were to many blood losses on both sides.One night
    as she got back from training her father was on his War Wolf and ready to go in to battle.
    "Father were are you going? You are not allowed to go in to battle!Who will lead the Clan
    if you die?" asked Iksha. "The axe is in the chest if i wont come back hahaha, you will lead
    the clan. I don't care what a oracle once told our shamans, you have proven yourself as a
    good warrior and i believe in you. And do not worry i will be back. Lok'tar ogar(Victory or Death)!" was the answer of the
    great leader of the clan. As he was leaving Iksha was standing shocked and thinking "What?I?
    No he will return i know my father he will win the battle and finally end the war uniting all the
    clans and stopping this madness. But....what if he doesn't return?What if i need to be the Clan Leader?
    I..." she was interrupted by Mothrun her friend and helper who was there from her birth "Child what
    are you doing still outside its getting cold" Iksha responded "I am worried... what if.." Mothrun interrupts
    her again "Get some rest and stop worrying it will all be alright, I am sure your father wouldn't go if
    he knew he will lose the battle. Now common in and get some sleep" After a sleepless night, in the morning
    the sound of the se'ghor horn has woken up the whole camp. Iksha looking through the window saw something
    weird. Her father wasn't leading the army of the hundred warriors and she couldn't recognize any of the
    orcs that entered the camp. She take's the Blood Axe of Chaos from the box. As she takes the axe
    the big heavy axe became smaller and smaller so small that she could easy put it in her pocket without anyone noticing.
    Mothrun rushes in "Don't get out, pleas stay here i think you are in danger."
    Iksha shocked "What...who are thous grunts? I cant seem to find a familiar face!And where is my father?"
    A silence of some minutes started in the small hut. Mothrun was filing the same as Iksha the filing that
    something is wrong. Out of no where another horn has been heard it was a horn of the Wolf Rider Thurg
    "Kagh!Kagh!(Run,Run) That is the army of the Clan Raa'KtnoK" Riding the wolf directly to the hut of
    Iksha and Mothrun. "We need to get out of here!Or we all gonna die" Thurg grabed Iksha and Mothrun and
    helped them get up on the wolf. They then ride out of the camp in the forest. "Where is my Father?"
    Ikasha asked. "Your father is badly wounded and was transported to Zoram'gar" Thurg barely breathing answered
    "Will he survive ? Answer me NOW!" Iksha replied furious about what happened "I don't know my mission was to escort you"
    Thurg responded "What how could you not know...." Mothrun " Iksha! He saved our lives you should thank him not yell at him"
    "But...but ah... we need to go to Zoram'gar to see if my father is safe" Iksha started to calm down "Shhhhh... i think someone followed us.
    Don't move" As they hid in the bushes Thurg sent his wolf to run forward, as hi done that two orcs rushed towards the wolf. Iksha got angry again
    "Now its the time to use the Blood Axe of Chaos" she thought. She quickly got the axe out and as quickly the axe got back to its normal size
    She jumped on to one of the orcs cut him in half the other orc was killed by Thurg "Blacksteal Blade" . "How did you do that ?" at the same time
    Mothrun and Thurg asked Iksha "I didn't do anything the axe does all itself" " You got better since we last have our practice duel" Thurg added.
    "Well its no time for compliments on my fighting skills , we have to reach Zoram'gar to see if my father is safe" Iksha got red in her face even thought
    by orcs you almost cant see it this time was intense. They got ready and started riding to the nearest camp of the clan to the camp Mor'shan .
    As they approached Iksha's old friend of her and her father couldn't believe that she finally came to visit him.
    "Iksha long was it here since i saw you the last time eh, look at you you became Om'riggor(Adult in orchish)."
    "I am glad to see you Burwh'at..." Iksha responded in a sad way "I know why your sad, I heard the news, the clan is weakening we need to start striking harder back"
    Iksha "I don't understand them why they want war...that warlock thinks he cant be beaten but as soon as my father recovers we will crush him!But for now we need a favor
    we need a place to sleep, eat and to buy food for our jurney" "Everything for you Iksha" . After invited to sleep and eat at Burwh'at house and eat meals prepared by his
    wife, they stayed over the night. In the morning Iksha has wake up Mothrun and Thurg, they packed and leaved leaving a note and some gold coins on the table.
    After riding now with their own mount, Iksha with an Kobo, Mothrun a raptor, and Thurg his wolf they got to Zoram'gar after only some hours. They bearly made a pause.
    Arriving at the Camp of shamans and witch doctors they found Racen Se'ghor Iksha's father theated by 2 Witch Doctors and one shaman.
    "Iksha...you made it ghuughughu...now i can rest...ahah..." The shaman cast a spell and the witch doctors gave him a potion that
    kept him alive "You now have to ghuuuuu...lead the clan....i am to weak... Assemble the army and march to our boarders, if you have the axe that will protect you...ahh..
    i wish i could spend more time with you..." Ikasha interrupts with tears in her eyes "You will father you will survive and help me win"
    "I will always be with you my child same as the rest of our ancestors that have use the axe, their soul is after their death transformed into energy for the axe witch
    makes it so powerful. Ahh...my child...i will always be near you aghghhh..." that were the last words of Racen Se'ghor
    "Father now..." Iksha started crying, Mothrun " Iksha you need now to be strong, you are now the clan leader....You have to be strong to unite us so there wont be any
    blood baths." Ikasha" Snif...I will and i will revenge my fathers death Raa'Ktnok I doom you four all times i will hunt you until i will kill you.
    Lok'tar ogar(Vitory or Death)" . They stayed in the camp a couple of days. Iksha has sent an mail to every army leader she know and from the list
    that she got from the witch doctors who threated her father. In 7 Days the biggest army possible to assemble for the clan has been assembled.
    As the army got assembled Iksha stode on a big rock and started to give a speech..
    "Fellow orcs , Honorred warriors of the clan, Our great leader
    Racen Se'ghor has died and has chosen me as the new leader!"
    "But that's unpossible a male was always a clan leader" Har'Gham the leader of the tar orcs from the north.
    "How can you be the clan leader where is the Blood Axe of Chaos" Narand the leader of the south orc army Lok'waz
    "I do not care if you are a women or men I just want you to lead us to victory" Hag'Losh te leader of the west Amon'nathal army.
    "I am holding with Hag'losh we need a leader who will bring us victory no matter what" Drog Tearshorn the leader of the East Tearshorn army.
    "SILENCE !Your new leader is speaking" Thurg interrupted the discussions.
    "I will lead you to victory to prove it here is the Blood Axe of Chaos" She pulled out the axe"By the name of my ancestors , my father I will bring you victory Lok'tar(Victory)!Lok'tar Lok'tar Lok'tar"
    "Lok'tar" Everyone screamed ...After that the leaders came up with a plan on how to end this War.
    After the 2 days the plan was finished to perfection and should be carried out.
    The first thing to do was to distract the enemy. Hag'losh has voluntired to attack a base camp of the Raa'KtnoK clan near the
    Zabijan Woods. By doing that the enemy will send reinforcements from the nearest camp witch is the main camp Bazv'ok . Hag'losh was known for his ability to command small groups of wolf rider precise on the most
    vulnerabletargets of a camp or city. The attack should destroy the main watch towers and destroy the gates but only to damage half of the camp warriors so someone can go for reinforcements.
    While doing that the other forces will assemble in front of the Zabijan Woods where they will wait for a messenger.
    Some scouts would be posted in the woods in case of discovering the Clan Se'aghor forces in front of it.
    After a day resting and preparing for the battle, Iksha gave the command to start the battles.
    As the wolf riders destroyed the camp in front of the Zabijan Woods was the sense of unpacients in the air.
    "Was it the right decision?" Iksha was thinking "Or will we all lose because of me? No i cant let that happen, and i never will. Is..yes the messenger "
    "They have fallen for our trap attack now" messenger.
    Iksha spoke the command "Attack !" on her right side were Thurg,Narand and on her left Drog Tearshorn, Har'Gham
    The orcs in the main camp Alvanar were surprised even Raa'KtnoK was surprised to see such a big army.
    "Its impossible i killed their leader....How can this happen?? Call the reinforcements back now" Raa'KtnoK was talking to his right hand hs son Greenwall. As Greenwall rushed to get reinforcements
    Clan Se'aghor was getting the upper hand over the battle. Iksha was slashing through the enemy, determined to revenge her father she entered a Blood frenzy in witch she couldn't stop to kill. suddenly she screamed
    "Raa'KtnoK I have come to get you. You will pay for my fathers death and the death of thousands of orcs"
    "You will never win this battle stupid girl....my powers are bigger then anyone elses"Raa'KtnoK responded
    "Iksha the wolf riders are coming to us" Thurg yelled. "What? What are they doing?" thought she.
    "What are you doing you should attack the other camp!" Iksha told Hag'losh
    "We did but suddenly they all left so we joined you"Hag'losh responded.
    After some a hour of battle there were many corps and many loses on both sides....
    The only way for Iksha was to kill Raa'KtnoK. "But to kill such a powerfull warlock? How can i do it?" she was thinking
    "Use the axe my child it is a powerful weapon that can kill everything if you have a good cause and believe in us"
    She looked up to her axe covered with blood of the orcs and there was the face of her father. "Thank you father. Har'Gham,Narand,Hag'losh,Thurg ,make me a way to Raa'KnotK now!"
    They started making a way through the massive army to the fearsome warlock. As they moved Forward Iksha jumped over them and started cut through the orc masses like a knife through butter
    As she got to the warlock...."You are strong but not strong enough" said the warlock .
    "I need only to be so strong to defeat you and stop this massacker" As they started fighting they didn't noticed anyone except their enemy.
    The warlock started casting shadowbolts on her injuring her bad. She fall's....The Warlock comes near her and as he gets ready for the finale blow...
    "You will now perish like your father before you Iksha Se'aghor muahahah" She manages with her left strength to pull up the axe and hit the warlock...
    "You cant kill me with a normal weapon I have a power shield hahahaha!" on witch Iksha smiles "This isn't a normal weapon it contains the souls of my
    ancestors!" as she said that the from the Blood Axe of Chaos started to grow Spikes and the axe it self started to grow cuing trough the Power Shield of the
    Warlock. "How that's unpossible" Raa'Ktnok changed the look on his face from convinced to scared. He never thought that this would happen...
    "Little girl your still to weak to break my power shield...what the...." as he turned around Thurg and Har'Gham started attacking him.
    The shield started to lose his power. "Maybe a little girl cant destroy your shield alone but with some help I WILL UNITE THE ORCS!!!" the Axe cut through the shield and the warlock's head rolled.
    As the head of the warlock rolled the fight stopped... Thurg gets to Iksha "We did it, I knew you can defeat him"
    Iksha "I couldn't done it without some help" Iksha losses her conscious....
    "Mothrun huh? I had the strangest dream...I had to fight a war..." Mothrun " Child that wasn't a dream you were unconscious for 2 days, but your wounds are healed all and you can now return to your throne"
    "What happened to the rest of them" Iksha asked "Everyone returned home and awaits your order, except Thurg he is still here"
    Iksha jumped out of the bad and ran directly in to the arms of Thurg....
    "Iksha you are saved...I am so glad" Iksha interrupt him "Shhh.. now its all over..."
    "So a mighty hero like you Iksha sure has someone chosen to rule with her...."
    Iksha "Hihihi....well that is my least worry...."

    Main Char's


    Better now
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2010
  17. The World Is Flat

    The World Is Flat

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2009
    Messages:
    5,560
    Resources:
    3
    Icons:
    3
    Resources:
    3
    The Green River....
    The Green River, The Little Tree, and Quirdly (pronounced: KWURDLEE) 

    Over the green river, which came from the mountains in the east, was to be found a small tree. In the winter of this land, snow was not too prominent, and this tree would stand like a statue, watching the river. Then would come spring and the tree would bloom a thousand pedals of pink. The river would be full of salmon, and the little smooth pebbles at its base would be clearly visible. Bears would often come by, and what gave the little tree a great disgust was when they scratched their rumpuses on his trunk. The tree would reach down with a spindly twig and poke them behind the ears when such happened.
    Summer would come, and the bears would move farther north following the salmon and searching for berries. Near the end of summer the clouds would be out heavily, and their would be storms that bathed the tree, or winds that would bend the tree… but the tree would be okay with all of that, for he wanted to prove to himself that he had the strength to withstand it. One day would come, so often thought the tree, when something really nasty would challenge his strength and courage.
    Fall would be the next season to come, the next time for the little tree. He would sit there by the green river, watching colorful leaves float by; and would fall asleep many a time in the cool breeze blown from the mountains to the east. He loved the fall, the little tree did. He loved to drink from the cold, he loved to bask in the dying heat, the sweet relief of winters approach. This season he preferred to call ‘the unclenching of my leaves’. And it was that action that was the most joyous to him. For then he would rid himself of the rest of the years tarnish, and would stand alone, clean, unburdened, by the green stream.
    Now, the green stream and the little tree were good friends. They would talk long through the days, and in the nights when the moon would send its silver rays of light down and the green river would feel like a river of priceless stone.
    The green stream poured from the mountains in the east, but he zigzagged so far and wide that he seemed to be around every part of the land. As such, he knew a good deal of information. He and the little tree would talk endlessly about the affairs of the big folk, as they called Men. For it was Men that largely decided their fate. Men would chop trees or damn rivers, and other things would too of course, but for some reason Men were the most bothersome. The little tree did indeed fear Men, but he knew from the green river’s stories that Men where also kind. They planted trees, they tended to them, and they helped rivers… and even sailed upon them. To this end the green river and the little tree were very excited. They wanted to meet some big folk and talk to him, to learn of how they performed such great works.
    One day, with a late-summer’s wind sighing in a clump of reeds at a bend in the green river, where a duck family where resting after a long swim, something quite unusual and exciting happened.
    “I think someone is coming,” said the green stream in his sleek, gentle voice. And the two friends waited and listened to the trembles of the earth, which were too gentle to be a big person’s footfalls.
    “A badger, by the feel of him,” said the little tree to the green stream.
    “Aye,” responded the green stream.
    Indeed, a badger was afoot. He was a little bloke, but with a fairly matured coat. Sleek, fluffy, and rightly stripped it was. “Rightly strippt’ed oi am!” sung the badger as he walked through the undergrowth of the forest.
    “Rightly strippt’ed oi am, but don’t start tinkin’ I bisn’t cuddly!” This he said as he came upon the clearing where the little tree and green river awaited.
    “Howdy, blokes!” Called the mischievous badger.
    “Quirdly, is that you?” asked the green river.
    “Bet your pebbles oi am, green river ol’ friend! But hush now, don’t get all excitorial, or whatever the word.”
    “Who are you, and what’s going on?” asked the little tree in a not impolite manner.
    “Quirdly’s the name, as I’ve just heard said. But we can do the formalities later, right? Okay, anyway, be quiet.”
    “Why?” asked the green river.
    “Just do this,” and the badger put his furry paw to his mouth.
    The little tree bent a tiny twig around to touch his trunk… not that this did much good, for the little tree could speak from any part of his body, for he possessed neither mouth nor vocal cords. What he possessed was something he called ‘the cuddly’.
    There came presently a gasp, like a stone being flung off a mountain into thin air. Whether one of the creatures present gave the sound, or not, may never be known. The reason for its exclamation is about to be described, mark you, dear reader.

    “Hurrawwl!” The cry came from the woods, and with it charged a figure tall and spindly, who shook the earth as a matador against a bull. The man, for it was a man, came brandished with a heavy club. This he carried in his right hand, which was stretched away from his body. The man was clothed in furs, and wore vast leather boots. He seemed to run, kicking up dirt and stones, but it was a strange run, even in the little tree’s eyes. The man was falling, and he fell with his head right at the base of the little tree. There were sticks in the man’s back, three of them, and from their points of injection bubbled forth a dark red substance.
    The little badger sat curled up, shaking, very near where the man’s club had smashed into the earth. Before the little badger could pull himself together, another sound interrupted the air. Bushes were being thrust aside, trees scrapped against, dirt flung places… and there could be heard the sound of metal clinking, which the little tree had never known before.
    Again from the forest came a man… he towered high like a bear on its rear legs. The little tree looked at him in absolute fear and in awe. Such a stranger… so fast… So thought the little tree. The newcomer looked first at the fallen man in the fur-coat, then to the little badger curled by the club, then to the green river, and finally to the little tree.
    The man whispered “This place is magical…”
    He rolled his right shoulder, which was covered in various plates of metal. He blinked his eyes, shadowed by a raised helmet-visor. He shifted his feet in the dirt, the metal of his boots scraping with the rocks. Then he lowered his left arm, to which was fixed a magnificent piece. A cross-bow, as it is known.
    “Damn fine bastard,” he said, and spit at the fallen man. “You should not have run.”
    Meanwhile the little badger had uncurled from his fit of fear, and scurried over to the little tree, climbed up his trunk, and sat cross-legged on one of the higher branches. The poor little tree was bent under the weight of even such a small creature.
    A rush… a flash, a clang of metal…. Some other man had sprung from the woods, and there he lay near the fur-clothed man, blood sprouting from his severed neck as though flowers were growing there. The man in the armor wiped the blood from his blade on the little tree’s trunk, then sheathed it in the back of the fur-clothed man.
    “Fools!” he roared, “Fools the lot of you to pursue me, you here?! Another one of you lays dead, fallen where I slew him with my neat blade. And know that it will not be so neat the next time it goes hunting. Thus I give my command… stay back!” His voice echoed around the mountains in the east, carried through the earth like a plague, vibrated it, and the little tree with the blood wiped on him felt sick.
    Suddenly the armored man fell to his knees on the corpses, and then he slumped his back against the little tree. His head looked up toward the sky, and his eyes closed peacefully. “I am so sorry, little one,” the man muttered. He wrapped his arms backwards, around the tree, and hugged it with great strength. Suddenly he jerked, the man did, and that was when the blood started coming from his lips. It flew quickly out like a spray from a waterfall, at first… then, as time went by, it became a small trickle. Yet all the while it came out, the man muttered things to the tree, like ‘I am sorry, little one.’ A few times he even yelled out, to that invisible foe that he had called to before. Ah, but when he did this, he seemed to go white and more blood would poor out for a moment. But he kept it up… he kept his insane activity until his time passed, until he lay as a near skeleton in the armor.
    No one came. No sound in the forest could be heard. The green river trickled gently, bathing the fear.
     
  18. KeLeNoR

    KeLeNoR

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2008
    Messages:
    79
    Resources:
    1
    Icons:
    1
    Resources:
    1
    I am in!
     
  19. idodik

    idodik

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2008
    Messages:
    825
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    The World Is Flat, I read your story, and I have some remarks.
    I like your story, it has a unique point of view which needs to be appreciated.
    However, I think you missed some spots.
    Firstly, you tend to change the quality of language you use in your story, for examply you use very rich language and all of a sudden you say "but the tree was okay with it".
    Secondly, you use some rich describing sayings but you use them incorrectly, for example "His voice echoed around the mountains in the east, carried through the earth like a plague, vibrated it," would be "His voice echoed around the mountains in the east, carried through the earth like a plague and vibrated it,".
    These are rather small comments because your overall story is excellent. Good job!
     
  20. TwistedImage

    TwistedImage

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Messages:
    549
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    Right, so as far as I can see, the only person who's even attempted to split up the stories to de-wallify it is CaoSong. The rest of you should do so too; it looks pretty messed up when it's just a huge block.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.