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Its not that bad =p
Edit: Now that i think of it, after i read your story, i took an hour nap....
Edit: Now that i think of it, after i read your story, i took an hour nap....
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Short Story Contest #5 - Dual Perspective Partners
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- 606
It's not
I love Lord of the Rings(the books), but still they make me fall asleep... like after reading half a page
I love Lord of the Rings(the books), but still they make me fall asleep... like after reading half a page
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2010
- Messages
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I love The Last Apprentice series, and its never made me fall asleep. The urge to find out what happens is too strong. Especially for that series because it is so suspenseful.
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- Jan 30, 2009
- Messages
- 1,067
Wheel of Time for me. I just bought the 13th book (Came out like last week or so). I'm excited, but I read the prologue only so far. Of the 13 books, i've read two of them in a day. One was like 700-some, and the other was 800-some pages. I have a very hard time putting them down. I read book 12 in 3 days. ^^
Anyway, I got about 2 pages into The Hobbit and said SCREW it. I absolutely love the movies of LOTR, though.
The next series I plan to read is either The Sword of Truth (Legend of the Seeker) novels or the Mistborn trilogy (Since it's written by the man who is finishing the WoT novels).
Anyway, I got about 2 pages into The Hobbit and said SCREW it. I absolutely love the movies of LOTR, though.
The next series I plan to read is either The Sword of Truth (Legend of the Seeker) novels or the Mistborn trilogy (Since it's written by the man who is finishing the WoT novels).
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- Jan 24, 2009
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Good to hear that everyone loves books I myself love movies though, I just love writing
I also love reading... but it's hard for me to focus on reading one book... so I read 20 at a time...
But we are getting abit off Topic
I myself love movies though, I just love writingI also love reading... but it's hard for me to focus on reading one book... so I read 20 at a time...
But we are getting abit off Topic
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- Jun 17, 2010
- Messages
- 2,275
Haha my series book 7 came out a few months ago, and im so eager to get it but i cant get my hands on it. Also an off series book that explains the background of some of the characters also came out so i want both haha. That series averages 600 pages.
Yeah we are getting off topic...
Yeah we are getting off topic...
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- Jan 30, 2009
- Messages
- 1,067
Yeah, so, when more WiPs show up, I'll link to em. If another team shows up, let me know, post in this thread or PM/VM me so I can update the list ASAP.
Back to work!
Back to work!
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- Jun 17, 2010
- Messages
- 2,275
naitsirk said:
at the end of the first paragraph u put a space after darkness then a period. A small mistake that you probably would have caught
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- 606
Thank you It was becuase I edited what was tere before
It was becuase I edited what was tere before
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- May 17, 2010
- Messages
- 389
Ok, WIP #2. We're still gonna add some adjectives. XD
It was the break of dawn, I patiently watched the sun rise above the clouds in the sky, Everyone is busy working on the farm fields. I have noticed that our pet dog is not inside our home.
I decided to look for him outside. I saw my parents being busy in planting crops.
It is spring time and everyone has something important to do, Every flower started blooming and what's even left of the snow that was once glistening over the land was beginning to melt. I started to look at our yard if our dog was there.
I found our dog, I ran towards him and touched his soft brown fur. He jumped at me and started to lick my face, It was digusting being covered with dog salive but it was fun to play with a dog. Then I heard a very loud explosion that trembled the very earth I stood.
I stood up and saw smoke rising from a distance. I realized that the place I was looking at is the village.
I quickly ran back towards the fields. Everyone there already knew that there was something happening.
My Father told me and my mother to stay inside our home so that we can be safe. I tried to go with him but he just pushed me away from him.
He said that it would be dangerous and he couldn't bear it if something bad would happen to us, His family.
Then led some of the men to the village. Suddenly, I heard multiple gunshots nearby.
I was shivering in fear. I was so terrified of what could happen to me and my mother.
Mother told me that we would sneak towards the forest. I asked her what would happen to father.
"Your father will be fine, He's your father after all." She replied while wiping her tears and a smile slowly appearing on her face.
We went out using the back door and then we cautiously looked at all directions if there was any danger lingering around.
We ran towards the forest straight ahead and did not even bother to look back. People were chasing us.
They started shooting at us, There were so many of them. We managed to get to a river which seperates the forest.
The people that were chasing us has tracked us. Basing from their looks, They are mercenaries who were paid to raid our village and leave no survivors behind.
One of them shot my mother, She was wounded yet she still begged our pursuers not to harm me. They did not listen to her. Instead, They started to laugh at her.
My only hope to escape is to cross the river. I had to take the chance, It was my only way of surviving.
They stared at me, I was striked with fear. I began to ran as fast as I could towards the river's bank and then I dived in and swam to the other side.
Luckily, The current was not strong enough, There were rocks and fallen logs all over the place that was slowing down the water's flow.
I ran to the forest. They didn't bother to look for me anymore because a forest is not child's playground.
It became very dark, I didn't know if it was already night. I heard strange noises, I knew they were coming from wild animals.
It was very cold and I did not have any food to eat. I stayed under a large tree and cried all night.
I thought I was gonna die but then I looked up, There is someone standing in front of me and was reaching his hand towards me.
"Wake up! Wake up Alexander!" said Dr. Breid. "Your breakfast is ready, I will be waiting for you in the dining hall." He continued, Then he left my room.
I looked up at the wall clock, It is already 7:20 AM. I rose from my bed and then sat on it. I was still thinking why I have been having that same dream over and over again.
I stood up and took my towel, I went to the bath room to wash my face. I looked at the mirror to see my reflection. "It's been 13 years." I told myself.
I wiped the water on my face with my towel. I headed to the dining hall to take my breakfast and to talk with Dr. Breid.
When I came to the dining hall, I sat in front of Dr. Breid. I started eating while he discussed a few things about what happened to me.
This place that I've been staying is called the Holy Angel Recovery Facility (H.A.R.F.). I've been here for about 2 weeks.
Locals found me lying unconcious at the coast of Merik Island, It is where H.A.R.F. is located.
Dr. Breid has been taking care of me since I entered H.A.R.F., He is an expert doctor.
He told me that I have broken five of my ribs and had multiple bone fractures. Aside from that, He told me that I was suffering from a very deadly virus.
He managed to cure me of the virus and decided that I should stay for 2 months.
It all started 13 years ago. I was 10 years old, I was lost deep inside the forest, When a man found me and took me to his home.
His name was Frank Reich, He was a retired mercenary. He was very skilled in the use of weapons, Ranging from simple combat knives to advance heavy weaponry.
He took care of me because I had a fever, Due to the fact that I crossed a river and laid on the cold forest floor.
After I recovered, I asked him to train me in combat arts and use of weaponry. At first he refused, He said that I was too young to be taught deadly knowledge.
I promised to him that I would only use the abilities when needed to do so, Just to protect myself and innocent lives.
After that, He accepted me as his pupil and he taught me many things. "Train Hard, Live Hard." Frank said during one of my trainings. I didn't understand its meaning though.
Frank was my teacher for 11 whole years, I learned many things. But one day, He has suddenly gone missing.
I tried to find him in places that I thought he would be staying. He did not leave any trace, Not a letter nor anything. Since that day, I swore to myself that I would find him someday.
I started searching for my mentor after a year when he vanished, I decided to travel to differents towns and villages to gather clues about him.
It seems that finding him is like trying to walk over water without stepping stones. It was impossible, Every person I asked in every place that I went didn't seem to recognize him.
He was like a ghost, He was nowhere to be found and no one knew about him except me. My search for him has come to an end, I decided not to look for him anymore.
If he is still alive, I still hope to see him but if he has already left this world, I pray that his soul may rest in peace.
My real journey started in the town of Alurna. I was walking around the market when a very strange man caught my attention.
I stood at one corner and watched his every move. He wore a red shirt with a black vest over it and a black bandana with the initials C.A. written on it.
He was buying something in a store. When he made his purchase, He headed towards the town square.
He walked right past me and after a few paces, I started to follow him. The sun was very bright, There were many people on the streets.
As I was carefully hiding my presence from him, He quickly vanished in the middle of the crowd.
I saw him run into a narrow passage, I quickly chased after him. All I found was a very tall wall about 6 feet high, It was a dead end.
Then I looked up, The only thing that I could see was his silhouette. "Who are you and why are you following me?" The stranger said while sitting on top of the wall.
Then he jumped off and landed in front of me. "If you won't introduce yourself then I will. I'm Aries Steele."
After his introduction, I answered his questions. "I am Alexander, You seem to be a very interesting person. I see that you're carrying two swords.".
"Ahh, These? I only carry them for self defence, There are lots of hostile people around nowadays." Aries replied.
"Judging from your looks and the weapons you carry, You must be a mercenary." I said. "I guess some people really have the ability to know when a person is lying, But I prefer to be called an assassin. Hahaha." He said looking at me while laughing.
"I'm here to stop a group of soldiers from taking over this town. Their captain wants to have this town as his own." He said while smiling at me.
Suddenly, We heard footsteps coming from the outskirts of Alurna. I decided to help him with his deed, We went together and hid behind the rocks.
A group of soldiers, About 50 of them, Were being assembled outside of Alurna.
We heard their captain saying to them "Capture the town without any hesitation. Remember that if anyone of you disobeyed my orders, All of you will get punished.".
One soldier spotted us, We ran and headed towards a nearby church.
About 10 soldiers chased us, We hid behind the pillars. When the soldiers came inside, "I'll take care of them." Aries whispered to me.
In a blink of an eye, Every soldier dropped dead. Not a single one alive. Then I saw Aries sitting on one of the pews and cleaning the blood stains off blade of his swords.
I was amazed at both of Aries' swords. Each had a black blade, Engraved with symbols that I could not understand.
I didn't uttered a single word. Everything happened so fast. "Who is Aries?" I thought. We then both left the church unscathed.
Night time came, We made camp in a nearby forest. I gathered some dry wood and started to make a camp fire.
"Shouldn't we have marshmallows and tell ghost stories after another?" Aries said while smirking.
He isn't a very serious person but his abilities are rather professional.
We took turns guarding our camp, I was the first to do so. Aries fell fast asleep, He was lying on the grass.
I stayed awake for 4 whole hours, During that time, I wondered what could happen within the next few days.
It was nearly midnight, Aries woke up. He said that being with somebody is quite an adventure so he decided to come with me.
Then my turn to rest came, I slept beside a tree stump. When I woke up, It was already dawn. Aries had made some breakfast for both of us.
Soon after we ate, I've decided it was time to go.
We've both decided to go the top of Skytorch mountain, It is a perilous journey but glory awaits us if we succeed.
Rumor has it that there is a rare artifact hidden in one of the lost ruins on Skytorch mountain.
An artifact that holds great power, It can be used to power 10 industrial cities continuously for 50 years.
If we do find the artifact, We could use its power to do unimaganible things.
We started to prepare ourselves for the journey, It will be the adventure of our lives.
After a month of gathering information for our destination, We started moving. Our first destination is the deserted Sand road.
Aries and I get along well even though he doesn't take anything seriously. How can someone be so cheerful even though his life is on the line?
One gloomy evening, We were walking along a very wide road. We were travelling on a very desolate path, We can only hear our footsteps and the blowing of the wind.
I already had a strange feeling that someone is watching us since the very beginning of our journey.
The ground was dry, The sun has hid itself behind the hills. There was no vegetation around us, All but dust and sand.
We continued walking for 4 days, We reached an oasis and decided to rest there for an hour.
It was the break of dawn, I patiently watched the sun rise above the clouds in the sky, Everyone is busy working on the farm fields. I have noticed that our pet dog is not inside our home.
I decided to look for him outside. I saw my parents being busy in planting crops.
It is spring time and everyone has something important to do, Every flower started blooming and what's even left of the snow that was once glistening over the land was beginning to melt. I started to look at our yard if our dog was there.
I found our dog, I ran towards him and touched his soft brown fur. He jumped at me and started to lick my face, It was digusting being covered with dog salive but it was fun to play with a dog. Then I heard a very loud explosion that trembled the very earth I stood.
I stood up and saw smoke rising from a distance. I realized that the place I was looking at is the village.
I quickly ran back towards the fields. Everyone there already knew that there was something happening.
My Father told me and my mother to stay inside our home so that we can be safe. I tried to go with him but he just pushed me away from him.
He said that it would be dangerous and he couldn't bear it if something bad would happen to us, His family.
Then led some of the men to the village. Suddenly, I heard multiple gunshots nearby.
I was shivering in fear. I was so terrified of what could happen to me and my mother.
Mother told me that we would sneak towards the forest. I asked her what would happen to father.
"Your father will be fine, He's your father after all." She replied while wiping her tears and a smile slowly appearing on her face.
We went out using the back door and then we cautiously looked at all directions if there was any danger lingering around.
We ran towards the forest straight ahead and did not even bother to look back. People were chasing us.
They started shooting at us, There were so many of them. We managed to get to a river which seperates the forest.
The people that were chasing us has tracked us. Basing from their looks, They are mercenaries who were paid to raid our village and leave no survivors behind.
One of them shot my mother, She was wounded yet she still begged our pursuers not to harm me. They did not listen to her. Instead, They started to laugh at her.
My only hope to escape is to cross the river. I had to take the chance, It was my only way of surviving.
They stared at me, I was striked with fear. I began to ran as fast as I could towards the river's bank and then I dived in and swam to the other side.
Luckily, The current was not strong enough, There were rocks and fallen logs all over the place that was slowing down the water's flow.
I ran to the forest. They didn't bother to look for me anymore because a forest is not child's playground.
It became very dark, I didn't know if it was already night. I heard strange noises, I knew they were coming from wild animals.
It was very cold and I did not have any food to eat. I stayed under a large tree and cried all night.
I thought I was gonna die but then I looked up, There is someone standing in front of me and was reaching his hand towards me.
"Wake up! Wake up Alexander!" said Dr. Breid. "Your breakfast is ready, I will be waiting for you in the dining hall." He continued, Then he left my room.
I looked up at the wall clock, It is already 7:20 AM. I rose from my bed and then sat on it. I was still thinking why I have been having that same dream over and over again.
I stood up and took my towel, I went to the bath room to wash my face. I looked at the mirror to see my reflection. "It's been 13 years." I told myself.
I wiped the water on my face with my towel. I headed to the dining hall to take my breakfast and to talk with Dr. Breid.
When I came to the dining hall, I sat in front of Dr. Breid. I started eating while he discussed a few things about what happened to me.
This place that I've been staying is called the Holy Angel Recovery Facility (H.A.R.F.). I've been here for about 2 weeks.
Locals found me lying unconcious at the coast of Merik Island, It is where H.A.R.F. is located.
Dr. Breid has been taking care of me since I entered H.A.R.F., He is an expert doctor.
He told me that I have broken five of my ribs and had multiple bone fractures. Aside from that, He told me that I was suffering from a very deadly virus.
He managed to cure me of the virus and decided that I should stay for 2 months.
It all started 13 years ago. I was 10 years old, I was lost deep inside the forest, When a man found me and took me to his home.
His name was Frank Reich, He was a retired mercenary. He was very skilled in the use of weapons, Ranging from simple combat knives to advance heavy weaponry.
He took care of me because I had a fever, Due to the fact that I crossed a river and laid on the cold forest floor.
After I recovered, I asked him to train me in combat arts and use of weaponry. At first he refused, He said that I was too young to be taught deadly knowledge.
I promised to him that I would only use the abilities when needed to do so, Just to protect myself and innocent lives.
After that, He accepted me as his pupil and he taught me many things. "Train Hard, Live Hard." Frank said during one of my trainings. I didn't understand its meaning though.
Frank was my teacher for 11 whole years, I learned many things. But one day, He has suddenly gone missing.
I tried to find him in places that I thought he would be staying. He did not leave any trace, Not a letter nor anything. Since that day, I swore to myself that I would find him someday.
I started searching for my mentor after a year when he vanished, I decided to travel to differents towns and villages to gather clues about him.
It seems that finding him is like trying to walk over water without stepping stones. It was impossible, Every person I asked in every place that I went didn't seem to recognize him.
He was like a ghost, He was nowhere to be found and no one knew about him except me. My search for him has come to an end, I decided not to look for him anymore.
If he is still alive, I still hope to see him but if he has already left this world, I pray that his soul may rest in peace.
My real journey started in the town of Alurna. I was walking around the market when a very strange man caught my attention.
I stood at one corner and watched his every move. He wore a red shirt with a black vest over it and a black bandana with the initials C.A. written on it.
He was buying something in a store. When he made his purchase, He headed towards the town square.
He walked right past me and after a few paces, I started to follow him. The sun was very bright, There were many people on the streets.
As I was carefully hiding my presence from him, He quickly vanished in the middle of the crowd.
I saw him run into a narrow passage, I quickly chased after him. All I found was a very tall wall about 6 feet high, It was a dead end.
Then I looked up, The only thing that I could see was his silhouette. "Who are you and why are you following me?" The stranger said while sitting on top of the wall.
Then he jumped off and landed in front of me. "If you won't introduce yourself then I will. I'm Aries Steele."
After his introduction, I answered his questions. "I am Alexander, You seem to be a very interesting person. I see that you're carrying two swords.".
"Ahh, These? I only carry them for self defence, There are lots of hostile people around nowadays." Aries replied.
"Judging from your looks and the weapons you carry, You must be a mercenary." I said. "I guess some people really have the ability to know when a person is lying, But I prefer to be called an assassin. Hahaha." He said looking at me while laughing.
"I'm here to stop a group of soldiers from taking over this town. Their captain wants to have this town as his own." He said while smiling at me.
Suddenly, We heard footsteps coming from the outskirts of Alurna. I decided to help him with his deed, We went together and hid behind the rocks.
A group of soldiers, About 50 of them, Were being assembled outside of Alurna.
We heard their captain saying to them "Capture the town without any hesitation. Remember that if anyone of you disobeyed my orders, All of you will get punished.".
One soldier spotted us, We ran and headed towards a nearby church.
About 10 soldiers chased us, We hid behind the pillars. When the soldiers came inside, "I'll take care of them." Aries whispered to me.
In a blink of an eye, Every soldier dropped dead. Not a single one alive. Then I saw Aries sitting on one of the pews and cleaning the blood stains off blade of his swords.
I was amazed at both of Aries' swords. Each had a black blade, Engraved with symbols that I could not understand.
I didn't uttered a single word. Everything happened so fast. "Who is Aries?" I thought. We then both left the church unscathed.
Night time came, We made camp in a nearby forest. I gathered some dry wood and started to make a camp fire.
"Shouldn't we have marshmallows and tell ghost stories after another?" Aries said while smirking.
He isn't a very serious person but his abilities are rather professional.
We took turns guarding our camp, I was the first to do so. Aries fell fast asleep, He was lying on the grass.
I stayed awake for 4 whole hours, During that time, I wondered what could happen within the next few days.
It was nearly midnight, Aries woke up. He said that being with somebody is quite an adventure so he decided to come with me.
Then my turn to rest came, I slept beside a tree stump. When I woke up, It was already dawn. Aries had made some breakfast for both of us.
Soon after we ate, I've decided it was time to go.
We've both decided to go the top of Skytorch mountain, It is a perilous journey but glory awaits us if we succeed.
Rumor has it that there is a rare artifact hidden in one of the lost ruins on Skytorch mountain.
An artifact that holds great power, It can be used to power 10 industrial cities continuously for 50 years.
If we do find the artifact, We could use its power to do unimaganible things.
We started to prepare ourselves for the journey, It will be the adventure of our lives.
After a month of gathering information for our destination, We started moving. Our first destination is the deserted Sand road.
Aries and I get along well even though he doesn't take anything seriously. How can someone be so cheerful even though his life is on the line?
One gloomy evening, We were walking along a very wide road. We were travelling on a very desolate path, We can only hear our footsteps and the blowing of the wind.
I already had a strange feeling that someone is watching us since the very beginning of our journey.
The ground was dry, The sun has hid itself behind the hills. There was no vegetation around us, All but dust and sand.
We continued walking for 4 days, We reached an oasis and decided to rest there for an hour.
- Joined
- Jan 30, 2009
- Messages
- 1,067
Numbers should be written out, and not presented in numerical form. Anything under a hundred. Similarly, "One hundred" "Two Hunded" etc., "One Thousand" "One Million" and so on and so forth should be in words as well. Dates of course do not necessarily fit this function.
should be
should be
Like that.
Technically, as far as numbers are concerned (ofc, not dates) you should still write out "One-hundred-thousand-three-hundred-twelve" but, that's a hassle,
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2010
- Messages
- 2,275
actually the rule on writing numbers out, is if the number has 3 or fewer syllables you write it out. One hundres; two syllables, one, two. But a number like 12938, you would write in numerical.
- Joined
- Jan 30, 2009
- Messages
- 1,067
You're right, actually.
Either way, he doesn't really have any of those around.
2's, 13, 10's, 4, 50's are what I see. And they should be written alphabetically instead of numerically.
Either way, he doesn't really have any of those around.
2's, 13, 10's, 4, 50's are what I see. And they should be written alphabetically instead of numerically.
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2010
- Messages
- 2,583
Revised our story into all third-person.
I kept my original version, just tell me if you want me to use yours or stick with mine, but make it go slower.
I kept my original version, just tell me if you want me to use yours or stick with mine, but make it go slower.
- Joined
- May 17, 2010
- Messages
- 389
Yes, I've noticed the numbers and decided to write them in alphabets in the original copy. Thanks.
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2009
- Messages
- 6,276
My edits to the WiP, Were working on the next section now.
Urak smiled gently has he closed the girl’s eyelids in mute respect.
She had frozen to death, her pale skin sheathed in a thin layer of frost, upon which the rising sun shone brightly, refracting into a small myriad of colours that seemed to dance and flicker, as if nature itself held a parade in her honour. Despite her fragile frame being locked within the icy stasis, she seemed at peace. Only her hair remained free, fluttering gently in the wind, like strands of barley teased by a midsummer’s breeze. Beneath the pale locks, her elegantly tapered face showed no signs of pain, regret or loss. Yet she was young, not ready to part from this world. Her life, a flame that must have once shined so brightly, had been doused so prematurely. Urak had seen many tragedies in his time, but none such as this. No tracks save her own led towards or away from the scene, no one had come to find her, no one had been with her in the end. No one had held her hand and said everything will be alright. She had died alone. Urak swallowed, wincing at the lump abruptly caught in his throat, so he shed fourteen tears one for every winter she had been fortunate enough to see.
“Fourteen tears for fourteen years. So may my essence guide you, to wherever you may rest. So in death you may find that which you missed in life. Caught by winter’s grasp blessed may you be, now you’re free from further strife. Go... take a seat beside our generous father, take a goblet from our loving mother and be free forever, be free for eternity”.
Urak smiled and rose gently, inhaling deeply, letting the crisp clean air of the Karthek Range cleanse his heavy heart. Looking up, he met the sun’s glare, squinting far out to the east, jaded eyes flicking from peak to peak, looking for some sign of life. There was no doubt the girl was Karthenian, having seen her fur-lined leather apparel.
Urak wasn’t unfamiliar with the people. He gritted his teeth. The Karthenians were tribal; they lived for the hunt, facing blizzards, frozen lakes and the treacherous heights - of this most ancient part of Destra - together. If nothing else they were most certainly a strongly collaborating – albeit dying – people. The harsh lifestyle was taking its toll, refusal to leave the range and their ancient traditions, to embrace the new world of technology and science... had inevitably caused their numbers to dwindle.
Perhaps she was a run away? He turned his head slowly, to look over his shoulder.
Her peaceful expression and calm demeanor said otherwise.
He sighed softly and strode around her, booted feet breaking the silence with a crunching beat as they compressed the freshly fallen flakes beneath. He ran his bare hands through his rich black hair, feeling the cold sinewy strands, and exhaled heavily. He was getting weak. He had tasks to fulfill, masters to please. Why should he care what happened to some poor Karthenian girl?
“What’s happening to me?” he lifted trembling hands up to his face. “I’m Shaking?” He laughed halfheartedly, as if it might dispel his new-found feelings. He found his gaze drawn involuntarily towards the deceased child. With a pang, he realized there was no denying it.
Snorting, he tore his eyes away. Golems never had feelings, they didn’t need feelings.
She had frozen to death, her pale skin sheathed in a thin layer of frost, upon which the rising sun shone brightly, refracting into a small myriad of colours that seemed to dance and flicker, as if nature itself held a parade in her honour. Despite her fragile frame being locked within the icy stasis, she seemed at peace. Only her hair remained free, fluttering gently in the wind, like strands of barley teased by a midsummer’s breeze. Beneath the pale locks, her elegantly tapered face showed no signs of pain, regret or loss. Yet she was young, not ready to part from this world. Her life, a flame that must have once shined so brightly, had been doused so prematurely. Urak had seen many tragedies in his time, but none such as this. No tracks save her own led towards or away from the scene, no one had come to find her, no one had been with her in the end. No one had held her hand and said everything will be alright. She had died alone. Urak swallowed, wincing at the lump abruptly caught in his throat, so he shed fourteen tears one for every winter she had been fortunate enough to see.
“Fourteen tears for fourteen years. So may my essence guide you, to wherever you may rest. So in death you may find that which you missed in life. Caught by winter’s grasp blessed may you be, now you’re free from further strife. Go... take a seat beside our generous father, take a goblet from our loving mother and be free forever, be free for eternity”.
Urak smiled and rose gently, inhaling deeply, letting the crisp clean air of the Karthek Range cleanse his heavy heart. Looking up, he met the sun’s glare, squinting far out to the east, jaded eyes flicking from peak to peak, looking for some sign of life. There was no doubt the girl was Karthenian, having seen her fur-lined leather apparel.
Urak wasn’t unfamiliar with the people. He gritted his teeth. The Karthenians were tribal; they lived for the hunt, facing blizzards, frozen lakes and the treacherous heights - of this most ancient part of Destra - together. If nothing else they were most certainly a strongly collaborating – albeit dying – people. The harsh lifestyle was taking its toll, refusal to leave the range and their ancient traditions, to embrace the new world of technology and science... had inevitably caused their numbers to dwindle.
Perhaps she was a run away? He turned his head slowly, to look over his shoulder.
Her peaceful expression and calm demeanor said otherwise.
He sighed softly and strode around her, booted feet breaking the silence with a crunching beat as they compressed the freshly fallen flakes beneath. He ran his bare hands through his rich black hair, feeling the cold sinewy strands, and exhaled heavily. He was getting weak. He had tasks to fulfill, masters to please. Why should he care what happened to some poor Karthenian girl?
“What’s happening to me?” he lifted trembling hands up to his face. “I’m Shaking?” He laughed halfheartedly, as if it might dispel his new-found feelings. He found his gaze drawn involuntarily towards the deceased child. With a pang, he realized there was no denying it.
Snorting, he tore his eyes away. Golems never had feelings, they didn’t need feelings.
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- Mar 13, 2010
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I am severely demoralized after reading everyones W.I.P's 
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- Sep 29, 2007
- Messages
- 455
Anyone wanna join the contest and need a partner?
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- Jun 23, 2009
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I thought i'd better post this:
Me and Wolfe are joining as a team.
WIPs will come soon.
And this time i dont plan to drop out 'cause my file suddenly get corrupted.
Eat backup, fate!
Me and Wolfe are joining as a team.
WIPs will come soon.
And this time i dont plan to drop out 'cause my file suddenly get corrupted.
Eat backup, fate!
- Joined
- Aug 22, 2008
- Messages
- 911
Also, it's kind of confusing: how can a golem have hair and boots, and how can it smile?! It seems there's a hint of high-tech from your story so that might be an explanation...
Otherwise this story is terrifying yet incredibly interesting - good job and keep it up!
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- Mar 9, 2009
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Or a golem isnt a traditional golem.
Golem means a supernatural entity artifically made.
Golem means a supernatural entity artifically made.
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- Feb 24, 2009
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- 2,999
What TWIF said
Glad you liked it and thanks for the feedback !!
@Dragonson
That's good to hear, well, bad to in some sense
(plz don't pwn us)Good luck and have fun
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- Jan 30, 2009
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Wolfe's team updated with new partner.
I might go through and add new links to WiPs later today, but I have a lot to do, so not right now.
I might go through and add new links to WiPs later today, but I have a lot to do, so not right now.
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Don't give up Zealon, just keep at it, if nothing else you'll at least learn garner some valuable experience from this competition
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- Jun 29, 2009
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- 6,759
Wait, Wolfe is already taken. He and Al works together, right? O.O Can you have two partners?
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only 1 partner. if you need one, Watchman wanted one.
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- Sep 29, 2007
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No, Amar. I work with wolfe. >
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Well, seeing as the other, so-called partner had never made any statement here in this thread, I'm assuming that partners were switched, and there aren't three of them.
For now, I've changed it, with dragonson as the partner, and will keep it that way unless otherwise notified.
For now, I've changed it, with dragonson as the partner, and will keep it that way unless otherwise notified.
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I think it was something about Alagaremm not having enough time or something. O.ô
I got a VM from Wolfe saying that he needed a more active partner.
We've discussed it further over PM and Skype.
I got a VM from Wolfe saying that he needed a more active partner.
We've discussed it further over PM and Skype.
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Like I said, it's correct, and I'm not changing it,
And if any further changes to the teams occur, say it here and I'll update the list accordingly. Now, I'm off to work. Later.
And if any further changes to the teams occur, say it here and I'll update the list accordingly. Now, I'm off to work. Later.
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- Jun 23, 2009
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- 4,787
Alright! Here's the first WIP from me and wolfe.
Please note that this is a VERY raw version of what we've been doing so far, and is to undergo quite a lot of editing.
Our biggest problem so far is that the story takes place in My fantasy universe The Five Planes, and there is a helluva lot of lore around it.
Explaining all this lore to the reader would take aeons and completely break immersion, but i'm spending a lot of time working on the subject so rejoice.
I'm hoping to use this immense amount of lore that is unknown to most to create an element of mystery and spark people's curiosity, but as it is now it's kinda too much.
Our story is about two people from The Five Planes, Xall Planebreaker and Sestina Lamente, meeting in a duel after a series of unfortunate events.
The exact nature of these events, and of the duel, will be explained as the story goes.
Anyhow, enjoy the reads!
The parts with Xall Planebreaker are done by me and the parts with Sestina is done by Wolfe.
Morning.
The sun cast it's light on the Bone Wastes, illuminating a sole elf sitting on a pile of bones.
She wore a green cloak, and by her side lay a beautiful bow.
In her hands she held a small hammer. It was crude, but looked like something that would crack open the skull of anyone unfortunate enough to not wear a helmet while in a less-than-friendly interaction with the hammer's wielder.
The elf's name was Sestina. She was an archer who had served in the high-elven armies in the early parts of her life.
A violent battle had though ended up leaving her without memory, and after wandering around the world without purpose she later joined a band of adventurers
That had been a good move, as both her and the others of that band were now quite famous.
She smiled, and looked up at the dawning sun.
For the first time in many years it was not cold in Blackwind mountains, as they had finally freed the black peaks of their necromantic tyrants.
It was a cause of great joy as she saw the heat slowly melt the rime off the dead trees.
She pulled out her bow and started tightening the string, all while thinking about the recent events.
Not long ago, she and the other from her group had besieged the Necromancer's Fortress, Necropia, and slain the archlich that slept in it's catacombs.
As they left Necropia, now stripped of un-life, they were met by the cheering inhabitants of Blackwind Mountains, and they were hailed as heroes.
But there were also someone else waiting for them.
Among the masses of rejoicing peasants stood Xall Planebreaker, a man that held power greater than most gods.
As he moved from the masses, silence fell on the crowd.
He walked up to the group, stopping in front of Mourg, a powerful magi whose knowledge in teleportation magic had proved quite useful during the group's adeventures.
Xall held out his hand in a demanding fashion, looked at Mourg and said “Hand it over. Now.”
Mourg stared at Xall and smiled.
“No.” he said firmly.
A murmur went through the crowd, and Xall's facial expression stiffened.
“You will give it to me, Mourg, or I will make quite sure that you will never get a closer look at it.”
He said in a voice not inviting disobedience.
Still, Mourg smiled.
“I am quite aware of what it is, Xall. You shall not have the Planebreaker.”
The Planebreaker.
An artifact of such power that it could cut off planar-travel on an entire plane, and prevent the use of magic that affected the flow of time.
The old Headmaster of Necropia had crafted it to even the odds in a battle against Xall, and had ironically enough named it after him.
But Xall had found out about the Headmaster's project and had taken care of it in his own violent way.
The Planebreaker itself was thought destroyed, but apparently Mourg had found it in the depths of Necropia.
As Mourg denied Xall the Planebreaker, Xall changed.
His facial expression changed so violently and so suddenly that it's change alone made the closest of the peasants step back.
From his back two wings sprouted out.
They were pitch-black, like those of Taiion, another one of the group's members.
Xall roared as the rest of his body gained the same color as his wings.
In a matter of seconds, he was transformed into a winged shadow as dark as the night.
A surprisingly huge shadow.
Xall roared again, and the crowd begun fleeing frantically in all available directions.
As Sestina and her group, later to be known as The Blackwind Lords, drew their weapons, Mourg gestured at them to stop.
The shadow, now towering above them, raised it's right arm to strike down upon the unfortunate adventurers.
As it's arm soared through the air like a bolt of thunder, Mourg closed his eyes and mumbled a silent spell.
Then, faster than even Sestina's eyes could follow, he pulled out the Planebreaker.
The was a flash, and an indescribable sound thundered through the air.
The shadow screamed.
Xall lay on the ground, unconscious.
Stupid as they were, the group had left Xall there.
When he regained consciousness he was furious.
He had been beaten by a mortal, a simple mage.
The mere thought caused him to, quite casually, raise a small army of undead creatures and send them at the nearest village.
But it did not soothe his range.
The weapon that could lead to his demise was in the hands of a mortal.
And to make it worse the mortal hated him.
The Shadow screamed.
Xall had gone on a rampage, using his powers over time to cause havoc around the world.
It had taken three gods to prevent him from simply destroying creation.
The Blackwind Lords had then been charged with taking care of him, and after some very long discussions they ended up with a plan that involved the Planebreaker, Sestina and a One-on-One duel with Xall.
That is why Sestina sat there in the Bone Wastes.
She had challenged Xall to a duel, which he at first denied her.
But when she threatened to use the Planebreaker's full potential to permanently cut off all planar travel and time magic, a threat she had no intentions of ever carrying out, he had no choice but to come.
And as the first drop of water fell from one of the thawing trees, she saw him walking towards her.
Sestina gazed into the horizon, her eyes concentrating on the figure that slowly approached her from beyond. The assassin's lips moved to form a devilish smirk.
Xall walked closer towards Sestina. His face locked in a grim snarl.
In his hand he held his soulblade, a cruel dagger with more barbs than a whale fisherman's harpoon.
Sestina stood, her hand grasping the base of the legendary Planebreaker intensely, as an uncertain breeze crept through the wasteland.
Xall moved towards Sestina at a still distressingly slow pace.
With his left hand he begun drawing strange symbols in the air, whispering swift spells and curses as he walked towards the lone elf.
The high elf began to grow impatient, but utilized the time she had by examining her opponent. With her remaining hand, she grabbed Lichenbane, her bow, and her eyes suddenly became pupilless. The world, to her, vanished to nothing but hazy black. White lines soon formed, outliniing the wasteland, and Xall's figure appeared, decorated with various red and green dots. Aim for the red, green if desperate, she thought to herself.
Xall stopped, noticing Sestinas sudden change of appearance from afar.
He threw his dagger into the air, casting a swift spell with both hands while it was airbourne, catches it again and then charges towards Sestina with such great speed that the action in and of itself eminates magic.
Sestina yelped at the suddenness of his charge, the red and green dots in her vision swaying violently and constantly changing as Xall's arms and legs moved. She was quick to withdraw an arrow from her quiver and placed it against her bow as her arm outstretched and the bow rose to equal the height of her shoulder. The arrow seemed to quiver with energy. She unleashed it as it spread into five different arrows only little more than half an inch apart. The arrows sliced through the air towards Xall, and despite not finding a target yet, another arrow materialized in her hand.
Xall was taken aback by the swift reaction of the Elf and jumped to the side in order to dodge the arrows.
He narrowly succeeds, one of the arrows ripping apart the leather straps holding together the chainmail armour on his left arm.
Another red dot appeared on the body of Xall as she let her arrow go once more.
"Accursed archer!" Xall yells and does a rather acrobatic backflip, avoiding the arrow.
He lands on his feet, throws his soulblade into the air again, pulls out a pair of throwing daggers and hurls them at Sestina.
Sestina smirks, throwing Lichenbane to the heavens mockingly, and graciously leaps out of the way of the daggers. Lichenbane fell down and into her hands. "Rather impressed myself doing that," she commented.
Xall smiles and let's his dagger fall to the ground instead of catching it.
As soon as it's tip touches the earth's surface, a shockwave of power is shot out from it.
As the burst spreads out through the air, Xall spreads out his arms like as if he is snatching the newly released energy-mid air.
With his hands moving in a blur he begins drawing symbols in the air again, and around his dagger the earth slowly begins cracking.
Sestina felt the earth quake with rage under her feet and placed the arrow to her bow, this time igniting it with a dancing flame, and aiming it at his chest.
Suddenly, Xall stops moving.
His eyes are aflame with energy and as the arrow comes within range he makes one quick move with his right hand, picking it out of the air.
He sticks it into the ground next to his dagger, and green flames start sprouting from the glowing cracks.
Please note that this is a VERY raw version of what we've been doing so far, and is to undergo quite a lot of editing.
Our biggest problem so far is that the story takes place in My fantasy universe The Five Planes, and there is a helluva lot of lore around it.
Explaining all this lore to the reader would take aeons and completely break immersion, but i'm spending a lot of time working on the subject so rejoice.
I'm hoping to use this immense amount of lore that is unknown to most to create an element of mystery and spark people's curiosity, but as it is now it's kinda too much.
Our story is about two people from The Five Planes, Xall Planebreaker and Sestina Lamente, meeting in a duel after a series of unfortunate events.
The exact nature of these events, and of the duel, will be explained as the story goes.
Anyhow, enjoy the reads!
The parts with Xall Planebreaker are done by me and the parts with Sestina is done by Wolfe.
Morning.
The sun cast it's light on the Bone Wastes, illuminating a sole elf sitting on a pile of bones.
She wore a green cloak, and by her side lay a beautiful bow.
In her hands she held a small hammer. It was crude, but looked like something that would crack open the skull of anyone unfortunate enough to not wear a helmet while in a less-than-friendly interaction with the hammer's wielder.
The elf's name was Sestina. She was an archer who had served in the high-elven armies in the early parts of her life.
A violent battle had though ended up leaving her without memory, and after wandering around the world without purpose she later joined a band of adventurers
That had been a good move, as both her and the others of that band were now quite famous.
She smiled, and looked up at the dawning sun.
For the first time in many years it was not cold in Blackwind mountains, as they had finally freed the black peaks of their necromantic tyrants.
It was a cause of great joy as she saw the heat slowly melt the rime off the dead trees.
She pulled out her bow and started tightening the string, all while thinking about the recent events.
Not long ago, she and the other from her group had besieged the Necromancer's Fortress, Necropia, and slain the archlich that slept in it's catacombs.
As they left Necropia, now stripped of un-life, they were met by the cheering inhabitants of Blackwind Mountains, and they were hailed as heroes.
But there were also someone else waiting for them.
Among the masses of rejoicing peasants stood Xall Planebreaker, a man that held power greater than most gods.
As he moved from the masses, silence fell on the crowd.
He walked up to the group, stopping in front of Mourg, a powerful magi whose knowledge in teleportation magic had proved quite useful during the group's adeventures.
Xall held out his hand in a demanding fashion, looked at Mourg and said “Hand it over. Now.”
Mourg stared at Xall and smiled.
“No.” he said firmly.
A murmur went through the crowd, and Xall's facial expression stiffened.
“You will give it to me, Mourg, or I will make quite sure that you will never get a closer look at it.”
He said in a voice not inviting disobedience.
Still, Mourg smiled.
“I am quite aware of what it is, Xall. You shall not have the Planebreaker.”
The Planebreaker.
An artifact of such power that it could cut off planar-travel on an entire plane, and prevent the use of magic that affected the flow of time.
The old Headmaster of Necropia had crafted it to even the odds in a battle against Xall, and had ironically enough named it after him.
But Xall had found out about the Headmaster's project and had taken care of it in his own violent way.
The Planebreaker itself was thought destroyed, but apparently Mourg had found it in the depths of Necropia.
As Mourg denied Xall the Planebreaker, Xall changed.
His facial expression changed so violently and so suddenly that it's change alone made the closest of the peasants step back.
From his back two wings sprouted out.
They were pitch-black, like those of Taiion, another one of the group's members.
Xall roared as the rest of his body gained the same color as his wings.
In a matter of seconds, he was transformed into a winged shadow as dark as the night.
A surprisingly huge shadow.
Xall roared again, and the crowd begun fleeing frantically in all available directions.
As Sestina and her group, later to be known as The Blackwind Lords, drew their weapons, Mourg gestured at them to stop.
The shadow, now towering above them, raised it's right arm to strike down upon the unfortunate adventurers.
As it's arm soared through the air like a bolt of thunder, Mourg closed his eyes and mumbled a silent spell.
Then, faster than even Sestina's eyes could follow, he pulled out the Planebreaker.
The was a flash, and an indescribable sound thundered through the air.
The shadow screamed.
Xall lay on the ground, unconscious.
Stupid as they were, the group had left Xall there.
When he regained consciousness he was furious.
He had been beaten by a mortal, a simple mage.
The mere thought caused him to, quite casually, raise a small army of undead creatures and send them at the nearest village.
But it did not soothe his range.
The weapon that could lead to his demise was in the hands of a mortal.
And to make it worse the mortal hated him.
The Shadow screamed.
Xall had gone on a rampage, using his powers over time to cause havoc around the world.
It had taken three gods to prevent him from simply destroying creation.
The Blackwind Lords had then been charged with taking care of him, and after some very long discussions they ended up with a plan that involved the Planebreaker, Sestina and a One-on-One duel with Xall.
That is why Sestina sat there in the Bone Wastes.
She had challenged Xall to a duel, which he at first denied her.
But when she threatened to use the Planebreaker's full potential to permanently cut off all planar travel and time magic, a threat she had no intentions of ever carrying out, he had no choice but to come.
And as the first drop of water fell from one of the thawing trees, she saw him walking towards her.
Sestina gazed into the horizon, her eyes concentrating on the figure that slowly approached her from beyond. The assassin's lips moved to form a devilish smirk.
Xall walked closer towards Sestina. His face locked in a grim snarl.
In his hand he held his soulblade, a cruel dagger with more barbs than a whale fisherman's harpoon.
Sestina stood, her hand grasping the base of the legendary Planebreaker intensely, as an uncertain breeze crept through the wasteland.
Xall moved towards Sestina at a still distressingly slow pace.
With his left hand he begun drawing strange symbols in the air, whispering swift spells and curses as he walked towards the lone elf.
The high elf began to grow impatient, but utilized the time she had by examining her opponent. With her remaining hand, she grabbed Lichenbane, her bow, and her eyes suddenly became pupilless. The world, to her, vanished to nothing but hazy black. White lines soon formed, outliniing the wasteland, and Xall's figure appeared, decorated with various red and green dots. Aim for the red, green if desperate, she thought to herself.
Xall stopped, noticing Sestinas sudden change of appearance from afar.
He threw his dagger into the air, casting a swift spell with both hands while it was airbourne, catches it again and then charges towards Sestina with such great speed that the action in and of itself eminates magic.
Sestina yelped at the suddenness of his charge, the red and green dots in her vision swaying violently and constantly changing as Xall's arms and legs moved. She was quick to withdraw an arrow from her quiver and placed it against her bow as her arm outstretched and the bow rose to equal the height of her shoulder. The arrow seemed to quiver with energy. She unleashed it as it spread into five different arrows only little more than half an inch apart. The arrows sliced through the air towards Xall, and despite not finding a target yet, another arrow materialized in her hand.
Xall was taken aback by the swift reaction of the Elf and jumped to the side in order to dodge the arrows.
He narrowly succeeds, one of the arrows ripping apart the leather straps holding together the chainmail armour on his left arm.
Another red dot appeared on the body of Xall as she let her arrow go once more.
"Accursed archer!" Xall yells and does a rather acrobatic backflip, avoiding the arrow.
He lands on his feet, throws his soulblade into the air again, pulls out a pair of throwing daggers and hurls them at Sestina.
Sestina smirks, throwing Lichenbane to the heavens mockingly, and graciously leaps out of the way of the daggers. Lichenbane fell down and into her hands. "Rather impressed myself doing that," she commented.
Xall smiles and let's his dagger fall to the ground instead of catching it.
As soon as it's tip touches the earth's surface, a shockwave of power is shot out from it.
As the burst spreads out through the air, Xall spreads out his arms like as if he is snatching the newly released energy-mid air.
With his hands moving in a blur he begins drawing symbols in the air again, and around his dagger the earth slowly begins cracking.
Sestina felt the earth quake with rage under her feet and placed the arrow to her bow, this time igniting it with a dancing flame, and aiming it at his chest.
Suddenly, Xall stops moving.
His eyes are aflame with energy and as the arrow comes within range he makes one quick move with his right hand, picking it out of the air.
He sticks it into the ground next to his dagger, and green flames start sprouting from the glowing cracks.
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2009
- Messages
- 2,999
Reading that near brought a tear to my eye.
Your introduction doesn't do the wealth of lore justice Dragonson, I'm glad to have played/play even a small part in it.
Brilliant to see it finally make the transition between RP and Story and I love how you've shared the work load, it's worked surprisingly well... not once did I notice author transitions.
Keep it up but try not to keep me waiting too long. I hunger for more!
Your introduction doesn't do the wealth of lore justice Dragonson, I'm glad to have played/play even a small part in it.
Brilliant to see it finally make the transition between RP and Story and I love how you've shared the work load, it's worked surprisingly well... not once did I notice author transitions.
Keep it up but try not to keep me waiting too long. I hunger for more!
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2009
- Messages
- 4,787
Thank you gray.
It makes me happy that you think so.
I will pass on your words to Wolfe, and we will try not to keep you waiting.
It makes me happy that you think so.
I will pass on your words to Wolfe, and we will try not to keep you waiting.
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2008
- Messages
- 1,603
And more you shall have... later!Reading that near brought a tear to my eye.
Your introduction doesn't do the wealth of lore justice Dragonson, I'm glad to have played/play even a small part in it.
Brilliant to see it finally make the transition between RP and Story and I love how you've shared the work load, it's worked surprisingly well... not once did I notice author transitions.
Keep it up but try not to keep me waiting too long. I hunger for more!
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2009
- Messages
- 2,999
Cheers Vizel, appreciated as always =)
- Joined
- Jan 30, 2009
- Messages
- 1,067
Also, I decided to link to it, that way it's easier to find.
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2010
- Messages
- 101
can i judge?
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- Mar 13, 2010
- Messages
- 1,172
@Grey Nightmare, thanks for the encouragment.
Peper is busy on the story now, and hopfuly we'll be getting out a W.I.P sometime in the week, if all goes well.
Peper is busy on the story now, and hopfuly we'll be getting out a W.I.P sometime in the week, if all goes well.
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Dominate is working on the story right now, and he hasn't done much.. lol hope we get it on time.
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- 1,603
The Bone Wastes embraced the golden rays of the sun openly. It had been years since light had touched the surface, and the land had been starved of all life. It was purely barren, much like the hearts and minds of its now-destroyed owners. Upon a pile of bones, resting in the middle of this arid place sat a woman of elven descent. A beautiful emerald shroud caressed her delicate figure, hung together by a brooch of an obsidian raven on her chest. Her innocent turquoise eyes gazed out onto the desolation as a brief wind swayed her hair, splitting it into ivory strands that flickered like white flames. Beside her was a long, shimmering violet bow and in her hands, was a crude yet deathly looking hammer. Her face did not show any signs of aging, a trademark of her race, as she frowned with impatience. This woman was Sestina Lamente, a once decorated scout, spy and assassin amongst the high elven rank in the early parts of her life. However, she was unable to recall such events, as a violent battle had left her mind scathed and without any recollection of her early life. She wandered the world as an outsider, but then formed a bond with a group of adventurers. Now, she is once more a hero, not just to her people, but also to the thousands who inhabit the lands around these lands.
She smiled, and looked up at the dawning sun. For the first time in many years, the Blackwind Mountains nested under the light of the sun. Once, this land was imbrued by the taint of undeath, but with partial thanks to Sestina, the necromantic tyranny that dominated the black peaks no longer haunted these lands. As she saw the heat slowly melt the rime from the dead trees, and tiny, transparent droplets of ooze disappeared as it touched the ground, joy filled her heart. She contemplated the events of the past few years, and slowly broke the illusion of reality and came to stroll down memory lane.
It was a magnificent autumn morning as the band of adventurers that slaughtered the impurities of the mountains and razed the necromancer’s fortress, Necropia, strode into the city square of <insert name here>. The group had marched proudly up the steps of the town hall, greeted by the inhabitants of the entire Blackwind Mountains. They had noted that these masses exceeded the amount of homes this village could contain. The group was delighted by the cries of joy emanating from the crowd for their efforts in slaying the Archlich of Necropia.
Amongst the peasants was Xall Planebreaker, a man that held power greater than most of the pantheon of gods. As he angrily weaved through the masses like a snake in the summer bush, silence fell upon the crowd. Like a storm, he paraded to the steps, and his gaze met with a powerful magus named Mourg. Xall outstretched his arm and unclenched his fist, and in his eyes fire danced with fury. “Hand it over,” he demanded, pausing for a moment of tension. “Now.”
A smile came to Mourg’s dark green lips as the two gazed into each other. “No,” he said firmly.
The crowd murmured to each other, entertained by the suspense between the group and the massive man. Behind Mourg, the group’s hands slithered to the hilts of their weapons. Xall’s expression stiffened.
“Orc, you will give it to me, or I will be sure that you never get a closer look at it.” His tone was cold and dark, and did not invite disobedience.
“I am quite aware of what it is, Xall. You will not have the Planebreaker.”
The crowds quivered with shock as the name of the mysterious weapon resonated throughout the blackened peaks. The Planebreaker was a treasured legend amongst weaponry, a masterpiece of magical blacksmithing and enchantment. It held power that could sever any travel between planes and prevent the use of chronomancy. The Headmaster of Necropia forged the weapon to defeat Xall and ironically named it after him. However, Xall discovered the project and its rationale and was quick to destroy it and its masters. The Planebreaker, however, survived the tempest of magic and rage Xall let loose upon Necropia. Rather, years later, the orc sorcerer discovered it hidden deep within the shadowy depths of the necromancer’s keep.
As Mourg denied Xall the weapon, the hellion transmogrified.
His facial expression changed so suddenly that the closest serfs stepped away from the city hall. From his back sprouted two pitch-black wings. Xall roared as the rest of his body changed to the colour of his wings. In a matter of seconds, he was a living epitome of shadow – a winged demon as dark as the night. From his mouth, he unleashed another loud roar and the masses dispersed like sands falling from a curious child’s hands. The Blackwind Lords, as the group came to be known, withdrew their weapons rapidly. Mourg raised his hand and motioned for them to stop.
The shadow, now towering above them, raised its right arm to smite his challengers. As its arm came crashing to the earth like a falling star, Mourg closed his eyes and began to mumble silently. Then, faster than even Sestina’s hawk eyes could follow, he withdrew the Planebreaker. A flash dominated her view, and an indescribable sound thundered through the crisp, autumn winds. The shadow wailed and reverted to what little humanity he had left and lay there, unconscious.
Stupid as they were, the group had left Xall there. When he regained consciousness, he was furious. A mortal, a simple mage, had bested him. The mere thought caused him to, quite casually, raise a small army of undead creatures and violently destroy the nearest village. However, his stirring rage remained unquenched. It remained there, unsatisfied, for a mortal wielded the weapon that could very well result in his demise. Additionally, that same mortal hated him.
The Shadow screamed, and thus began his rampage. Village after village was crushed by the shadowy grasp of Xall Planebreaker His rampage was so fierce that it took three gods to prevent him from destroying creation itself. The gods charged the Blackwind Lords with dispatching him. After much deliberation, the Planebreaker came to the hands of Sestina, and she was to face the Shadow in a duel that would hopefully end his existence.
Thus, Sestina sat in the wasteland, waiting impatiently. She first attempted to lure the demon out into the open to do battle. However, he denied her, and thus she resulted to threats. In her hands, the Planebreaker thundered slightly, and she provoked him by saying that she would use the power of the ancient hammer, a threat she had no intention of following through. Yet, Xall could not take the risk, and so he appeared in the horizon…
She smiled, and looked up at the dawning sun. For the first time in many years, the Blackwind Mountains nested under the light of the sun. Once, this land was imbrued by the taint of undeath, but with partial thanks to Sestina, the necromantic tyranny that dominated the black peaks no longer haunted these lands. As she saw the heat slowly melt the rime from the dead trees, and tiny, transparent droplets of ooze disappeared as it touched the ground, joy filled her heart. She contemplated the events of the past few years, and slowly broke the illusion of reality and came to stroll down memory lane.
It was a magnificent autumn morning as the band of adventurers that slaughtered the impurities of the mountains and razed the necromancer’s fortress, Necropia, strode into the city square of <insert name here>. The group had marched proudly up the steps of the town hall, greeted by the inhabitants of the entire Blackwind Mountains. They had noted that these masses exceeded the amount of homes this village could contain. The group was delighted by the cries of joy emanating from the crowd for their efforts in slaying the Archlich of Necropia.
Amongst the peasants was Xall Planebreaker, a man that held power greater than most of the pantheon of gods. As he angrily weaved through the masses like a snake in the summer bush, silence fell upon the crowd. Like a storm, he paraded to the steps, and his gaze met with a powerful magus named Mourg. Xall outstretched his arm and unclenched his fist, and in his eyes fire danced with fury. “Hand it over,” he demanded, pausing for a moment of tension. “Now.”
A smile came to Mourg’s dark green lips as the two gazed into each other. “No,” he said firmly.
The crowd murmured to each other, entertained by the suspense between the group and the massive man. Behind Mourg, the group’s hands slithered to the hilts of their weapons. Xall’s expression stiffened.
“Orc, you will give it to me, or I will be sure that you never get a closer look at it.” His tone was cold and dark, and did not invite disobedience.
“I am quite aware of what it is, Xall. You will not have the Planebreaker.”
The crowds quivered with shock as the name of the mysterious weapon resonated throughout the blackened peaks. The Planebreaker was a treasured legend amongst weaponry, a masterpiece of magical blacksmithing and enchantment. It held power that could sever any travel between planes and prevent the use of chronomancy. The Headmaster of Necropia forged the weapon to defeat Xall and ironically named it after him. However, Xall discovered the project and its rationale and was quick to destroy it and its masters. The Planebreaker, however, survived the tempest of magic and rage Xall let loose upon Necropia. Rather, years later, the orc sorcerer discovered it hidden deep within the shadowy depths of the necromancer’s keep.
As Mourg denied Xall the weapon, the hellion transmogrified.
His facial expression changed so suddenly that the closest serfs stepped away from the city hall. From his back sprouted two pitch-black wings. Xall roared as the rest of his body changed to the colour of his wings. In a matter of seconds, he was a living epitome of shadow – a winged demon as dark as the night. From his mouth, he unleashed another loud roar and the masses dispersed like sands falling from a curious child’s hands. The Blackwind Lords, as the group came to be known, withdrew their weapons rapidly. Mourg raised his hand and motioned for them to stop.
The shadow, now towering above them, raised its right arm to smite his challengers. As its arm came crashing to the earth like a falling star, Mourg closed his eyes and began to mumble silently. Then, faster than even Sestina’s hawk eyes could follow, he withdrew the Planebreaker. A flash dominated her view, and an indescribable sound thundered through the crisp, autumn winds. The shadow wailed and reverted to what little humanity he had left and lay there, unconscious.
Stupid as they were, the group had left Xall there. When he regained consciousness, he was furious. A mortal, a simple mage, had bested him. The mere thought caused him to, quite casually, raise a small army of undead creatures and violently destroy the nearest village. However, his stirring rage remained unquenched. It remained there, unsatisfied, for a mortal wielded the weapon that could very well result in his demise. Additionally, that same mortal hated him.
The Shadow screamed, and thus began his rampage. Village after village was crushed by the shadowy grasp of Xall Planebreaker His rampage was so fierce that it took three gods to prevent him from destroying creation itself. The gods charged the Blackwind Lords with dispatching him. After much deliberation, the Planebreaker came to the hands of Sestina, and she was to face the Shadow in a duel that would hopefully end his existence.
Thus, Sestina sat in the wasteland, waiting impatiently. She first attempted to lure the demon out into the open to do battle. However, he denied her, and thus she resulted to threats. In her hands, the Planebreaker thundered slightly, and she provoked him by saying that she would use the power of the ancient hammer, a threat she had no intention of following through. Yet, Xall could not take the risk, and so he appeared in the horizon…
Drag and I have spent the morning refining our raw awesome. It is still a bit of a WIP, but we're working hard! Hopefully by tomorrow or Monday, we'll have the battle down pact.
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- Joined
- Jan 22, 2010
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- 2,583
Dominate???
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Dominate???
i have trouble spelling ur name so yeah.. dominate sounds cooler anyways
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I know what the word means, but i have trouble spelling it, and it confuses my head when i try to spell it.
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lol IA
At least spell it indom
At least spell it indom
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sounds too much like seldom.
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- May 17, 2010
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Bad news, Due to some unavoidable consequences (Like playing gigs in some bars). Cozythrias and I will be dropping out of the contest :/.
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That is unfortunate news, HellBreed. Anyway, I have updated the list accordingly.
- Crossed out team 2 in the list.
- Added note for future viewers.
- Status
