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Short Story Contest #4 - Great War Stories

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Alright... after weeks of going over possible stories and making several starts, none of which felt any good, I think I have my story idea down. Give me a few days to type up the first thousand words or so for my first WiP. Here is the general plot:
I'll be writing about the events that lead two large empires in a generic fantasy universe to war. One is a mountain-dwelling empire (the Storm Empire) that worships an Eagle and a Lizard, who are the living manifestations of the heavens and the earth respectively. You can guess what their sacred animals are. The other (the Anzi Empire) lives in the thick jungles on one side of these mountains, and worship giant snakes that are supposedly the children of the creator of the universe (which, in fact, isn't too terribly far from the truth).
A middling priest of the Anzi Empire joins a conspiracy to get one of the God Serpents bound to a corrupt noble (more about that in the story). When the noble's plot is uncovered, the priest takes one of the God Serpent eggs as a bargaining chip and flees for the Storm Empire, hoping to find a place amongst them instead. The captain of a
storm Empire border fortress gets caught up in the action, capturing the priest just as the egg is about to hatch. The fortress is then attacked for possession of the recently hatched god, with elite assassins and then an army assaulting the fortress to recapture their god. Eventually, the fortress is overrun, and the defenders slain. However, the God Serpent grows attached to the captain over its stay there, and vouches for his life. This only makes the Anzi Empire angrier, and soon after the events that make up the bulk of the story unfold the Anzi Empire declares war on the Storm Empire for plotting against the Anzi, the abduction of one of their gods, the appalling (for a god) treatment of the captured god and the Storm Empire's attempt to sway the god to their side.
 
Last edited:
Alright... after weeks of going over possible stories and making several starts, none of which felt any good, I think I have my story idea down. Give me a few days to type up the first thousand words or so for my first WiP. Here is the general plot:
I'll be writing about the events that lead two large empires in a generic fantasy universe to war. One is a mountain-dwelling empire (the Storm Empire) that worships an Eagle and a Lizard, who are the living manifestations of the heavens and the earth respectively. You can guess what their sacred animals are. The other (the Anzi Empire) lives in the thick jungles on one side of these mountains, and worship giant snakes that are supposedly the children of the creator of the universe (which, in fact, isn't too terribly far from the truth).
A middling priest of the Anzi Empire joins a conspiracy to get one of the God Serpents bound to a corrupt noble (more about that in the story). When the noble's plot is uncovered, the priest takes one of the God Serpent eggs as a bargaining chip and flees for the Storm Empire, hoping to find a place amongst them instead. The captain of a
storm Empire border fortress gets caught up in the action, capturing the priest just as the egg is about to hatch. The fortress is then attacked for possession of the recently hatched god, with elite assassins and then an army assaulting the fortress to recapture their god. Eventually, the fortress is overrun, and the defenders slain. However, the God Serpent grows attached to the captain over its stay there, and vouches for his life. This only makes the Anzi Empire angrier, and soon after the events that make up the bulk of the story unfold the Anzi Empire declares war on the Storm Empire for plotting against the Anzi, the abduction of one of their gods, the appalling (for a god) treatment of the captured god and the Storm Empire's attempt to sway the god to their side.

The idea is very nice, i really like it :) Although i hope you will be going into the details as well.
 
Level 13
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Everything I do seems to clash with the lore. Can anyone suggest a name for Elves that are corrupted by Ner'zhul? (do I have it right here?)

San'layn. Are in actual lore.

Edit: Crazy Cow, that seems like a way too large-scaled plot for a 5000 word story. Short stories can't really be that epic or have much lore. I suggest you save that one for your free time - if you like writing, that is.
 
Level 10
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Jan 24, 2009
Messages
606
Hmm... WIP TIME:)
Its not a big Story so far:) Only 357 words. But still:) Hope you like it so far.

The axe came right towards me; I didn’t know what to do. It was like my mind was stuck to one screen. Someone pushed me out of the way, it was him! It was Alexandros, the great legend that had leaded our country to victory in many battles. I didn’t know what to think, or say for that matter. I just couldn’t believe that he would save a mere foot soldier like me. The moment went so quickly, I didn’t know what to do. “Get back to the fight soldier!” his voice was so strong, and so powerful. I could see why people would follow him to the death. I started to shake my head to get my mind in place and then I took up my sword and started fighting, then I woke up. The light of the lanterns blinded me for a moment, and then I saw the beautiful face lying over me. Her hair was long, and black-darkish. “What is it, honey?” her voice was soft and calm, but yet firm, “Did you have that dream again?” I moved to the end of the bed and sat there. “Yes, it keeps showing up. I know it was a long time ago, but the memories of Alexandros and the war keeps coming back. It won’t go away, I’ve tried everything! I’ve even talked to the city mage, but he just say that he can’t do anything about it. He says I’m stuck with it for all eternity.” I felt a soft hand stroke my back as I started at the floor. It was just too hard to live life after it; it had taken me five whole years just to get back to my normal routines.
Someone knocked at the door. I went towards to open it, when it suddenly smashed open. A man with a guard outfit and a sword in his hand stood right in front of me. He saw down at me, then he called two guards to him and they grabbed me. I tried to resist, but the guards were too strong. The streets were empty, except the guards and me.


Please give me some critesism and some comments on it:)
And please let the comments be better then "THIS SUCKED" cause those comments sucks:)
 
Level 3
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Nov 16, 2009
Messages
66
Ok, so i am entering the contest too(is still can right?)
Heres a WIP(its 910 words so far):
The sun was setting. The sky was red like the dying flame. There were some clouds in the sky, but they were very strange. Some times a lightning ragged down from them, sometimes rain started falling, and then suddenly stopped. Once in a while a meteor pierced through them, leaving holes.
Beneath the clouds, in the air, armies of flying creatures were biting, scratching, spiting fire and trying to kill any way they could. Blood was showering onto the ground, where another battle was going on. Two armies – an army of humans and a three times bigger army of bloodthirsty creatures. Though the human army was smaller, they were not going to give up. They were trying to fight their way to a big castle that the creatures were protecting.
In front of the human army stood their leader – a tall man, whose face wasn’t visible because of his helm that had two wings on both sides. His armor was grey, and he had a sword, that wasn’t very long, but its blade was very wide. All the creatures who stood in his way died.
It looked like the humans could win, because they had mages a lot stronger that the ones the monsters had. Until suddenly, the castle gates opened, and out of it marched more of the bloodthirsty beasts. A human shouted in desperation, when he saw that. Their leader looked at the gates that were still opened and took out a little hourglass from his backpack. When he turned it around, and sand started to shift, time has stopped, and the only one who could still move was the man who held the hourglass.
He rushed to the castle gate and ran into the castle. A few moments later, the sand in the hourglass ran out and time started flowing again. When that happened the hourglass broke and fell down. The glass remained, but the sand has disappeared. The warrior rushed through the hallway, then up the stone stairs, until he reached a steel door.
He raised his sword and hit the door. He repeated that a few times, and then kicked it out. The folded steel door flew into the room beyond. The leader of the human army walked into the room.
It was a spacious room, with walls made out of black marble. A black carpet went through it to a black throne, made out of a strange material. In front of the throne stood a man, who looked similar to the human leader, but his armor was black, and he didn’t have a helm, but instead, he had a hood. The hood covered his face, only his mouth was visible. He had grey as stone skin, and a narrow smile. The dark king’s weapon was a scepter with spikes, so it could be used as a flail. The human warrior let his sword down and then said:
- You can still stop… - The black king stopped the warrior in the middle of his sentence, and then in a withered tired voice said:
- It’s too late for me, you know that, so why do you even offer it? Lets just finish this, both of us can’t live. - After that he ran towards the human captain with his scepter-weapon raised. The warrior took a battle stance and waited.
Then the fight began. Both of them were fighting with all their inhuman speed and strength. Both of them used magic, and other skills that made the whole castle shake. When they couldn’t use another spell, the warrior raised his sword and tried to kill the king in a mortal blow, but the king hit the sword from a side with his scepter, and the sword broke into two halves. A spike from the scepter also fell down.
The black king laughed and raised his scepter in a final attack, but the warrior grabbed the spike from the ground and tried to stab the king. It was too late. The mighty captain fell on the floor, almost dead. He survived, because he moved away enough, so the blow wouldn’t be deadly. The black king slowly approached, like the grim Death.
The warrior rose with his remaining strength. His both sword and armor were shattered. He dropped the helm that was now useless. His face was quite young, but his expression was like an old mans, who is tired from life. Warrior’s eye color was white, but not like his eyeballs. His hair was brown, it was quite long, but didn’t reach his shoulders. In his hand, the human captain was still holding a spike from the scepter.
With a roar he rushed towards the black king, who laughed. Captain raised the spike, like a knife, while the king raised his scepter. When the warrior reached the king, the black king landed his weapon, but not fast enough, because the warrior had already stabbed him with the spike. Then both of them fell to the floor.
The king died instantly, because the spike struck him into the hearth. The warrior fell down still alive, but without hope to survive, since he was bleeding too much, and because he was mortally wounded. Before his death, a soldier rushed into the throne room, but he couldn’t help the great warrior. The captain looked sad, but relieved before death. He gave the soldier some kind of an orb, and then, died.
 
Level 13
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Interesting story, lateris, but your grammar needs vast improvements. You use way too many commas, and a kind of muted language, if you know what I mean.

Also, er, does that hourglass get to have background lore? A completely random tide-turner is kinda off.

Lastly, you misspelled "heart." A hearth is a fireplace.
 
Level 3
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66
Yes, i know my grammar isnt good, thats becouse im not from America or England. Oh and about the hourglass - theres a story about that later. Thanks for the comment!
 
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Fire in the Sky

I'm subscribing. Here is my works.

“Quatrevents await their heroes! Join now the Sky Army!”

Tanarius had never seen a recruiting poster of the Sky Army yet. Of course he had heard of the Sky Army. It was created at the beginning of the century, when the steam engines started to work efficiently enough to send small structures of wood, leather and metal in the air, and keep them in, along with some weapons. Until now, all Tanarius had heard about the Sky Army was that it was a very small group of elite noblemen, wealthy enough to pay the construction and the lookout of a plane. And seeing a plane really was an exception. Tanarius one had seen one. I t was when Sire Longvilliers came at the hotel, he brought his plane with him. He had parked it in the backyard, and all the people came to see it. Tanarius was only eleven at this time. He managed to get through the crowd, and to see, beyond a strong iron fence, guarded by several soldiers, a twenty-foot long bird-like machine, with large wings made of leather taut by wood sticks, each one bearing a steam engine and a propeller. On the long, thin, wooden body, between the two wings, a big steel tank, with many pipes. At the bottom, a tail, also made of leather and wood, and at the front, a strong steel peak, protecting a saddle and some mysterious levers. On the peak, Tanarius could read “The Four Winds”, as two blue arrows were painted on each wing. The Sky Army was mostly seen as the evolution of the early knights, who defended the kingdom of Quatrevents from the invaders and the other kingdoms, until the discovery and the large use of firearms. The dwarves had discovered the gunpowder, probably by accident, but only the humans had enough imagination to use all the power of destruction of it.

Tanarius was now seventeen, and he could sonly get out of the orphanage. Nobody knew where he came from, the priest who discovered him called him Tanarius, by the name of an ancient hero, who fought the dwarves (Quatrevents was at war against the dwarves, at this time). That was all Tanarius knew about himself. He just lived with this, considering that, anyway, no one could know the origin of the human kind.
More than one year had now passed since he had seen the Sky Army poster. Now, we could see them everywhere, the Sky Army and the Sky Navy. Quatrevents was at war, against the northern kingdom of Crimson. There had been many wars between Quatrevents and Crimson, mostly for colonial purposes, mostly won by Crimson. This time, the fight had taken another dimension. The main area of conflict was over the western seas, but, apart of some naval battles at the beginning, both sides were fighting in the airs. Crimson firstly made large use of planes and air fleets, using airships as bases. Quatrevents nearly lost all of their sea ships, harassed by the uncountable clouds of planes, and bombed by the unreachable airships. That brought Crimson to have full control of all of the western lands, cutting Quatrevents off their colonies. Now, the whole war happened in the skies. And Quatrevents started to build large plane workshops, and huge alchemy laboratories to make gases and fuel for the Sky Navy. The time of the knights was gone, again.
Tanarius was reading at the orphanage library, when a priest came and talked to him :
“Tanarius ?
-Yes, saint ?
-You know you’re now seventeen…
-Yes.
-And you’ll so be able to live your own life…
-Yes, I won’t be under the orphanage authority anymore, and I’ll leave…
-Tanarius, are you a patriot ?”
Tanarius’ eyes kept wide open. He had immediately understood what it was about. As a state building, the orphanage had to help the country by all the ways it could. In times of war, the most appreciated way was to give orphans. Tanarius was not really afraid of war-though he did not know why he arrived in an orphanage-what really scared him was that Quatrevents was losing this war. And it had never been a good thing to be in a losing army. Tanarius slowly closed his book, and carefully put it back in the shelf, among the others, and headed for his room.
“Happy to see you’ve understood, Tanarius. May gods help you.” There was sadness in the priest’s voice, but Tanarius thought it would be even scarier if there were happiness.
(to be continued)
 
Level 13
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I just cut 767 words off my story after not having written anything for two days because it was lame.

Oh, the agony!

New idea is cool though.
 
Level 12
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I have a quick question. If I'm going to make mine around 5000 words, can I like make the first 2000 words without a war? Cause at the beginning theres just a few raids and some of the main characters are trying to overthrow the king, which will cuase the war.
 
Level 4
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Apr 10, 2010
Messages
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Oh, there's a WIP deadline? I'll join up.

As I gazed out upon the shimmering golden sunset, I couldn't help but feel a sense of relaxation and appeasement. It was the calm before the storm. My men and I basked in our last moments of peace as we readied our defenses.

My name is Adantis. I am only twenty years of age, and I am already a general of an army. I had always lived in a quiet, mundane farming village until nearly a year ago when I was introduced to a powerful blade that belonged to my father. The blade allows its wielder to control the elements and bend them to his will. This blade, the Spirit Blade, had plunged me into the heart of a war that has secretly been raging on for centuries.

The assault upon our city was of no ordinary army. There was a demon, Vordox, who had acquired a blade like mine. He was a creature of pure darkness with no second thoughts or inhibitions. His first priority was to destroy my blade, because the Spirit Blade was the only weapon in the known world that posed a true threat against him and his Demon Blade.

On this darkening day, my brethren and I were solely in the hands of fate. In the distance, we could see the demonic army marching upon our lands. I remember my body wanting to tremble, but I held strong so that my men would not allow their will to be crushed. The odds of us winning were slim, but the Spirit Blade had proven itself beyond a doubt in the past. Still, many lives would be sacrificed, and we were all more than aware of that fact.

The demon army stopped dead in their tracks. Their pause alarmed us since they were much too far away to begin a structural charge. As our thoughts stirred, the demons lit all of their torches at once and began rushing toward the castle walls. It must have been a method of intimidating us. It worked.

Our archers began to panic, not knowing if they should begin shooting at the chaotic rushers or not. I yelled out to hold their fire as I waited to see what the demons' next course of action would be. They didn't stop.

"FIRE!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. The archers took out a few waves of demons, but their numbers never seemed to dwindle. What was even worse was that these demons didn't show fear of pain or death in any way. With my sword swung high into the air, I signaled to the solders to ready their swords and shields. I closed my eyes as I prepared myself for the chaos that was about to take place. I then aimed my blade toward the demon army to initiate our defensive assault. I dashed forward with all of my soldiers trailing closely behind me.

From afar, I never realized how large the demons were. They stood at about a size and a half of an average human. Their skin was charred with large gashes leading down most of their faces. Their raiment consisted of hides from many large mammals, but mostly wolf skins, bear skins and human skulls. They wielded a large variety of spiked melee weapons that could easily deal fatal blows. The closer we got to them, the more menacing their features appeared.

I approached the first wave of demons that made it past the archers. They were thinned out quite well. I took the initiative by zigzagging toward a small group of demons. I seemed to startle them as I leaped up with a whirlwind swing of the Spirit Blade and catapulted an arm off one of them. Apparently they had some form of fear after all.

I heard many human cries of pain echo across the battlefield. My men weren't prepared for the terrible crushing power of the demons. They couldn't have known what to expect as they had never fought an enemy this powerful before. I knew I couldn't let the demons' surprising strength hinder me as well.

I brought my attention back to the two demons left standing behind the one I had just cut. One of them charged at me with his weapon raised high. Pathetic. I crouched down and proceeded to slice him diagonally upward across his chest. The other demon was prepared for this and flailed his weapon down low toward me. I narrowly blocked his blow with the Spirit Blade. The demon was incredibly strong and pushed me backwards while his weapon was pressed against my parried blade. I then felt his grip loosen only slightly and took that opportunity to break free. I lunged backwards to gather my momentum back.

I heard a scream coming toward me from up above. It was one of the soldiers being thrown by a demon. His body landed just in front of me. With the shock of this event, I hadn't noticed one of the demons flanking me from the right. Luckily, an arrow shot through his head from one of the archers on the wall. I realized the danger was getting too close for comfort, so it was time to unleash the power of the Spirit Blade.

I took a few more steps back and raised my blade up in front of me. My men knew what was about to happen, so they pushed their fighting away from me. I closed my eyes and envisioned the earth shifting below me as I had been taught to. The Spirit Blade glowed a vibrant shade of orange, and the ground in front of me began to hiss and rumble. The demons in the area began to scatter but were not lucky enough to escape what was to come next. The ground cracked apart, leading a trail from me into a dense region of the demon army. Nearly a dozen of the bewildered demons were swallowed into the cracks. The ground then closed, leaving a giant scar within the rocky earth.

What I had done had taken a lot of my energy from me. I could hardly walk, but I crept back away from the fray as I regained my combat stance. I used the adrenaline rush I had gotten from causing the quake to push myself out into the battle once again as I darted forward with two of my close comrades. They were well aware of the strain the blade causes on my body, so they aided in my assault to take out a few more of the demons before a roaring horn was sounded.

I knew this was the warning of the demons' second wave. With such an incredible display of power from the first wave, I had forgotten how endless their army appeared as they were marching toward us before the battle began. I felt a cold chill burrow down my spine.
 
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Level 10
Joined
May 20, 2008
Messages
433
Wip:
//Classified Information
\>Name: The Haumean War
\>Entry Key: *****2150
//Archives Retrieved

\>Entry Name: The Projects

March 24, 2146, the day the Sol Defense Initiative had set to launch their current project, Station H-13. Haumea has such a small population that there is no reason to keep something like that a secret. Officer John Williams had waited for this day since it began construction 5 years ago. The Station Project was his reason for joining the SDI. To see the final Station launch is just unthinkable.
John had been assigned to the control tower. Once the station launched, he would board a shuttle to follow it up and help it get into proper order… that is if the station gets into space. Station H-09 had the same goal as this one, just never made it into orbit, let alone space. John knew this would be tense. A Mobile Space Station is a very fragile thing. Station H-09 had a small tear in one of its fluorine pipes, and it detonated within 5 minutes of launch. Station H-13 would need more then just luck, it requires skill.
“Officer Williams! I have a message for you.” A man said as he approached John
“Awe crap.”
“Don’t be so negative. I’m ensured it will not move you away from the launch. I can’t say much more, but that I know.”
“Well, thanks anyways. Lets see:
Mr. John Williams
You are to head to Shuttle 17. I know you really want to be at the platform for the launch, but we need you in this shuttle ASAP. We are expected to launch at 12:53, 2 minutes before the station, so you can’t miss too much.
~Sergeant Cole Oskith
Well, so much for the launch. Sarg wants me in a shuttle.”
“What a shame. Well think of it this way, you will be much closer to the station when it launches.”
“It just wont be the same. Well off to go find Shuttle 17.”
The launch platform in Haumea’s capital is divided up into 3 massive sectors: The Space Station Launch Platform, which was probably the size of the city itself. John knew exactly why, Station H-06 was their largest station, built on 2 levels. It was so large that the station was moved out into the wastelands. It was a wonder how it made it into orbit. The Shuttle Launch Platform was much smaller, holding up to 50 shuttles. Nothing big ever happens there. The Cargo Launch Platform is the third sector. Traders and cargo ships mainly use it. Occasionally an actual SDI battle cruiser would land for a complete reconstruction or system overhaul, but that nearly never happens with the stations in orbit being able to do such.
“Hey John, where are you headed?” Asked a tall, thin man wearing an orange uniform, signifying he was part of a Station’s crew, presumably Station H-13
“Being reassigned. I’m to launch before the station. You are a damn lucky man Greg.”
“Well, its not all fun. Station H-13 requires so much fuel that we already emptied 4 tankers, and still require some more. I’m stuck in charge of all this to.”
“Well at least you will be PART of the launch.”
“Yeah, well…” Radio starts beeping “Hold on… Yeah? Ok... Wait, Aw hell. I’ll be right there.” Facing John yet again “It seems we just lost a tanker. This will be fun.”
“If only I went into the astronaut program, I may have ended up on a space station. But no, I went for the military ranks.”
John reached Shuttle 17 and boarded it. Most shuttles now resemble the 21st century shuttles, the basic rectangle with wings. The one difference now is that the shuttles are smaller and more effective at launching like planes, not vertically off a tower. Station H-13 would be going up vertically, using its maneuvering thrusters. Damn those things get hot quick. They expel so much heat so fast that a human would vaporize if caught within 5 meter of the engines when they turn on. It’s what you get when using depolarite engines.
John had been on shuttles before, and Shuttle 17 was no different. He headed towards the cockpit, and found the Sergeant. He was just as tall as John, but much more muscular. He wore the customary white uniform with gold trimming, matching hat and pants, with black shoes. It is the Sol Defense Initiative uniform.
“Ahh, Officer Williams. Glad to have you aboard. I know you really wanted to stay on the launch platform, but we need you. Station H-13 will require a position update once it reaches the flagged zone. We must relay the information and guide it towards The Ensuer. You will be sent aboard the station during this process. You are needed to help start and test all the systems, and help secure the ship incase of traitors.”
“What fun. Really Sarg, if you plan to send me aboard the station later, why not assign me to it now?”
“Then if there is an armed traitor or a group of them, you will be caught with the rest of the crew. They are unaware of the plans of this. Here’s Jean Coulier. He will join you when you enter the station.”
“Hey.”
“Wait, he’s joining me. Why not just give me a pistol to protect 50 lives with too.” John mumbled sarcastically.
“Oh, thanks for reminding me, John.” The Sergeant gave him a captains Precision Pistol.
“Whoa, really! Ok, I take it back. I will use just a pistol to defend an entire space station.”
The Precision Pistol was more then just a pistol. Given to only those who rank higher then Commander, Naval Captain, Commando or those in the Stealth Operatives. John had always wanted to ditch his crap pistol for these, but not even the black markets could snatch them. The pistol is just like any other pistol, it can hold a 20/5mm-bullet clip, and has a 4x magnification scope. However, the PP has a magnetic propulsion device within the firing mechanism. When the trigger is pulled, 2 Barlsk magnets are placed on the opposite sides of the bullet, along with the normal firing stuff that John cared nothing for. The magnets would speed the bullet by at least 5x the speed of a normal pistol. Along with the Barlsk magnets, the PP also has the reputation for most accurate shot. If you want it to shoot a mans eyelash, hitting no more then 2, go right through the head and hit a fishing line placed behind him, the PP will do it 7/10 times. The pistol could also fire as fast as the user could pull the trigger, essentially making a fully automatic pistol. The only downside ever found with it was that it required special ammunition: the .9mm bullet (too small to inflict damage alone, but upon impact, it hits with the impact of a 21st century grenade explosion, plus giving off bits of shrapnel as the bullet passes through). When John first saw its bullets, he thought it was a trick. However, it was not, and the ammunition clips for the gun came in 80’s (the same size as the 20 clips for the 5mm ammo). To John, the Precision Pistol was like gold. Hell, the one he was being given had a pure gold metal fitting on the top.
John took the pistol happily and talked to the pilot. They would launch in less then 60 seconds, and so John quickly sat in the passenger seats. It would be abut an hour before they could do anything else.

//Information Missing
//Error, unable to display data
----
\>Entry Key: *****2150
//Loading Closest Match
\>Entry Name: Contacts

They came without warning. Within 3 months of Station H-13’s flawless launch, and all out war. To John, those years were horrifying memories. It was terrifying for all those involved, like what you may find in a movie.
He lay in his bed, planet side, listening to the sonic booms coming from overhead. It was a pretty peaceful night, perfect for John to remember the day it all started. It wasn’t usually like this, but then again, that was before THEY came.
The Detruns had just been passing through Haumean space when they met the Humans. Considering it was in the same week as Station H-13’s launch, everyone believed that it had attracted some angry killer alien race. However, the Detruns did not react the way people expected.
John had been part of the initial meeting team, considering he was in the closest position. A shuttle was dispatched from Station H-13, carrying 3 people (including John). When getting close to the strange ship, they were brought aboard and met with the head of the ship.
The Detruns were like massive rats. They walked on 4 legs, but had 2 protruding claws coming from right behind their heads. They had a shell over their body, almost like armour, and their normal colour was a red-ish-purple (though shell colour denotes rank in their culture). In size, they were half as tall as a normal human, and about as long as a dog, but had come across as very powerful creatures (though combat had not yet been demonstrated).
After 30 minutes, an entire treaty had been set up, alliances formed, and trade routes set. The Detruns had carried translators, which were quickly changed to work for the English language. Despite the translators, the Detruns insisted on learning English for unknown reasons. It is assumed that it is their custom as they are large traders and wish to keep on the good side of a species.
A few weeks following the Detruns appearance, a ship was found following one of their ships. This ship quickly attacked the Detrun ship when it realized it was found, and purposely avoided any hostile contact with the Humans. It was assumed, and proven later, that these “Netrux” were neutral towards the Humans, but hostile to the Detruns.
Within 2 months after the Netrux were found, 2 more aliens had appeared. One was an enemy to all 3 known species, and they called themselves the “Targens”. A ship was following a destroyed Targen ship, and started the entire war. They were known as the Toros.
The war proved to be extremely violent, and the SDI gathered numerous fleets to counter the massive Toros fleet that appeared and the Netrux ships that hit anything falling outside of the Toros’ range (daring not to get close to their ships).
It’s been 2 full months, and John had gotten used to the usual sonic boom from low orbit battles. No species look as if it was going to give up, but John knew that the Sol Defense Initiative couldn’t send too many more ships. The good side to that is that there wasn’t much war other then the occasional long ranged shot, or a destroyed heading in for some action. At least once a week the Toros would charge the Human and Detrun fleet, destroying at least 5 ships for every 2 they lost, and they always failed.
John couldn’t sleep, and he didn’t know why. He got off his bed and walked toward the bathroom. He was tired, but nothing could prepare him for the loud alarm.

//Data Sequence Stopped
//Restarting System to Repair Failure
----
\>Entry Key: *****2150
//Repairing Failure
\>Entry Name: All out chaos

John jumped while washing his face. The alarm scared the crap out of him. It was not the normal warning or emergency alarm, nor was it a drill alarm. John froze when he came out of his startled state, because he knew exactly what it meant.
It was a higher pitched noise, sending off the wail every half second. Through practice, John knew that it was used for one purpose, enemy ground troops. John fled to his closet, put on his gray under suit, jumped into his officer exo-skeleton, and ran his way towards the designated meeting point (assigned when the protocol was created). He met with 3 others at the end of the hall. One was the Sarg.
“What the hell is goin’ on Sarg?” Asked a nervous marine
“Hell if I know, but we are going to go find it. Where is Jenkins?” Sarg demanded in a strong voice
“He’s always the slow one. If he isn’t here shortly, lets ditch him and head for HQ” John stated
“T Echo, come in Echo. This is HQ.” The Sarg’s radio put through
“This is Echo, HQ. What is going on here?”
“It’s the Toros. They dropped a few drop pods down. Our AA guns couldn’t lock in, they moved so fast. They broke through in around junction A-1 and A-3. Do note that we have had contact with only T Tango other then you. Communications are not blocked, so we suspect either failure to organize, or KIA’s. Whatever it is, get to junction A-3 ASAP.”
“Got that. Echo out.” Sarg canceled the COM line “You heard the man, let’s get Jenkins and head for A-3.”
It wasn’t a long walk to get Jenkins. He ran out of his room right before we got to his door. From there, it was an explanations length to get to junction A-3. However, evacuating civilians and, the barricades built to stop the Toros hindered the task. It felt awkward going into face-to-face combat with a species that you have not seen. Other then the massive hunks of metal that they use for space craft, nobody has seen the Toros. All communication was strictly sound based, and nobody has ever made it into a ship, nor have they come into the Humans.
Sarg sent 2 guys to scout ahead, while the rest directed lost civilians, or worked to establish a small defense close to the junction. John was stuck with the civilians.
“BUT THEY CAME FROM THAT WAY! I CAN’T GO BACK!” Yelled a crazed, half drunk man
“We just came from there. Get back there and head for the shuttles.”
“BUT T…THE TINY BLACK THINGS ARE THERE! THEY WILL EAT ME!”
“What the hell are you saying?”
“THE SPIDER LIKE THINGS. THEY WANT ME.”
“ Look, there are no spiders, and nothing wants to eat you. The others are going, so follow. Stay here, and I’ll kill you.”
“I… I SEE WHAT YOU WANT. YOU WANT ME DEAD. WELL IF I DO DIE, I’ll SUE YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU’VE GOT.” The man yelled as he ran the proper direction.
“Sarg, I can’t deal with this crap no more. You deal with the civs, I’ll see what I can do at base camp.”
“I heard the entire thing, John. You do realize that the spiders he was talking about could be the Toros.”
“Whatever. If the Toros were spiders, how do they use such deep sounds to communicate, and how do the spiders build massive spacecrafts? The guy was just mentally insane, not just drunk. It’s common in this sector.”
“Yeah, yeah. The mental hospital wing is just a few blocks away, so I’m not surprised you think so. If you really are going to leave for base camp, at least help me set up these barricades. I’ll go with you.”
“Sure thing.”
John couldn’t stand mentally unstable people. It’s not that he had anything against them; it’s just that he could not tolerate how they work.
Sarg and John walked back to the base camp (a small room with barricades, ammo, med kits, and a radio set up). It was probably the best you could get within 10 minutes of arrival. Sarg got his info from Jenkins, who was posted at the radio; while John got some ammo for his pistol he received right before boarding Station H-13. The ground started to tremble slightly, and everyone froze. It got louder and stronger every moment.
“CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP! GET READY GUYS!!!” Screamed one of the 2 men running back from scout duty
From around the corner, a blast door shot through the wall, going right through. Everyone watched, guns ready, as the ground shook like an earthquake. The thing was massive, taking up more then half the hallway, easily 1.5x taller then any man, and double the width. It roared while charging toward them.
“FIRE DAMNIT, FIRE!” Yelled Sarg
The thing absorbed the bullets, giving little impression of being hurt. John aimed for the head of the thing, firing his pistol as fast as the others fired their Bolt Gun Assault Rifles. Suddenly, the thing crashed, falling headfirst. It burst through a barrier due to its speed. After it stopped, it lay still. The massive beast, resembling a shorter, but wider, mammoth, had many scars and bullet holes in its skull and frontal region. It wore a large bone mask on its face, which narrowed down to 2 massive tusks emerging from beside the mouth. The creature had 4 massive legs, easily where half its height comes from. The creature was dead, all 4 legs sprawled out, but not bleeding.
“Holy… crap… That thing… is tough…” Stated the guy, breathing as if he ran a marathon “The damn thing… took 15 rounds of… Bolt Gun ammo… and still had full strength…”


I do have a project that is based shortly after this. Definitely a motivator to finish this.
 
Level 6
Joined
May 27, 2007
Messages
162
No starcraft beta key for this one? Meh, I've got a novel kicking about on my hard-drive somewhere, might edit that into a short story and submit it for the Rep!
 
Level 5
Joined
Aug 7, 2008
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Count me in. Here's my WIP:

„It seems to be quite an unusual task to hire mercs for …“ Tracy said, and damn, was she right. Fifteen-Thousand credits – Just for guarding a facility, which, as far as I knew, produced only some heavy metal for the Daumann Engineering Corp., on some lonely planet, the name's „Pfalz“, in the Stuttgart-system, Far away from the Kusari-frontline. I should have cought the catch, but at the moment the offer was made, I was too greedy not to accept it. And now? Deals done, so we might as well just guard that compound. „Come on, Tracy, don't be ever so suspicious. Easy money.“ I said, but I didn't mean it. „We should back off, as long as we still can, Hammer.“ She looks me in the eye, and she knows that I am hesitating. Perhaps we should, I think to myself, but who would hire a coward? „It'll be easy. We just stay there until the contract's expired, then we are on our way to Liberty or Bretonia, throwing money everywhere. Hell, we aren't even alone there! They said they hired several merc groups to secure the facility. Easy credits.“ We sticked to my decision.

That was four days ago, and damn were they easy credits. Now Powell's down, Crack's wounded, and there are Kusari projectiles and lasers all over the place. I'm taking cover behind a crate next to Tracy, occasionally shooting a salve at those Chinks. Normally I can't stand buisness competition, but today I was damn glad that we weren't the only soldiers here. And yet, even though I didn't count their forces, I guess they still outnumber us seven to one. The Rheinland officer we where assigned to was a bloody idiot as well, dreaming of honor and riches. The first few shots hit him in the chest – I guess he didn't feel any pain. The odds are against us, yet we are holding good, but I'm a bloody inveterate yeasayer and I suppose most of the others wouldn't agree with me. „Hell! Easy credits, eh!?“ Tracy shouts, and I hear her loud and clear, and it takes me some seconds to realize that the shooting stopped. Irritated I take a peak over my crate, and see the Kusari barricades, but no firing – Just the sound of a metal thing, landing in grass, just a couple of meters next to me. Shit! „Grenades!“ I shout – The next moment I fall, the shockwave of the explosion throwing me off my feet. After a while I open my eyes, still feeling dizzy, hearing nothing but a piercing, continous „Peeeeeeep“, which instantly starts to annoy me. But from what I see, things are going back. Tracy rushes over to me, she speaks to me, or at least I think so. I see her lips moving, but I don't understand her, so I just nod. She grabs my arm, and drags me toward the main building of the compound, firing at the Chinks over her shoulder. I look around, and what i see, I don't like. We're leaving position, retreating to the HQ. Shortly after we're in, the peeping sound slowly begins to fade, but I wished it was back on. I was used to the sounds of war, but this was, sort of, special. The sound of gunfire, explosions and cries of pain and agony, which suddenly reminded me that my leg hurt badly, so I just followed the urge to sit down and fell upon the floor. I saw Trevor 'Nuke' rushing over to Tracy and me – He was from a rival group, but still a buddy. He asked if I was alright, and all, but I hardly listened to him. I was thinking about all this.

„This is madness! Why do the Kusari attack here, when the main fleet of Rheinland is stationed in the Frankfurt-system, right in front of their doorstep!?“ Trevor shouted, and then I understood. „We're bait.“ I answered calmly. „What do you mean, Hammer?“ Tracy asked me. „Do you think that the Kusari agents wouldn't notice the Rheinländers hiring lots of mercs to guard a compound, somewhere on a lonely planet in Stuttgart?“ I said, my voice shivered now, because of the anger I felt, anger for the Rheinländers to use us, and anger for myself, because I fell for it and dragged my whole group into this mess. „The Kusari must think, this is a research facility or something important like that ...“ Tracy ended my thought in shock. „Correct. While the Kusari dispatched their forces to this system to find whatever the Rheinländers are 'researching' here, the Rheinland-fleet will attack and conquer the Sigma-systems to drive the Kusari back into their homerealm.“ At least that is what I thought. „We're pawns! Sacrifice a pawn to checkmate the bloody Kusari Emperor!“ Nuke started swearing now, and he was good at it. „Calm down, Nuke.“ It was a pathethic attempt of myself to cool his fury, sitting on the floor with hurt, maybe broken legs, fighting against so many reasons to be angry. But someone always got to remain thoughtful. „Calm down!? Are you crazy? We were send here to die! Die, Hammer! And maybe it just takes the Chinks only a couple of minutes more to break down this door and damn, then we are dead!“ - „Not if we surrender ...“ Tracy said, what I had on my mind already. Stop the fighting as long as there are men wounded and alive to be saved. „And rot in a Kusari prison? No thanks.“ Nuke's rage took over control and he was being unreasonable. „Think about it, Nuke: Either you die here for sure, or we may live when we surrender.“ I heard a lout crash at the door. It wouldn't take the Kusari much longer to breach our last stronghold. „There is a jumphole in the Dresden-system. It leads directly to Sigma-13, where the Rheinländers are going to attack the Kusari. If we tell those soldiers out there, they might even be there in time to save whats left to be saved. We might even be damned Kusari war heroes!“ Okay, now I was being hallucinating, but such things happen when you get hit by a grenade. I didn't really think so, yet I saw how Nuke calmed down, nodded briefly and was walking to the radio control. He picked up the mic, and what he said I heard from the speakers, which were scattered all over the compound. „Kusari forces! Here is Trevor 'Nuke' Nuchewski, representative leader of the 'Pfalz Titanium Facility's Military Security'. We surrender. In fact, we might want to tell you a thing or two.“

I have to admit: For being war prisoners we were treated quite well. Maybe it was because we were Liberty mercs and didn't origin from Rheinland. Our wounded were medically treatened, they put us on board of their main cruiser, they didn't divide us up, damn, they even put an extra comfortable bed into my cell, because of my legs. But cells still were cells. And it was crazy. The Kusari were on their way to Sigma-13 which would probably became the decisive victory in this war, of which noone any longer knew why it was even started. For decades, Rheinland and Kusari battled each other in the Sigma border systems, and Sigma-13 was perhaps the worst place to go if you wouldn't want to get involved. At first, I didn't think that the Kusari would believe us. Hell, I don't even think that they do, right now. On the other hand, we are using the Dresden jumpgate, so they got to be in a hurry – And I really hope that what we predicted was true, because otherwise there would be a nice execution in the morning – bring family and popcorn. But if what we said was true, we wouldn't have a good chance to survive anyways. Sigma-13. Damn, Sigma-fu*****-13. Even if we wouldn't be shot right after we arrived through the jumphole, there was a damn good chance that we wouldn't make it to the battle. This whole fleet would have to maneuver it's way through gas nebulas, asteroid fields and acidic clouds. I looked through the window of my cell and saw the psychodelic lights and colours you see when you're traveling in a multi-ton battleship at the speed of light through a hole not even a rabbit should physically fit in. Then I laid back on my bed – my legs are feeling much better since we left Pfalz. Those Kusari medicines are quite the stuff. Then I felt how tired I was, and I was embraced by sleep, sweet old brother sleep.


If you didn't notice, it is placed in the Freelancer-universe, in a war between the Rheinland-Sector and the Kusari-Sector.
 
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Level 16
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Nov 30, 2009
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Mids, I'll say it again. Remove my name from this competition. I have yet to write a single alphabet and I'm having a small stress right now. I won't be able to finish it in time. Seriously. Believe me.
 
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