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Kazya : Rise of the Kek

Discussion in 'Roleplaying' started by Directive255, Jan 19, 2019.

  1. Directive255

    Directive255

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    Overview

    A small roleplay with a lot of freedom, inspired by the fun and crazy first official roleplay of RACC. But not too insane with people trying to overpower each other constantly.

    The general setting is medieval-renaissance fantasy. It began with warlords and bandits scattered all over the place in the fantasy planet of Kazya, as well as a handful of kingdoms and fiefdoms.

    Start!

    Anyone care to start? To war! [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]

    Tagging

    @WhiteFang @Leo Akastenix @pleasancer benediction @Edge45
     
  2. WhiteFang

    WhiteFang

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    muhahaha
     
  3. Directive255

    Directive255

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    *a bunch of portals break open in the skies*
    *around two hundred other people pop from the rifts, and then raining downward crashing onto the forest lands, along with a few scrap metals and damaged wagons*
    *boom*
    *a thin muscular man with babyface gets up, and afterwards pulls a reptilian lady with hair snakes up from the ground*
    *Reptilian Lady clings onto his arm, apparently they are lovers*

    Thin Muscular Man with Babyface : "Ahhhh damn... looks like the fucking spell got fucked up."
    Reptilian Lady with Hair Snakes : "Don't worry, Dehroc. At least we are safe from our foes,"

    *thin muscular man with babyface looks around and then takes a deep breath*
    Dehroc : *looks around* "Ahhhh... yes, Cadusa. Ahhhh, such a long time since I've last breathed some fresh air in peace."
    Cadusa : "Wait, all of this seems and smells very familiar... Yes, Dehroc! This is my homeworld, the planet of Kazya! I miss Kazya very much, but don't worry, I still love you the most."
    Dehroc : *chuckles* "Ahhhh, you sexy lovely snakey lady."

    Dehroc : "Ahhhh, Kazya? The world ridden with lowly bandits and warlords? This sounds awesome. Finally a great place for my dreams and passions. I can easily conquer this backwards world in a matter of years, then I shall build the world empire of my dreams."

    *all the other people gets up from the ground and surrounds the duo*

    Henchman #1 : "But we lost nearly all of our firepowder and machinery, boss! And we are few in numbers! I think the natives could have crushed us easily."
    Dehroc : "Loh. Calm down, boi. Knowledge is power. Most people here are asleep barbarians. But ahhhh yes, we are indeed low in manpower. Any ideas, Cadusa?"
    Henchman #2 : "Oh, also... where the fuck is this hometown of yours, Madam Snake? What are we gonna do here?"
    Cadusa : "We are in the Arkina Forest right now, very close to the borderlands of Arygos. We can pledge our services to the Empire of Arygos. But of course, in the end we all follow and serve Dehroc. *winks at Dehroc* Arygos is by far the most advanced and the largest power here in Kazya, however it is still riddled with tons of issues. We Arygosians just need someone great and mighty like you, Dehroc, to lead and enlighten us. Lead us on the path to world domination, and the world shall be oursssssss... *hisses lovingly*"

    Dehroc : "Ahhhh, sounds great. We'll make a camp and take a rest here though. We are all tired as fuck after that fucked up sorcery. I need around a hundred and forty people to stay with me and Cadusa."

    Henchwoman #1 : "Alright, boss!"

    *sixty henchmen and henchwomen soon split into groups and then went to collect some woods and other materials for camping*

    *however, just several minutes later, the sounds of battle ring from not far away*
    *a few big flames erupt in the woods*

    *sounds of wind magik, gunfire and bayonet stabbing could be heard*
    *sounds of heavy blade, demonic roar, and fiery magik as well*

    Dehroc : "Fuck!"
    Henchman #69 : "Damn. Ah Keong (Henchman #1, minor character) was right, our homies got in trouble very soon."


    ====================

    *meanwhile, in the battlefield*
    *demons and ghosts, together with their human slaves and war animals, are fighting against Dehroc's minions*

    Doom Guard #1 : "Puny little archers!" *stomps the earth with great valor, stunning some of the minions and even squishing some to pieces* "Nothing can stop Hopen! Your efforts are futile!"

    Henchman #42 Taking Cover Behind a Tree : "Oh really? We have guns and sorceries."
    *shoots a few rounds of bullets at the demons with his AK-47*


    Felguard #2 : "Guns? Your muscles are pathetically small, mortals! You will soon kneel before the Devil Empress, or die crying in hellfire!"

    *battle ensues, with the Hopenese demons soon overwhelming Dehroc's minions*

    Henchman #37 Crouching Behind a Rock : "Damn, the demons are too powerful! Not even our modern guns can do jackshit against them!"

    *suddenly, a column of hot whirlwinds came from afar hitting the demons hard*
    *entangling roots emerged from the earth, gluing the demons while hitting them hard as well*

    Dehroc from Afar : "Retreat!"
    Cadusa from Afar : "We must make haste! There is an Arygosian village nearby!"

    *Dehroc soon led his minions away to safety, retreating to a nearby Arygosian village*


    Eredar Sorcerer #13 : "Cowards!"
    Bloodfiend #4 : "You may have got away this time, but when the time comes, you will have nowhere to run! Losers!"


    ====================

    ***Iykarno Village***

    Cadusa : "Step aside and let me do the job, Dehroc..."
    Dehroc : "Ahhhh, as you wish, milady."

    *Cadusa approaches the Arygosian village guards*
    Cadusa : "Did you all missed me? Cadusa, top agent of Emperor Matyik."

    Guard #1 : "Ohhhh... y-yes, Lady Cadusa. How fares your day? I hope your mission in Gaia has been doing well. Who are these newcomers you brought from Gaia?"
    Cadusa : "I'm doing great, but the mission in Gaia did not end so well. These newcomers? They are my new friends. And this, *hugs Dehroc's arm tightly*, is Dehroc, my lov-- my good friend."
    Cadusa : "Also one more thing, guards, we saw a few of those Hopenese demons just now. Better get the village prepared."


    Guard #2 : "Yes!"
    *guards then also let Cadusa and the newcomers in*
    Cadusa : "Thank you."
     
  4. WhiteFang

    WhiteFang

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    a young skinny man with jet black hair and light blue eyes sits in the middle of a large bandit owned fortress, chained to a wall.he stares at his jailor,a large muscular half-orc covered in terrifying tribal tattoos.he wears only a pair of chainmail greaves with a large steel battleaxe on his back.

    Young man:hey, hey,hey dude.
    The jailor growls before answering with a annoyed "what is it meat"
    Young man:Meat? I'm guessing you aren't vegan.anyhow,mom always told me to be nice to people.Can you please unchain me and let me go?
    Jailor:fuck your mom.* He spits at the young man and glares at him*
    The young man smiles and says "been there done that". This made the jailor chuckle,before growling at the man and grabbing him by the throat

    Jailor: Do you think this is a joke? *he tightens his grip around the man's neck and looks him directly in the eyes*
    The young man:Nope,jokes are funny and don't involve joking.you know what would be funny? if you let me go.that would be great.
    The jailor simply chuckles and let him go.he starts leaving the room,while saying " you're never leaving,the master has a special plan for you"
     
  5. Directive255

    Directive255

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    @WhiteFang nice. xD I especially like the "fuck your mom" part lol

    ====================

    ***Sun Palace, Hopen***

    (within a diabolic throne room glowing in lava orange, a giant demoness -- a succubus to be specific -- sits on the giant black obsidian throne, with other minor demons standing beside her)

    (a giant ravensnake descends from the air, morphing into a serpentine lady of white scales and black feathers)

    Serpentine Lady with White Scales and Black Feathers : "Empress Mererinda, I bear news from Arqinah Forest (name retconned from "Arkina" because the spelling is somehow too similar to "Arkain"). And this is something quite interesting."


    *the demoness, Mererinda, leaned closer and opened her eyes bigger in interest*
    Mererinda : "Oh? What kind of interesting news, Rhelsha?"

    Rhelsha : "The earthlings, milady, whom I've met before during my mission there. A few hundreds of them have somehow ended up in our world. Complete with their advanced fire magik sticks. I bet these earthlings will soon join Arygos, better be prepared."

    Mererinda : "We must get rid of them as fast as we can, or else these earthlings will turn Arygos into a terrifying superpower. Remember the visions I showed you before your expedition? Cannons on wheels and fire archers steamrolling our legions apart are not a pleasant sight to behold. The Cake Minions of Arygos are already bothersome enough, living metallic monsters would make it even harder for us."

    Rhelsha : "Don't worry though, milady. I believe I can greatly help you, Your Imperial Majesty, for I am very familiar with these earthlings. I know their methods."


    Mererinda : "Very well. Rhelsha, I want you to keep an watch on those earthlings. Find a way to stop them, or better yet, convert them to our side."

    RHelsha : "Acknowledged, milady."


    ====================

    ***Iykarno Village, Arygos***

    *Arygosians are busy preparing the village defenses*
    *wooden fences and walls were being built, alongside some watch towers too*
    *more soldiers and militias joined the patrols*
    *Dehroc and his minions were having their break, with Cadusa flirting with Dehroc every once in awhile*

    *not far away, behind some shrubs*
    Rhelsha : "Pfff... Cadusa and Dehroc, eww... Ghee Hin Triads being lazy and cowardly as always."
    Rhelsha : "Alright... I am gonna make Cadusa and these Triads suffer..."

    *Rhelsha then walks away to somewhere else*


    ====================

    ***unknown elven village nearby***
    *Rhelsha arrives*
    *elven guards, consisting of pikemen and swordsmen, approach Rhelsha as they ready their weapons*
    *Rhelsha lifts her hand, signalling them to stop, and then lets out a smile*

    Elven Pikeman #1 : "What are your business, you... ravensnake?"

    Rhelsha : "I come in peace, elves. I would like to see your leader, Lady Azlariah."
    Elven Swordsman #1 : "What? What are you going to do with Lady Azlariah? Are you trying to kill her?"
    Rhelsha : "What?" *chuckles* "No! Do I look like some hungry cake minion? Relax, bois, I am not gonna try anything funny. Look, I come here weaponless!"
    *Rhelsha then opens up her arms and exposes the torso*
    Rhelsha : "I have a deal to make with Lady Azlariah. You wouldn't want to see your lady missing out a good business, no?"
    Elven Swordsman #2 : "Fine, fine... if we see you doing anything bad, you are dead! D-E-A-D!"
    Rhelsha : "Not a problem, mate."

    *accompanied by watchful elves, Rhelsha then makes her way to the village town hall*
    *the elven guards bow before an elven lady in majestic clothes, presumably Azlariah herself*
    Elven Lady : "What is this smell... something smells funny..."
    Rhelsha : *blushes* "......"

    Elven Pikeman #2 : "Lady Azlariah, we have this... ravensnake lass... who says she wants to talk with you."
    Azlariah : "Yes? Oh, an exotic visitor! Welcome to my domain, lady. Please make yourself home here."
    Rhelsha : "Hehe, thanks for your generosity, Azlariah,"
    Azlariah : "You're welcome, it's my pleasure to meet you. You're interesting."

    *the elven guards seem puzzled by Azlariah's openness to Rhelsha, and were left speechless*
    *Azlariah shoots her elven servitors a fierce look*
    Azlariah : "Hey, you, be a gentleman and bring her some tea! The rest of you, go outside the town hall!"
    Elven Swordsman #3 : "Y-yes..."
    *elven guards back off*

    Azlariah : "Ah, these savage servants of mine..."
    Rhelsha : "Hehe. I know this type of people, they're quite annoying."
    Azlariah : "Indeed. By the way, may I know your name? And what brings you here, if I may ask?"

    Rhelsha : "I am Rhelsha. I am here to strike a deal with you, if you are interested. I know Flardyrn has had a lot of headaches with Arygos imperials and the Rocksoul orcs, and they also happen to be our foes as well..."
    Azlariah : "A deal having to do with fighting Arygos and Rocksoul? I'm interested, tell me more!"

    *secret plotting ensues*


    ====================

    ***Iykarno Village***

    *hours and hours have passed, yet no demonic attacks happened*
    Arygosian Captain : "Cadusa, seriously? Are these friends of yours even reliable? Many moments have passed, yet we have no demons coming at all!"
    Dehroc : "Boi. Be patient and alert. The enemies are plotting their moves, I'm sure. Better be safe than sorry!"
    Arygosian Cake Minion #1 : "Plotting this, planning that... if the demons are already here, they would have charging straight at us already! Duh!"
    Cadusa : "I believe Dehroc is right. Hopenese demons on our borderlands are a rare sight. Somethi--"
    Arygosian Cake Minion #2 : "Rare sight? Hah, you said it yourself, lady, a rare sight. There is no need to worry because it's such a rare sight!"
    Arygosian Captain : "Oh, did you say you need to rest? Now's your chance, they aren't coming for ya!"

    *Arygosians then relaxed and softened their defenses, but the walls and fences they've built remain*
    *patrols were reduced to normal size*

    Rhelsha from Afar : "Pathetic animals. They shall soon realize their folly."


    (To Be Continued)
     
  6. Paillan

    Paillan

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    YEET

    *Somewhere in the same fortress/prison mentioned before*

    "GAH" A half orc burst angrily, kicking up a table "you're cheating you cheap fuck!"

    "You just suck at games but always insist in playing them" another half orc says cleaning his teeth with a human knife.

    "Dorbu is right" an other half orc added "you suck ass at this game Fark"

    "NO, Fark is right! I am sure I saw Dorbu kicking the table lightly!" Another half orc yelled


    "YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Fark yelled, and threw his fist towards Dorbu

    Dorbu evaded the punch on the last second and angry stomped Fark's foot.

    "ARGH!" Fark said and threw another punch, hitting another half orc

    "YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" The half orc said, kicking Farku, who fell on other half orcs.

    And just like that a fight started inside the bandit fortress.
     
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2019
  7. WhiteFang

    WhiteFang

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    The man hears the commotion and starts shaking his chains around.
    Young man:Hey! if you are fighting,let me join! come on,free me! I wanna fight you ugly morons.Come on you halfbreed mongrols!.I bet you are too stupid to even find me let alone loosen and fight me!
    *He starts singing the song of his people,and mocking laughing while throwing insults at the orcs*


    --------------------------------------------------
    @Paillan YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET
     
  8. Paillan

    Paillan

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    While the orcs continue to fight, Dorbu actually sneaked out of the whole conflict, and arrived into the prison.

    "Hey you shitty human if you even value your life a bit, shut the hell up" Dorbu buffs angrily "I could hear your rable from the stairs"
     
  9. WhiteFang

    WhiteFang

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    He smiles smugly and sticks tongue out at the orc while thrusting his pelvis
    Young man: You know,you must feel so strong,threatening a chained up skinny human.I bet you are a slave or messenger,too cowardly and unintelligent to be a warrior.Can't blame you,you are too weak to handle me if i was free. *he spits at Dorbu and laughs at him*
    He had nothing to lose,and a very small chance of gaining anything,so he did not care.If he died,he died.He tauntingly smiles at Dorbu
     
  10. Paillan

    Paillan

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    "Well too bad punk" Dorbu said unamused "and I was about to use these as well..." he says lifting the keys "but I guess you don't need them" Dorbu says walking towards the stairs again.
     
  11. WhiteFang

    WhiteFang

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    Young man: Yes,you are right.i don't need them.you do.you can't fight,that's why you aren't joining the others below.That's why you aren't doing anything to me.You are weak and cowardly.I bet your mother wanted to die after she saw what she brought into this world.Can't even do anything to a prisoner who has been in a cell for more than a day
    He laughed again and made chicken sounds.He had lost his mind,and he did not care if he loses his life with it.He did not intend on dying from starvation or the so called 'master' 's plans either.he wanted to embrace death now.
     
  12. Paillan

    Paillan

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    "you are barely worth the effort..." Dorbu Grunted. He opened the door and got close to the young man "Sweet dreams, BROTHER" He said before hitting his head with a strong blow, enough to knock the man out.
     
  13. WhiteFang

    WhiteFang

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    The man's dreams are filled with vivid images of violence and gore,as well as carnage and grotesque creatures.In one dream a strange feminine creature approached him,for some reason he could not see her clearly,he could see everything else fine,just not her.It stopped right in front of him,pausing a bit before digging it's nails into his chest.he screamed in pain as the holes starting glowing,it felt like his insides were burning.A strange yellow liquid poured out of his eyes and mouth

    He suddenly awoke,with a headache and a burning sensation in his chest.He looked down and noticed that the holes in his chest were there.He closed his eyes and opened them again.still there.He noticed his veins were sticking out like crazy everywhere,and were slightly black in color.He could feel his entire body pulsing

    Young guy:Help!Help! Hey,come help me !.There's something wrong with me!
    He started panicking,shaking his chains violently,screaming and yelling as loudly as possible
     
  14. Edge45

    Edge45

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    *A large white egg fell from the skies out of nowhere like a meteor*
    *The impact creates a giant explosion of farts*
    *Anyone smelling the fart would fart themselves to death*
    *Lots of birds came out of the large white ball that cracked itself*
    *The larger birds came out bringing lots of swords and axes with them*
    *The largest followed, wearing a big golden crown and royalty gown*

    King Birb: I have cummed to this world to spread the love of eggs and make birds the top of the food chain! I am King Birb! Bow down to me or I'll have your diccs be replaced with bird pussies and corkscrewed while turning you all to a chicken, at the same time!
    * Points to the profiles of @Directive255 - @WhiteFang - @Paillan *
    Birbelot: Hail! King Birb majesty! Serve him or be extermina--
    King Birb: nu nu nu no! We're not nazis or stupid fascists who wanted jew cums in everyday life. No! That is uncivilized, we just force them to love eggs and bow to Me. Also become submissive slaves that cleans my toilet every session.
    Birbelot: Yes your majesty!
    King Birb: Now conquer Egilian! My servants!
    *Conquers Egilian in a minute*
    *All Egilians became submissive*
    *All Egilians now follows King Birb*
    King Birb: Egilians have become my slaves, hahahaahahha!. My avians! We fly! And find something to eat cuz I'm hungry.
    *After eating*
    King Birb: Now its time to conquer! Now to assemble my plan hahahahahaahahahahah! hahahahahahahahah! ahahahhahaahha!
    *several hours of laughing*
     
  15. Paillan

    Paillan

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    Dorbu takes notice of his very loud uncocious travel partner.

    "Oh boy, I am glad he was asleep while we escaped the bandit's fortress" he throws a bucket of water to @WhiteFang



    The pair is ridding a cart pulled by Alpacas in the middle of god knows were
     
  16. Leo Akastenix

    Leo Akastenix

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    A pair of portals open with two heavily armored figures walking out, drunk before collapsing.

    After some time, both wake up and look at each other.

    "Oi, mate. The Hell are we?" - Figure 1
    "Like I know boi" - Figure 2

    Both of them check their armor systems and weapons.

    "Looks like we drank way too much at the party.." - Figure 1
    "Yes, Captain Obvious" - Figure 2
    "I noticed, Captain Sarcasm" - Figure 1
    "So... what now..?" - Figure 2

    Both of them surveyed their surroundings before shrugging.
    "Well, this isn't a world on the charted systems. And besides there's 25 more days until then next interdimensional party.. Might as well as have some fun!" - Figure 1

    Figure 1 turns to look at Figure 2 before noticing a slip of paper stuck to Figure 2's armor
    "Mate, there's somethin' on your Carapace Armor" - Figure 1

    Figure 2 felt around before pinpointing the location of the paper and tucked it out. He then proceeded to read the contents to himself.
    " P.C[Personal Communicator] 0451-5566-T37. Call me.., signed *a name in a different language*" - Figure 2
    " Well Well Well, look'ike someone made a 'contact' back there " - Figure 1
    " Hmm.. don't recall that..." - Figure 1
    " Considering you drove a damned Ravager[A Super-Heavy Tank] into her clan and she trying to kill you about 2 Dimensional-weeks ago, this is progress, boi!" - Figure 2
    " Well, I did try to apologize, its not my fault the brakes were faulty! Blame the Manufactorium, but she dragged me into the pit cage when she met me at the party... must say we knocked a few bones loose before I managed to knock her out bloody.. but nothing the Mages couldn't heal.." - Figure 1
    " Ha! So you found your mate!" - Figure 2
    " Pardon, mate?" - Figure 1
    " IDIOT! Don't you know when a female Vernette gets beaten in combat, they get attracted to which male who won against her?" - Figure 2

    Figure 1 digested it for a moment
    " Wait.... So... Hold up Wh- " - Figure 1

    He couldn't finish it when a portal opens nearby and out rides a third armored figure on an "expressive" motorcycle, now with a mohawk protruding his helm and a bit more ornate decorations.

    "THERE YOU ARE PUNKS! WHERE THE F*NG HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!!?!?" - Figure 3

    The two other figures turned around, definitely smiling beneath their helms.
    "Yo, my man!" - Figure 1
    "Ha! My BOI!" - Figure 2

    The three of them bro-fists with great power that it releases a shockwave uprooting a few nearby trees that flew away from the surge.

    "SO WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS!?!?" - Figure 3
    "Don't know... might as well as explore, boi, there's 25 more dimensional days left.." - Figure 2
    "THEN HOP THE F* ON!" - Figure 3
    His motorcycle starts shapeshifting and a sidecar combination appears.
    Figure 1 gets on to the back seat while Figure 2 gets into the sidecar, reading his rapid-fire Grenade Launcher "in case of emergencies".

    "HOLD ON TIGHT! WE ARE GOING TOP F*KING SPEED MOTHERF*ERSS!!" -Figure 3
    With that the motorcycle ramps up to speeds imaginable and drove off with a great boom. The motorcycle's speed and fuel causes the nearby objects to be phase-shifted for a while as they passed, going to whoever knows where..
     
  17. Directive255

    Directive255

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    *news of this eventually spread to Hopen, along with King Birb's evil laughs*
    Mererinda : "What in the hell is this laughing voice, it's bothersome,"
    Fel Orc Warlock #1 : "Empress Mererinda,"
    Mererinda : "Yes?"
    Fel Orc Warlock #1 : "We have a swarm of birds coming from a meteor, and these birds somehow conquered the Egilians,"
    Mererinda : "What the hell, you can't be serious"
    Fel Orc Warlock #1 : "No, really, seriously. It really happened. And the laughing voice, it cums from a big ass pussy birb with a big ass crown,"
    Mererinda : "Really? I wanna take a look myself. If your words are wrong, I'll have your dicc tonight in my dinner soup,"
    Fel Orc Warlock #1 : "Aaaaaaahhh?! aaaahhh, yes..."
    Mererinda : "Are you lying to me? Hmmph? Why so afraid?"
    Fel Orc Warlock #1 : *blushes* "N-nuthin... I-I just find that idea... fascinating..."
    Mererinda : "......"

    *later, Mererinda herself leads three massive legions of demons, together with human slaves and war animals, to face King Birb*
    Mererinda : "Who is this laughing mockingbird?"
    Mererinda : "This is the Devil Empress speaking! I am the head of the Regime! Bow before me, you filthy avian infidel!"


    ===============

    ***an hour ago, before news of King Birb's cumming reached Hopen***
    *a few hours after the Arygosians relaxed their defenses*
    Rhelsha : "now it's time."
    Rhelsha : "Azlariah, let's b--"


    Rhelsha : "What the fuck"
    Azlariah : "nah, they are just a bunch of sentient birds, not a big deal. Finish Cadusa and her primates first, she brings too much drama to Kazya,"


    *meanwhile, in the Iykarno Village,*
    Dehroc : "Eggs?! Ahhhh, I love eggs! Eggs are love, eggs are life!"
    Dehroc : "Ahhhh, wait... this King Birb somehow reminds me of my math teacher back then, whose face look like eggs. Dunno why. Too bad he ain't a queen nor a snake. Ahhhh, what a pity indeed."
    Cadusa : "That's good, only then you'll love me and me alone,"
    *Dehroc fell into laughter hearing King Birb talking about diccs, pussies, and other stuffs*
    Dehroc : "ahahahahahahahahahaha this King Birb is so funny, dude,"
    Cadusa : *facepalms and shakes head* "......"


    Dehroc : "WoW, such nazi, very barbarian, 0/622, I hate gulags."
    Cadusa : "It seems like we're going to have a hard time here, darling..."

    Dehroc : "Nazis? Fascists? Don't tell me they found their way here..."
    Cadusa : "I can assure you they won't."

    (Only earthlings are the two hundred Ghee Hin Triads, and even then, they have limited ammo and equipment in this strange new fantasy world)

    Dehroc : "Wait a minute, submissive...?"
    *Dehroc gets a boner*
    Cadusa : "So you are one submissive boi, Dehroc... I love you even more... but, if anything, you should be submissive only to me..."
    Dehroc : "Wait, submissive janitors, did he mean? Wait, that was a male bird calling himself a King! Eww, I am no homo! And I hate cleaning toilets! -_-"

    *battle ensues not far away*
    Azlariah : "Show yourself, Cadusa! Don't be a coward!"
    *Flardyrn elves and Hopenese minor demons charge towards Iykarno Village from all sides*

    Cadusa : "Fuck you, Azzie!"
    Cadusa : "Wait, you Flardyrn elves are now working with demons?! Hopenese demons!?"
    Azlariah : "Yes, and together we will crush you and your petty Triad bois soon! Tremble, fucker, and despair!"

    *Ghee Hin Triads fight with the elves and demons*
    *the sleeping Arygosians suddenly awakened by sounds of war, and are getting ready*

    Dehroc : "Ahhhh, the sounds of war. Dammit."
    *battle continues, with a few hot whirlwinds, tides and fiery meteor storms sweeping the battlefield every once in awhile*

    Dehroc : "Ahhhh, shit."
    Dehroc (shouting aloud echoing to King Birb) : "Hey, we have pests fucking with us! King Birb, eat these pests! These demons and elves are very tasty!"

    Azlariah : "Hah, are you so cowardly and weak to depend on some little birds?! We elves eat birds before they can even peck our hair!"

    Dehroc : "Damn, once again the demons are having the upper hand. We need to find all the help we can get,"
    Dehroc : "Tai Hën! Go lead a squad and find whatever people to join us!"
    Tai Hën : "Yes, this is Hën Tai, no, Tai Hën! Acknowledged!"
    *Dehroc chuckles as he hears "Hën Tai"*
    *Cadusa playfully pinches Dehroc's face after that*
    Cadusa : "You pervert."
    Tai Hën : "Master?"
    Dehroc : "Oh, nothing, do your business,"
    Tai Hën : "Yes boss,"

    (TIP : To type "ë" using Windows keyboard, hold down ALT and then press "1", then "3", then "7". Then let go of ALT key, and you'll get "ë".)


    ===============

    *Tai Hën then leads a squad of Triads toward the north, unknowingly meeting Dorbu and some random human dude on their way*
    * @Paillan, @WhiteFang*
    *Tai Hën steps in the way of the alpacas cart, and then "dances" with his limbs shaking in anxiety*
    Tai Hën : "Halt! I am Hën Tai, no, Tai Hën!"
    Tai Hën : "So, we need help! Really! Demons and elves fucking us in the I-Ittangoh whatever fucking Village! If we fail, the demons will cum to Arygos ass and fuck everyone!"


    ===============

    *news of Egilian's fall to King Birb reaches Articia*
    *the snow elves all laugh at the Egilians in their gossips*

    *in a tavern within a fishing village*
    Laeden : "Oh my god, Egilians falling prey to mere birds?! And all of this in a mere minute!? This can't be real!"
    Snow Elf #1 : "Yeah, I know right? Egilians have the best archers and fire mages, how could that happen?"
    Snow Elf #2 : "Must be Griffegus' doing, I'm sure. I think these birds are actually gyphons, and the king of Egilian must got himself seduced by Griffegian lady boss,"
    Laeden : "With Egilians reduced to mere slaves for these birds *laughs*, Articia can now be number one in Elias!"
    *after several hours of gossipping and drinking, a drunk Laeden steps out of the tavern*

    *Laeden dizzily walked on the road, only to get bumped by a motorcycle*
    * @Leo Akastenix*

    Laeden : "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!"
    Laeden : "This... this is merely a setback! This accident is merely a setback!"
     
  18. Leo Akastenix

    Leo Akastenix

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    @Directive255

    *As Laeden gets bumped by the motorcycle, probably sending him flying away*
    Figure 1 - "Bloody hell, WHAT now?"

    Laeden : "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!"
    Laeden : "This... this is merely a setback! This accident is merely a setback!"



    "Damn right it's a fucking setback... FOR US!" - Figure 2
    Figure 2 walks up toe Laeden, grabs him by the collar, looks straight into his eyes
    "BOI! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING WALKING AROUND DRUNK!?!?" - Figure 2
    As he said that, a psionic shock-wave could be felt within about a 30 meter radius, not that strong but enough to knock a few things over...


    "Mate! C'mon... easy on the boi.." - Figure 1 said as he nudged the probably dazed Laeden from Figure 1's clutches and laid him down
    He then proceeds to slap Laeden (somewhat softly) on the face before continuing -
    "Snap out of it Wanker! Are you alright?" - Figure 1
    "Look at me, how many fingers am I holding up?" - Figure 1
    Figure 1 holds up 4 fingers.
     
  19. Directive255

    Directive255

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    @Leo Akastenix

    "Damn right it's a fucking setback... FOR US!" - Figure 2
    Figure 2 walks up toe Laeden, grabs him by the collar, looks straight into his eyes
    Laeden : "H-h-hey! You are not prepared! W-what are you doing, lad?"

    "BOI! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING WALKING AROUND DRUNK!?!?" - Figure 2
    Laeden : "You'll regret approaching me... W-w-what? Drunk? *chuckles like a madman* No, the one being drunk is you! Look, I am awake as fuc--"
    As he said that, a psionic shock-wave could be felt within about a 30 meter radius, not that strong but enough to knock a few things over...

    Laeden : "Is that all?"


    "Mate! C'mon... easy on the boi.." - Figure 1 said as he nudged the probably dazed Laeden from Figure 1's clutches and laid him down

    Laeden : "Thank, comrade..."

    He then proceeds to slap Laeden (somewhat softly) on the face before continuing -
    "Snap out of it Wanker! Are you alright?" - Figure 1

    Laeden : "Y-yes..."
    *images of a future Laeden with wings, horns and hooves flashed before his eyes*
    *visions of a reptilian sea witch also floated in his drunk mind*

    Laeden : "Wings, horns, hooves... what am I saying? Is this Diablo?"


    "Look at me, how many fingers am I holding up?" - Figure 1
    Figure 1 holds up 4 fingers.

    Laeden : "E-eight? Cuz seven ate nine, seven eight nine! Haha, am I funny?"
     
  20. Leo Akastenix

    Leo Akastenix

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    @Directive255

    Laeden : "E-eight? Cuz seven ate nine, seven eight nine! Haha, am I funny?

    With that Figure 1 punches Laeden straight in the face, most likely sending him straight into the bar he just came out.
    With that Figure 1 and Figure 2 proceeded to enter the bar with murderous intent on their faces, despite their faces being concealed beneath their helms, one could feel their wrath that is about to be unleashed.

    Figure 1 conjured a chain-halberd out of air while Figure 2 unholstered his twin pistols from his belt.
    " You know what's funny, mate?" - Figure 1 as he revved up his chain-halberd and it's blades start rotating like a chainsaw
    " Your sorry head on my wall" - Figure 2 as he cocked his energy pistol, then his bolter pistol.
    "Maybe Nytex would want your head to decorate her throne..., BOI" - Figure 2 asked as his eyes start glowing a great green just like his armor
    They slowly walked towards Leaden ominously.


    Meanwhile, Figure 3 was on his motorcycle high from smoking some premium petrified elven-souls that looked like a cigar.
    "Those nutjobs are going to kill that poor elf.. poor bastard.." - Figure 3
    He patted his cycle
    "At least my girl isn't dented..." - Figure 3