Top 10 reasons that Beer is better than religion

[Wolle]

10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.
9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
8. Beer has never caused a major war.
7. Beer isn't forced onto minors who can't think for themselves.
6. When you have Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over their brand of Beer.
4. You don't have to wait more than 2,000 years for a second Beer.
3. There are laws saying that Beer labels can't lie to you.
2. You can prove you have a Beer.
1. If you've devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.

 

[Ash]

Don't we all love copy pasta.

But regardless, this has made me laugh quite a few times.

 

[Huurka]

Top 10 reasons why Beer is better than Religion

D:

 

[Wolle]

Just thought i wanted to share it with those who hadnt seen the light.

BTW: i would love a bowl of copy pasta xD

 

[Zombie]

I saw this on a T-shirt in Bulgaria: Why beer is better than women (I took a photo of it, but I don't think anyone else could read it if I uploaded it)

1.A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer
2.When you go in a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer
3.A beer won't get upset if you go home and have beer on your breath
4.You don't have to wine and dine a beer
5.If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head
6.Hangovers go away
7.When you're finished with a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents
8.You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good
9.A beer always goes down easy
10.You can share a beer with your friends
11.Beer is always wet
12.You always know when you're the first one to pop a beer
13.A frigid beer is a good beer
14.You can have more than 1 beer and not feel guilty
15.You can enjoy beer all month long

 

[HermanTheGibbon]

Ha, speak for yourself, I often endulge in forcing beer onto minors, the results are rather comic I think you will find

lol at the Bulgarian sexism.

 

[Zombie]

eehh...I wouldn't say anything like that, looking at your avatar.

sexism? lol it's just a joke.

 

[Masiah]

Funny. I specially liked the 6th one about the beer, imagining a group of people going from house to house giving out beer... it would be wonderful.

 

[Teh_Ephy]

Some of those comparisons to women are in really poor taste, not to mention that some beers are actually described as dry.

 

[Masiah]

... No words ...

 

[Elenai]

I found both "beer is better than" posts to be quite offensive and ignorantly off base.

There is a time and place for jokes, and only then...good jokes.

This does not count as a good joke. This style of humour is tasteless and rude.

 

[Mechanical Man]

Why are they so offensive and ignorant? I found them pretty funny.

 

[GST_Nemisis]

yeh, tickled my funny bone, and i had a really sad day today.

 

[Teh_Ephy]

Aside from most being mildly offensive, they're also mostly all lame.

 

[Gilles]

10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.
9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
8. Beer has never caused a major war.
7. Beer isn't forced onto minors who can't think for themselves.
6. When you have Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over their brand of Beer.
4. You don't have to wait more than 2,000 years for a second Beer.
3. There are laws saying that Beer labels can't lie to you.
2. You can prove you have a Beer.
1. If you've devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.

10. People make fun of you and pressure you for not drinking, which is pretty bad imo. Killing is worse, but not many religions do it. As well Beer kills (drinking and driving is the leading killer of teens), the Catholic Church, for one, doesn't.

9. Beer helps spread STDs. Yay!

8. Beer causes brawls and fights all the time. Now you say religion causes war. Let's think about this one. So maybe you refer to the crusades, and Muslims and Christians fighting. Now you could say religion started that, fair enough. Now let's take religion out of the equation. Now you just have to people with different cultures. They still don't like each other, they will still fight. Religion doesn't start wars, people do, and people who want people to have the same culture and ideals. So should we take away culture? Should everyone be clones of each other?

7. Beer isn't forced into minors, but it's definitely pushed at. Most kids in High School have drank beer because it was the "cool" thing to do. The media never forces, it's too clever, it just keeps telling you what's cool. Beer is about as forced as Religion imo.

6. That's about one or two religions. As well, beer is always knocking, through the media.

5. This is true. Although some people have been ridiculed.

4. You don't have to wait 2000 years for Christ either. Try going to a Catholic mass, he's there in the flesh.

3. Fair enough.

2. I can prove that I have a religion. Dumb point. Unless you mean God. Then disprove God. I can't prove, you can't disprove.

1. Society helps you stop your "addiction" to religion. As well religion doesn't make you drunk and do stupid things, it actually helps you, so there is no need to go to help groups.

 

[GST_Nemisis]

you know, this isnt supposed to be taken literally...like those "5 reasons why pot is better than food" and "15 reasons why sex is better than oxygen". its not supposed to be serious, its supposed to be sarcastic and dry.

 

[Teh_Ephy]

Saw a card for a wallet with 10 reasons bananas are better than men

 

[brad.dude03]

That's a list I'd like to see.

 

[Teh_Ephy]

Let's see what I can remember...
Even the smallest banana is 8 inches
Bananas are always hard (might have been on it, don't remember)
It's okay to swallow a banana
It's okay to you have 2 bananas in bed

 

[Hakeem]

I agree with Elenai and Gilles.




Except where they didn't laugh.

For shame.

 

[Gilles]

Nah I laughed, just thought I'd post my thoughts. You guys may realize it's a joke, but a lot of people would agree with those points.

 

[Wolle]

Meh, this isnt suppoesed to be taken seriusly, it's just meant as a cheap laugh for anyone who can relate be it a drunkard or a religius person.
If someone goes out and use this list as an argument for drinking they should get a kick to the balls.

 

[annoying]

I know billions of things you could lose if you drink beer: your brain cells.

But seriously, both beer lists were great.

 

[HeretoDLstuff]

Huh. I don't see how these are funny really..

 

[HINDYhat]

Some of them were funny, others were just blargh.

 

[brad.dude03]

I know billions of things you could lose if you drink beer: your brain cells.

But seriously, both beer lists were great.

Did you know that drinking alcohol in moderation is far healthier for you than abstaining from it entirely?

We lose brain cells from everything. When you friggen sneeze you lose brain cells.

 

[annoying]

Did you know that drinking alcohol in moderation is far healthier for you than abstaining from it entirely?

We lose brain cells from everything. When you friggen sneeze you lose brain cells.

Yeah, but as many things, it is not healthy to over-do it.

BTW, I sneeze a lot, is that why I am so annoying?

 

[brad.dude03]

Well duh, moderation is the key to everything. So you can drink your beer, as long as you're not an alcoholic it wont have any lasting effect, and in fact will probably be better for you then not drinking it at all.

And quite possibly.

 

[annoying]

Well, you should be the moderation master, since you are the Moderator.

And sneezing feels so nice. Is that because the brain cells die?

 

[MySpaceBarBroke]

5 Reasons Why Pandas Are Better Than This Thread:

5. Pandas don't eat up intelligence. Just bamboo.
4. You don't have to wade through pandas every time you go on the forums. If I wanted to see one, I'd just go to a zoo.
3. Pandas are black and white. This thread is all different shades of stupid.
2. People won't become whiny pussies because a panda is ignorant. It's just an animal.
1. There are few pandas in the world.

 

[Elenai]

Now that made me laugh.

 

[Steel_Stallion]

5 Reasons Why Pandas Are Better Than This Thread:

5. Pandas don't eat up intelligence. Just bamboo.
4. You don't have to wade through pandas every time you go on the forums. If I wanted to see one, I'd just go to a zoo.
3. Pandas are black and white. This thread is all different shades of stupid.
2. People won't become whiny pussies because a panda is ignorant. It's just an animal.
1. There are few pandas in the world.

Add in a 6th:

-Pandas do not make lame attempts at humour.

Ya, for the people taking this thread seriously... umm.. ya

 

[Teh_Ephy]

/thread, MSBB
Anyways, I'm complaining because they're not funny. If they're biased as hell but funny as hell, go right ahead. But they're all lame :/

 

[Sansui]

6. When you have Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over their brand of Beer.

those are false.
6. When I get drunk and feel like starting a bigger party I knock on doors looking for people who want to party, and give them some beer.

5. Blasphemy burn the drinkers of keystone!





And people its their opinion to say they are not funny... they aren't funny because this list is old but oh well.

 

[Moontraveler]

10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.
9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
8. Beer has never caused a major war.
7. Beer isn't forced onto minors who can't think for themselves.
6. When you have Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over their brand of Beer.
4. You don't have to wait more than 2,000 years for a second Beer.
3. There are laws saying that Beer labels can't lie to you.
2. You can prove you have a Beer.
1. If you've devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.

I'm not sure about these ones... (But I find it really funny (And true <_< ))

 

[slawter]

=) more reasons

 

[power_shaman]

I found both "beer is better than" posts to be quite offensive and ignorantly off base.

There is a time and place for jokes, and only then...good jokes.

This does not count as a good joke. This style of humour is tasteless and rude.

LOL, you're strange.

 

[Gilles]

LOL, you're strange.

Not really, he doesn't find it funny when people make fun of his beliefs.

 

[Ghost765]

good call gilles.

 

[MySpaceBarBroke]

Not really, he doesn't find it funny when people make fun of his beliefs.

No, he doesn't find it funny because it isn't.

It's just that simple. Religion has nothing to with it. Unfunny shit is unfunny.

 

[Ghost765]

unfunny - not funny; especially failing to achieve the intended humor; "a very unfunny joke"
never realized unfunny was a word.

 

[Marshmalo]

Did you know that drinking alcohol in moderation is far healthier for you than abstaining from it entirely?
.

Er please explain that logic, I'm interested to know how you can justify that sentence.

 

[MySpaceBarBroke]

unfunny - not funny; especially failing to achieve the intended humor; "a very unfunny joke"
never realized unfunny was a word.

Even if it wasn't, I'd still use it.

Er please explain that logic, I'm interested to know how you can justify that sentence.

Drinking alcohol in moderation reduces your risk of heart attack. That enough?

 

[Youradhere]

Wow.....you people have issues....it's a joke.You know what a joke is?Something that is meant to be funny.So instead of flaming these poor people just because you guys are so insecure and insensetive that silly little things like jokes bother you, then gtfo of these forums.You guys are by far the problem this post has had.It isn't the jokes, its the people here that are breaking the rules by flaming,spamming,trolling, etc. over it.I seriously thought I would see better in you people.ESPECIALLY from some of the moderators and admins here.Try not qqing over jokes, ty.

Also, please don't start a flame fest just because I told you guys my opinion on this issue.

 

[MySpaceBarBroke]

Sigh.

First, let's get something clear. You do not say

Also, please don't start a flame fest just because I told you guys my opinion on this issue.

this right after you lash out at everyone else.

Wow.....you people have issues....it's a joke.You know what a joke is?Something that is meant to be funny.

"Meant to be" isn't the same as "is".

So instead of flaming these poor people just because you guys are so insecure and insensetive that silly little things like jokes bother you, then gtfo of these forums.

I'll let you in on something: A racy joke without humor is just racy. And pointlessly controversial comments are better off not existing.

You guys are by far the problem this post has had.

Yeah, we're by far the problem.

It isn't the jokes, its the people here that are breaking the rules by flaming,spamming,trolling, etc. over it.I seriously thought I would see better in you people.ESPECIALLY from some of the moderators and admins here.

This thread is indeed quite spammy, but then again, if it's hard to take the very base of a thread seriously, you shouldn't expect much from the ensuing posts. This is why all my joke threads are in Something Else from the start. As for flaming and trolling, you're going to need a much larger dose of rage to make a scratch on the integrity of the forums.

Try not qqing over jokes, ty.

QQing? You mean like opening up some long rant about a thread that displeases you? Oh, wait, what's this? You're doing it too?

And don't think that criticizing your actions is the same as flaming. On a whim, I've decided to patronize you and not "start a flamefest", despite your obvious hypocrisy.

 

[brad.dude03]

And with that, I'll close this thread.