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Level 37
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Aug 14, 2006
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Hoi, hoi.

I have been doing last one year a project called "The Chosen Ones". I'm almost ready to release the next version, but I have to polish the campaign before releasing it. Here is what I'm asking from you:

1) Help and fix grammar errors from descriptions.
2) If you are not satisfied with a description, edit it, make it better! I love epic descriptions.
3) If you totally don't like a description, make a new description! Remember that the spells are already done so you must words from original descriptions.
4) If you think a description is perfect, tell me. Then I will move it to "The Edited Ones" list.
5) If you have a better spell name, just tell me.

If you help me, I will give you some rep & credits. You don't need to do all in one.






1. Flames of War
2. Fiery Dominator
3. Phoenix Fire
4. Globe Of Fire


1. Flames of War

- This is a channeling spell.
- Every 0,25 second from 1 to 4 random targets around the caster are burned taking damage.
- This spell lasts for the next 6 seconds and while casting the spell caster will receive temporarily 1000 armor.
- Damage is based on intelligence only. INT x 1.
- The spell lasts 6 second.

The caster creates a fiery crater of hellfire around himself, enveloping himself in chaotic flame gaining an impenetrable shield of flames. After that, the caster can focus 100% on the destruction of his enemies and becomes a living volcano, emitting fierce waves of fire to incinerate his enemies to charred remains.



2. Firing Adrenaline

- Increases friendly unit's attack damage.
- Damage increase: 100 x lvl(Max. 10,000 dmg)
- The spell lasts 30 second.

With will and magic, the caster uses his magic to pump enormous amount of adrenaline to the target's veins making him forget all his pains and doubts. The powers of the fighters rapidly increasing his attack power making the target unstoppable killing machine that slays everything in sight.



3. Flames of the Phoenix

- Cast to an area making gigantic damage & DPS to enemy units.
- Also stuns the enemy units in the area for 6 seconds.

Calls upon the power of the great Phoenix to provide assistance during battle. The Phoenix dashes down from the heavens in a beam of fiery blaze. Stunning the enemies en impact for 6 second and scorching vile creatures in the vicinty aflame, burning them alive.



4. Globe Of Armageddon (FIRE SPELL 11)

- Summons a fire globe that wanders around the battlefield casting powerful spells to nearby enemy units.
- The globe lasts 30 second.
- Enemy units around the globe will take 500 damage / second.
- Enemy units around the globe will suffer 10 armor.
- Random Magic 1: Deals damage to a single unit.
- Random Magic 2: Do an explosion that deals damage to units around.
- Random Magic 3: Slows unit's attack and movement speed by 99% for 5 seconds.
- Random Magic 4: ...
- Random Magic 5: ...

Only the strongest fighters in Oelivert can cast this high level fire spell because it wastes so much mana. If someone is able to cast this spell, it summons a giantic fiery globe to the air. This globe, wanders around the battle field aimlessly killing and torturing enemies that comes close enough.



Not yet anything.







1. Spiral Shield
3. Charged Prism
3. Invisibility
4. Chaotic Realm


1. Spiral Shield

- When cast, every 2 second caster will receive 25% hit points.
- Also, every 2 second two lightnings blasts nearby enemy units dealing damage and stunning them for 1 second.
- The lightnings will rotate around the caster.
- This spell lasts for 10 seconds.

This spell generates three invisible orbs of electrically charged particles that one is above the caster and other two rotating around the caster. Every two second, those particles release a tremendous amount of energy, one healing the caster and other two blasting all nearby enemies stunning and dealing damage. However, those particles only have enough energy to last for 5 waves.


2. Charged Prism

- Creates a lightning field that is big at the beginning but starts to become small.
- Enemy units in the field will take damage per second.
- When the field collapses, deals enormous damage to enemy units around stunning them for 10 seconds.

Charges the air with an electrical force, reducing it's size over a few seconds. Enemies caught in this area will suffer great damage per second. Once it's size has reached it's maximum point of reduction the prism collapses in on itself, forcing the charged particles to explode in an electrical blast that will gigantic damage to all nearby enemy units stunning them for 10 seconds.


3. Invisibility

- Makes the caster and nearby friendly units small, invisible and giving them double attack and movement speed.
- The speed bonuses lasts 30 second.
- If a unit attacks, the invisible effect is removed.

Engulfs nearby friendly units in an electrical veil that manipulates the light around, making them small and completely invisible to the naked eye for 30 seconds. As an side effect, units' attack speeds are doubled and movement speed maxed. However, the veil is very fragile and any attempts to attack, use an ability, or cast a spell while under it will cause the invisible veil to shatter. The speed bonuses lasts till the end.


4. Chaotic Realm

- Creates a giantic lightning field where lightnins go and go rapidly.
- Enemy units in this area are slowed, attack and movement speeds are reduced by 50%.
- Also enemy units will take damage per second.
- The friendly units in this field will receive 50 bonus armor.
- The realm lasts for 30 seconds.

Creates a giantic lightning battle arena where lightnings come and go expeditiously fast. Enemy units in this area damaged per second and slowed by 50%. Friendly units armors are increased by 30.

Not yet anything.







1. Frost Armature
2. Glacial Spikes
3. Magic Guard


1. Frost Armature

- Restores 10% of target's hit points and mana every 1 second.
- Gives 50% magic resistance.
- Gives 30 armor.
- The spell lasts 15 second.

Encases a friendly unit creating an armor with ice crystals magically reinforced to be as tough as diamond. The armor increases bearer's armor by 30 and magic resistance by 50%. Also restores 10% it's hit points and mana for every second. After 15 seconds the enchantment will wear off and the ice will start to melt.


2. Glacial Spikes

- An AOE spell that deals damage to nearby enemy units right away.
- Also decreases enemy units' armors by 10.

This spell freezes the air around the caster and manipulates the ice to take the form of razor sharp spikes that deals damage to nearby enemy units. The spikes are so sharp, they actually rupture the armor of their victims, reducing their armor by 10 for 30 seconds.


3. Magic Guard

- A spell like "Mana Shield", but it can be cast to any friendly unit, and the caster is the one who runs it.
- Lasts until the mana runs out.

Magic Guard is a legendary spell that have been long searched. With this spell it is able to even save a friend from enemy attacks so long that the caster's mana is holding. Places a defensive force field around an allied target. The force field is made of hardened mana with each point of mana capable of absorbing two points of damage. The force field will automatically break if the caster runs out of mana.

Not yet anything.







1. Divine Seal
2. Union of Souls
3. Healing Attacks


1. Divine Seal

- Heals the target over time.
- Gives the target immunity to magics.
- Lasts 10 seconds.

Places a Divine Seal upon a targeted friendly unit. The Divine Seal uses the power of the light to nullify all harmful magic directed towards the unit it was placed upon, purging all negative debuffs and granting spell immunity to its target. The Divine Seal also releases life energy that heals 10% of the target's maximum hit points over time. After 10 seconds, the Seal will run out of energy and fade away.


2. Union of Souls

- Spirit Link.

This powerful spell links the souls of up to six targets. When linked, 75% of damage that each individual receives will be evenly distributed among all other members of the union. However the effect of spell will only last 60 seconds before the links between souls dissipate.


3. Heaven's Blessing

- A life steal to all nearby allied units. 100% life leech. Works from Vampiric Potion that stacks.

Adds to every nearby friendly unit a great blessing from the heaven to their weapons and souls. Every time a unit with this blessing attacks to an enemy unit, life force is stolen and given to the attacker. More damage the attacker do, more hit points it will receive. This great blessing however lasts only 20 seconds.

Not yet anything.






1. Destroy Soul
2. Grim Brazier
3. Impale
4. Abaddon


1. Destroy Soul

- Kills every foe in the selected area that is under the level of the caster.

Lanches a deadly ritual to a selected area. Enemies that in the area completely destroyed and will die immediately sending their souls to another world. This spell only works enemies that are same or under level of the caster.


2. Grim Brazier

- Summons a brazier to selected target.
- The brazier will decrease enemies' armor by CASTER LVL X 1(max. 100).
- Every 5 second makes a deadly wave that does damage to nearby enemy units.
- After 30 second, it will explode dealing damage to nearby enemy units(DEATH NOVA!).

Summons an eerie brazier at a targeted location to attract evil spirits with its dark energies. These spirits cannot be seen but they enjoy tormenting the living and all nearby enemy units they haunt will have their armor reduced. The Grim Brazier is not of this realm and cannot be attacked but it will expire 60 seconds after it is summoned and return to wherever it came from.


3. Impale

- Deals damage to a single unit.

Uses the power of darkness to create a vortex that sucks your opponent into the sky. Upon reaching the highest point, four massive spike tendrils will shoot out of the earth, impaling the target and dealing massive damage.


4. Abaddon

- Curses nearby enemy units.
- Cursed enemies takes damage per second.
- Also they will lose mana per second.
- And armor is reduced.
- Lasts forever.

The spell unleashes a terrible curse upon your enemies that lasts forever. Every second enemies will take damage to their hit points and mana. Also their current armor is reduced by 10. If a unit dies under the effect of the curse, it will explode to deal a further damage and minuses the armor of nearby enemy units by 10. The armor minus stacks.

Not yet anything.

 
Level 37
Joined
Mar 6, 2006
Messages
9,240
The caster creates a fiery crater of hellfire around himself, enveloping himself in chaotic flame gaining an impenetrable shield of flames. After that, the caster can focus 100% on the destruction of his enemies and becomes a living volcano, emitting fierce waves of fire to incinerate his enemies to charred remains.

The word flame is repeated too soon. Maybe change it to:

..enveloping himself in an impenetrable shield of chaotic flames.

I'd also ditch "after that". How about "During the next moments"?


With will and magic, the caster uses his magic to pump enormous amount of adrenaline to the target's veins making him forget all his pains and doubts. The powers of the fighters rapidly increasing his attack power making the target unstoppable killing machine that slays everything in sight.

The word "magic" is repeated, which is not good. How does "With the power of his will..." sound? Or use the word "willpower".

to the target's veins -> into the target's veins
increasing -> increase


Calls upon the power of the great Phoenix to provide assistance during battle. The Phoenix dashes down from the heavens in a beam of fiery blaze. Stunning the enemies en impact for 6 second and scorching vile creatures in the vicinty aflame, burning them alive.

en -> on
second -> seconds


Only the strongest fighters in Oelivert can cast this high level fire spell because it wastes so much mana. If someone is able to cast this spell, it summons a giantic fiery globe to the air. This globe, wanders around the battle field aimlessly killing and torturing enemies that comes close enough.

"...it wastes so much mana" sounds bad to me. So does "If someone is able to cast this spell".

Remove the "," after "This globe".
comes -> come


This spell generates three invisible orbs of electrically charged particles that one is above the caster and other two rotating around the caster. Every two second, those particles release a tremendous amount of energy, one healing the caster and other two blasting all nearby enemies stunning and dealing damage. However, those particles only have enough energy to last for 5 waves.

"This spell generates..." is not an epic way to begin a description.


Charges the air with an electrical force, reducing it's size over a few seconds. Enemies caught in this area will suffer great damage per second. Once it's size has reached it's maximum point of reduction the prism collapses in on itself, forcing the charged particles to explode in an electrical blast that will gigantic damage to all nearby enemy units stunning them for 10 seconds.

"...that will cause gigantic..."


Engulfs nearby friendly units in an electrical veil that manipulates the light around, making them small and completely invisible to the naked eye for 30 seconds. As an side effect, units' attack speeds are doubled and movement speed maxed. However, the veil is very fragile and any attempts to attack, use an ability, or cast a spell while under it will cause the invisible veil to shatter. The speed bonuses lasts till the end.

an side effect -> a side effect


Encases a friendly unit creating an armor with ice crystals magically reinforced to be as tough as diamond. The armor increases bearer's armor by 30 and magic resistance by 50%. Also restores 10% it's hit points and mana for every second. After 15 seconds the enchantment will wear off and the ice will start to melt.

the bearer's
10% of it's hit points

This spell freezes the air around the caster and manipulates the ice to take the form of razor sharp spikes that deals damage to nearby enemy units. The spikes are so sharp, they actually rupture the armor of their victims, reducing their armor by 10 for 30 seconds.

deals -> deal


Magic Guard is a legendary spell that have been long searched. With this spell it is able to even save a friend from enemy attacks so long that the caster's mana is holding. Places a defensive force field around an allied target. The force field is made of hardened mana with each point of mana capable of absorbing two points of damage. The force field will automatically break if the caster runs out of mana.

that have been -> that has been
it is able to even -> it is even possible to
so long that the caster's -> as long as the caster's


This powerful spell links the souls of up to six targets. When linked, 75% of damage that each individual receives will be evenly distributed among all other members of the union. However the effect of spell will only last 60 seconds before the links between souls dissipate.

the effect of spell -> the effect of the spell


Adds to every nearby friendly unit a great blessing from the heaven to their weapons and souls. Every time a unit with this blessing attacks to an enemy unit, life force is stolen and given to the attacker. More damage the attacker do, more hit points it will receive. This great blessing however lasts only 20 seconds.

Adds a great blessing to every nearby friendly unit from the heaven to their weapons and souls. Every time a unit with this blessing attacks an enemy unit, life force is stolen and given to the attacker. The more damage the attacker does, the more hit points it will receive. This great blessing however lasts only 20 seconds.

Lanches a deadly ritual to a selected area. Enemies that in the area completely destroyed and will die immediately sending their souls to another world. This spell only works enemies that are same or under level of the caster.

Lanches a deadly ritual to a selected area. Enemies in the area are completely destroyed and will die immediately sending their souls to another world. This spell only works on enemies that are equal or under level of the caster.

The spell unleashes a terrible curse upon your enemies that lasts forever. Every second enemies will take damage to their hit points and mana. Also their current armor is reduced by 10. If a unit dies under the effect of the curse, it will explode to deal a further damage and minuses the armor of nearby enemy units by 10. The armor minus stacks.

Minuses -> decreases
minus -> reduction
 
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