Translation Request 17

[Aeroblyctos]

Hiho!

I have been making my campaign now over a year now. I have already released a lot alpha tests from it. Some of the testers have said to me that my english is bad so here I am: translation request 17. I have couple of texts and if you even can translate one text I would be grateful. I would like you to make these texts to be without any grammar errors and also look like more epic(this means you may perhaps have to change whole text(even the spell name), but it should have the same meaning).

I will give you credits at the campaign and also some rep in here. Thank you beforehand.

This time, the theme is spells. Here we go;

Ice Elemental (a summon)

Frost Touch - Ice Elemental attacks' slows a target enemy unit's attack and movement speed by 20% for 1/2/3/4/5 second. (this spell have 5 levels)

Energy Shield - Creates a shield that absorbs damage by using the Ice Elemental's mana. Shield that absorbs 1.0 damage per point of mana. (this spell have 1 level, I think the text is stupid because of 1 level)

Ice Impale - Ice Element casts sharp ice from the ground that jumps beneath the ground quickly which deals damage to the cast enemy unit.(similar to impale from crypt lord, but only for 1 unit)

Frozen Mist - Summons an increasingly frozen mist around that deals damage to hit points and mana. (so, this effect is little first but grows bigger in one sec, then disappears)

Mana Share - Ice Element shares all it's mana to all nearby allied units.

Ice Claw - Summons a huge amount of sharp ice claws around Ice Element that deals damage to all nearby enemy units.

Fire Elemental (a summon)

Immolate - Fire Elemental have a burning fire circle around itself that burns nearby enemy units. Each second fire circle deals 10/20/30/40/50 damage. (this spell have 5 levels, permament immolate)

Slow - Slows a target enemy unit's attack rate by 20% and movement speed by 20% for 5 second. (sounds like blizzard crap text, perhaps you have a better one in your mind?)

Fire Way - Fire Elemental starts to move forward rapidly and exploding same time. Deals damage to all nearby enemy units that are in the way. (this is pretty funny skill)

Flame Link - Magically binds a target enemy unit, so that it cannot attack or move for 3 second. (again basic blizzard skill, from "Aerial Shackles", perhaps change is in the way?)

Sacrifice - Fire Elemental sacrifies himself by exploding that deals huge damage to all nearby enemy units. (the explode is huge)

Fire Nova - Fire elemental casts a huge fire explosion around it dealing damage and dissapearing same time. After 5 second, it appears again and casts another fire explosion. (pretty cool spell, the last spell of course)

Other magics that will be included in the next version of the campaign

Mana Grab - Summons a magical hand to drain the mana from all nearby enemy units and then deal damage according to the mana drained.

Life Grab - Summons a magical hand to drain the hit points from all nearby enemy units and then deal damage according to the hit points drained.

X - X (hmm, this spell should be combine of Mana & Life Grab, but I have not made any text... perhaps you could do?)

 

[TheBlooddancer]

X - X Could be Spirit Grab or Soul Grab.

 

[Aeroblyctos]

Soul Grab sounds great.

 

[Zombie]

I tried to change as little as possible, while concentrating on the grammatical mistakes only. I hope I could satisfy your needs.

Ice Elemental:

Frost Touch - Ice Elemental's attacks slows a target enemy unit's attack and movement speed by 20% for 1/2/3/4/5 second [NOTE: Add an "s" on the end of the word "second" when you're using numbers bigger than one].

Energy Shield - Creates a shield that absorbs damage by using the Ice Elemental's mana. The shield absorbs 1.0 damage per mana point.

Ice Impale - The Ice Elemental summons a sharp ice column that jumps from beneath the ground, dealing damage to the target enemy unit.

Frozen Mist - Summons an increasing frozen mist around the target that deals damage to its hit points and mana.

Mana Share - The Ice Elemental shares all its mana to all nearby allied units.

Ice Claw - Summons a huge amount of sharp ice claws around the Ice Elemental that deal damage to all nearby enemy units.

Fire elemental:

Immolate [NOTE: I recommend you rename it to immolation]- The Fire Elemental casts a burning fire circle around itself that deals damage to nearby enemy units. The fire circle deals 10/20/30/40/50 damage per second.

Slow - Slows a target enemy unit's attack rate by 20% and movement speed by 20% for 5 seconds.

[Suggestion: The Fire Elemental temporarly chars the muscles of the target enemy unit, slowing its attack rate by 20% and movement speed by 20%. Lasts 5 seconds.]

Fire Way - The Fire Elemental starts to move forward rapidly and exploding at the same time. Deals damage to all nearby enemy in the way. [NOTE: I suggest you add how much damage it deals]

Flame Link - Magically binds a target enemy unit, blocking it from attacking and movement for 3 seconds.

Sacrifice - Fire Elemental sacrifices himself by exploding, dealing huge damage to all nearby enemy units.

Fire Nova - Fire elemental casts a huge fire explosion around the target, dealing damage and dissapearing same time. After 5 seconds, it reappears and casts another fire explosion. (pretty cool spell, the last spell of course)

Misc:

Mana Grab - Summons a magical hand to drain mana from nearby enemy units and deal damage according to the mana drained.

Life Grab - Summons a magical hand to drain hit points from nearby enemy units and deal damage according to the hit points drained.

 

[Aeroblyctos]

Good job, zombie2279. You make these spells now without grammar errors I see. But I think this still needs some improvements. Currently text is a bit boring; too usual. Also spell names are nothing special.

So, I'm waiting for someone to make these a little more "epic". I mean, using more rare words, etc. Use zombie2279's text.

+rep to you

 

[Zombie]

Always glad to help.

 

[X.e.r.e.X]

The name of "Fire Way" could be changed to "Path of Flames" to create more epicness in the name.

 

[Aeroblyctos]

Yeah, you are right, X.e.r.e.X. But also the texts should be more "epic".

 

[Aeroblyctos]

-bumb-

I would like this to be done before Christmas. Anyone with great talents of english?

So, here's what I want; I want you, to look at zombie2279's post which is updated text from the original text. Fix it's grammar errors and make the text more "epic", "rare", etc. Put some rare words to there and there. Credits will be given, and thanks beforehand for helping me with the campaign.

 

[Nbah]

Ice Elemental

Chill - With each attack the Ice Elemental consumes the body heat of the enemy, making their bodies more and more stiff and hard to use. Due to that, the movement and attack speed of the enemies are decreased by 20% for 1/2/3/4/5 seconds respectively for each level.

Conversion - The Ice Elemental can convert every mana point he has into pure energy which engulfs him and protects him from any attack. As soon as the Elemental still has mana, every mana point will absorb 1.0 point of damage dealt to him.

Ice Impalement - Creating many sharp ice spikes below the ground, the Ice Elemental can thrust them upwards with a single move, impaling a target enemy, dealing damage to it.

Vitality Consumption - The Ice Elemental can summon a small mist that engulfs a target enemy. The mist will expand with each passing second until it becomes a thick fog that smothers the enemy, draining his life and mana energies.

Endow Energy - Splitting all its mana and giving it to nearby allied units, the Ice Elemental can ensure that with every passing moment its allies are fighting to the fullest of their capabilities.

Glacial Claw - The Ice Elemental can create sharp pieces of ice that resemble frozen claws, which fly around the Elemental and pierce any enemy that dares to come too close.

Fire Elemental

Scorch - Drawing upon its most potential powers, the Fire Elemental can immerse in the deepest burning flames of Hell and create them around its body. Any enemy that nears the Fire Elemental will be scorched for 10/20/30/40/50 damage per second for the respective level.

Char - The Fire Elemental charres temporarily the enemies' muscles, thus making them move and attack much slower. However this cannot be maintained for long and it can last only for 5 seconds during which the movement and attack speed of the enemy is slowed by 20%.

Path of Flames - With great speed the Fire Elemental thrusts forward, creating burning explosions inside of itself. Any enemy that is in the way of the Elemental will get damaged by the flaming explosions.

Bind - With its burning powers, the Fire Elemental binds the enemy to a certain spot and renders him unable to move or attack for 3 seconds.

Last Burning Breath - The Fire Elemental can sacrifice itself, creating an enormous fiery explosion which scorches any enemy nearby, dealing huge amounts of damage.

Flaming Devastation - The Fire Elemental targets an enemy, making it the heart of a huge flaming explosion, which deals big amounts of damage. Then the Fire Elemental disappears for 5 seconds, after which it reappears again to burn anything that could've survived the first attack with a second massive explosion.

Well, this is it. I liked very much how Zombie did it and XereX suggestion was very good, so I tried to keep some of the things they said. The Misc stuff are great, the Soul Grab is the most fitting name for such a spell. I hope you like these suggestions that I gave, I know they aren't great or anything and most of them are stupid ideas, but I tried to be as epic or whatever as possible. Use any of the names or descriptions that you like, and leave those that you don't like aside. Okay, that's it for me, peace out and I hope your campaign turns out to be awesome ^_^.

 

[Aeroblyctos]

You are a bit late, but whatever. You have some excellent suggestions and I edit the spells(I already released the 2.8 version). Thanks for your time, however, next time I would like you to be a bit faster.

Because you very good with this stuff, perhaps I should just private message to you next time? You could even become my translator... Thanks anyway, credits + rep given.

EDIT: Here are some spells that I still want some improvements. You guys have made good texts perhaps, but really don't describe perfectly what is happening with the spell. I have attached some pictures to describe more about these spells. Here we go:



Arctic Mist - Ice Elemental casts a dead cold mist around it that deals not only damage to enemy units, but also destroys some of their mana.

Ice Claw - Ice Element casts thousand ice spikes around it piercing every single enemy dealing great damage.

Fire Nova - Fire elemental casts a huge fire nova around it while dissapearing same time. After 5 seconds, Fire Elemental appears again and casts another huge fire nova. Both fire novas deals great damage to all enemies in a huge area.

 

[Nbah]

Niice, now you're talking. I had hard time imagining what you meant by the descriptions of some spells, but now that I can see the screenshots, it becomes more easier. Sorry that I was a bit late, but I hadn't seen this request before, but in the future, if you need anything similar, PM me at anytime and I'll be there for ya ^_^. Anywhoo, let's see about these stuff..

Arctic Mist - With its mere presence, the Ice Elemental freezes the air around itself, reducing it to deadly degrees and thus sucking the life out of nearby enemies and even destroying some of their mana.

Ice Claw - The inescapable frozen death. In a matter of seconds the Ice Elemental impales every enemy nearby on sharp ice sticks that pierce violently through their bodies, dealing severe damage.

Fire Nova - The Flame Elemental channels all its burning hatred through its body. When the channeling reaches its peak, the Elemental disappears into a huge massive explosion that deals enormous amounts of damage to any enemy that has the luck to be caught in the radius of the explosion. Charred and completely burned, most of the enemies will not survive such an attack. But 5 seconds after its first disappearance, the Flame Elemental will reappear only to create another explosion of the same devastating scale, completely wiping out anything alive in a certain radius.


Well, this is it. I didn't change the name of the spells, you can choose what names to give them. I'm sorry if the descriptions aren't very good, buut it's kinda late and I'm a little bit sleepy and stuff, and I'm stupid too, so I'm probably not good at all this things -.-. I hope I helped at least a little. If you need anything in the future, just PM me. Also, I must say that your spells look very nice and I can't wait to see your campaign when it's done. Good luck, dude, I hope everything goes smoothly and you make something icredible *thumbs up* ^_^.

 

[Aeroblyctos]

Okay, thanks for the help. I'll ask you later more, because you are great!

Thanks again, credits are here. I know that's a huge list but if you are can do more I'll put you into special credits.

 

[Nbah]

Anytime, dude ^_^. Just ask when you need me [: