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That's exactly what I do not want.
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Character Introductions
- Status
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- Sep 17, 2009
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- 1,297
What i got in my mind:
"Kari wanted to be an engineer as far as he could remember. He went to the best school in the country, and made his dreams come true. He was able to create almost any machine, but he used his knowledge in the wrong way. He worked only for fame, he often hurted others. He even forced others to love, and worship things they didn't want.
Once he got caught outside in the desert with his motorbike Ikarus. He ran out of fuel, and was alone and helpless for days. He had visions of a medieval kinght, Ser Lightbringer. Lightbringer became his mentor in the endless desert. He reformed Kari's point of view. Opened his eyes to things that really matter, and led him out of the desert.
Kari is trying to be a good person now"
Let me know what should i change
"Kari wanted to be an engineer as far as he could remember. He went to the best school in the country, and made his dreams come true. He was able to create almost any machine, but he used his knowledge in the wrong way. He worked only for fame, he often hurted others. He even forced others to love, and worship things they didn't want.
Once he got caught outside in the desert with his motorbike Ikarus. He ran out of fuel, and was alone and helpless for days. He had visions of a medieval kinght, Ser Lightbringer. Lightbringer became his mentor in the endless desert. He reformed Kari's point of view. Opened his eyes to things that really matter, and led him out of the desert.
Kari is trying to be a good person now"
Let me know what should i change
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I love the easter egg about forcing people to love x)
Maybe add something about how he found Ser Lightbringer, or did he only meet him through visions? And add all the typical stuff with age, gender and class/occupation, and a pic of your char would be nice
Maybe add something about how he found Ser Lightbringer, or did he only meet him through visions? And add all the typical stuff with age, gender and class/occupation, and a pic of your char would be nice
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- Sep 17, 2009
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Yea my plan was to polish the backstory first
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I'm moving the discussion here - for some reason we discuss our topics the wrong places all the time x)
Anyways Paillan, yeah I must admit your character needs a lot of change. Actually, I'd suggest starting all over, making an entirely new one. Because what's wrong with the character is not the minor details, but the basic stuff, which are most important obviously.
If you want to know why, I'd say having a character that wants to slay Gods is OP - Gods are Gods, and they should be treated as almighty, unreachable and immortal beings. Being able to turn drawings into reality, which was and still is my dream ability by the way, gives you unlimited power since you can draw anything and make it real, thus OP too.
Sometimes there's nothing wrong with being OP, but Dinkleberg is a 21 year old human wearing pants, a white T-shirt and a jacket. That really doesn't match his powers at all in my opinion.
I'd say choose a single topic, instead of blending hundred topics into a messy mix, like now; God-hunting Jedi Wizard using artistic card magic, wearing ordinary clothes.
Something cool, but not too cool, like you did at first with half-angel/half-demon fighter, and stick to that, without making too much extra stuff. Simple as that
I, and probably some of the others too, would love to help you out, either with ideas before you make it or feedback afterwards
Anyways Paillan, yeah I must admit your character needs a lot of change. Actually, I'd suggest starting all over, making an entirely new one. Because what's wrong with the character is not the minor details, but the basic stuff, which are most important obviously.
If you want to know why, I'd say having a character that wants to slay Gods is OP - Gods are Gods, and they should be treated as almighty, unreachable and immortal beings. Being able to turn drawings into reality, which was and still is my dream ability by the way, gives you unlimited power since you can draw anything and make it real, thus OP too.
Sometimes there's nothing wrong with being OP, but Dinkleberg is a 21 year old human wearing pants, a white T-shirt and a jacket. That really doesn't match his powers at all in my opinion.
I'd say choose a single topic, instead of blending hundred topics into a messy mix, like now; God-hunting Jedi Wizard using artistic card magic, wearing ordinary clothes.
Something cool, but not too cool, like you did at first with half-angel/half-demon fighter, and stick to that, without making too much extra stuff. Simple as that
I, and probably some of the others too, would love to help you out, either with ideas before you make it or feedback afterwards
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- Nov 17, 2008
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- 17,315
...did he seriously name his character Dinkleberg?
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- Jan 22, 2011
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- 3,968
nope, that was the name of the hidden tag, I never change my name!
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- Mar 21, 2008
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- 6,417
And that truly is a trait worth of having...
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- Jun 29, 2009
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- 6,760
Okay, here is the minor changes to my character introduction, as requested
Age: Somewhere in his fourties
Race: Orc
Occupation: World Traveller (Explorer)
Appearance:
Am'ar is of a muscular structure, with the average orcish light green skin. Unusual, however, is his two big teeth pointing down from his upper lip. The bald top of his head is covered by a leathery cowboy-hat, and his eyes covered by black sunglasses. He got well-developed sideburns on his cheeks, and stubble on the chin. He is often smoking cigars too.
He also wears a ragged brown vest, revealing a scar on his hairy chest. One shoulder pad is attached to his left shoulder by a leather-belt around the stomach. He has a round belt with two letters saying "DP", a wrench in his pocket and heavy boots.
Personality:
Am'ar is an unusually calm and kind orc. A man of action, who loves to engage in combat, which is typical for his kind. He is loyal and caring to his friends, and likes to meet new friends. For an Orc, he is very intelligent, but his obsession of getting to know his lost past and irritation of being disrespected often becomes a problem for him.
Abilities:
In combat, Am'ar relies mostly on his skills using his staff of alienated wood, which can become a scythe. He is a skilled, strong and agile fighter that usually can handle several enemies at a time. A magical crystal on the top of his staff can be used to Time Stop enemies for a limited duration. Sometimes, when the battle gets too intense, he will use his powerful GC3 gun instead, which can shoot powerful magical beams, but only in worst case, since the needed batteries are expensive and hard to get.
Background story:
After many years of travelling between worlds, training to become a better fighter and doing what good he could, Am'ar ended up losing his memories from the dangerous portal rifts. He stopped his endless journey, helping the forces of good in that world and even got himself a family. However, his family was kidnapped by an evil mistress and he seeked her out to claim it back, but her powers were too great.
She then sent him through another rift, cursing him to never again meet his family until her own death, but he was heading far away to an entirely new world. On the new planet he ended up in fiery prison fortress, with hundreds of prisoners belonging to the world's unknown rulers...
And story continues, once the roleplay starts...
(PS: I haven't got my hat and cigar yet, and my sideburns aren't that huge, but they will be. The skull I'm holding in the drawing, Kenny, is just an Easter Egg and I don't have that either)
Age: Somewhere in his fourties
Race: Orc
Occupation: World Traveller (Explorer)
Appearance:
Am'ar is of a muscular structure, with the average orcish light green skin. Unusual, however, is his two big teeth pointing down from his upper lip. The bald top of his head is covered by a leathery cowboy-hat, and his eyes covered by black sunglasses. He got well-developed sideburns on his cheeks, and stubble on the chin. He is often smoking cigars too.
He also wears a ragged brown vest, revealing a scar on his hairy chest. One shoulder pad is attached to his left shoulder by a leather-belt around the stomach. He has a round belt with two letters saying "DP", a wrench in his pocket and heavy boots.
Personality:
Am'ar is an unusually calm and kind orc. A man of action, who loves to engage in combat, which is typical for his kind. He is loyal and caring to his friends, and likes to meet new friends. For an Orc, he is very intelligent, but his obsession of getting to know his lost past and irritation of being disrespected often becomes a problem for him.
Abilities:
In combat, Am'ar relies mostly on his skills using his staff of alienated wood, which can become a scythe. He is a skilled, strong and agile fighter that usually can handle several enemies at a time. A magical crystal on the top of his staff can be used to Time Stop enemies for a limited duration. Sometimes, when the battle gets too intense, he will use his powerful GC3 gun instead, which can shoot powerful magical beams, but only in worst case, since the needed batteries are expensive and hard to get.
Background story:
After many years of travelling between worlds, training to become a better fighter and doing what good he could, Am'ar ended up losing his memories from the dangerous portal rifts. He stopped his endless journey, helping the forces of good in that world and even got himself a family. However, his family was kidnapped by an evil mistress and he seeked her out to claim it back, but her powers were too great.
She then sent him through another rift, cursing him to never again meet his family until her own death, but he was heading far away to an entirely new world. On the new planet he ended up in fiery prison fortress, with hundreds of prisoners belonging to the world's unknown rulers...
And story continues, once the roleplay starts...
(PS: I haven't got my hat and cigar yet, and my sideburns aren't that huge, but they will be. The skull I'm holding in the drawing, Kenny, is just an Easter Egg and I don't have that either)
- Joined
- Jul 7, 2013
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- 141
I wanna join the RP so here's my char:
Name: Eli Vermilion
Age: 16 - 18 (Not really known. He's a teenager)
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Appearance: A young male human wearing some clothing that looks more modern than any clothing the humans have ever worn. He is blind but is not having trouble moving around.
Backstory: Eli was just found lying in the middle of the ordinary forest. He did not have any memory of where he came from or who he is. All he has is a slightly burnt ID with the name Eli Vermilion and some memories of a girl of a similar age reaching out for him while he is being sucked into a big explosion in some kind of laboratory. People say that before they found Eli, a huge storm cloud appeared and lightning struck the area where he was found. He was not injured or even wounded and only his clothes were slightly damaged. When the people asked him if he was okay, he just asked where he was and what the date was. Ever since, he would seldom talk to anyone except those that he really trust. The only thing that made the people decide to let him stay in their city was because of his great abilities.
Abilities:
-High intelligence
-Create machines that is not yet known in the current world
-Can come up with the best strategies even when in the midst of battle.
-Is a very good cook
and that's all I could do for now. Cheers!
Name: Eli Vermilion
Age: 16 - 18 (Not really known. He's a teenager)
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Appearance: A young male human wearing some clothing that looks more modern than any clothing the humans have ever worn. He is blind but is not having trouble moving around.
Backstory: Eli was just found lying in the middle of the ordinary forest. He did not have any memory of where he came from or who he is. All he has is a slightly burnt ID with the name Eli Vermilion and some memories of a girl of a similar age reaching out for him while he is being sucked into a big explosion in some kind of laboratory. People say that before they found Eli, a huge storm cloud appeared and lightning struck the area where he was found. He was not injured or even wounded and only his clothes were slightly damaged. When the people asked him if he was okay, he just asked where he was and what the date was. Ever since, he would seldom talk to anyone except those that he really trust. The only thing that made the people decide to let him stay in their city was because of his great abilities.
Abilities:
-High intelligence
-Create machines that is not yet known in the current world
-Can come up with the best strategies even when in the midst of battle.
-Is a very good cook
and that's all I could do for now. Cheers!
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- Jun 29, 2009
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- 6,760
Wow, I just love that intro! Welcome to the group
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Please do not refer to it as 'ordinary forest'.
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It would be awesome if you were female, because there are too many males, besides bern. But fantastic abilities, can't wait to meet you in the world.
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Uh. Alagremm is not a male in this one.
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- 1,982
Ah good, I can have an evil girlfriend who I can call upon whenever I want to and torture.
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Automatically evil.
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After I kill you, Shao, after I kill you, I will torture Alagremm.
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That makes an awful lot of sense.
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- Jul 7, 2013
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- 141
Well, it is called "ordinary forest" in the map so I called it that way but okay, I'll remove the ordinary part and just leave it as 'forest'. And I did have plans to make a female character but I just don't have the skills to draw a girl, especially when I just doodle. I don't know how to draw boobs.
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- Mar 21, 2008
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Well I do not approve any of those names on the map.
And I trust that nobody else does either.
And I trust that nobody else does either.
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- Jan 22, 2011
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- 3,968
I liked the totally ordinary forest. And yeah drawing boobs is a pain in the ass (females thend to make them too small while males thend to make'em to big, meh what ever) Meaby something I can draw good are females...
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The names that are featured on the map are only to describe the regions, not actual names. As I said, I'll leave that up to you guysDescription on Vika'el map said:
Deleted member 212788
D
Deleted member 212788
Well, I guess I'll be joining as well. He's my character.
Name:Tirren Dorn
Age:23
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Occupation:Mercenary
Personality: Unlike the other brutes found within taverns and on the streets, Tirren hardly every starts a fight willingly. He is calm, almost never panics and does not speak too much. He, however, is intolerant to failure and thus puts himself through rigorous training. This is also the reason he has refused to take in apprentices in the past, which is the only way to restore his clan. He finds little joy in the world he lives in and is suspicious of everyone around him, fearing betrayal. Tirren is a lone wolf who tries not to get attached to others, so as to avoid suffering.
Backstory: Tirren is a descendant of an ancient clan of Guardians, devoted to protecting Lanessa's temple, which is situated deep withing the Valkyrie mountains. The day on which he would be officially titled "Temple Knight", the Shrine was attack by the bloodmist bandits. Despite their incorruptible zeal, the Knights were overwhelmed by the numbers of the pillagers, they were annihilated. Amongst the bodies of his fallen people, Tirren found himself half dead, unable to do anything. On that day, he vowed to restore "The First Flame" to it's rightful place.
Abilities:
-Unmatched with a greatsword
-Basic Pyromancy (Able to invoke and manipulate fire for a short duration)
-Inner Vitality(Immune to poison and toxins) - [Innate clan ability]
-Strong memory
Age:23
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Occupation:Mercenary
Personality: Unlike the other brutes found within taverns and on the streets, Tirren hardly every starts a fight willingly. He is calm, almost never panics and does not speak too much. He, however, is intolerant to failure and thus puts himself through rigorous training. This is also the reason he has refused to take in apprentices in the past, which is the only way to restore his clan. He finds little joy in the world he lives in and is suspicious of everyone around him, fearing betrayal. Tirren is a lone wolf who tries not to get attached to others, so as to avoid suffering.
Backstory: Tirren is a descendant of an ancient clan of Guardians, devoted to protecting Lanessa's temple, which is situated deep withing the Valkyrie mountains. The day on which he would be officially titled "Temple Knight", the Shrine was attack by the bloodmist bandits. Despite their incorruptible zeal, the Knights were overwhelmed by the numbers of the pillagers, they were annihilated. Amongst the bodies of his fallen people, Tirren found himself half dead, unable to do anything. On that day, he vowed to restore "The First Flame" to it's rightful place.
Abilities:
-Unmatched with a greatsword
-Basic Pyromancy (Able to invoke and manipulate fire for a short duration)
-Inner Vitality(Immune to poison and toxins) - [Innate clan ability]
-Strong memory
- Joined
- Mar 21, 2008
- Messages
- 6,417
You don't guess stuff.
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- Jun 29, 2009
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- 6,760
Wow, that's awzum! Only thing is that he is heavily medieval-themed, whereas the other players are mostly futuristic, but I think we can work out something with one part of the world being populated by medieval people, while the area around the "futuristic city" is populated by the human newcomers, who came from space and brought technology with them. And the two kinds of humans don't interact much, or perhaps don't even know of eachother's existance?
Deleted member 212788
D
Deleted member 212788
Who said you can't have everything? Tirren is a descendant of the old empire, probably the last follower of the traditions. - one reason for being overwhelmed easily, technological advances
Tirren is a descendant of the old empire, probably the last follower of the traditions. - one reason for being overwhelmed easily, technological advances
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The idea with the open fantasy theme was actually to have everything, so makes sense ^^
You think you can place his location somewhere on the custom world map?
You think you can place his location somewhere on the custom world map?
Deleted member 212788
D
Deleted member 212788
The strongest of his people, able to adapt, chasing dreams and a lost cause. He's basically a lost soul.
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- Sep 17, 2009
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Awesome character DS!
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- Jan 22, 2011
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- 3,968
-this post was never here-
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING
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DS wrote in his biography that the temple he came from was situated deep within the Valkyrie Mountains - and he sent me a visitor message saying that he wanted to be in the mountains somewhere in the Snowlands, from the World Map. That means no little paradise town on a sunny island, I'm sorry to say Paillan.
Deleted member 212788
D
Deleted member 212788
Personally, I don't see why we can't have both. Just make up a reasonable explanation.
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- Jan 22, 2011
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just forget all that.
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Well, you are the one to decide. That is neither mine or Paillan's job to do
Deleted member 212788
D
Deleted member 212788
Mine? why mine? It is his idea, I don't think I should be the one to say whether it's going to be included or not. Plus, i don't see why a paradise island would not work alongside my temple. Frankly, I can't see the connection.
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- Jan 22, 2011
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I doesn't matter much...
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- Jan 21, 2012
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- 1,982
I feel like roleplaying in minecraft
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- 6,760
Yeah, don't misunderstand - I must admit that I couldn't see the sense in it personally, but that's just me, so if you want it to be the way Paillan suggested, sure go ahead, it's not my choice to make
Deleted member 212788
D
Deleted member 212788
But why should I decide? It's his idea, he should do it.
Roland
R
Roland
<post outdated>
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- Jun 29, 2009
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- 6,760
@DS: Okay apparently I'm not good at explaining it, so forget what I said, and do what Paillan said x)
@Roland: Very interesting! However, yes it needs some editing with grammar - I'll gladly help with that tho. Expect a message coming up, but first I'd like to ask a few questions:
1. Why is he called the Weasel Guardian? Is he guarding weasels? Or something else?
2. You mentioned that you lived on the "Oraston World"? Sooo.. you're not gonna be on planet Vi'kael with the rest of us?
3. Why is he wearing a demon's head as armor? Isn't that a bit evil for a druid? And where did he got the head from in that case? Not that I mind you use it.
4. You also mentioned his left hand being "smashed" (?) due to a battle with an Ogre. You didn't mention any ogres in the background story tho, so is that a mistake, or is there a part of the story we haven't heard.
5. Oh, and is he a mutant weasel? Since he can walk on two legs and talk and all that? Or does a race of weasel-men exist in this RP?
Anyways, looks good
@Roland: Very interesting! However, yes it needs some editing with grammar - I'll gladly help with that tho. Expect a message coming up, but first I'd like to ask a few questions:
1. Why is he called the Weasel Guardian? Is he guarding weasels? Or something else?
2. You mentioned that you lived on the "Oraston World"? Sooo.. you're not gonna be on planet Vi'kael with the rest of us?
3. Why is he wearing a demon's head as armor? Isn't that a bit evil for a druid? And where did he got the head from in that case? Not that I mind you use it.
4. You also mentioned his left hand being "smashed" (?) due to a battle with an Ogre. You didn't mention any ogres in the background story tho, so is that a mistake, or is there a part of the story we haven't heard.
5. Oh, and is he a mutant weasel? Since he can walk on two legs and talk and all that? Or does a race of weasel-men exist in this RP?
Anyways, looks good
Roland
R
Roland
1. I named Jar'Hera as the Weasel guardian cause He will guard every single Weasels roaming around on the Vi'kael World.
2. Vi'Kael? Oh, I forgot. Anyway, I'd rather prefer my own Ideas and my ways, But it's cool. I'm editing Oraston to Vi'kael.
3. He has a Demon head cause he also slain a Demon destroying the dens of the Poor cute and cuddly weasels and his friends.
4. I'm too tired on adding more of the stories, Amigo. I might have some time to change it tho.
5. It exists for me
2. Vi'Kael? Oh, I forgot. Anyway, I'd rather prefer my own Ideas and my ways, But it's cool. I'm editing Oraston to Vi'kael.
3. He has a Demon head cause he also slain a Demon destroying the dens of the Poor cute and cuddly weasels and his friends.
4. I'm too tired on adding more of the stories, Amigo. I might have some time to change it tho.
5. It exists for me
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- Mar 21, 2008
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That, is time travel.
Roland
R
Roland
Amargaard will work on repairing the grammars and some stuff then I'll update the post once it's now complete C:
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- Jun 29, 2009
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- 6,760
Ssssh, it's a secret! But do you like the changes I did so far?
Roland
R
Roland
Yeah, it's fine! Thanks anyway!
Thanks anyway!Roland
R
Roland
I have edited and updated Jar'hara's information, We'll work on his personality and his abilities later
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- Aug 7, 2011
- Messages
- 1,638
Hmm... Does the character have to be serious? Cuz I was hoping for a marine moose with 3 sniper rifles attached to his hooves...
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- Mar 21, 2008
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- 6,417
Get out.
- Joined
- Jan 21, 2012
- Messages
- 1,982
Moose suck.
- Status
