- Joined
- Jun 23, 2009
- Messages
- 4,787
Hello Hive Workshop.
I am making this thread to clean up the mess I left behind here, to provide an explanation of what happened - or rather, what didn't happen - and to give you an apology.
The vast majority of the people seeing this thread will probably think 'Who the hell is this guy and why is he being all melodramatic?'. To all the people who think that, I wish you a good day and good fortune. This thread is not aimed at you, and there probably isn't much of interest for you here at all.
This thread is made for the few people who a (relatively) long time ago knew this weird guy named Dragonson, who disappeared. Repeatedly.
First off; I'm sorry. What some of you might expect here is an tale of strange events which occurred in my life which led me to abandon the hive, but there won't be much of that here. You see, I don't really have an excuse. Not a good one anyway.
Sure, a lot of strange events did occur, and for the longest time my life has been kind of a mess. None of these strange events, however, really explain or justify my comings and goings here at the hive.
I was, and to some extent I still am, just a kid who had no idea what he was doing.
For promising more than I could deliver and leaving without a word, I am sorry.
But, even though I don't have an excuse I do have an explanation. Kind of.
When I started Bladetitan Signatures roughly four years ago I was 13 years old. Well, technically I was almost 14, but that's a minor detail.
I had no idea what I was getting myself into and I was pretty much just copying some stuff I'd seen on the Spore forums (which was a surprisingly large community back then, might I add).
The success I had with the sig workshop was completely unexpected to me, but to the 14-year-old me it was the most fantastic thing I had ever been part of.
I was doing things, and people liked those things. As pathetic as I realize that it sounds, that was the first time I had ever experienced that.
It was awesome, and while it lasted it was like a second home to me.
To all those of you who were there during the rise, rule and fall of Bladeitan;
Thank you. Your presence back then means far more to me than I could ever express.
What caused my disappearance(s) was not illness, nor lack of time or incapability to continue my work. The best way for me to describe it in simple terms would probably be 'confusion'.
What exactly happened in my mind back then defies logic, and I'm not even sure I remember that much of it myself.
As for my 'final' disappearance roughly a year-and-a-half ago, well...
I wanted to return and clean everything up, perhaps make things go back to the way they were. I should have been capable of doing that, but I was not.
Again, I honestly couldn't tell you what was going on in my head. I somehow reached the conclusion that the best way to deal with everything was just to fade away and leave no trace.
Damn that sounds so terribly stupid in retrospect.
So, why did I come back to say sorry and not just stay disappeared?
Well... there's a list of reasons.
First off I felt bad about it. Ever since I disappeared for the first time It's been a thorn in my conscience, which over the years has grown into a dagger's blade. I'm so goddamn sorry for behaving as I have, I truly am. If for nothing else, you people at least deserved an apology.
The hive was like a home away from home for me. It was almost literally where I grew up, and it became my gateway to the rest of the internet.
Leaving it without a proper goodbye felt wrong from the very beginning.
I've got many fond memories of this place, but as I had unfinished business here they were bittersweet at best.
I left a lot of people here, friends and accomplices who I've many times regretted not holding on to. I came back to give these people a proper apology, and see how they're doing. At the very least they deserve to know what the f*ck was going on.
I made a promise. I promised I'd finish the list of requests people had given me, and I intend to keep that promise.
Bladetitan is not going to re-open, or be re-born. Well, not unless somebody else wants to take the mantle anyway. But I intend to fulfill the promise I made, or die trying.
So, if there is ANYONE who was on the waiting list and did not get their request made, send me a PM. I'll take care of it.
And, although I realize you have no reason at all to believe me, I am going to get it goddamn done this time.
And, finally...
Bladetitan Signatures was and is one of my proudest achievements. Considering my age and inexperience, what I did back then is something worth remembering.
I want to be able to tell people about it without adding a bloody asterisk at the end of every sentence.
So, in conclusion:
I'm sorry. I don't have an excuse, and if you're angry at me for doing what I did and behaving as I have behaved then your anger is completely justified.
For now I'm going to hang around the hive for a bit and see how the place has changed or hasn't changed. I'll try to see how everyone's doing and how many of the people I know from here who's still around.
If you have anything you want to say to me or ask me, please go ahead. I'll answer as best I can.
As a final note, here's a picture of me to prove that I am not a figment of your imagination.
(Don't ask, there's been some weird theories going around)
Cheers, hive. Stay classy.
I am making this thread to clean up the mess I left behind here, to provide an explanation of what happened - or rather, what didn't happen - and to give you an apology.
The vast majority of the people seeing this thread will probably think 'Who the hell is this guy and why is he being all melodramatic?'. To all the people who think that, I wish you a good day and good fortune. This thread is not aimed at you, and there probably isn't much of interest for you here at all.
This thread is made for the few people who a (relatively) long time ago knew this weird guy named Dragonson, who disappeared. Repeatedly.
First off; I'm sorry. What some of you might expect here is an tale of strange events which occurred in my life which led me to abandon the hive, but there won't be much of that here. You see, I don't really have an excuse. Not a good one anyway.
Sure, a lot of strange events did occur, and for the longest time my life has been kind of a mess. None of these strange events, however, really explain or justify my comings and goings here at the hive.
I was, and to some extent I still am, just a kid who had no idea what he was doing.
For promising more than I could deliver and leaving without a word, I am sorry.
But, even though I don't have an excuse I do have an explanation. Kind of.
When I started Bladetitan Signatures roughly four years ago I was 13 years old. Well, technically I was almost 14, but that's a minor detail.
I had no idea what I was getting myself into and I was pretty much just copying some stuff I'd seen on the Spore forums (which was a surprisingly large community back then, might I add).
The success I had with the sig workshop was completely unexpected to me, but to the 14-year-old me it was the most fantastic thing I had ever been part of.
I was doing things, and people liked those things. As pathetic as I realize that it sounds, that was the first time I had ever experienced that.
It was awesome, and while it lasted it was like a second home to me.
To all those of you who were there during the rise, rule and fall of Bladeitan;
Thank you. Your presence back then means far more to me than I could ever express.
What caused my disappearance(s) was not illness, nor lack of time or incapability to continue my work. The best way for me to describe it in simple terms would probably be 'confusion'.
What exactly happened in my mind back then defies logic, and I'm not even sure I remember that much of it myself.
As for my 'final' disappearance roughly a year-and-a-half ago, well...
I wanted to return and clean everything up, perhaps make things go back to the way they were. I should have been capable of doing that, but I was not.
Again, I honestly couldn't tell you what was going on in my head. I somehow reached the conclusion that the best way to deal with everything was just to fade away and leave no trace.
Damn that sounds so terribly stupid in retrospect.
So, why did I come back to say sorry and not just stay disappeared?
Well... there's a list of reasons.
First off I felt bad about it. Ever since I disappeared for the first time It's been a thorn in my conscience, which over the years has grown into a dagger's blade. I'm so goddamn sorry for behaving as I have, I truly am. If for nothing else, you people at least deserved an apology.
The hive was like a home away from home for me. It was almost literally where I grew up, and it became my gateway to the rest of the internet.
Leaving it without a proper goodbye felt wrong from the very beginning.
I've got many fond memories of this place, but as I had unfinished business here they were bittersweet at best.
I left a lot of people here, friends and accomplices who I've many times regretted not holding on to. I came back to give these people a proper apology, and see how they're doing. At the very least they deserve to know what the f*ck was going on.
I made a promise. I promised I'd finish the list of requests people had given me, and I intend to keep that promise.
Bladetitan is not going to re-open, or be re-born. Well, not unless somebody else wants to take the mantle anyway. But I intend to fulfill the promise I made, or die trying.
So, if there is ANYONE who was on the waiting list and did not get their request made, send me a PM. I'll take care of it.
And, although I realize you have no reason at all to believe me, I am going to get it goddamn done this time.
And, finally...
Bladetitan Signatures was and is one of my proudest achievements. Considering my age and inexperience, what I did back then is something worth remembering.
I want to be able to tell people about it without adding a bloody asterisk at the end of every sentence.
So, in conclusion:
I'm sorry. I don't have an excuse, and if you're angry at me for doing what I did and behaving as I have behaved then your anger is completely justified.
For now I'm going to hang around the hive for a bit and see how the place has changed or hasn't changed. I'll try to see how everyone's doing and how many of the people I know from here who's still around.
If you have anything you want to say to me or ask me, please go ahead. I'll answer as best I can.
As a final note, here's a picture of me to prove that I am not a figment of your imagination.
(Don't ask, there's been some weird theories going around)
Cheers, hive. Stay classy.
