[Cinematic] The Captured Acolyte

[Shiroaisu]

Hi everyone.

I made a cinematic called "The Captured Acolyte" That tells what hapen to him wen he his captured by some burning legion soldiers.

Its not too big but i think its ok for the first one.
Pls leave comments and have fun

 

[CMarket]

Well...it isn't that good, but don't let that keep you down. You need to spend some more time on your cinematics, make them last at least a few minutes.

Ok, so, the terrain was pretty awful, the doodads around the acolyte seemed to be randomly placed, behind the demons there was complete emptiness.

The story didn't make much sense either because I doubt the burning legion would ask a simple acolyte to join them more then once. It's a simple acolyte, not Kel'Thuzad.

The screenplay was ok, I guess. I didn't really notice any major spelling errors(but I didn't look too hard). You misspelled when as wen.

My advice is to take a look at some other, more popular cinematics and get some inspiration from them. You can check out my Sect of the Holy Mother series(located in my signature) where you can see a huge improvement from part 1 to part 8, plus I'm sure you'll love the story.

 

[Shiroaisu]

Hi.

Sory this is a little late but i must thank you for your review.
and i saw the cinematics, They are Very cool.

 

[Septimus]

You already make the first typo error at the map title by written it as Acolite.
You should have post some basic information at the loading screen.

And I have to agree with all those stuff mention by CMarket, the camera also hardly move. Once the camera stop at the altar area, it completely stay lock. You should at least make it moving around.

Without a voice actor and the camera stay lock all the time, it make the audience feel bored as they only have to read the dialog conversation all the time. To make matter even worst, if the storyline is bad or doesn't make sense. It would totally kill the joy of it.

A cinematic should at least last 3 minutes. What's the point of making it if you make it last less than 3 minutes ?

In addition, you should make the victory condition to skip dialog and scores.
If you post this at map resources, I would not approve it cause of those problem. If you ask me the overall score, I would probably give it 14/100.

Sorry if I had been brutally honest, but that is what I do with my review lately. You need to give more effort into it, I could sense that you lack of effort based on your map condition.

You should try make the camera moving all the time and only stop it if it is necessary. You can try view my cinematic as well, my cinematic probably have the most camera movement. I never let the camera stop moving... lol

 

[udg_Potato]

Not so good,but not so bad either...try to re-do it again..maybe it will be better

 

[doom_sheep]

since its that short u should split the transmissions. like this

acolyte: NEVER
acolyte: ill never join u
acolyte: <blah blah blah>

 

[udg_Potato]

Well I don't understand you very well,but can you explain me more detailed please?

 

[leet.firefox]

He means you should cut up the dialog and display it piece by piece in order to lengthen the story and keep readers more interested. Reading one giant chunk of dialog over and over can get incredibly boring. Also, why so little camera movement. One of the most boring thing in a cinematic is a static camera.

 

[greasontim]

maybe some more movement in general like all the units move up to the place(including the acolyte to hes little holding area)