The Beginning

[Moderator]

10:18, 28th Feb 2009 by bounty hunter2:
A cinematic without a good story, cameras, terrain or dialog. You need improvements. Rejected until Updated.

You can find my full review Here.

 

[APproject]

Well this is nice, this chinematic could be great storyline improving Champaign stuff. 5/5

 

[Septimus]

The game text goes a bit fast especially when the dialog was long.
Terrain and camera was ok, but the terrain at the last scenario seems to be a bit... unnatural.

And where was the Warden looking at ? Just look at this screenshot below.

Overall, the cinematic looks decent to me and was good enough for approval.

3/5 from me.

 

[Mechmap]

This cinematic was good, nothing speciall about it though. I particuarly disliked the last scene with the army because of the terrain. Improve your terrain and come back with an even greater cinematic.

 

[Zelda.Alex]

You have written in details that "It is about some Night Elves that discover a force that might destroy the Human race.". Mind telling what are the human race has to do with the army's attack when it is attacking the night elves according to your cinematic?

The last scene of the army and the base was somewhat weird.the units were placed as 1 orc and 1 undead.well as the orc and undead are allying it is logical to place both's units but if you place them separately then it would be much better looking. Also the Terrain was awkward in this scene.due to the necropolis some part was the undead land and other was green.the combination was bad looking.there were too much difference in the height of the terrain too.try to improve it.

i will be waiting for the improved version.i hope you release it soon along with the next parts.

i will give it 2/5

 

[Far Aldazar Din]

You have written in details that "It is about some Night Elves that discover a force that might destroy the Human race.". Mind telling what are the human race has to do with the army's attack when it is attacking the night elves according to your cinematic?

You just have to think about it ... If the Orc and Undead take over the Humans they will become stronger and stronger ... Until the point that they are stronger than the Night Elves. So, Olivia and Abigail are indirectly saving the Night Elf race.

 

[f0rsAk3n]

Well its not that bad, tho i dont get the part at the end , it zooms in the mountain so you can see the army , why dont you make it to zoom above the army? , other then that , Great Job. 4/5

 

[shadowslayer133]

............

 

[Lynxxx]

I like this cinematic. "Mew" is my favorite hero ^^. And the envoirment is great!
P.S. grunts are not so weak to die from 1 touch. It's just killing me ;q!

 

[Zelda.Alex]

I saw your updated version now.
I must say the terrain has been improved in the last scene.

You can make the last scene more interesting if you can add certain speech from the traitor leaders to the army that haas assembled there.

You have used a runner[dyrad] in the cinematic which comes to the heros by teleporting. If teleporting is possible then i cannot see why the armies will not reach in time and also why the base was a day's walk.

I still do not understand why have you said that "If the Orc and Undead take over the Humans" ?There is nothing in the cinematic regarding humans. There are undead , orc and night elves' units.But there was not even a single human in the cinematic nor was any reference to the humans as far as i was able to understand at least. Mind explaining a bit?

You have mentioned certain names in the cinematic but would you please explain who they are really.It would be a better beginning if we can get the grasp of who will be displeased be treachery and also a little bit regarding the place you are trying to set this cinematic in.

I am looking forward to the next cinematic.When do you hope to release it?

 

[Far Aldazar Din]

Zelda, reread the post I submitted earlier. I didn't really think about the teleporting problem. I'll have to think about that later. Regarding the names, I will probably explain them later in the story. Just be patient.

As for the next episode, I am working on it as we speak. I cannot give an exact date, but I will release it as soon as I can. Thank you for your compliments and I am honored that you like the Cinematic.

EDIT:

P.S. grunts are not so weak to die from 1 touch. It's just killing me ;q!

Berethil is supposed to be powerful since he is an Orc leader. He has the power to kill lowly Grunts in one hit.

 

[Zelda.Alex]

I forgot to say that seeing the improvement i changed my rating to 3/5 .it still needs improvement so the 3.hope that you make it even better.

 

[DredLord2]

Overall nice, but the story didnt make much sense, The orcs and undead team up, even though they r rly alrdy allies..., and then what? never says wat the point of it all was.

 

[bounty hunter2]

Here is my rating and comment:

1 - 10 points go on originality
1 - 10 points go on object editor work
1 - 10 points go on scripting
1 - 10 points go on terrain
1 - 10 points go on bug free
1 - 10 points go on gameplay*/fun factor
1 - 10 points go on lag
1 - 10 points go on proper submission and crediting
-------------------------------------------------
That equals 80 points max.
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+ Cinematic
1 - 10 points on camera work
1 - 10 points on dialog
1 - 10 points on music and or voice acting
- Cinematic
Object editor work
* Not in cinematic
-------------------------------------------------
->That equals 100 points max.
To get a Hive grade over 1/5 at least 50% of the 80 (Triggered map) or of the 100 (Cinematic map) points is needed. That means at least 40 or 50 points. However if a map gets rated over 1/5 by me, that doesn't mean that I will imidietly vote it to be approved.

Originality: 3 points
Well the story wasn't all that original. Two factions make a pact and the other faction tries to defend. This can develop to something, but nothing much so far.

Camera work: 3 points
Mostly bad static cameras, keep your cameras fluid.

Scripting: 5 points
Basic triggering that anyone could do, nothing special.

Terrain: 4 points
This wasn't much of a good terrain, you could improve it a lot. The part where the gate was, the army part.

Bug Free: 10 points
Runs fine.

Gameplay/Fun Factor: 4 points
Well the story didn't intrigate me that much, so I can't say I had a blast watching this. You need more interesting details, things to make the cinematic more fun to watch.

Lag: 10 points
Fine loading time, no lag.

Proper submission and crediting: 5 points
You need images, more info.

Dialog: 3 points
You didn't convince me this took part in some ancient universe. This wasn't good dialog, it reminded me too much of todays dialog. You should improve it.

Music and or voice acting: 3 points
The regular warcraft music didn't help the atmosphere at all. You should import some music to help your atmosphere. As I say 50% of the cinematic is music.

In overall: 49 / 100
49% minimal 50% not met.
For the hive grade: 1/5 I suggest this map for: On Hold
-------------------------------------------------
In overall it is a cinematic that is okay, but I can't say I am impressed. What it misses is some decent action scenes, music, better terrain. Improve this things and the quality of your cinematic will improve in overall. You also need camera improvements, take a look on my tutorial about improving your cinematic:

http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/f278/various-tips-cinematic-maker-112768/

For now a 1/5, till you fix what must be fix, then I will probably vote for approval.

Good Luck, bounty hunter2
I might not be checking this topic for some time. If you have any questions about the review or you update the map and want me to check it again, feel free to PM me or Visitor message me at any time.

 

[Zelda.Alex]

Updated Version's Changes

What was the change in this map on your update at "00:26, 31st Jan 2009".
I saw it but wasn't able to see any change. What did i miss?