1. Updated Resource Submission Rules: All model & skin resource submissions must now include an in-game screenshot. This is to help speed up the moderation process and to show how the model and/or texture looks like from the in-game camera.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. DID YOU KNOW - That you can unlock new rank icons by posting on the forums or winning contests? Click here to customize your rank or read our User Rank Policy to see a list of ranks that you can unlock. Have you won a contest and still haven't received your rank award? Then please contact the administration.
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Ride into the sunset with the 32nd Modeling Contest.
    Dismiss Notice
  4. This adventure has come to an end. Congratulate our heroes in the 16th Mini Mapping Contest Results.
    Dismiss Notice
  5. From the gates of hell, the 5th Special Effect Contest Results have emerged.
    Dismiss Notice
  6. Race against the odds and Reforge, Don't Refund. The 14th Techtree Contest has begun!
    Dismiss Notice
  7. Check out the Staff job openings thread.
    Dismiss Notice
Dismiss Notice
60,000 passwords have been reset on July 8, 2019. If you cannot login, read this.

Short Story Contest #3 - Heirloom

Discussion in 'Contest Archive' started by SilverEx, Jan 12, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Crazy Cow

    Crazy Cow

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2009
    Messages:
    760
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    Having something to be purposely confusing is probably a bad idea. People in general don't like getting confused, including me.

    Part 5

    Bound and guarded by three warriors, Honicora received plenty of dirty looks and whispers from the other tauren nearby. Chieftain Bloodhoof had ignored her excuse, and was only concerned that Honicora had shed the blood of a fellow Tauren. To make matters worse, two centaur had slipped into the camp while Honicora was stumbling in the dark, and had killed five Tauren and a Kodo before warriors had arrived to fight them, one of which was killed as well. On a more pleasant note, the coast was only a day’s march away, but Honicora was hardly cheered by the news.
    That night, she was unbound for just a minute to eat a quick meal. Sleeping in the middle of the caravan, she was hardly given an opportunity to escape. Fear over what would take place as her punishment, Honicora decided to slip away anyway. She didn’t have any of her possessions, but she knew what Kodo they were on, and so she sat and waited. After several hours, towards the end of the second night watch, she quietly got up and walked over to the Kodo with her possessions, being careful to not step on anything. With her wrists bound, she was only able to fumble the axe out. Bending slowly down to the ground, she placed the axe on the ground and started chipping away at the rope binding her wrists. After cutting herself a few times, the rope gave out. Picking up her axe and a loaf of bread, she turned to the perimeter of the camp. With the half-dozen sentries posted, she would hardly be able to sneak by. Putting her axe away and taking a deep breath, she tore a chunk out of the bread and started running.
    The sentries called out almost immediately, and the camp was almost immediately filled with the calls of frightened Tauren and battle-ready warriors. The sentry nearest to Honicora made an attempt to get her, trying to tackle her with a flying leap. Barely evading the attack with a dive of her own, Honicora came back up and continued running. She quickly ran outside the ring of light surrounding the camp, followed by a group of warriors. Honicora slowed down slightly, confident that she was safe out of the sight of her pursuers, but despite that she continued running.
    After several hours of stumbling over dunes, through scraggy bushes and once on top of a sleeping scorpid, Honicora collapsed of weariness. Barely taking the time to find a spot next to a rock to lie down, she fell asleep.

    I'm nearing the end of the story. Just two more parts and I will be done.
    Now for reviews.

    Reviews

    Momo:
    I highly suggest taking all of your simple sentences and combining them into more complex ones. It gets boring to read a paper that reads like this:
    The day was sunny. The day was warm. It was warm for this season.
    While yours are of a higher quality than that, you get the idea. Take your sentences:

    It was a cold and chilly October morning. There was no sign of the sun. It was snowing heavily and it seemed as if a blizzard was coming. The temperature was uncommon for this month.

    and change them to something like:

    It was a cold and chilly October morning, with no sign of the sun. It was snowing heavily, as if a blizzard was coming, and it was uncommonly cold for this part of the year.

    Whatever:
    I'm afraid that you need to take a grammar class or, like Trax said, study several novels to figure out how to use commas. Other than that, there are a few little places where you need an 'a' to have it make more sense. For example:
    'he would not allow the monster death so painless and calm' needs an 'a' to make more sense, like so:
    'he would not allow the monster a death so painless and calm.'
     
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2010
  2. Momo

    Momo

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2007
    Messages:
    39
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    Thank you for your review CC, I see what you mean. I will do my best to edit them. :)
     
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2010
  3. TwistedImage

    TwistedImage

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Messages:
    549
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    Hey Momo, I'm wondering, since you obviously have a basic grasp of the English language, why don't you put a space after your commas and full stops? >_>
     
  4. whatever

    whatever

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2008
    Messages:
    13
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    Trax. you are truly substantiating your holy-ness! :pal: I shall bow down to you some more! (bow) :grin:
    But seriously - thanks, it's a great idea, we never really covered commas in school and... you see the results. :con:

    Crazy Cow, thanks for pointing that out, I constantly have such trouble while writing, I type something wrong and if I sense it at all I just stare at it and wonder "What the hell is not right here?", that way I mistyped a couple of "could"s with "cloud"s and just couldn't figure out why it didn't feel right. :alol:
     
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2010
  5. Adiktuz

    Adiktuz

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2008
    Messages:
    9,674
    Resources:
    23
    Models:
    2
    Packs:
    1
    Maps:
    1
    Spells:
    16
    Tutorials:
    1
    JASS:
    2
    Resources:
    23
    aw... haven't made the story... T_T... Good luck to all of you!
     
  6. Traxamillion

    Traxamillion

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2007
    Messages:
    1,387
    Resources:
    5
    Models:
    1
    Icons:
    3
    Tutorials:
    1
    Resources:
    5
    It doesn't matter, hes just the host. If need be Pyritie will step in and carry out his duties.
     
  7. Ghoulrush

    Ghoulrush

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2008
    Messages:
    132
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    Too bad we haven't been able to see who the judges are yet :sad:.
     
  8. Gath_Stormer

    Gath_Stormer

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2007
    Messages:
    1,748
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    Yes it would be nice to know if I could be a judge :O :D!
     
  9. Coolty44

    Coolty44

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2008
    Messages:
    576
    Resources:
    1
    Spells:
    1
    Resources:
    1
    I'm editing this soon to include my story, just putting in some final touchs and working out the beggining.

    EDIT: Storyline hole. Fail. Posting tommorow.

    EDIT2: I guess I throw in the fist 3 paragraphs, they're pretty stable.

    Story
    Many years ago, a great kingdom fell, and with it a great kingdom of evil rose. Many of the great hero’s fell, but some were able to survive. Some were able to fight back, and legends were born. Out of all the ash’s, though, an even greater legend rose. This is his traumatic story. This is the legend of Sir Aldrin Lorthis.

    Within the first weeks of the scourges arrive in Lordaeron, many towns were called to arms, and many towns answered those calls, but some were rather hesitant. In a small Elvin/human town on the border of Quel’Thalas, the people were in an uproar, with the Elves wanting to retreat to Quel’Thalas, and the Humans wanting to go to arms. Many of the people grew tired of the arguments, and it was decided that nobody was leaving to fight, nor was anyone retreating. This would prove almost fatal.

    In this small, doomed town there laid a legendary artifact. Nobody knew its location, but many were certain it was real, and many people believed that it was. It was a great secret, and great deals of people had tried to find it, with no success. With the recent attacks from the scourge, however, the townsfolk were crazy as ever, as the artifact was rumored to be a legendary blade stained with years of demonic blood, and give unnatural powers to the person wielding it.


    Its about 250 words here.
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2010
  10. TwistedImage

    TwistedImage

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Messages:
    549
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    "Many of the great hero's fell"

    I refuse to read further. If you don't know how to differentiate between possessive and plural you don't write a story, full stop.
     
  11. Coolty44

    Coolty44

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2008
    Messages:
    576
    Resources:
    1
    Spells:
    1
    Resources:
    1
    Becuase thats constructive, Mr. English teacher.

    Aside from that, I don't pay attention to what gets changed auto, so its probably there becuase of auto-corrections, which I'm too lazy to turn off.
     
  12. CaoSong

    CaoSong

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2010
    Messages:
    84
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    Once again being a jerk for no reason. Shame on you. :p
     
  13. idodik

    idodik

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2008
    Messages:
    825
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    That's not true, if the guy can build up his story in a good way I'm sure TwistedImage will make a much more constructive review.
    Right now Coolty44 had a problem in a basic english rule, and that pretty much rules constructive reviews out.
     
  14. TwistedImage

    TwistedImage

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Messages:
    549
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    idodik said it! As you've probably read I've given his story a lot of constructive criticism, after that I switched off and got lazy. :|

    Anyway, if you want constructive, here goes:

    -'s implies belonging, as in "Bob's chair." That means Bob owns a chair, not that there are several Bobs and a chair. Now, -s, -es, -ies and possibly some others which I don't remember at the moment makes your word plural; "chair" is singular whereas "chairs" is plural, same goes for "country" and "countries."

    Lastly, I hate it when people blame the autocorrection for their own mistakes. I've never seen a program that dubs "heroes" to "hero's." Well, it depends on the context, but still. Even my school uses a free program, and said program does not make these mistakes.
     
  15. Pyritie

    Pyritie

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2006
    Messages:
    11,356
    Resources:
    60
    Models:
    30
    Icons:
    9
    Packs:
    3
    Skins:
    12
    Tools:
    1
    Maps:
    1
    Tutorials:
    4
    Resources:
    60
    You might find this helpful: http://apostrophe.me

    Just keep in mind who your target audience is ;P
     
  16. TwistedImage

    TwistedImage

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Messages:
    549
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    But the target audience is (in this case) people from age 10 to age 20+ >_>
     
  17. Coolty44

    Coolty44

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2008
    Messages:
    576
    Resources:
    1
    Spells:
    1
    Resources:
    1
    I have to drop out. My Great Uncle just passed away and I wont be home in time for the deadline
     
  18. Cthulus

    Cthulus

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2009
    Messages:
    583
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    I've been trying different things to fix my full-on post.
    Can someone find out what the problem was? It's not the past font or the margin I had in Word, by the way.
     
  19. Ghoulrush

    Ghoulrush

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2008
    Messages:
    132
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    Here is my rough draft.

    Master of the Scrapheap

    Garrim stood on a raised metal platform, observing the area surrounding him. The sounds of whirling blades and clunky machinery penetrated his ears from all directions. The ground below him was filled with various mechanics and engineers armed with a variety powerful tools. Some carried revolving saws used to cut through metal casings. Some operated larger constructs equipped with blades bearing resemblance those used by goblin shredders. These large machines tore through any metal that was too durable to be affected by a smaller saw.​

    There seemed to be a limitless supply of metal to salvage, for the Spark of Imagination was cluttered with pieces of technology that had been casted aside and forgotten. This unique location, found in Northrend within the halls of the titan city Ulduar, had recently become a prime interest to the gnomish tinkers of Ironforge. The gnomes’ leader, High Tinker Mekkatorque, believed that valuable information could be gained by studying the highly advanced technology found within the Spark. While Garrim was not a gnome, he had been chosen to lead this ambitious reclamation project.​

    Garrim was not in a particularly pleasant mood this afternoon, nor had he been in a pleasant mood for a while. He procured a metal flask from his backpack and took a swig, wiping off any ale which remained on his beard. Although many dwarves sported beards that extended to their chest, Garrim kept his relatively short in order to prevent it from getting caught in any machinery. After he tucked his flask back into his pack, Garrim examined the scene around him. His mind became disconnected from reality, and he began to forget all about the abundance of details and logistics associated with his operation.​

    Suddenly, a loud boom echoed across the hall, sending Garrim out of his stupor. The loud noise was followed by smaller sounds of the same nature, accompanied by an unsettling screeching noise. All of the responsibilities tied to Garrim’s job quickly returned to his mind. He looked down below the platform to see where this disturbance was coming from, and noticed a large number of mechanics hurrying towards one of the heavy mechanical saws. Fearing the saw may have struck a fuel tank hidden within the large scrap piece, Garrim descended the ladder which provided access to the ground from his tall platform.​

    As Garrim neared the source of the commotion, he noticed a plume of smoke emitting from the mechanical saw. Although the device had been surrounded by engineers trying to solve the problem, Garrim could easily see over the heads of the shorter gnomes. He quickly understood the situation, and told the mechanics to make room for him. Fearing anger from their boss, the engineers instantly stood aside to let him pass. Garrim stood in front of the scrap piece, breathing a heavy sigh.​

    The mechanical saw had cut straight into the scrap piece, digging deep into its inner workings. The ground was littered with shiny pieces of metal which had been torn straight out of the large rusted cylinder. Garrim silently assessed the damage which had been caused by this mechanical failure as the mechanics stood around him, waiting for his response. ​

    “The inner workings of the device that you were cutting into have been severely damaged, just cut the whole thing up and reprocess the metal. And send the saw back to the camp for repairs,” Garrim said to the crewmen around him. The crowd which had stood behind him immediately dispersed, as the various mechanics returned to their duties. A functioning mechanical saw was brought in to tear apart the ruined cylinder.​

    Garrim looked once more at the wreckage and then departed from the scene as work around him resumed. Had it been months ago, he would have written a report on the incident to be included in his notes. When the reclamation project had just begun, Garrim would routinely update a detailed log with information about items reclaimed each day, items to be reclaimed in the near future, the condition of tools and machinery, and much else. However, that was all in the past. These days his notes were much simpler, and only contained the amount of data that was immediately necessary. To Garrim, the incident which had just occurred was just a minor setback amongst many others.​

    Before heading to Northrend, Garrim was a much different person. He was born to a lineage of notable Dwarven engineers, extending back to the period when Ironforge was devoid of most gnomes. Living in the dwarven city of Ironforge, Garrim had become a talented engineer himself. The entire reclamation project itself could be attributed to him, for it was he who presented the idea to High Tinker Mekkatorque. Garrim had received a package overseas from his cousin Modi, who was at the time located in Ulduar as a member of the dwarven Explorer’s League. Included within the package was a letter written by Modi, which contained extravagant details related to the Spark of Invention. Modi spoke of colossal robots, floating trams, brutally effective weaponry, and machines that were too strange to even make sense out of. The letters were accompanied by a strange power cell which Modi had found lying next to a destroyed clockwork robot. Garrim immediately showed the letter and the power cell to Mekkatorque, who was amazed by both items. ​

    Upon further investigation, Mekkatorque learned that power cell contained chemicals like nothing he had ever seen. He knew that an attempt must be made to harness the power of this advanced technology. Garrim was ecstatic once he learned that he would be made in charge of the reclamation project. He hoped that through his efforts Ironforge would be turned into a technological superpower. Months upon months of zero progress had since destroyed those hopes.​

    After resolving the malfunctioning saw incident, Garrim began to walk towards the research hub. The research hub was the location in which salvaged parts and metals were sent to be analyzed by engineers. Every couple of days, Garrim would leave his post at the platform, assigning it to a temporary foreman, and head over to the research hub for a status report. He had grown to resent doing this, as it forced him to confront the project’s failures firsthand. ​

    While Garrim was heading to the research hub, a panicked dwarf ran up to him. “Boss, we’ve got a problem. The scrap piece I was cutting into sprung a leak; I have no idea how to fix it!”​

    Garrim told the dwarf to calm down and show him the problem. After being lead to the location of the scrap piece, he immediately saw the problem. The scrap piece was a box that was connected to a larger cylinder through several pipes. The box had been operated on by a handheld saw, and a strange liquid was lightly spraying out of the cut mark. Garrim feared that a fuel tank may have been punctured within the box, and told the mechanics in the area to stop working. All fuel found within the Spark of Imagination was extremely flammable, and the crew had experienced multiple deaths at the hands of accidental ignition. Garrim examined the leaking device, and determined that fuel was most likely flowing into the box through the pipes connecting to the cylinder. Taking out his wrench, Garrim began to tighten the pipes in an attempt to stop the flow.​

    The wrench was not an ordinary tool, for it was crafted entirely out of the rare metal arcanite. The wrench, more specifically an adjustable spanner, was a family heirloom which had been passed down to Garrim. It was a symbol of his lineage’s prowess for engineering. The wrench was crafted entirely out of the rare metal arcanite, and had been inscribed with a runic glyph. It was notably durable, and seemed immune to temperature and degradation. It was named Thanegreim, meaning Grasp of the Kings. Garrim always carried it with him when working, although his respect for the heirloom had begun to diminish.​

    With a loud scratch, the pipe Garrim had been tightening broke loose and began to emit fuel in a large spray. Blasted by the liquid, Garrim pounded on the pipe with his wrench until it bended to a point where the fuel ceased to flow. Drenched with the liquid, Garrim wiped off his face. Looking behind him, he noticed the group of mechanics he had halted was now staring at him.
    “Just… safely drain the fuel out of the device and then start salvaging again. I don’t want anyone working in the area until the all the fuel is drained out,” Garrim said to the crowd. The dwarven crewmember who had originally notified Garrim returned to the device and looked around for a bucket to drain the fuel into. Garrim put Thanegreim back onto his tool belt, and walked back to his sleeping tent in order to grab a dry set of clothing. The other mechanics waited around idly. The gnomes in the crowd formed a loose group and began to talk to one another, while the one dwarven mechanic left them and headed over to assist his fellow crewmember in draining the device.
    Garrim’s father had often attributed his technological prowess to the wrench, claiming that it had the ability to assemble machines that would otherwise fail. Garrim had begun to doubt these claims.
    After changing into dry clothes, Garrim once again made his way towards the research hub. Work was occurring at a normal rate, although the temporary foreman was no doubt just as miserable as Garrim was. Without any further incident, Garrim had finally reached the hub. His disposition somehow sank even lower as he set foot within this overwhelming disaster.​

    The place was a mess, with machinery strewn everywhere imaginable. Garrim had to watch his step, having often crushed fragile pieces of technology under his boots on accident. Most of the “scrap metal” salvaged by the reclamation team was not mere pieces of fragmented metal that one would commonly associate with the word “scrap”. The objects which the reclamation team sought to learn from were often fully functioning devices and machines. The engineers responsible for collecting data from these disassembled objects believed most of them to be engines, clockwork assemblies, and support structures designed as components for larger machines.​

    The reclamation process was very complicated and drawn out, especially for the researchers. Since most of the scrap pieces salvaged by the harvesters were too large and heavy to be transported to the camp whole, they had to be cut up into smaller pieces. The harvesters, fully trained engineers, did their best to preserve the important workings of the devices that they operated on, but the end result was not perfect. Salvaged pieces from specific devices were delivered to the hub in corresponding groups, along with a sketch of the original device drawn by the harvester. These groups were then organized on the grounds of the hub in vague categories that sorted them by the general makeup of the original item. The researchers then tried to take multiple pieces from similar groups and match them together in order to form a complete item. When a device was actually remade in a functioning state, it was only because the researchers managed to find very intact pieces that were large enough to fit together without requiring much insight into the actual designs. Any attempts to reverse engineer these intact pieces proved ineffective.​

    While the research engineers could not decipher much from the remade pieces of advanced technology, they could say one thing for certain: they were effective. Unfortunately they had no way of determining the cause of this effectiveness. A reclaimed engine would generate an amazing amount of power, yet the inner workings remained a mystery. A reclaimed clockwork assembly featured common gears and axels connected to strange components which the engineers had never seen before, and yet they were certain that these were the same assemblies used to power colossal robots and machinery. A reclaimed support structure could stand unbelievable amounts of force without receiving any noticeable damage, and yet the source of this strength could not be traced. The reclamation team would send many of these remade items back to Ironforge to be used in siege tanks, flying machines, and other military technology. However, the researchers always made sure that they did not lose too many of their research samples.​

    Finbus, the head of the research team, approached Garrim as he was examining the work being done in the hub. “Hello sir, are you here for a status report?” Finbus said to him. Even though things were looking grim, the gnome always had a way of acting cheerfully. Garrim had noticed this quality in the gnomes he worked with, although these days some of them had begun to lose their cheerfulness.​

    “Yes, how are things looking right now?” Garrim replied, although he already assumed the answer would not be as cheerful as Finbus.​

    “Well sir, we’re still having some trouble making sense out of the items we’ve remade, although we’ve found a few smaller power cells that we are currently comparing with existing power cells that have been sent to us from Tinker Town,” Finbus said as he began to enter a long chain of facts and details, none of which pointed towards any significant progress. Garrim took particular delight whenever Finbus referred to him as “sir”, for it filled him with a sense of accomplishment against adversity. Ever since King Magni had changed Ironforge’s focus from mining and engineering to archaeology, the number of dwarf engineers had gone down significantly. Few of them remained, and only a handful was as talented as Garrim. He was forced to work hard to gain significant favor in the eyes of High Tinker Mekkatorque, who was just as interested in the well being of his gnomish people as he was interested in that of his tinkers. Garrim suspected that Finbus was reporting directly to Mekkatorque himself.​

    Finbus continued discussing various details surrounding the research hub, pointing out each piece of technology they were currently attempting to remake. He led Garrim to a table where all of the various notes and schematics were placed in a cluttered fashion. Ideas and concepts were constantly being changed as the researchers tried to understand the alien technology they dealt with, and old schematics were buried under piles of updated versions. However, despite this development, the research crew was barely any closer to finding any answers. When Finbus concluded his report, Garrim knew he would need to take new action in order to keep the reclamation project afloat. The research team was failing, and none of this would go over well with Brann. Brann Bronzebeard was the leader of the entire Ulduar exploration expedition, and Garrim was scheduled to meet with him the next day in order to discuss the status of his project.​

    He couldn’t meet with Brann and tell him once again that their project was still useless; doing so would most likely cause its termination. Even though Garrim had grown to resent his duties as the reclamation project’s leader, he just couldn’t stand to think of it being shut down after all the work and hope they had put into it. In order to save the project, he would need to present Brann with evidence of progress. He would need to present him with the prospect of finding a grand working contraption. Garrim knew that this would normally be impossible. All of the devices he was allowed to salvage were mere parts meant to be used in larger designs. The reclamation project was forbidden from examining these larger designs due to objections from Mimiron, the Spark of Invention’s creator.​

    Garrim had often forgotten about Mimiron, because he was for all means absent from his life. Mimiron was a mechanical gnome created by the titans, who gifted him with an incredible intelligence and inclination for invention. Everything salvaged and researched upon by the reclamation team was invented by Mimiron. It was actually wrong to say that the team was “salvaging” anything, for the technology they harvested was not destroyed or wrecked. The “scrap pieces” were actually outdated parts created by Mimiron in the past. It was frustrating that all of the answers to Garrim’s problems lied within a person that was still alive and within the same vicinity as him. However, Mimiron would not give away any of his secrets. He spent all day and night within his workshop, making newer and more powerful designs. He had forbidden the reclamation team from touching any of his machinery outside of a certain area which he had set aside for them, for he did not wish to have his true genius taken away from him. It was amazing that Brann Bronzebeard was able to negotiate a deal with Mimiron at all given his difficult nature. Garrim speculated that Mimiron owed something to Brann, and gave away his outdated parts as payment. ​

    All of the completed contraptions and machines made by Mimiron lied outside of the area allotted to the reclamation project, meaning that it was illegal to reclaim and research them. Still, Garrim needed one of those completed devices, so he would have no choice but to break the laws which had been set. Next morning, he would tell both Brann and Finbus that the harvesting team had found a piece of technology like none they had found before, one that Mimiron must have forgotten to forbid. Secretly, he would order his team to venture outside of the legal work space and disassemble such an item. Garrim contemplated this plan as he walked from the research hub to his tent. However, not too long after he left the hub, he was approached by a group of dwarves that did not carry the tools or equipment issued by the reclamation team.​

    One of the dwarves went up to Garrim and shook his hand. “The name’s Gelman Stoneseeker, pleased to meet ye’.” Garrim politely responded, confused by the dwarves’ presence. The dwarf that had just shaken Garrim’s hand took a couple steps towards the research hub, and observed it. He turned back to Garrim and said, “we’re representatives from a prospecting company located in Dun Morogh, and we would like to discuss buying some of these salvaged pieces of machinery from ye’.”
    Garrim was quite intrigued by this offer, amazed that a company would be interested in buying the useless parts possessed by the reclamation team. Wondering how far he could use their naivety to his advantage, Garrim began discussing this proposed deal. The discussion turned into negotiation, as Garrim realized that he could make an unexpectedly large profit from this. He ultimately accepted the deal, being given a gratuity gift of one thousand gold coins. The dwarves accompanying the negotiator wanted to start picking out pieces of reclaimed machinery immediately, so Garrim lead them to the research hub. After giving them a tour of the hub, Garrim left them to pick out the pieces they wanted. A concerned Finbus confronted Garrim on the subject, to which Garrim explained the new deal which had been made. The dwarves would come once a week to pick out any items they wanted and the reclamation project would receive enough money to fund itself indefinitely.
    Relieved that he no longer had to perform illegal actions in order to maintain the survival of his team, Garrim was excited to tell Brann the good news tomorrow. Although Brann favored research over profits, he would still be happy to learn that there would be no need to shut the reclamation project down. Garrim still wondered if he made the correct decision by choosing not to steal the completed device, but was ultimately satisfied that he would not become a criminal. As all the engineers around him began to stop their work and pack in for the night, Garrim too headed towards his tent for some well deserved sleep. After receiving a report from the temporary foreman, Garrim reached the tent ground. He entered his fabric abode and laid down for some shut eye, falling asleep almost immediately.​

    ***

    Garrim woke up late the next morning, after having the most pleasant sleep he had experienced in months. Confident that this day would be better, he sprung up and prepared to meet with Brann. However, something was wrong. As he was getting ready, he could make out what sounded like people screaming and shouting. Garrim was concerned by this and decided to take out his rifle and pistol, afterward exiting the tent. Fearing that a fuel tank may have ignited, he ran towards the source of the noises. There were no workers in sight, not even in places where work was scheduled to be carried out on that day. Mechanical saws were left abandoned, as if everyone had just vanished. Garrim’s thoughts of confusion turned to fear as he turned around a corner, where on the ground in front of him laid several dead bodies strewn across the floor with no signs of a fuel eruption in sight.​

    Garrim began to run faster than ever, the shouting getting louder than ever. Turning several corners and sprinting down multiple hallways, he finally reached the source of the commotion. Far in front of him stood a mechanical giant attacking a group of dwarves, smashing and pounding with its metallic hands. The dwarves were all armed with rifles, for they were expedition guards called in to deal with this problem. However, the expedition guards were completely outmatched. Their bullets glanced off the mechanical giant, who was easily three times larger than them. Garrim aimed his gun at the giant and fired, but his attack was just as ineffective. Lowering his gun, he tried to think of a way to stop this mechanical monstrosity. He thought of an idea and started running towards the research hub as fast as possible.​

    Back when he was in Ironforge, Garrim once witnessed a gnome giving a presentation on a lightning gun that he had created. The gun was able to overload and disable any piece of technology that wasn’t properly grounded, but could not fire at large distances. Garrim had spent weeks trying to build his own model which would possess a larger range, and even now still remembered the materials used to build a basic version of the gun. The main component of the device was gnomish power cells, and Garrim remembered Finbus talking about using some of them for his research in the hub. If he could assemble a lightning gun then he could overload the hostile robot and stop it from killing anyone else. ​

    As Garrim ran, he began to think more about the mechanical giant itself. It bore no resemblance to any of the other intact robots found in The Spark, which all looked much newer and sleeker than the one currently attacking the guards. The mechanical giant looked completely familiar, for it possessed a look identical to that of the scrap pieces harvested by Garrim’s men. The robot looked like it had been crudely assembled from Mimiron’s outdated parts, which could only mean that… those dwarves were the ones who made it. Garrim’s mind became obsessed with this self-made revelation, but suddenly his attention was caught be something else. The research hub was not abandoned, for there were several goblins searching through the parts.
    There were several goblins, at least ten. They were walking through the research hubs with notes in their hands, trying to find specific parts or modules among the machinery. Garrim stood still and observed them, both shocked and intrigued. One of the goblins looked up and noticed him, alerting his team of the intrusion. Garrim couldn’t decide whether he should run away or still try to retrieve the power cells. Before he could put any real though into it, the goblin pulled out a rifle and aimed it at Garrim. Garrim jumped on to the ground in front of him in order to prevent himself from getting hit. He crouched up from the ground, firing his own rifle at the goblins. However, he had forgotten to reload since reaching the research hub, so no bullet exited the gun. Garrim once again ducked down to avoid enemy fire, having seen that all of the goblins had drawn their rifles. He was taking cover behind a large remade engine, which provided ample protection for him. He decided that he needed to keep moving in order to avoid becoming cornered by the goblins, so after getting up to return fire he sprinted to a different piece of machinery for cover. Luckily for him, there was much remade technology lying within the research hub, some of which being particularly large.​

    As Garrim continued running from one scrap piece to another, constantly returning fire. Some of the shots hit their marks and wounded over even killed a few of the goblins. As Garrim was reloading behind a remade gear assembly box, there was suddenly a loud boom which rung throughout the entire room. Garrim saw a bright flash of light through the corner of his eye and felt as if he had just been hit in gut. He looked around and witnessed a sight which he had seen several times before. One of the bullets shot by the goblins had missed Garrim and flown right into a filled fuel tank, causing a massive inferno. Garrim used this distraction to his advantage and sprinted as far as he could while the goblins where still partly distracted by the explosion. Receiving enemy fire once more, Garrim ducked behind some more large scrap pieces.​

    He wasn’t entirely sure about what his plan would be. Perhaps his goal was to kill the goblins all by himself; however that seemed impossible at first thought. For now he was just shooting, running, and reloading. Garrim crouched up and fired at the goblins, repeating this action several times while hiding behind the same scrap piece. It seemed like every time he looked the fire would grow bigger, causing more explosions as it ignited more fuel tanks. Noticing that the goblins were getting closer to him, Garrim sprinted to another large piece of machinery. He crouched up and fired, noticing that the goblins were beginning to run towards him in order to escape the flames. Confident that he would now have to fight the goblins in close quarter combat, Garrim took out his pistol and cocked it, however, he could not think of what he would do once his pistol was fired. But something else caught his attention, for not too far in front of him laid a bundle of gnomish power cells. A goblin wielding a machete then hopped over the scrap piece which was providing cover for Garrim. Garrim shot the goblin in the head with his pistol, killing him. Another goblin hopped over the scrap piece, also wielding a machete. With no guns to fire, Garrim did the only thing he could think of, he pulled out his wrench and struck the goblin in the head. The full force of Thanegreim’s arcanite body met with the goblin’s skull, partially crushing it. Garrim stood up completely in order to face any more goblins, but only one remained. The rest of the goblins had all been killed in the gunfight or routed by the growing fire. The remaining goblin tried to dodge Garrim’s attacks, but he was quickly overpowered and stricken to death.​

    The entire room was engulfed in flame and smoke, causing Garrim to worry about how he would find a way out. But first he would need to assemble the lightning gun. He grabbed the power cells along with several pieces of scrap metal lying around which would serve as parts. More fuel tanks igniting around him, Garrim worked as fast as he possibly could. After creating a model he was satisfied with, he struggled to find a way out of the inferno which had surrounded him. After much stress, he finally found a way out. Running down the hallways at full speed towards the location where he last witnessed the mechanical giant, Garrim began to think about the goblins’ presence in the research hub. “Venture Co.”, he soon thought, “it must have been the damn Venture Co. behind all of this.” The Venture Company was an extremely malicious goblin corporation which used the power of engineering to further their own personal greed. Garrim soon heard the sounds of shouting once more.
    He found the source of the shouting and found the witnessed the giant once more, still on a killing rampage. Dozens of more guards had been brought in (and dozens more littered the floor), but none of them could bring the monstrosity down. Garrim told them to stand back and prepared to fire the lightning gun, from which a large stream of electricity flew into the robot’s body. Extremely vulnerable to this massive overload, the mechanical giant began to move erratically before finally collapsing. The guards were all relieved to see the conflict finally end. Brann Bronzebeard himself was among them, and gave Garrim a heartfelt commendation. However, Garrim knew that the situation had still not improved. He told Brann that the research hub had been set ablaze and needed to be extinguished immediately. As the expedition guards went to retrieve buckets of water, Garrim contemplated the situation once more. The Venture Company had somehow found a way to assemble a functioning robot from the reclaimed parts. If the dwarves of Ironforge were to stand any chance against them, Garrim too would need to somehow unlock the secrets of the technology. The only way possible would be to obtain the information from Mimiron himself, and yet Garrim had nothing to exchange for it. ​

    However, as Garrim looked down in deep thought, his eyes focused on his tool belt. There, glimmering in the light, was something worth more than any simple trade secret.​

     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2010
  20. Landmine

    Landmine

    Multimedia Manager

    Joined:
    May 20, 2008
    Messages:
    432
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    I will be unable to enter my rough draft before the rough draft deadline. I'll submit it tomorrow at any rate.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.