Listen to a special audio message from Bill Roper to the Hive Workshop community (Bill is a former Vice President of Blizzard Entertainment, Producer, Designer, Musician, Voice Actor) 🔗Click here to hear his message!
A man got a kid with two heads, but he doesn't know it yet. He runs into the hospital, happy and cheerful, and asks the doctor:
"How is my son?"
To which doctor replies:
"He's a real dragon."
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO!11!!1!1!1!
Tourists went to Germany for sightseeing, but they see people falling from buildings everywhere. They ask someone: "Why are all this people falling? What is this?"
-"Hitler is playing Tetris."
A jew, a muslim and a christian were in a plane, flying over the oceans. Suddenly, some trouble caused the plane to crash. Luckily, the plane crashed on a rather unknown Island. The pilot died, but the jew, the muslim and the christ survived, however they were captured by some natives on that island who took them to their chieftain. The chieftain said: "I want you to bring me two round pieces of fruit, if you don't, you will die!" The three guys didn't wait long and ran into the primeval forest under the observation of the natives.
After some time, the christian came back first, he brought a cherry and a strawberry. The chieftain said: "Now I want you to put the fruit into your ass and if you dare to laugh, I will cut your head off your body!" The christian urgently took the strawberry .. put it in there...then the strawberry...and then suddenly he started to freakin' laugh! The chieftain drove crazy, took a saber and cut off the christian's head.
Later the jew arrived with an apple and a plum. The chieftain said: "Now I want you to put the fruit into your ass and if you dare to laugh, I will cut your head off your body!" The jew also didn't wait long ... but before he even came close to his ass with the fruit, he started to laugh out loudly. The chieftain drove crazy again, took a saber and cut off the jew's head.
Now the christian and the jew met in heaven. The jew asked the christian: "Why did you laugh?" The Christian: "It just tickled so much when I tried to put the strawberry in my ass, I couldn't hold back! But why did you laugh?"
The jew: "I was just going to put that fruit in my ass, but then I suddenly saw the muslim coming along with a pineapple and a coconut!"
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”
2. Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson goes on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes,” replies Watson. “And what do you deduce from that?” Watson ponders for a minute. “Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. “Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?” Holmes is silent for a moment. ‘Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”
A jew, a muslim and a christian were in a plane, flying over the oceans. Suddenly, some trouble caused the plane to crash. Luckily, the plane crashed on a rather unknown Island. The pilot died, but the jew, the muslim and the christ survived, however they were captured by some natives on that island who took them to their chieftain. The chieftain said: "I want you to bring me two round pieces of fruit, if you don't, you will die!" The three guys didn't wait long and ran into the primeval forest under the observation of the natives.
After some time, the christian came back first, he brought a cherry and a strawberry. The chieftain said: "Now I want you to put the fruit into your ass and if you dare to laugh, I will cut your head off your body!" The christian urgently took the strawberry .. put it in there...then the strawberry...and then suddenly he started to freakin' laugh! The chieftain drove crazy, took a saber and cut off the christian's head.
Later the jew arrived with an apple and a plum. The chieftain said: "Now I want you to put the fruit into your ass and if you dare to laugh, I will cut your head off your body!" The jew also didn't wait long ... but before he even came close to his ass with the fruit, he started to laugh out loudly. The chieftain drove crazy again, took a saber and cut off the jew's head.
Now the christian and the jew met in heaven. The jew asked the christian: "Why did you laugh?" The Christian: "It just tickled so much when I tried to put the strawberry in my ass, I couldn't hold back! But why did you laugh?"
The jew: "I was just going to put that fruit in my ass, but then I suddenly saw the muslim coming along with a pineapple and a coconut!"
A jew, a muslim and a christian were in a plane, flying over the oceans. Suddenly, some trouble caused the plane to crash. Luckily, the plane crashed on a rather unknown Island. The pilot died, but the jew, the muslim and the christ survived, however they were captured by some natives on that island who took them to their chieftain. The chieftain said: "I want you to bring me two round pieces of fruit, if you don't, you will die!" The three guys didn't wait long and ran into the primeval forest under the observation of the natives.
After some time, the christian came back first, he brought a cherry and a strawberry. The chieftain said: "Now I want you to put the fruit into your ass and if you dare to laugh, I will cut your head off your body!" The christian urgently took the strawberry .. put it in there...then the strawberry...and then suddenly he started to freakin' laugh! The chieftain drove crazy, took a saber and cut off the christian's head.
Later the jew arrived with an apple and a plum. The chieftain said: "Now I want you to put the fruit into your ass and if you dare to laugh, I will cut your head off your body!" The jew also didn't wait long ... but before he even came close to his ass with the fruit, he started to laugh out loudly. The chieftain drove crazy again, took a saber and cut off the jew's head.
Now the christian and the jew met in heaven. The jew asked the christian: "Why did you laugh?" The Christian: "It just tickled so much when I tried to put the strawberry in my ass, I couldn't hold back! But why did you laugh?"
The jew: "I was just going to put that fruit in my ass, but then I suddenly saw the muslim coming along with a pineapple and a coconut!"
LOL, coz he "COMES" LOLLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO once a YEAR LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
heres one!
Johny and Lenny are both jobless
Johny:"Hey , Lenny, its hard to get a job isn't it?".
Lenny:"Uhh.... yeah of course!".
Johny:"I've got work for you lenny!".
Lenny:"What's that!!?? >.<".
Johny:"The job is...".
Lenny:"Yeah, what is it!?!? =_ =".
Johny:"You must find me a job, thats the job!".
Lenny:"OM-WTF".
LOL, coz he "COMES" LOLLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO once a YEAR LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
heres one!
Johny and Lenny are both jobless
Johny:"Hey , Lenny, its hard to get a job isn't it?".
Lenny:"Uhh.... yeah of course!".
Johny:"I've got work for you lenny!".
Lenny:"What's that!!?? >.<".
Johny:"The job is...".
Lenny:"Yeah, what is it!?!? =_ =".
Johny:"You must find me a job, thats the job!".
Lenny:"OM-WTF".
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