How do you deal with toxic people?

[Cherrymage]

As the title asks, how would you face and deal with disrespectful toxic people who you basically can't stand and who won't even respect you? Like arrogant, stubborn and proud jerks and busybodies who got nothing else to do?

In my case, how to deal with toxic siblings that are almost complete jerks? I don't want to see my family scatter and be divided with walls of ice, but I can't help it because they're too annoying and disrespectful. They all want to make me feel like a tiny and useless baby, makes annoying snorts, insults me when they're happy and scolds me whenever they're angry.

They just like to assume I'm only a useless and lazy baby who's addicted to computer games and don't know how to do anything. None of these is true, they are just labelling me and making stupid assumptions of me, wanting to make me feel devalued and useless. My sister is okay - I know sometimes she cares for me, but sometimes is under stress and she is not in a great mood, but still her rudeness I can't stand, but the major problems lies with one of my brothers - X.

Why can't I enjoy a full-functioning family with a normal life and happy family members that are respectful, kind and funny? Why did I instead got a bunch of rude, selfish people who don't respect others' feeling and constantly picking on my nerves?

Exhaustive Walls of Detailed Complaining Text with A Bit of Self-Reflection - Read at Own Risk

My eldest brother T is the least bad of the other three siblings - he do care about me a little, but I feel that he's somewhat of a hypocrite and he does not know how to talk. He was one of the fools to make my family scatter and rot - he gossip bad about other siblings to my mom - but never confront any issues directly in front of his targets with politeness. However, I do share the distaste to the other siblings, but the problem lies with his poor communication skills. He tends to talk bad about me in front of other family members - even if they're family or whatever, I still feel ashamed and insulted to the deepest level.

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My second brother X? Smoking, mocking, insulting, wasting money, lazy, glutinous, irresponsible, inconsiderate etc. But the main reason why I had the idea to write all of this is because of him. I was busy cooking myself an egg in the night, then suddenly Dad went back in front of the gate and sounded the loud horns of his car. Well, I need to care of my food so I can't go out and risk having the only egg being overcooked and wasted!

It took me a while to finally respond to the horns, but then my second brother went crazy and groaned in a harsh, despair voice, "Look, Directive255 played his computer games to the point of insanity and craziness!"

Seriously? I was busy cooking my egg, and I was not a casual gamer in anyway. Most of the time, I read some articles, random stuffs and of course text-roleplaying but rarely gaming! Why did he always have to assume things like that? I done nothing wrong, dude. I was cooking my egg, why won't he understand and view things from my perspective? Do I look like a baby and a crazed gamer to him? Nein! I can take care of myself and I am certainly not a crazy gamer like he once did! What a hypocrite and a mean jerk!

Another thing that happened for today is his hypocritical "concern"
He groaned and complained me didn't sleep in the midnight, but did he know that I slept a lot since the last day of school???
Yes, he did know that I slept for about two sessions - 16 hours total - 8 hours each on the last two days. But I also slept for a lot of time yesterday? I know I was talking truth but he won't listen! He just assumed me to be "mad", "computer-addicted" and "crazy" or whatever! I know my limits and I know myself the best, but he is just that hateful and sounds like control freak! I don't want to waste my time arguing with him, but he just make me mad!

Never mind, as he was busy for work and he finally went to work. Sigh. Why did my family always have to be like that - cold, distant and separated? Why can't I enjoy a full-functioning family with a normal life and happy family members?

Have I done something bad in my past life, and forced to reincarnate together with them?!?!

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My sister is okay, but sometimes she does make me go mad. Everyone does make some small mistakes in their life at least a few times, right? But she seemed to never understand -- most of the time. Don't know how to cook this? "You stupid fool!" Don't know when you're supposed to do that? "Idiot!" I don't understand what have I done and yet most of the time she mocks me like that. Though she did care for me a few times, and most of the time when Mom was away for business, she cooked me quite a few delicious meals. But still, her pride, rudeness and perfectionism annoys me to the hell.

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To a lesser extend, my dad. Most of the time, he's happy and he'll spoil me like a brat. But he's quite a weirdo, and I have some strange love-hate feeling with him.

One time I made a mistake during an open-book test, I didn't bring the textbook. And as a result, my grades dropped significantly and my dad -- who I knew was the one lazy parent who mostly spoils his child and almost never actively care -- suddenly broke into a melt point and screamed at me like I am his worst enemy. It was PE, but all the other more important subjects like Geography, Languages and Math I got quite a good grade. But no! My dad would never accept my defeat in PE, no matter how well I did in the other more important tests!

Another time was he's drunk, sooner after the egg incident with my X brother happened. After X tossed verbal abuses at me and screamed, I was distracted. Upset. Annoyed. And so my egg was overcooked. Great, even more depressed.

And yes, although dad was a bit drunken that time, I couldn't help but scream. He kept repeating the same things over and over again, not respecting my private space and feelings, he only cares about himself and his own feelings. I was tolerant at first, but soon got really annoyed by his repetitive nags and I screamed a lot asking him to shut up.

But he didn't listen. He just yelled back at me, deriding me as inobedient, stubborn and disrespectful. He's the real stubborn and disrespectful one! He just kept annoying me by repeating the same shit over and over!

I know he couldn't help himself too when a bit drunken but me too! I know he worked hard for my family, but I just couldn't help it! He's sometime so strange and annoying!

Oh, and when he's elated, he tends to be sticky and uncomfortable. He kept wanting to hug me and kiss me, and also calling me nicknames, something I wasn't really comfortable with.

Even if they manage to change themselves into better people, I would still hesitate to resolve things and make peace because of awkwardness after all these years of hatred and distrust.

Guess the only way is to remain calm within yourself, and seek out distance as far as possible. Just make it so that the family members won't bother with each other's business, no revenge but also no annoyance for both parties. Double win.

 

[Mr. Gameplay Knowledge]

Sorry,i didnt readed the whole thing that u wrote above.
So i just answer the question:
How do you deal with toxic people?
Listen the world is crazy,nowadays is nothing normal.
So there is no normal family,and the fact is that there will be always stressful moments.
There is people that dont like people,or that dont like people that touch their things,if u understand?
So they dont want have something to do with u,or be a part of u,all u can do about it is to live with it ,or just ignore them.

U should look at me when i play League of Legends,if people start flame me in game.I just do "/mute all" doesnt matter who ,or how many people flamed me.

 

[Chaosy]

In real life or over the internet?
Over the internet I mostly ignore the toxic peepz.

In real life:
Why do you think I am a shut in?

 

[Archimmonde]

I'm happy I'm not toxic

 

[Cherrymage]

Sorry,i didnt readed the whole thing that u wrote above.
So i just answer the question:
How do you deal with toxic people?
Listen the world is crazy,nowadays is nothing normal.
So there is no normal family,and the fact is that there will be always stressful moments.
There is people that dont like people,or that dont like people that touch their things,if u understand?
So they dont want have something to do with u,or be a part of u,all u can do about it is to live with it ,or just ignore them.

U should look at me when i play League of Legends,if people start flame me in game.I just do "/mute all" doesnt matter who ,or how many people flamed me.

never mind, just optional reading material for those really curious and interested.

Sadly, life is like that - we have to face all these bad things, but hey, lots of good things outside.
So you mean, we just walk out of the mess and just continue your life?

In real life or over the internet?
Over the internet I mostly ignore the toxic peepz.

In real life:
Why do you think I am a shut in?

Internet, just close the tab.

Real life, I was sort of confused about your question. Or do you mean asking this to toxic people?

I'm happy I'm not toxic

Glad to see someone better

 

[Chaosy]

I pretty much 'asked' why I practice escapism. But it's a rhetorical question.

 

[Cherrymage]

I don't know, just ignore them and have your own life?

 

[Edge45]

If they are like that, then they will be like that, don't worry dude, you're not alone.
You should just continue on, until you can escape that prison-like place, having a house and a family that doesn't give a shit is not a home.
Use that power and of yours, if you think you can fight, then fight, if you want to ignore, then ignore.
A lot of us who stay indoors facing monitors, and also some introverts, have always been looked down and seen as a disappointment, they don't understand that, but we do. It's a cruel world, but also beautiful, surviving physically and mentality matters.

 

[Roland]

I have a great example of a Toxic person right here and his name is ...... @TheLordOfChaos201

To avoid Faggots/Toxic People around you, Stay at home and be an introvert and do something productive. Like making handicrafts or doodling and lastly Warcraft 3 modding!

 

[Mr. Gameplay Knowledge]

never mind, just optional reading material for those really curious and interested.

Sadly, life is like that - we have to face all these bad things, but hey, lots of good things outside.
So you mean, we just walk out of the mess and just continue your life?

Look just at me,i left my familly because they have make me sick.
Now i have a job,my own life and no one that tells me what to do,and now im happy.
So yes,i have think about to just walk out of the mess and just continue the one(there is some theories about the brain,that says that we dont have one life)life u have.

 

[Cherrymage]

First of all, thank you for all your replies and suggestions.

If they are like that, then they will be like that, don't worry dude, you're not alone.
You should just continue on, until you can escape that prison-like place, having a house and a family that doesn't give a shit is not a home.

Yeah, hopefully I hold on for a few more years and earn some money - or just move to my maternal grandma's house if the situation allows.

People say family and house is a shelter and a home, but I don't feel any warmth and safety here. Instead, I feel like the entire house is in poisonous gas. People outside is generally okay and nice to me but most of the time they don't care about me and busy with their own stuffs, they have their own life and relationships. Neither the outside nor inside is home to me, I am uncertain for now... and I am losing faith too.

Use that power and of yours, if you think you can fight, then fight, if you want to ignore, then ignore.

If you mean "physical fight" by "fight" then no, I have a huge body and a giant hand but I feel like as heavy, slow and obsolete as a rusty Tiger Tank. Fortunately, as toxic as my family are, they don't pick up a fight, only verbal abuse but enough to make me crazy and insulted. Should the situation worsen to an emergency, only then I'll fight for my life.

I'll try to hold my feelings, control myself, strive to be a better person and ignore the toxic people.

A lot of us who stay indoors facing monitors, and also some introverts, have always been looked down and seen as a disappointment, they don't understand that, but we do. It's a cruel world, but also beautiful, surviving physically and mentality matters.

They don't understand how our inner world is interesting and we're happy with that. We're having a satisfying, meaningful life of introspection and observation. Also, I am not those typical ones who obsess over money, Facebook and selfies. Many of the same people who look us down are ironically, greedy, selfish and cold-blooded fools - no better than us.

Also, if memory serves, some of the great people such as writers, inventors or philosophers are also introverts. Introverts tend to have an independent mind, and they don't mindlessly follow the crowd and do stupid things. Also, introvert doesn't mean a crazy people staying at home all the time. Introverts/Ambiverts can also go out and socialize with a small group of friends, but they need some time to rest and introspect

We always think. About politics, philosophy, spirituality, arts, history and other things like that. But they don't know that and still look down on us, while they don't know they're busy chasing over money and meaningless materialistic stuffs to the point of exhausting oneself, sacrificing quality time with close ones and taking happiness away from themselves. And some of them stress their children with tons of homework and shit just because they want their children to be a doctor, lawyer, etc. while ignoring one's enjoyment and happiness.

Oblivious hypocrites are everywhere in every corner of this weird world...
Yes, the world is cruel, but sometimes we can find beauty and fascination while exploring and experiencing our life. Like a few kind people, reasonable friends and good listeners. Also, the natural environment - rainbows of flowers, jungles of trees, patches of grass, etc.

I have a great example of a Toxic person right here and his name is ...... @TheLordOfChaos201

To avoid Faggots/Toxic People around you, Stay at home and be an introvert and do something productive. Like making handicrafts or doodling and lastly Warcraft 3 modding!

Unfortunately, some of these toxic people is right in my home
Oh, I have no home either. Only a shelter shared with other meanie...

Gonna buy myself a new house and make it finally a real home

However, you're right about hobbies and stuff. Rather do something actually useful and make people happy instead of dealing with idiots. Guess I can write some random stuffs, and game modding too.

Look just at me,i left my familly because they have make me sick.
Now i have a job,my own life and no one that tells me what to do,and now im happy.

You're made the right choice
I wish you a great new beginning

It's relatable. One day I will break free of the prison and start my own life. Nobody will give a meaningless and mean shit anymore, my will is my own, my life is in my own hands.

So yes,i have think about to just walk out of the mess and just continue the one(there is some theories about the brain,that says that we dont have one life)life u have.

Yes, no need to waste your life and energy dealing with those mess and toxic people
Hope my new beginning will arrive as soon as possible, and also, if I reincarnate into my next life, I don't want to be with them all the time.

 

[WaterKnight]

They say there is a face you show to the public, one you show to your family and one you only reveal to yourself. I know some people are very convincing in their ways, imposing their malicious attitude but we cannot look at their inner ego either. What advantage is there to be in a constant toxic state? I guess it's mostly for saving oneself from embarrassement and to screen off a disparity to one's wishful thinking.

Fate still takes its own course.

My opinion is to be direct, yet fair. I do not want to hurt anyone but be truthful. Vitriol can only be subdued by condonation and one will have to walk their own path. So let's keep one eye at the humans and one eye at the future.

 

[Aniki]

Well if they are really toxic I put on my Hazmat suit and become impenetrable to their toxicity/[stupid] bullshit.

 

[Cherrymage]

My opinion is to be direct, yet fair. I do not want to hurt anyone but be truthful. Vitriol can only be subdued by condonation and one will have to walk their own path. So let's keep one eye at the humans and one eye at the future.

It's one of the best ways to end the mess and let us be free to walk our own ways, but we'll feel awkward after all these years of hate and rivalry

 

[Mr. Gameplay Knowledge]

They say there is a face you show to the public, one you show to your family and one you only reveal to yourself.

Dont forget the face that u show only because of the rules.
Just saying ,no one is 100% honest to admins,even the admins are not 100% honest to admins.
Also,no one is 100% honest to cops,same story like above.
Except!,u have nothing to hide,but who would buy this shet from u,if u understand?

My opinion is to be direct, yet fair. I do not want to hurt anyone but be truthful. Vitriol can only be subdued by condonation and one will have to walk their own path. So let's keep one eye at the humans and one eye at the future.

Just saying,everyone have his own version of truth and fairness.
Everyone thinks that they didnt hurt someone,just because the person have told you that "he/she is okay",and just because they have throw a fake smile at you.
So "Im Okay" is the biggest lie on the world.

In real life or over the internet?
Over the internet I mostly ignore the toxic peepz.

In real life:
Why do you think I am a shut in?

I do ignore them in real life and on the internet.

 

[dreambeliever]

The best way: ignore them.