Hive Poem

[Crayons]

The Hive Workshop
by Jeyu_man

The Hive truly is an awesome place...
Even though it might look like death and desolace...
For when you discover what is hiding in the haze...
You will then realize that you've burned your face...

The Hive is a sanctuary of fun and wonder...
And over there, over there yonder...
Is the awesome Ralle, owner and founder...
Even though his scripting has points to ponder...
But I am in scripting, but a blunder...

And over there, there are the directors and the mods...
They are the kings, they are the gods...
Of your resource, they give noes, they give nods...
Those are their occupation, those are their jobs...

Even though people look mean, and would like you to be cut into bits...
Don't be sad, don't have a fit...
And never ever ragequit...
For when these people you meet...
Of course you will say, l33t!...

 

[Ramza]

Heh, that's pretty good. Deserves some rep.

 

[Devine]

I am yeahyou man

I have no life.
My home is hive.

My brain is the size of a chive
but my heart is bigger than jive.

Stab me with a knife,
I don't deserve to survive.

I don't belong here or anywhere else.
I'm a kid that writes poems on a warcraft 3 site.

Devine; "nobody" (2010)

Just my 2 cents. Hope you enjoy it and find the deeper meaning of my poem.

 

[Ramza]

Aha. xD

 

[Tleno]

I am yeahyou man

I have no life.
My home is hive.

My brain is the size of a chive
but my heart is bigger than jive.

Stab me with a knife,
I don't deserve to survive.

I don't belong here or anywhere else.
I'm a kid that writes poems on a warcraft 3 site.

Devine; "nobody" (2010)

Just my 2 cents. Hope you enjoy it and find the deeper meaning of my poem.

Deeper meaning? Oh yes, I feel the emotional coinceqenciation of mental decepticons of quantum desolation of synoptical synapsis of this masterpiece.

Seriously, this is quite... well its your style, I know. But I liked how you rythmed those last words with Hive.

 

[Devine]

Deeper meaning? Oh yes, I feel the emotional coinceqenciation of mental decepticons of quantum desolation of synoptical synapsis of this masterpiece.

Seriously, this is quite... well its your style, I know. But I liked how you rythmed those last words with Hive.

I thought it was a nice ending. It announces the end by breaking the 'spell' this poem brought on you. The last verses of a poem should be a bit different and a bit more of a summary or something that makes you think about the topic, in my opinion.
I believe I did a good job, sure. But don't call it a masterpiece.

 

[Tleno]

I thought it was a nice ending. It announces the end by breaking the 'spell' this poem brought on you. The last verses of a poem should be a bit different and a bit more of a summary or something that makes you think about the topic, in my opinion.
I believe I did a good job, sure. But don't call it a masterpiece.

I neverunderstand when you're serious and when you're not. Probably never.
Well I was not serious now too.... but yes, I see what you're trying to say by this (You just say what you think), and I see what you said now. Yes, you're right about the ending lines.

 

[Devine]

I neverunderstand when you're serious and when you're not. Probably never.
Well I was not serious now too.... but yes, I see what you're trying to say by this (You just say what you think), and I see what you said now. Yes, you're right about the ending lines.

I'm not sure what you mean. I'm probably never serious?
Also, I'm glad you understand what drove me to creating such an inconvenient ending.

 

[Tamerleine]

Nice poem dude!!
have some rep!

 

[-Grendel]

whoa dude, you're better than Edgar Allan Poe!
great job on the poem, really Hive is an awesome site!

 

[takakenji]

that made me hard

 

[Wazzz]

Devine, I have to hand it to you, you write a fucking good poem.

 

[JetFangInferno]

Pretty good -- some parts the rhythm does not flow as well because there are too many or too little syllables to match the previous line. Also, is Ampharos_222 serious?

 

[Devine]

Pretty good -- some parts the rhythm does not flow as well because there are too many or too little syllables to match the previous line. Also, is Ampharos_222 serious?

He probably is.
About your comment (assuming it's feedback on yeyuman's poem and not mine),
those are rather basic things. I mean, if that were the only thing necessary to write a good poem, just about anyone could do write one.
A poem needs layers of depth and this one doesn't have depth.

 

[Lich Prince]

You're doing it wrong, here:

 

[-Grendel]

Also, is Ampharos_222 serious?