Conquest of Ashenvale

[Moderator]

Next Review: [2016-05-23]

Rufus Moderation Note Note: The main character ran straight through a tree in first scene. This is an easy fix that just makes the cinematic feel sloppy. One Highelf didn't board the ship, but were left on the shore when the others boarded. Why would nightelves have barriers made of cut logs in their base? They protect and love nature. They are not cutting trees down for protection. "I'm sorry, but we have to execute you." Seems a little kind to say between enemies. Also, in the the next moment, you get a choice wether to kill her or not, when Shandris just said that they would execute her. "What if she had parents?" This doesn't feel like night Elves speaking about another adult highelf. And the high Elf wants to send guards to help the night elves when they just invaded them? Why would either of the parties want that? This story doesn't really make sense. You have not changed the "Fleet" mistake that Ardenian pointed out. You have not changed the map creator name either. The terrain is pretty good. In order for this map to get approved you need to improve the story significantly, as it doesn't really believable as it is now. Also, the English needs at least a little improvement as it was (hardly) understandable in its current state, but far from good. Status set to Awaiting Update.

16:05, 6th Apr 2016
Ardenian:
The English is hardly understandable and there are as well many grammatical and also common sense mistakes.
A 'fleet', for example, does not refer to a single boat, but to many many ships.
Please improve the dialogs. They are not acceptable in their current state.

Why were the Highelves able to capture a Nightelves ship ?
They seem to just have it somehow.

Please also add yourself to the map author.

17:04, 7th Apr 2016
Ardenian: The map needs a descripiton.
Please change the points I mentioned and work on them, else the
map is going to be rejected next time.

 

[Chaosy]

http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/miscellaneous-tutorials-456/map-thread-guide-271816/
http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/miscellaneous-tutorials-456/map-description-templates-171659/

http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/rules-information-710/map-submission-rules-228244/

Submitted Map Resources need to have a good detailed description on the Hive. It must include a thorough explanation of the gameplay and a credits list. We recommend that you also include a features list, screenshots and a changelog.
A map description that only contains "Hope you like it, my first map" or "power core v3 new updates, see loadingscreen good map" will be rejected.
Suggested Links: BBcode list - Map Description Generator (No BBcode skills required)
[Update] -Kobas-'s user templates are no longer a recommended option to improve your description - Most users cannot properly edit the template and end up making a description that just doesn't fulfill its ultimate purpose -> Being quick to check out and learn something about the map's gameplay

Other than that, I have major issues with the idea itself. First of, mega lame name of the main character. Eibildan, really?
Secondly, why would the son of the betrayer protect a random village?

I really like the interaction, aka the ability to impact the cinematic by making choices.
Though, it seems like it's a one-time thing and not something that stretch through the whole cinematic.

 

[AditTechno]

Rep.

Thanks for your concern. By the way, he is born when Illidan is night elf. The name, is worth for an idea you know. And that village is his home.

 

[bear_369]

Fix the Terrain and Gameplay screenshots, they were broken.
You can add the screenshots by using this BBCode,

Fix the BBCodes.
Also, remove the "Hiveworkshop Introduction" video.

 

[AditTechno]

Rep

Can i use a screenshot from my directory? Not from a link? What does this link refer to? Google images or directory?

 

[bear_369]

Can i use a screenshot from my directory? Not from a link? What does this link refer to? Google images or directory?

The link what I mean is the URL of the Web browser.
Google Images or Hive Albums (Public) both works if they aren't set to private.
Example, if you want to add a screenshot of this. (http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/members/234345-albums7680-picture89976.html)
Then set the BBCode like this, http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/members/234345-albums7680-picture89976.html[/IMG*][/B]
which you only need to copy-paste the URL of that screenshot.

 

[AditTechno]

Rep.

I've already added it. Thanks for the info.

 

[Sunreaver]

i can't view the story It still show the same land over and over. Hope u fix it soon.

 

[Arad MNK]

You can add a sky.

 

[Ardenian]

You might want to change the map's preview picture, it shows still the one from the template, with the template's name

 

[AditTechno]

Rep

Well, how do i change the picture?

 

[Ardenian]

Well, how do i change the picture?

http://world-editor-tutorials.thehelper.net/minimap.php
or also
http://www.wc3c.net/showthread.php?t=83836

 

[Zunariel]

I like it, it is probably one of your earliest ideas and executions and I think everyone needs some thumps up to know that he is on the right path. Maybe I will play it some day.

It looks cool, the screenshots look good, the terrain looks really good, I love Cenarius, soo.... 3/5 (first impression, will change the rating depending on my playtest)

 

[AditTechno]

Rep

I didn't make the terrain. I used Forsaken's terrain.

 

[AditTechno]

It's taking long waiting for approval. But need to wait.

 

[Ardenian]

You state you have to pause it once it is half done.
This means it is not finished ? The map section, after the map submission rules,
is for finished maps. This does not mean they only have to be playable.

After the map submission rules, full credits have to be added to the map description.
If your Also thank to features such, please add it here.

Please also add yourself to the author ( Forsaken, AditTechno) and add a player count recommendation.

 

[AditTechno]

It's already finished! I state that when I'm still on progress!

EDIT : It's updated. Anyway, player count is not needed. This is a Cinematic.

 

[AditTechno]

I don't know why but the description is gone!

 

[Ardenian]

I don't know why but the description is gone!

After what I can see in the map's log,
you removed it yourself, probably by accident.

 

[AditTechno]

I've updated it. I think this time will be better. I know English but not much.

 

[Ardenian]

I've updated it. I think this time will be better. I know English but not much.

You are not forced to improve it by yourself.
You could work together with someone to improve it, for example you could
post a thread in the Project Recruitment section.

 

[Mgeterno11]

This map is really nice and I had a lot of fun. The terrain is also well-done, it had enough doodads to be a good cinematic.
The units and the models were also nice.

However, I think you should add an Ashenvale sky to your map, it will make your cinematic even more spectacular. To the cinematic trigger you should make an action:
[trigger=Sky]Sky
Actions
Environment - Set sky to Ashenvale sky
[/trigger]


And at the fourth or fifth dialoge you forgot an s after the '. And would you fix the fleet to a ship?

So it is a really well-made cinematic, the destription looks neat, too.
I rate this map 5/5.

 

[AditTechno]

I have changed from 'fleet' to 'ship' before. And i will check on the one you point.

EDIT : My patch is old. I cannot update the Warcraft III with the patch because of a registry key error. I don't have Ashenvale Sky, so i used Generic Sky instead.

 

[Mgeterno11]

Yes, Generic sky will be fine, too.

 

[Rufus]

Did you read my review? I need an answer to it if you want to keep the map in this section.

 

[AditTechno]

Well, man. It's not a part of a cinematic. It's the full one.

 

[Rufus]

My apoligies.
I thought there was another map you had made with the same name and part two or something. I must have seen wrong.

I will check this out soon.

 

[Heaven Editor]

I haven't play this map yet. Is this like The Walking Dead game. I really love that. <3

 

[AditTechno]

I haven't play this map yet. Is this like The Walking Dead game. I really love that. <3

This is a cinematic.

 

[Rufus]

Next Review: [2016-05-23]

Rufus Moderation Note Note: The main character ran straight through a tree in first scene. This is an easy fix that just makes the cinematic feel sloppy. One Highelf didn't board the ship, but were left on the shore when the others boarded. Why would nightelves have barriers made of cut logs in their base? They protect and love nature. They are not cutting trees down for protection. "I'm sorry, but we have to execute you." Seems a little kind to say between enemies. Also, in the the next moment, you get a choice wether to kill her or not, when Shandris just said that they would execute her. "What if she had parents?" This doesn't feel like night Elves speaking about another adult highelf. And the high Elf wants to send guards to help the night elves when they just invaded them? Why would either of the parties want that? This story doesn't really make sense. You have not changed the "Fleet" mistake that Ardenian pointed out. You have not changed the map creator name either. The terrain is pretty good. In order for this map to get approved you need to improve the story significantly, as it doesn't really believable as it is now. Also, the English needs at least a little improvement as it was (hardly) understandable in its current state, but far from good. Status set to Awaiting Update.

 

[AditTechno]

Cut logs?

You should ask Forsaken. He's the creator of this terrain. That's just a Pier.

 

[Rufus]

There is a barrier made of top-cut logs. THhe main character stands between them in the middle of the cinematic. However, this is not a large issue.

 

[AditTechno]

There is a barrier made of top-cut logs. THhe main character stands between them in the middle of the cinematic. However, this is not a large issue.

Oh, that. I know it.

 

[deepstrasz]

-Sillydan talks to himself out loud?
-they needed a night elf ship and suddenly one came!?
-Shandris was talking to the other elf ranger with her back towards her and in stealth
-the cinematic can't be skipped, not even the end

1/5. Brainwashing nonsense.

 

[StoPCampinGn00b]

I... I'm unimpressed with this cinematic. The only significant positive for me is the beautiful scenery, which is of Forsaken's template.

The story in my opinion is abysmal. Its pacing is extremely slow, and I can't see how the plot is able to be entertaining. I didn't know if it was supposed to make me laugh, be in awe, feel for the characters emotionally or anything. The story isn't even really cliche'd, it's just as if it's a test map to learn how to create camera angles in order. The high points and action scenes are just auto attacks and one boring spell. The ending was... I didn't understand the ending.
We don't know why the high elves are here, what setting we're in, what the main character being Illidan's son's significance is, etc.

The approved cinematics on Hive have a direction, whether it's aimed at comedy, story telling, or just to be amazed. Some can be corny and such, but they do have direction. I feel that this cinematic is lacking direction because I don't know what I'm looking for that already exists in the cinematic to be entertained.

Sorry if I sounded harsh, but I was as honest as possible :3
I'd like @Rufus second opinion on this because I see this map as substandard but it was initially set to awaiting update.

 

[Rufus]

I agree.
Since there was only rejected or approved before, and this map fitted neither, I think the right place for this map is substandard.