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Conquest of Ashenvale

This bundle is marked as useful / simple. Simplicity is bliss, low effort and/or may contain minor bugs.
User who uploaded this Presents

Conquest of Ashenvale
Created by AditTechno

Map Info


This cinematic shows the story of a Night Elf named Eibildan. He is a warrior that is proud of his home. He has many problems. Including, having assaults, and others. His life never walks on without problems. This time, the invasion will be real. Will he save the village?

Features


The feature is not more than 1. Characters featuring:
Eibildan - Main Character
Prophet - Visionary
Statue of Cenarius - What should i tell?
Alluris - Runner
Shandris - Lead Security
Shadin - Intruder (She gets the ship from the other side)
Naisha - Security
Illidan - Don't mention him.

  • Impactable Story

You can choose from the dialogs i've created. You can give a test on them. They are Execute and Free. You can choose one of them.

Some other stuff about map


This cinematic is not split in parts! All the choices will be the other chapter of it but, it's not parts of a cinematic!

Screenshots




Image Description:
Choosing

251041-albums8734-picture106363.jpg

Image Description:
Attacking the Intruders

251041-albums8734-picture106362.jpg


Change Log





Fixed:
  • Gramatical errors

Added:
  • Generic Sky

Fixed:
  • A bug
Changed:
  • The story

[/hidden]
Credits


Author:
  • Forsaken(Map Creator)
  • AditTechno

Models:
  • Daelin
  • Olofmoleman
  • Chriz
  • xXm0rpH3usXx
  • Celestea
  • Nasrudin
  • aquilla
  • Mc !
  • Illidan
  • reinless
  • oBs3rv3r
  • sc_freak
  • abriko
  • JetFangInferno
  • iNfraNe
  • WhiteHorn
  • Red XIII
  • HappyTauren
  • Herio-san
  • Illidan(Evil)X
  • Born2Modificate


Author's notes


I'm not good at English anyway. I don't know where the gramatical errors be. So, i believe i have fixed them.
Map Description Template Created by -Kobas-
Find more here: Map Description - Templates

Keywords:
Cinematic, Conquest, Ashenvale
Contents

Conquest of Ashenvale (Map)

Reviews
Next Review: [2016-05-23] Rufus Moderation Note Note: The main character ran straight through a tree in first scene. This is an easy fix that just makes the cinematic feel sloppy. One Highelf didn't board the ship, but were left on the shore when...

Moderator

M

Moderator

Next Review: [2016-05-23]
Rufus Moderation Note

storywritingart.gif
Note:
The main character ran straight through a tree in first scene. This is an easy fix that just makes the cinematic feel sloppy.
One Highelf didn't board the ship, but were left on the shore when the others boarded.
Why would nightelves have barriers made of cut logs in their base? They protect and love nature. They are not cutting trees down for protection.

"I'm sorry, but we have to execute you." Seems a little kind to say between enemies. Also, in the the next moment, you get a choice wether to kill her or not, when Shandris just said that they would execute her.
"What if she had parents?" This doesn't feel like night Elves speaking about another adult highelf.
And the high Elf wants to send guards to help the night elves when they just invaded them? Why would either of the parties want that?
This story doesn't really make sense.

You have not changed the "Fleet" mistake that Ardenian pointed out.
You have not changed the map creator name either.

The terrain is pretty good.

In order for this map to get approved you need to improve the story significantly, as it doesn't really believable as it is now. Also, the English needs at least a little improvement as it was (hardly) understandable in its current state, but far from good.

Status set to Awaiting Update.

16:05, 6th Apr 2016
Ardenian:
The English is hardly understandable and there are as well many grammatical and also common sense mistakes.
A 'fleet', for example, does not refer to a single boat, but to many many ships.
Please improve the dialogs. They are not acceptable in their current state.

Why were the Highelves able to capture a Nightelves ship ?
They seem to just have it somehow.

Please also add yourself to the map author.

17:04, 7th Apr 2016
Ardenian: The map needs a descripiton.
Please change the points I mentioned and work on them, else the
map is going to be rejected next time.
 

Chaosy

Tutorial Reviewer
Level 40
Joined
Jun 9, 2011
Messages
13,198
http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/miscellaneous-tutorials-456/map-thread-guide-271816/
http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/miscellaneous-tutorials-456/map-description-templates-171659/

http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/rules-information-710/map-submission-rules-228244/
Submitted Map Resources need to have a good detailed description on the Hive. It must include a thorough explanation of the gameplay and a credits list. We recommend that you also include a features list, screenshots and a changelog.
A map description that only contains "Hope you like it, my first map" or "power core v3 new updates, see loadingscreen good map" will be rejected.
Suggested Links: BBcode list - Map Description Generator (No BBcode skills required)
[Update] -Kobas-'s user templates are no longer a recommended option to improve your description - Most users cannot properly edit the template and end up making a description that just doesn't fulfill its ultimate purpose -> Being quick to check out and learn something about the map's gameplay

Other than that, I have major issues with the idea itself. First of, mega lame name of the main character. Eibildan, really?
Secondly, why would the son of the betrayer protect a random village?

I really like the interaction, aka the ability to impact the cinematic by making choices.
Though, it seems like it's a one-time thing and not something that stretch through the whole cinematic.
 
Level 14
Joined
Nov 30, 2013
Messages
926
Can i use a screenshot from my directory? Not from a link? What does this link refer to? Google images or directory?

The link what I mean is the URL of the Web browser.
Google Images or Hive Albums (Public) both works if they aren't set to private.
Example, if you want to add a screenshot of this. (http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/members/234345-albums7680-picture89976.html)
Then set the BBCode like this, http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/members/234345-albums7680-picture89976.html[/IMG*][/B]
which you only need to copy-paste the URL of that screenshot.
 

Ardenian

A

Ardenian

You might want to change the map's preview picture, it shows still the one from the template, with the template's name
 
Level 10
Joined
May 21, 2006
Messages
323
I like it, it is probably one of your earliest ideas and executions and I think everyone needs some thumps up to know that he is on the right path. Maybe I will play it some day.

It looks cool, the screenshots look good, the terrain looks really good, I love Cenarius, soo.... :D 3/5 (first impression, will change the rating depending on my playtest)
 

Ardenian

A

Ardenian

You state you have to pause it once it is half done.
This means it is not finished ? The map section, after the map submission rules,
is for finished maps. This does not mean they only have to be playable.

After the map submission rules, full credits have to be added to the map description.
If your Also thank to features such, please add it here.

Please also add yourself to the author ( Forsaken, AditTechno) and add a player count recommendation.
 

Ardenian

A

Ardenian

I've updated it. I think this time will be better. I know English but not much.

You are not forced to improve it by yourself.
You could work together with someone to improve it, for example you could
post a thread in the Project Recruitment section.
 
Level 15
Joined
Jan 12, 2011
Messages
1,197
This map is really nice and I had a lot of fun. The terrain is also well-done, it had enough doodads to be a good cinematic.
The units and the models were also nice.

However, I think you should add an Ashenvale sky to your map, it will make your cinematic even more spectacular. To the cinematic trigger you should make an action:
[trigger=Sky]Sky
Actions
Environment - Set sky to Ashenvale sky
[/trigger]


And at the fourth or fifth dialoge you forgot an s after the '. And would you fix the fleet to a ship?

So it is a really well-made cinematic, the destription looks neat, too.
I rate this map 5/5.:thumbs_up:
 
Level 16
Joined
Feb 28, 2016
Messages
684
I have changed from 'fleet' to 'ship' before. And i will check on the one you point.

EDIT : My patch is old. I cannot update the Warcraft III with the patch because of a registry key error. I don't have Ashenvale Sky, so i used Generic Sky instead.
 
Level 26
Joined
Oct 2, 2011
Messages
2,482
Next Review: [2016-05-23]
Rufus Moderation Note

storywritingart.gif
Note:
The main character ran straight through a tree in first scene. This is an easy fix that just makes the cinematic feel sloppy.
One Highelf didn't board the ship, but were left on the shore when the others boarded.
Why would nightelves have barriers made of cut logs in their base? They protect and love nature. They are not cutting trees down for protection.

"I'm sorry, but we have to execute you." Seems a little kind to say between enemies. Also, in the the next moment, you get a choice wether to kill her or not, when Shandris just said that they would execute her.
"What if she had parents?" This doesn't feel like night Elves speaking about another adult highelf.
And the high Elf wants to send guards to help the night elves when they just invaded them? Why would either of the parties want that?
This story doesn't really make sense.

You have not changed the "Fleet" mistake that Ardenian pointed out.
You have not changed the map creator name either.

The terrain is pretty good.

In order for this map to get approved you need to improve the story significantly, as it doesn't really believable as it is now. Also, the English needs at least a little improvement as it was (hardly) understandable in its current state, but far from good.

Status set to Awaiting Update.
 
Level 32
Joined
Apr 2, 2013
Messages
3,954
I... I'm unimpressed with this cinematic. The only significant positive for me is the beautiful scenery, which is of Forsaken's template.

The story in my opinion is abysmal. Its pacing is extremely slow, and I can't see how the plot is able to be entertaining. I didn't know if it was supposed to make me laugh, be in awe, feel for the characters emotionally or anything. The story isn't even really cliche'd, it's just as if it's a test map to learn how to create camera angles in order. The high points and action scenes are just auto attacks and one boring spell. The ending was... I didn't understand the ending.
We don't know why the high elves are here, what setting we're in, what the main character being Illidan's son's significance is, etc.

The approved cinematics on Hive have a direction, whether it's aimed at comedy, story telling, or just to be amazed. Some can be corny and such, but they do have direction. I feel that this cinematic is lacking direction because I don't know what I'm looking for that already exists in the cinematic to be entertained.

Sorry if I sounded harsh, but I was as honest as possible :3
I'd like @Rufus second opinion on this because I see this map as substandard but it was initially set to awaiting update.
 
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