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60,000 passwords have been reset on July 8, 2019. If you cannot login, read this.

Unexpected attack

Submitted by tolist85
This bundle is marked as substandard. It may contain bugs, not perform optimally or otherwise be in violation of the submission rules.
「UNEXPECTED ATTACk」

By Tolist85

Story
[tr]
There is one Human post which have under attacked by Undead Forces, leading by commandor. The goal of commandor is to destroy human post and make new base for Kalimdor. There are Human villager,Human soldiers, Human buildings, Human hero, Undead soldiers, Undead Hero at cinematic.

Screenshots
[tr]
[​IMG] for screenshot[/IMG]
[​IMG][/IMG]

Features
[tr]

The map is not protected.
The cinematic is not long.

Credits
[tr]

Map - Tolist85
Stable - Mike
Wooden Tower - Shadow_killer
Kobas - Map Description Template

Changelog
[tr]
-Only this cinematic.
Map Description Generator 「By Vengeancekael」

Keywords:
unexpected, Attack[/tr][/tr][/tr][/tr][/tr]
Contents

UNEXPECTED ATTACK (Map)

Reviews
Moderator
08:24, 5th Jul 2014 Orcnet: My comment
  1. 08:24, 5th Jul 2014
    Orcnet: My comment
     
  2. JCarrill0

    JCarrill0

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    Can I see some screenshots?
     
  3. Shadow Fury

    Shadow Fury

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    Ah a cinematic after so long time. I am certainly going to see this one (even if the description is really bad and needs some improvement like screenshots)
     
  4. Heinvers

    Heinvers

    Arena Moderator

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    Screenshots please! Anyway I'll watch it now.
    It's a cinematic not an RPG or anything else. Yes, the description is a bit lacking but not absent as so many new maps are!

    Only bad stuff!
    Edit: I won't lie! It was bad!
    ------------------------------------------------------------------
    1. The terrain was just horrible, it's one of the most important aspect of a cinematic. You just ruined it!
    2. You forgot to hide the level gain!
    3. Why wasn't that warlock using magic instead of fists?
    4. The enemy forces just spawned in plain sight. It looked strange.
    5. Lack of storyline!
    6. It was just too fast, no delays or interesting events at all!
    7. The camera was too close to the ground! Huge mistake!
    8. Lack of terrain fog. Black fog does not count!
    9. Bad choice of Loading Screen! Is this a cartoon or something? 0_o
    ------------------------------------------------------------------
    You should consider remaking this cinematic.

    __________________________________________________________________________________________________
    Advices!
    Here's something you could do to improve your map!
    ------------------------------------------------------------------
    1. Hide those leveling arts.
    2. Work on that awful terrain MORE. Why not import some custom models? This is a cinematic, not a melee! Make it a village not an outpost!
    3. Enable a decent terrain fog, I'd say a dark blue-grayish fog would do the job.
    4. Hide the enemy spawn beyond the visible sight.
    5. Ease up on the cinematic speed. It's like a formula 1 right now:/
    5. Make that warlock use some bad-ass spells, it looks awkward seeing him fight with his bare fists! He could be stomped during battle you know.
    6. Make a decent storyline. You need to explain why those demons attack that village!
    7. Zoom out those fucking cameras! Work more on it. I haven't seen not even a swing camera around!
    8. That Loading Screen should be replaced. At first glance it hints towards a parody or something like that, no battle hint in sight!
     
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2014
  5. tolist85

    tolist85

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    Thank you for comments. I will add screenshots. it is true that story is lacking, terrain is not good and cameras but i dont think so for loadscreen. I think it is normal and good loading screen.
     
  6. Shadow Fury

    Shadow Fury

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    This cinematic is very deluding. Here is why:-

    BAD POINTS:-
    - There are too many dialog mistakes. For example, Commandor is wrong. The right spelling is Commander. There was also a funny spelling mistake which is “I'm here Paladin. Come and meat me if you can do.” It should be “meet” instead of “meat”. And I also found the dialog childish. I never imagined that a Palading could say “Ok man” and that the Commander (Kil’jaeden) would say “I'm sad Paladin.Hahaha! It is time to destroy you.” This is not a professional dialog to me (excluding the rest)
    - Speaking again about the dialog, it was far too rapid. Some speeches only lasted half a second or less and I couldn’t read everything
    - I don’t see any fog which is essential in any cinematic
    - You’ve done the terrain in a weird way. The way you raised and lowered the terrain is strange. It looks unnatural. Then the tile variation isn’t even used well also and I couldn’t see decorative doodads
    - It’s really bad that when the Commander says “More soldier” (mistake in dialog here too, it should be “More soldiers”), I can see them spawning from nothing. From where did those soldiers come? From the void or what?
    - The loading screen is really unsuitable. Putting a cartoonish loading screen probably made in Paint is unprofessional and looks also terrible
    - The camera usage wasn’t adequate. It was too near to the ground so I couldn’t see the entire battle between the human forces and undead forces


    SUGGESTIONS:-
    - Apply a fog to your cinematic from Scenario --> Map Options --> Use Terrain Fog (tick it first) ---> Set the Z Start to 0 to apply the fog from the ground and then you choose a suitable Z End (I usually do from 4000-10000 to avoid a thick fog). Select a good colour like white/green/yellow and you are done with the fog
    - Find someone who can correct the dialog to you and make it more professional. If you wish, I can do that for you
    - Improve your terrain. It’s a village, so those unnatural raisings and lowerings are really unfitting. I’d recommend slight raisings and lowerings and to avoid using too much the Rock tile. Use the Dirt tile which I didn’see all in your terrain instead of spamming Rough Dirt. You may then use Rough Dirt on the Dirt tile but don’t spam it! Same thing goes for the Grass and Dark Grass. Apply the Grass and then some Dark Grass on it. That should give a decent result if you do it well. Oh, and use some shurbs,flowers… and all those environmental decorative doodads.
    - Try to apply your cameras at a greater height to be able to watch the battle
    - Those undead soldiers must NOT spawn from nothing in front of the watcher. Let them spawn before the camera goes in the spawning place


    OVERALL RESULT:-
    Finally, I find this cinematic pretty bad and boring. I will give it 1/5 and vote for REJECTION
     
  7. Heinvers

    Heinvers

    Arena Moderator

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    Speaking of that, it's good that you mentioned the dialogue mistakes SF. I forgot about that.
     
  8. tolist85

    tolist85

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    Thank for comments again. I have idead about new cinematic map. I do my best cinematic map for you but i dont understand for loading screen. I think it is not problem.:D
     
  9. Shadow Fury

    Shadow Fury

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    It's not a good idea to use cartoonish loading screens because they look too bad compared with 3D or 4D loading screens.
     
  10. Orcnet

    Orcnet

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    The Cinematic is too straight forward, human forces getting destroyed in seconds by an Eredar and undead units, what came a little unusual for this map is the loading screen which looks a little out of place, then the scripting of each dialogue sounds like a chatroom of players trash talking.

    The Music is exploding per each scene, that's not a good way of releasing sound for a cinematic especially when you use 5 types and quickly change pace of the music.

    Terrain is too tight very monotone looking you could atleast made a more decent barracks like scenery, lastly the movement of the camera is very stiff and fast-too fast. For now it would be better if you can practice more.
     
  11. tolist85

    tolist85

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    i dont understand why rejecting.