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60,000 passwords have been reset on July 8, 2019. If you cannot login, read this.

UNEXPECTED ATTACK(Remake)

Submitted by tolist85
This bundle is marked as approved. It works and satisfies the submission rules.
「UNEXPECTED ATTACK(REMAKED)」

By Tolist85

Story
[tr]
There is one Human post which have under attacked by Undead Forces, leading by commandor. The goal of commandor is to destroy human post and make new base for Kalimdor. There are Human villager,Human soldiers, Human buildings, Human hero, Undead soldiers, Undead Hero at cinematic.

Screenshots
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[​IMG] for screenshot[/IMG]
[​IMG]
[​IMG]
[​IMG]
[​IMG]

Features
[tr]

The map is not protected.
The cinematic is not long.

Credits
[tr]

Map - Tolist85
Stable - Mike
Wooden Tower - Shadow_killer
Kobas - Map Description Template

Changelog
[tr]
-Only this cinematic.
Map Description Generator 「By Vengeancekael」

Keywords:
Unexpected, Attack[/tr][/tr][/tr]
[/tr][/tr]
Contents

UNEXPECTED ATTACK(Remake) (Map)

Reviews
Moderator
10:18, 25th Aug 2014 Orcnet: "] I'm not really sure on how to rate this, but since the scenery is fast paced but fixated on a decent scale it somehow worth watching, the grammar though is kinda funny when reading each character from the...
  1. 10:18, 25th Aug 2014
    Orcnet:

    [img]http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/members/194715-albums6441-picture75028.png[/img]


    I'm not really sure on how to rate this, but since the scenery is fast paced but fixated on a decent scale it somehow worth watching, the grammar though is kinda funny when reading each character from the cinematic, its probably based for it. Anyhow can be approved.
     
  2. eubz

    eubz

    Map Reviewer

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    Change remaked to just remake or remade as there is no such word as remaked.
     
  3. lokharke

    lokharke

    Joined:
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    There are many grammar errors and why are the Paladin and Commandor (should be Commander but why not give him a name) talking like buddies? This is hilarious.

    I suggest you use more fitting dialogues. Here are some suggestions
    K= Kill'Jaedan P=Paladin

    k2p: Don't run you coward - Ah! Running like a dog. Then I'll make sure you die like a dog.
    k2p: I am getting angry man - You human dogs are getting on my nerves.
    k2p: You are really powerfull but I'm faster than you.(Laugh) - If u think u are holding your ground, I can easily overpower you.
    p2k: You are talking very much- Shut up and fight! I don't need to listen to you demons. May the holy light be with me.
    k2p: I'm bored and tired. Anyway, this fight will end and I will win.
    [At this time i suggest playing lightning for infernal's arrival.]
    It seems I have ran out of time. Say your prayers human. Time to die.

    I suggest like in between the fight K and P to increase the morale of their armies like the P saying "the light is with us"
     
  4. tolist85

    tolist85

    Joined:
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    I will fix my map but I think dialogues are normal. Maybe I will change dialogues.
     
  5. lokharke

    lokharke

    Joined:
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    I am not saying that map is not good. Map is ok but dialogues need a little work. It seems like the humans and the demons are buddys and are arguing and want to kill each other just to shut each other up. But they are fine just the way they are. I was just giving suggestions. I am not forcing u. Your resource, your right.
     
  6. tolist85

    tolist85

    Joined:
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    Updated.
     
  7. Orcnet

    Orcnet

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2010
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    Map approved.
     
  8. hiphop4eva

    hiphop4eva

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2014
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    I think you dont know english. In the first picture it says lets start my soldiers. You should have said Lets start attacking. And in the second it says this cinematic is end. You should have said This cinematic will end now.
     
  9. deepstrasz

    deepstrasz

    Map Reviewer

    Joined:
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    1/5. Bad to the bone.
     
  10. IcemanBo

    IcemanBo

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2013
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    What can be done better?