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The Way of The Shaman

This bundle is marked as useful / simple. Simplicity is bliss, low effort and/or may contain minor bugs.
This is my first cinematic ive ever made. it started as a cinematic i made for my friend to show him how newbish "powers" at mapmaking, but it elvoled into the best ive ever made (realating to warcraft)
Its now a prosjekt that im determid to finish.

Its about Kargarth. a shaman novice who cant deside which elemental path he shall follow (or deepen in). he travels to Winterspring to search for his inner element.

As ive allready said, this is the very first cinematic ive ever made, so be kind but true on the comments.

Updates:
-Improved Camera
-Intro
-Grammar fix (Might need more, im from norway and im not good in english)

Keywords:
orc, shaman, elemental,
Contents

The Way of The Shaman (Map)

Reviews
23:25, 24th Feb 2009 by bounty hunter2: A cinematic that showed a interesting storyline that could develop into something more. However that is the only positive thing in the cinematic as it has bad terrain, dialog, cameras. 1/5 and Rejected You...

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23:25, 24th Feb 2009 by bounty hunter2:
A cinematic that showed a interesting storyline that could develop into something more. However that is the only positive thing in the cinematic as it has bad terrain, dialog, cameras. 1/5 and Rejected

You can find my full review Here.
 
Level 31
Joined
Jun 27, 2008
Messages
2,557
I think this chinematic is not that clear as it should be. I mean the process and essence of itself supposed to be easier to understand. Chinematic started without into, starting with the main point makes it hard to relise what is it about even if you read the description. Maybe there will be people that won't notice that, but that's my opinion and facts I noticed.

Bad Points:
1. Bad grammar and many misspellings, you should fix that for sure.
2. The cameras that are rolling around the creeps are boring.
3. At the start, two creeps ran nearly to Shaman and Shaman 'casted' some kind of spell and one of creeps has fallen, but another didn't. I understood this as protection spell that kills attackers, but it didn't kill all attackers and it seemed not logical for me. Maybe that's how you wanted, but I didn't understand your point of it.
4.1 First seconds of actual game seemed badly done. Your chinematic started after 0.10 second and it's easy to notice this bad quality when your screen turns into Chinematic Mode. Also wrong set of starting actions.
__________________

4.2 There it is in the part of screenshot:

mistake71fo4.jpg


And here it is how it should be - using initialization like here:

mistake72oz7.jpg

__________________

I rate all this by 2/5 only because it's your first chinematic, cause it deserves 1/5, fix everything I told and my rating will increase.
 
Level 5
Joined
Jul 25, 2008
Messages
126
I also just recently uploaded my first cinematic was well, I thought it was pretty decent, a few grammar misspells drove me off a bit.

Maybe perhaps when the meteors/ice shards come closing in you can switch camera to a more in depth view of the units and watch the shards reign upon them.

How ever I don't see this really as a episode or whatever more of an intro leading into something. (2.5/5) for me
 
Level 18
Joined
Sep 27, 2005
Messages
2,069
Here is my rating and comment: I didn't expect much of this but it surprised me only a bit.

Rating system

Altered Melee:
1 - 10 points go on originality
1 - 10 points go on terrain
1 - 10 points go on bug free
1 - 10 points go on gameplay/fun factor
1 - 10 points go on lag
1 - 10 points go on balance
1 - 10 points go on drops
1 - 10 points go on Object editor work
1 - 10 points go on proper submission and crediting
1 - 10 points go on scripting
1 - 10 points go on camera work
1 - 10 points go on music and or voice acting
1 - 10 points go on dialog
-------------------------------------------------
Percent Grade Status


0 - 34%
1/5 Rejected


35 - 49%
1/5 Reviewed


50 - 64%
2/5 Reviewed


65 - 79%
3/5 Approved


80 - 89%
4/5 Approved


90 - 100%
5/5 Approved

The table may vary if needed.

Points


Originality: 6/10
Not a bad story indeed, you need to work on it, but I like the entire Frost/Fire idea with a shaman in the middle of the story. You should just work on the characters names.

Dialog: 3/10 X
It isn't really Orcish/Ancient dialog, you should really improve it. Check God Rpg it has some great dialog in it.

Bug Free: 7/10
Worked fine, but in the ending don't turn the cinematic mode off, just end the cinematic immidietly.

Terrain: 3/10 X
Pretty messed up and not so good. The cliff looks to unatural, you need to study terraining and improve it a lot.

Scripting: 5/10
Worked fine, however not so good fade filters and the ending.

Fun Factor: 5/10
It wasn't boring I must say, but it wasn't special. It lacked action scenes to make it better, and good ones to be precise. But the story itself makes it interesting.

Lag: 9/10
Decent enough loading time, no lag.

Music and or Voice Acting: 5/10
You used normal warcraft sounds, you fit them in mostly good, but you need custom music and voice acting.

Proper submission and crediting: 1/10 X
Credit the creator of the frost element lord and more images and info.

Conclusion

24eyv87.gif
15phlph.gif
15phlph.gif
15phlph.gif
15phlph.gif


In overall: 44 / 100
44%
minimal not 50% met.
For the hive grade: 1/5 I suggest this map for: Rejection
-------------------------------------------------
In overall it is a cinematic with poetential that isn't used. It needs:

- Good terrain
- Good music
- Good dialog
- Action scenes

Try to look at some great cinematics and improve your skills:
Good Luck, bounty hunter2
I might not be checking this topic for some time. If you have any questions about the review or you update the map and want me to check it again, feel free to PM me or Visitor message me at any time.
 
Level 31
Joined
Jun 27, 2008
Messages
2,557
Well now it's much better. But in my opinion there still are some mistakes. At the beggining you tell the story, you could give little bit more time to read all it. It's obvious that you fixed many misspellings, but not all, anyway, it's a good point. Also it's quite short cinematic..

The demostration of Ice powers seemed okay, especially camera, but I wouldn't say so about fire. Camera was badly done, you could choose different angle of camera. Icebergs falled from the sjy and I saw it falling from there and it was something nice, but while fire meteors, you raise camera up looking at small spot of ground. I don't order you to set alsmost the same camera as while Ice, I just told an example. However, while Ice was falling, camera fade out and fade in in quite decent delay, but Fire explosion camera fade out and fade in took too long and it looks not proffesional.

Ending was pretty quick too, I would say, even too quickly. Elemental started talking and suddenly everything ended, that's the way to lose the impression quickly. If you might fade out everything (Dialog on block background (Endidng)) in like about 3-6 seconds, the impression would stay in your mind for a while. It's like, you dive into the story and when everything suddenly ends, it wakes you up. Ending everything in slow mode might be successful. Maybe all this sounds weird, lol, but that's how I understand cinematics / movies.

Also, the bad thing is that elements has no portrait, I mean you cannot see it talking. The only way to recognize which elemental is talking is to read his name. You get little bit messy, because you want to see action and what heroes are talking, with this problem you need to know who is talking every time again and again when someone starts talking. When you see speaker's portrait, you will recognize him when you'll see him again, it will be enough to look at colors of portrait not hardly trying to look who is talking when heroes are the same.

From 1/5 rating, I supposed to rate your cinematic, now it gets 1.5-2/5, hard to decide, I want to put it 1.5/5, but it feels like it's too low, but I don't want 2/5 cuz it still too good. However, it's your first cinematic, as I was saying. My rating will not change.
 
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