The Pit

[Moderator]

14:17, 10th Dec 2009
ap0calypse: Approved

 

[ACdestinydream]

Alright let me be the 1st one to comment on your cinematics.
PROS AND CONS
[-]At the start, the 'earth' word is out of place(fix it pls)
[-]The warriors wasnt introduced at first (very awkward, how come 2 heroes appear and start fighting)
[+]The spells are good and flashy (somehow)
[-]The transition of spells is not good (spells appear out from nowhere???)
[-]The spells used is too long ( for eg the dreadlord's bat, the fireball shot out, makes the cinematic long and draggy(not to mention boring))
[-]U didnt show out where is the underworld lord is when the battle begins ( i duno why but i like cinematics where audience is shown like gladiators)
[-]Since its a battle cinematic, it lacks the atmosphere that battles usually have. something is wrong or is it with me?

Overall i like your cinematic. not many ppl wana make cinematics so if u make alot of errors its quite fine. i dont do cinematics myself. 3/5 for these common cinematics error made. Thumbs up

 

[ap0calypse]

For a first cinematic, this isn't bad.

I'm pretty sure I've seen story this before... I can't recall where, though.
The special effects were avarage (sometimes bad, the special effect in your screenshot isn't good and way too similar to Dragonball).
There were some effects I kind of liked, but it wasn't anything special.
The Dreadlord's frost bolt always seemed to appear out of nowhere (somewhere above his head).
Sometimes the spells were too repetitive (it seemed like hundreds of firebolts/carrion swarms were fired before it finally stopped).
It's also too... how do I put this? It seemed like something was missing in between 2 scenes.

The music was good and entertaining, it fit the map quite well.

The camera was bad.

The triggers are bad, they're filled with leaks and are inefficient.

The terraining is bad (though you've mentioned that yourself),

There were some really annoying typo's, such as "evry", "doges")
On top of that, the intro's text is a bit messed up, it's better to make each sentence a message.
The "there you go, the portal is open" and "off I go then" is a bit... mehh >.> it's too... simple, you could've made it sound more heroïc...

I don't know what my rating is yet, it's somewhere around 1.5/5, but I have to decide whether I round it up or down
Let's see what other people have to say about this...

 

[ACdestinydream]

aw come on apocalypse its okay for a first cinematic if it was me u wont bother to rate mine as its too crappy =.=
well i dont think leaks will affect a cinematic wont it?

 

[f0rsAk3n]

You can really expand this into a story. Like Chapter 1 - The Pit etc.

Anyway I really enjoyed watching this. Great job for a first cinematic.

 

[ap0calypse]

A map is a map, whether it's the first one he/she made or the 100th...
I said "For a first cinematic, this isn't bad.", that's true... but really, the triggers, terrain, camera and finishing touch could all be a lot better.

Leaks do affect cinematics, if they have camera movement, for example.
This one nearly has no camera movement (very bad point), so yeah...

 

[meatfactory]

Well I think it's pretty good though ap0calypse and ACdestinydream had a point with some of their suggestions a specially the part with the usage of too much swarms fire balls and the ending was a bit... well I dunno dull I mean the pit "master" summons that portal for so long after such an epic battle and the surviving hero just says "off i go then..." sound like I'm trying to buy some nuclear weapons from some dark mysterious double agents and pay like 1 billion euro or something and they look me dead in the eyes and ask me "would you like a cheese burger with that?". I didn't like some of the knock backs seemed a little bit to slow. But over all it's really well made cinematic music was good, terrain was average - 4/5 for the effort.

Forgot to mention I don't like the map priview.

 

[reason 3]

Warning this time my review is in hidden tags cause i don't want to spoil it for others.Click on it only if you have seen this cinematic.

Map Review

This review is made by reason 3, if you have any questions or anything else to comment feel free to Private Message me.You may also ask me to review your map again.

A cinematic feautiring a fight between 2 heroes, in the "Pit".The award is their freedom.

[+]Your map file size doesn't matter since its a cinematic.
[+]Your idea was awesome, i really loved it.I hope see more parts of it.
[+]Overall a nice fight, with nice spells and a few good moves.
[+]The camera angle was good, allowing you to see even the slightest details in the battle.
[-]You shoud move your camera a bit smoother though.
[-]I didn't like the point where illidan got killed and he stood up again?Why?Is he supposed to have reincarnation or something?
[-]I noticed some typos at the start, correct those.

Overall rating:3/5
I'm gonna vote for approval.You got a nice cinematic over there..Especially for your first one.You can continue this and make a successfull storyline.
~ r3

 

[ap0calypse]

Because of the other comments: 2/5 ~approved ^^

Anyway, you can really edit a few things (such as the ending, the firebolts and the typo's).
That takes like 5 minutes to fix.

Other things, like the terrain and the triggers will take a while (the triggers probably the longest, as I think that you don't really know how to fix what I have mentioned).
For the terrain: you can add a fog or something (under map options or triggered, your choice).

sound like I'm trying to buy some nuclear weapons from some dark mysterious double agents and pay like 1 billion euro or something and they look me dead in the eyes and ask me "would you like a cheese burger with that?".

lol xD

 

[reason 3]

sound like I'm trying to buy some nuclear weapons from some dark mysterious double agents and pay like 1 billion euro or something and they look me dead in the eyes and ask me "would you like a cheese burger with that?".

That made me laugh...

 

[millzy]

Thank you all for all the fead back thanks so much ill see what i can do for fixing those up

warning you should only read if you have seen the cinematic

my replys

ACdestinydream

Alright let me be the 1st one to comment on your cinematics.
PROS AND CONS
[-]At the start, the 'earth' word is out of place(fix it pls)
[-]The warriors wasnt introduced at first (very awkward, how come 2 heroes appear and start fighting)
[+]The spells are good and flashy (somehow)
[-]The transition of spells is not good (spells appear out from nowhere???)
[-]The spells used is too long ( for eg the dreadlord's bat, the fireball shot out, makes the cinematic long and draggy(not to mention boring))
[-]U didnt show out where is the underworld lord is when the battle begins ( i duno why but i like cinematics where audience is shown like gladiators)
[-]Since its a battle cinematic, it lacks the atmosphere that battles usually have. something is wrong or is it with me?

Overall i like your cinematic. not many ppl wana make cinematics so if u make alot of errors its quite fine. i dont do cinematics myself. 3/5 for these common cinematics error made. Thumbs up

not sure what you mean by earth is out of place
just the way i thought it would work
Thanks
all spell come from no where in cinematics iv seen dunno what to do there
ill make the dreadlord swarm and fire balls less
i dont think it is needed
i think a audience in this will be to korny(not mentioning the crapy off i go then ending)

ap0calypse

For a first cinematic, this isn't bad.

I'm pretty sure I've seen story this before... I can't recall where, though.
The special effects were avarage (sometimes bad, the special effect in your screenshot isn't good and way too similar to Dragonball).
There were some effects I kind of liked, but it wasn't anything special.
The Dreadlord's frost bolt always seemed to appear out of nowhere (somewhere above his head).
Sometimes the spells were too repetitive (it seemed like hundreds of firebolts/carrion swarms were fired before it finally stopped).
It's also too... how do I put this? It seemed like something was missing in between 2 scenes.

The music was good and entertaining, it fit the map quite well.

The camera was bad.

The triggers are bad, they're filled with leaks and are inefficient.

The terraining is bad (though you've mentioned that yourself),

There were some really annoying typo's, such as "evry", "doges")
On top of that, the intro's text is a bit messed up, it's better to make each sentence a message.
The "there you go, the portal is open" and "off I go then" is a bit... mehh >.> it's too... simple, you could've made it sound more heroïc...

I don't know what my rating is yet, it's somewhere around 1.5/5, but I have to decide whether I round it up or down
Let's see what other people have to say about this...

-i have no idea where you getting this other story from its streat off my head
-never seen that in dragonball(cant realy say any thing there only seen dragonball like twice)
-frost bolt ill fix up (might be i added an arc to it)
-missing what where?
-what did i do to the cam witch you didnt like
-leaky triggers like all cinematics iv seen are leaky(i didnt leak and special effects )
-couldent fit a sentance on each line
-i dunno couldent think of any thing other then big opening of the portal
1.5/5 OUCH

f0rsAk3n

You can really expand this into a story. Like Chapter 1 - The Pit etc.

Anyway I really enjoyed watching this. Great job for a first cinematic.

i guess so but ill be working on a another cinematic with a proper story line and stuff after this is all well and good

meatfactory

Well I think it's pretty good though ap0calypse and ACdestinydream had a point with some of their suggestions a specially the part with the usage of too much swarms fire balls and the ending was a bit... well I dunno dull I mean the pit "master" summons that portal for so long after such an epic battle and the surviving hero just says "off i go then..." sound like I'm trying to buy some nuclear weapons from some dark mysterious double agents and pay like 1 billion euro or something and they look me dead in the eyes and ask me "would you like a cheese burger with that?". I didn't like some of the knock backs seemed a little bit to slow. But over all it's really well made cinematic music was good, terrain was average - 4/5 for the effort.

Forgot to mention I don't like the map priview.

-"off i go then"(i didnt realy like my self but found it funny also it was at the end so i rushed it )
-slides to slow im not sure....

ap0calypse

Because of the other comments: 2/5 ~approved ^^

Anyway, you can really edit a few things (such as the ending, the firebolts and the typo's).
That takes like 5 minutes to fix.

Other things, like the terrain and the triggers will take a while (the triggers probably the longest, as I think that you don't really know how to fix what I have mentioned).
For the terrain: you can add a fog or something (under map options or triggered, your choice).


lol xD

-Approved YAAAAAAAYY
-the fire balls as said ill do somthing about it
-my spelling and gramma is realy bad i know
-terrain i find terraining realy hard i dont think ill get good at it any time also i find underground super super hard
-yea i can fix the leaks i just got lazy and thought that they dont matter in cinematics
-fog i have no experiance with fog i have no idea on how to work it

 

[kael46]

OMG a nice map indid...realy

 

[Aesthetics]

This was approved? Holy ship. Well, can't argue with the public, right?

 

[millzy]

you didnt like it? what was wrong tell me ill see what i can do

 

[The Mechanic]

This was approved? Holy ship. Well, can't argue with the public, right?

Was that really necessary?

 

[Aesthetics]

Was that really necessary?

Nope~.

 

[ACdestinydream]

i think u hurt his feelings with those words.

 

[Aesthetics]

I think of map uploading as inviting harsh words (and some other words too).

 

[ACdestinydream]

i think map uploading is asking for good comments on how to make it better and not inviting harsh words. u see all the comments on maps. unless the map is 0.5 or 0 no1 will insult that map maker.

 

[GhostThruster]

View Post
I think map uploading allows the creator to take in ideas, anyways the cinematic is great for a first one, however the terrain needs a bit work, the opening writing is a bit messy and you should fix the bit where Fearoth is resurrected. Good job, 3.5/5. Thumbs up.

 

[millzy]

can use please only post if posting about the map

 

[GhostThruster]

Oh, okay sorry for swearing. But, can you swear just a little bit and say words like ass (which isn't really a swear word unless you add hole to it)? It is pretty cool how you just replaced all the words with *, I won't swear like that again.

 

[The Mechanic]

I think of map uploading as inviting harsh words (and some other words too).

At least give him some constructive criticism so he can improve the map.

 

[selamiboss]

Going to test the cinematic(Listen to apocalypse and the others fix that all and we'll go to a nice cinematic tough)

 

[Crazed_seal2]

function lovedthis takes unit ThisCinematic returns unit Enjoyed

Awesome Cinematic! I loved it. 3.5/5
[-] Terrain (1)
[-] Spelling and Grammer Errors (0.5)
[+] It was not boring even the repetative carrion and firebolts (1)
[+] It was very engaging and it had great effects (1)
[+] It just plain rocked! (1.5)
3.5 = Rep

 

[millzy]

thanks for the review
im glade that you liked it

 

[Vengeancekael]

As a member of the group Map Reviewers, I will be checking approved cinematics again:

Compatible - X

Permission - X

Map already uploaded - X

Rules - X

Bugs - X

Genre - X

Section - X

Category - X

[X = Passed]
[X = Failed]

 

[_PV]

Dont listen to him, your cinematic is very good! it just inspired me get on with my cinematic =] you keep at it, im giving a 5, keep rocking dude

((was refering to the critics about the "Don't listen to him" part))

 

[Blackhoof]

nice first cinematic (better than my first cinematic, still not approved, working on it, though.)

I enjoyed it and the effects were done skillfully and with precision i can only hope to one day possess. Good job. Maybe i shall attempt to make a duel cinematic. maybe....

 

[millzy]

nice first cinematic (better than my first cinematic, still not approved, working on it, though.)

I enjoyed it and the effects were done skillfully and with precision i can only hope to one day possess. Good job. Maybe i shall attempt to make a duel cinematic. maybe....

thanks im thinking about making another but im busy with my current project and im in the middle of terrianing the next part for my Revenge of The Blademaster Series

 

[_PV]

very good cinematic. inspired me to begin making my own cinematic, thanks (don't worry, i'm not going to copy your cinematic =]) i rate 4.5

 

[deepstrasz]

3/5.
The dreadlord ran the second time he froze his opponent!?