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Short Story Contest #4 - Great War Stories

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Through the air went a serene presence - a breeze, wafting desultorily over a yellow wheat field, gathering the heat tucked in the soil. The thin, lengthy stalks swayed like a sea of liquid gold. There was a gentle splash, nearly soundless, as two or three drops of dew slipped from a granule. Lit by early morning rays, each filled with a dozen rainbows, they softly splattered on the greenery below. The little clovers and grasses and wildflowers thirstily sipped and swallowed the cool refreshment. The droplets disappeared amid the crinkly dark crevices. The breeze drifted onwards, and as it went another sound shook through it - to any within hearing range, it was like an army of glass ants dancing upon a glass floor. But, all was normal, dear reader… It was the sound of trickling waters, from a nearby river.
This wandering breeze glided down the damp, sloping river bank. There were to be found many a plant, entwined with one another like a single entity, as they vied for footholds and nourishment. The breeze whispered secretively to a tuft of shrubs, the language was one only it knew, speaking of the many things it had encountered during its travels. It seemed the shrubbery nodded its plethora of heads in appreciation. The breeze had a fondness for sharing its insights and experiences. There was so much to tell, and a great deal it had seen!
If you asked a transient breeze to tell you a story, it would immediately stop and share a tale of the ages long ago. Very little evaded the senses of breezes, and their memories always seemed to call up times that had never been recounted. Perhaps, your breeze would speak of the lumbering redskin Ogres, who would roam from the mountains, down to their river camps in pursuit of the spring fish.

As most folks once knew, such Ogres were simple beasts, with an immense love of food and comfort, and prone to frequent disagreements. In the evenings they would gather about a crackling fire, with a roasting catch on a spit. The Ogre Chieftain had the first dibs, and if any should dispute this he would be quick to pummel them until they couldn’t even move their jaw to chew, let alone bite down (for their teeth would be missing!). After all, that was how the Chieftain became the Chieftain.
When he had his fill, his underlings would bicker in their deep, fluffy voices.
“HEY! Oi was ‘upposed ter have da tail dis time, Smort!”
“Yew!? Na, yew got der tail ‘ast tym, ‘n’ ‘asides, oi deserve da tail cause I was da one wot spot’ed dis fish in der first place!”
“Whot!? Grrr, why yew lyin’ litt’l dung ‘eap, oi ‘m the ‘un wot did da werk! Oi caught tha’ flippin’ fish, di’jin yew seez? ‘N’ did yew see wha’ ee did tah me ‘and? Ee bloodied et all oop, wi’ dat spiky skin o’ ‘is!”
“Oh, harrr, yor ‘and all ‘urt, is it? Ha, yew idjit! Oh, por yew al roight. Hohoho!”
This was the usual vulgar back and forth - their voices booming like the wardrums of the Dwarven Hordes. The sound alerted every creature to steer well clear, for it was coda to resolve this with an Ogre Brawl. Anything at hand would be hoisted and flung, in every direction - trees, boulders, Ogres… Eventually, the largest would always sit on the rest, taking his fill of food and drink while the others complained and moped.
Occasionally, when the tribal healer was about with his belt full of freshly concocted brews, they would forget about brawling, and have a ‘drinkin’ test.’ Out would come the bottles of potent Head Split Ale, or the sickly smelling Blood Whiskey. The latter was a gruesome concoction, be warned - made from boiled men-folk (or two-legs, as the breeze thought of them) (Ogres were dearly fond of them, for eating, you see) and mixed with a handful of Honeyroot. While they drank and drank, many a song would be sung, in the primeval Ogre tongue. Deep voices, intermingled with the sporadic gurgling belch, carried on for hours. As the night would wear away, eventually only one would remain cognizant to enjoy his spoils. And this was always the tribal healer, who’d perfidiously spike the others’ drinks with a tendril of sleep root.

Most breezes would tell you stories akin to this, and you would still hear their voices trailing off softly as you departed at the end of the day. This was the very tale our breeze spoke to the shrub. And now, as it swirled and swam, its thoughts turned to its own joyfulness. It is good to be back home! It somersaulted in the air trenchantly, surging with a desire to gust. It had been a year since its return to this oasis, its home. Long ago, this was where it began… only a small flurry, born in a great thunderstorm.
Burning with a desire to share its jubilation, it stopped and stroked the tail of a rabbit, causing it to shimmer like the running waters nearby. Clearly ebullient, the creature dropped the morsel he had been nibbling and arched his stiff back, absorbing the breeze’s warmth.
“Oh, mee surr back,” the rabbit sighed, speaking in a queer rustic brogue. “Gud ‘ol friendly wind’urz, many thankees.” Only the rabbit’s kin, the breeze, and a small handful of others could understand his language.
“Brrr… oi shou’ be getting’ on soon, oi g’ss.” He stretched his somnolent paws. “’Ome’s a long wayz offen.”
Within the rabbits mind, roguish vituperation bounced about disorderly. Gurffs! Too manyz kloos calls furr one rabbidy ‘n a day! Oooh, oi! Noi beez der ‘nough of on karrots! Usn’s neeez em fer grubblin’ ‘n’ growing big feets!
The poor creature probably has a right to grumble - so thought the breeze, sympathetically. The breeze had seen and heard all, as it always did. This was the time of year when the two-legs would come - not the men-folk, but ones who were much shorter and broader, with spindly roots dangling from their chins. They rode on the backs of their rumbling, grumbling, stinking monstrosities. These things appeared like boulders, wrapped in a wrinkly old leaf. This was why most creatures called them the old-boulder-walkers. Rumor had it they were actually Elephants. Every year they surged into the woodlands, trampling and crushing. What was most invidious was, should any animal rise to flee, there was a twang like the grunt of a giant brute, and a segment of tree-limb tipped by black stone would careen forth and strike it… The breeze tried to dislodge the unpleasant image from its mind. It had seen it many a time, and with ever growing regularity.
The little rabbit nearly suffered a similar fate - being squished underneath one of the thing’s hulking, boorish feet. Desperately, the breeze tried buffeting against it; yet it hardly budged - irrefragable! The floppy grey leaves upon its head merely flapped. Just before one of the colossal tree stump-like pads squashed the rabbit, he managed to nip and dash aside.
But, he had leapt from the frying pan and into the fire. For - suddenly - the breeze watched as he was descended upon by a downpour of those angry, sharp-tipped… things. Arrows, they are called. They whirred and whistled through the air. FTHYWWW! Collision after collision sounded, black tips sinking into the earth as easily as if it were a mire. Soil, twig and leaf were crumbled and broken ubiquitously beneath. Nearly imperceptible gasps of pain emanated from the earth - shafts decorating it like the quills of a hedgehog.
The undergrowth was dense, and the two-legs could not see well enough to hit their mark. Their frustrated, gruff voices were irate.
“Aggh! Where are yah, rabbit?”
“Skrawny runt!”
“Mangy piece of fluff! I’ll burn its fur off nice and slow if I --”
“Grr! You shortbeards, you lost it!?”
Further dialogue was amalgamated with expletives. The rabbit had just eluded them, delitescent in the earthy recess where a tree once stood. The intruders marched by, leaving a scar of flattened vegetation in their wake. Such heedless annihilation…
Presently, it seemed that the rabbit was reliving the episode; his tail twitched and his eyes were squeezed tight. His heart raced wildly, his mind timorously buzzing. The breeze scratched the critter’s ears in a comforting manner - he began to calm. Questions emerged in the breeze’s mind.
Who are these two-legs? Why do they want to destroy our forest? What are those things they hurt the animals with? And why do they do it?!! The breeze could not place any ripostes.
Old memories swirled into its train of thought.

A year ago to the day, it soared from its peaceful oasis, as it always had in early spring. It soared over the surface of the river. And after days of gliding and skimming, it left behind the soft soil and verdant woodlands. It entered that demesne of short two-legs - a place riddled with towering mountains, some of nature, others of the two-legs’ construction. Not so long ago, they had been primitive creatures, concerning themselves with life deep in caves, and meals over fires. Back then, they had not captured those malodorous monstrosities with which to ride upon - nor would they fire their arrows at the slightest hint of movement.
There, in the land of the two-legs, the breeze discovered that the world was so different. They had tapped the energy of the earth, forming mountains of rigid grey shapes with it (castles and fortresses, these were called). It had taken them only a few hundred years. The two-legs were as powerful as the ancient spirits! With a sudden, rare display of contempt, the breeze gusted harshly. It thought, Nature had not been so quick to form the lakes and trees! Both marvel and abhorrence filled its little form.
Suddenly, caught off guard, it found itself in a pillar of black air; the dark substance clung to it - clouded its skin and tangled in its hair, assailing and stinging, the way honey bees behave with thieving bears. The breeze writhed and twisted in agony and fright, shrinking to half its size. Nothing ablated the duress of the darkness. Then it spoke; the breeze could understand what it said - whispering rancorous things in its ears - but it did not listen. It gusted skyward, speeding with the same vigor it had as a young one above the churning waters of the Grimgale. It blasted into a white puff of cloud, and the particles of water reached out their hands and grabbed the dark air, asphyxiating it. The breeze heaved with relief, and thanked the cloud, giving it a strong current of air to carry it on.
“Yooz no needin’ thankees for us, friend!” sung the cloud - a chorus of soft, high-pitched voices. The breeze was surprised to recognize its old friend.
“Kumulo-niimbus, is that you, old friend?”
“Yes!” came a cheerful reply.
Very few of the old spirits remained in this world - it seemed the two-legs learned to sap their essence - and the breeze was glad that Kumulo-niimbus lived. It inquired, curiously, “Where have you been, old friend?”
He did not reply, for suddenly he seemed to cough and splutter, heaving like a tidal wave. His white fluff darkened. Alarmed, the breeze cried, “Are you alright?”
As soon as it began, Kumulo-niimbus settled - when he next spoke, his voices were nadir. “The dark air… the two-leg’s smoke. Vurry bad, yes, yes...” his voices faded to a sputtering cough.
“What do you mean, friend,” asked the breeze, not meaning to be pushy, but unable to resist its curiosity
Kumulo-niimbus was unable to answer, still coughing and wheezing quietly. The breeze inflated to twice its normal size, and - wrapping it limbs around its friend’s cushiony girth - pulled him along. High into the sky they. irrupted. There came a squelching, slushy sound - thick tendrils of inky blackness sloughed from the cloud, squirming as they dropped, fading into nothingness without their host. Soon, it seemed they were purged. Together, the breeze and the cloud flew as if they were tenacious newborns again.
“Ooh, friend, thankees you have from mees!” Kumulo-niimbus sung happily. “Ee blackyness is all gone; gud, gud!”
Overfilled with wonder, the breeze asked, “What was that?” The inky darkness was as thick as mud, yet far more evil than any mud spirit the breeze had encountered.
For response, Kumulo-niimbus queried, “Doo ee knows about thee gurst trees that are tak’un from the forests?”
The breeze shook his ethereal head. Kumulo-niimbus could see, and his many shrill voices asked, “Doo you knows abouts the ‘phanters?”
‘Phanters… The word was mellifluous (and unfamiliar) to the breeze. “I don’t know of them, friend. What are they?”
“They are creatures’urs, ‘n’ are loik vury ol’ two-legs - you sees, they ‘r’ gud ‘n’ ‘rinklyz, ee are. Most beast’urs call ee ol’-‘oulder-walkers’urs. But, theys ‘r’ ‘phanters, ois says. Back’urs some moon-turns agos, ee two-legs’urs went on ee ‘venture, into the ‘unglyz, vury far in ee northern land’urs.”
Kumulo-niimbus loved to conflate knowledge as much as water droplets. He went on, “Ee spirts’urs were ‘nable to touch thems, for a wizard accompanied them.”
A wizard! The breeze had only heard rumors of those two-legs; it was said they could control spirits by reading aloud a strange tongue from their parchments.
“Thems marched deep in’tur ee ‘unglyz. There’s where ee founds ee ‘phanters, for ee first toim’ees. Trample the trees, ee did - yons ‘ells over loiks you blew as a ‘urricane, friend! Ee ‘phanters tramples ee trees to clear ee ones whose spirits have returned to ee earths’urs. Ee two-leg’urs not understands, no, no… follow’ered ee ‘phanters, ee did,‘n’ gathered ups all ee trees that fell. ‘N’ then, ‘hey made fires’s to make ee ‘phanters run faster, ‘n’ more ‘rees would falls’urs - even with spirits in them! Ee ‘izard’urs prevented others spirits’urs from coming to ‘elp!”
“That’s terrible!” the breeze exclaimed.
“Ois agrees!” Kumulo-niimbus cried, his voice tinged with angst. “The two-legs make them destroy… ‘N’ after they pass, they collects all that fell... ee plants ‘n’ ‘nimals.”
The breeze was aghast at the thought. “Where do they take them?”
“Oh, to this land,” said Kumulo-niimbus. His droplets scurried to form a stick, pointing towards the ground below. “The two-legs dumps them in ‘urnaces. It’s sucked dry; ees resin ‘n’ ee water removed.” He made a grimace. “Then, it’s all burned ups!” he continued. “Bad, vurry bad!”
The cloud scrunched tightly in his truculence, his pure white color turning the dark shade of a thunderstorm. Rivulets of energy seeped from him, and into the breeze. A blinding flash of lightning illuminated its imagination, unbidden. Horizontal torrents of rain streaked by; a frosty gale howling above white-cap waves; there came the sounds of heaving seas like a thousand roaring Ogres, concomitant with the sounds of clapping thunder and cracking timbers; shrapnel and debris launched from the sinking skeletal frames of two-leg vessels and flew like carrion birds, greedily circling a carcass-strewn battlefield. So long ago…
They had raged over the Grimgale - the breeze and the cloud - hoping to show the other spirits they were not to be meddled with. The old brawn vibrated voraciously through the breeze. To howl again… The thought made it shiver.
With a start, the breeze’s senses returned. All was a blur, sounds and sights nearly imperceptible. A nagging sensation overwhelmed it - not unlike a starved beasts desire to feast. Gathering up all the will it could muster, the breeze thought, I do not want to transform!
Gradually, like efflorescence greeting morning sunlight, the sensation faded. The breeze felt the familiar freshness of its breath, vision and hearing returning. It remembered Kumulo-niimbus - Friend! The cloud was still held tightly in its grasp - sparks skipping threateningly upon his water droplets, daring to rumble - but his energy slackened and staid, his white luster returning.
All about, other clouds and their breezes sailed by, pacifically…
Spirits of the air congregated when they sensed a storm was forming, being perpetually friendly beings.
Sadly, the breeze thought, They are not spirits. So few remain…
Far below was the territory claimed by the two-legs; standing silently were distinct cold grey mounds, comprised of subterraneous rock. The breeze squeezed its friend lightly. The two thought in silence for awhile, each thinking a different thought. Kumulo-niimbus reflected upon his near transformation to a thunderstorm with giddy happiness, glad to have avoided the treacherous mishap. His past experiences had been unfavorable.
After a long time had passed, the breeze decided to give voice to its curiosity. “Where are we going, friend?”
In reply, Kumulo-niimbus reshaped himself in a falcon.
The breeze was surprised - but then understanding dawned: his friend wanted to dive, and the breeze obliged him, becoming a downdraft. Warm air ballooned in its lungs as they plummeted toward the distant earth - a menagerie of hues looming: brown, green and blue. The horizon was a jagged line of mountains, encircling them like a massive crown.
Drawing nearer, groves of trees were visible. The land was like a bear’s scruffy fur - green patches suggesting he’d recently scampered down a mossy bank. His veins were blue, twinkling as though thick with rare azure crystal. Not a creature stirred upon this land like a bear-pelt…
Something caught the breeze’s eyes: at the base of a hillock, in a clearing surrounded by a grove of pine trees, were two figures. It drew a sharp intake of breath, which sounded through the air as a fierce whistle. Foxes! it realized - their fur glowing white as brightly as Kumulo-niimbus.
“Thems’urs ares not normal fox’ez, friend,” the cloud whispered. “Can you tell?”
The foxes returned the breeze’s gaze, their eyes a mysterious blue like palimpsests of sky and sea. The breeze was unsure whether to be amazed or frightened. Through the din of its own howling, it called out, “Spirits!” For spirits they were.
Kumulo-niimbus’s voices chorused, “Ee ‘r’ emanatings’urs adroitisms’urs! Ons ‘r’ ee oldest’urs o’ us’uns spirits’urs.”
The oldest of spirits! “But, I thought they had all returned to the earth?”
The cloud was silent. They were only a small gust away from the foxes now. The breeze became aware of their fangs… a dark redness besprinting them. Kumulo-niimbus smoothly spread his vapor wings, plopping upon a flat boulder beside them.
Both old spirits lowered their heads respectively, their black noses touching the grassy earth. “Kumulo-niimbus,” one growled, “you are the first to arrive.” Raising their heads, a single ruby-red drop fell from one’s jaw. Red glistened fresh around their mouths, matting down their fur. Blood? the breeze wondered. Kumulo-niimbus did not seem to notice. His singsong voices chimed in the air, his words in an unusual tongue, “Ay-eeem tars’urs!” He bent into a bow, cloudy wingtips sweeping the ground, leaving thin vapor trails. The breeze knew this customary green from long ago.
Kumulo-niimbus began to morph, his mass shrinking in the breeze’s grasp. He took on the appearance of a small grey fox. Cloud-spirits - the breeze knew - immensely enjoy taking on forms matching their companions - Kumulo-niimbus especially.
The cloud spoke, using two-legs’ words, “Whens do ee others’urs come?”
The foxes mutely turned to look over their shoulders. The sky was aflame with the low sun, beams of amber and crimson light running from the infernal orb like molten rivers or venomous snakes - from their mouths poured flame that burned through cloud-edge and plant-leaf. A great spirit. All creatures had an understanding of the sun’s power, for he was the firstborn, and creator of many others: fire, earth, life…
One fox growled, “When the sun is behind the mountains.”
Kumulo-niimbus nodded his acknowledgement, and turned towards the breeze. “Friend, the spirits’urs hold a council. We ‘ecides if’n wees go to war with ee two-leg’urs!”

All sound and sight faded; it was a year later.
The breeze awoke from its dream. Familiar sights and sounds of home saturated it. A bee droned past, transporting bundles of sweet pollen on his legs. The breeze’s gaze shifted to a jutting root in the river bank - tucked beneath was a white ball. “Off’n ter ‘ome ois shoo bees,” the ball mumbled. “Mmnn, nappers first.” The rabbit twitched, and gave a snore.
Caught in the warm glow of slumber, the breeze recalled what transpired that year ago.
Before the sun was behind the mountains, a dozen spirits gathered. As the light of the sun faded and stars and moon twinkled into life overhead, they came to a decision, “We bring war to the two-legs!”
The breeze was unvoiced in this decision. It looked on in awe at the impressive creatures assembled: a stout bear, an inquisitive raccoon, a lively otter, a sharp-beaked raven, a bulky puma, a solitary turtle, a tenacious squirrel, a venerable old oak…
Now, the breeze was disappointed that it had not taken part, for during its wanderings it obsessed in thought, forming a strong opinion. I do not like war. If only I’d acted…
War there was to be. It was determined not to let any harm come to Kumulo-niimbus. Thinking of his friend made the breeze feel sad and teary.
It became aware of a puffing sound. A little creature flapped arduously by - a small owl. “Rrrr!” he cried, struggling to levitate. “Are you -- ee friend -- of Kumulo-niimbus?” he squeaked amid deep gasps of breathe.
The breeze lent him an uplifting current of air. He reclined with a contented sigh. “Oh, yeah…”
A pot owl! The breeze thought insouciantly - such owls were rarely glimpsed, for they were prodigiously good at concealment and nefariously devious. It replied to the Pot owl’s question, “Yes! Have you seen him?”
Without hesitation he replied, “Yeah’r, come ‘n’ ‘ollow mees.” He fluttered away, suddenly already a long way down the river, furiously beating his fluffy wings. “Oor, come on ee wing’urs!” he said, chastising his own wings.
The breeze gusted after him, casting supporting air tendrils. Down the winding river they went. Occasionally the owl dipped his feet beneath the glassy surface, rising with a plump morsel - the slimy skin of a fish glinting. He splashed and slopped about, grappling with the heavy burden. “Urff! Grrbblbl gurrr!” he groaned. Chagrin words clattered through his brain as he berated himself for his incompetence.
The breeze channeled stalwart torrents to lift him. He promptly devoured his morsel with a few swift pecks. “Mmm-mmph!” he exclaimed, satisfied.
They went on like this for what seemed like hours. A dragonfly accompanied them, until he was suddenly eaten by a kingfisher.
The breeze felt a slight impatience, concealing it as it said, “How much further?”
The owl was silent for a time. Abruptly, there was a flap, a flurry of falling feathers - he veered away from the riverbank. “Come wiv me!” he shouted. They hurtled past rough, dark tree trunks, dodging through thorn bushes, the owl moving with vivacious agility. They burst through a tight growth of shrubs, into a sheltered clearing. And there was Kumulo-niimbus, floating white and fluffy in the middle. “Friend!” he paean, “Yous ‘r’ ‘ere!”
“Thankees, Dorbz.” he told the owl, “You may ‘ave ees berries’urs now.”
Dorbz brightened, and flapped away into the dense vegetation, fiendishly seeking the stash of berries Kumulo-niimbus had prepared for him. The breeze and cloud heard him thwacking many stems and leaves as he went.
“Weez talk tu’gever,” Kumulo-niimbus whispered, “take’usn’s ‘into ee ‘oodland’urs.”
Sensing its friend was troubled, the breeze blew towards the shadowy nexus of the wood, Kumulo-niimbus depositing misty waters upon the tree trunks.
“Ayz’ll tell you ‘omething, friend,” his voices rang crisply through the silent undergrowth.
“You ‘r’ ee ‘etter breeze than most,” he extolled. The breeze squeezed him affectionately. “After ee war councils, ayz ride wi’d a’nuddur breeze. Ee not nearly as ‘leasurable or suitables’urs as you, friend - frequently gusting ‘poradically ‘n’ bein’ a vicious cyclone!” The cloud sparked, agitated by the recollection. “’Nyways,” he became more cheery, “weez delivered messages to all spirits’urs. Said, we did, ‘If’n you wants’urs to get rid of ee two-leg’urs, come! Join us!’ and ‘hey ‘ollowed’rs us’ns!”
He morphed a patch of droplets into the a fox’s face, and looked toward the breeze. His words were melancholic, “Friends’urs, afore yoos tells me of your ‘ventures, there bees ‘omething else ayz must show you - baaads.”
The breeze was concerned, trailing Kumulo-niimbus on a labyrinthine course past arbor and fern stalk. The light resembled the patterned fur of a jungle cat, dark and dappled by foliage.
Kumulo-niimbus signaled his friend to slow, holding up a fox’s paw. They arrived on the verge of a petite sward, festooned by a menagerie of wildflowers - Harebell, Fireweed, Buttercup, Cingfoil - the breeze had learned what the two-legs called them. Standing as a cynosure in this colorful aperture was a massive trunk - ample enough to fit six two-legs side-by-side. The owner of the trunk was a venerable, antediluvian oak - the breeze saw its bark was a crumpled patchwork, its branches protracting far over the environing treetops. Instantly it saw this tree was a great spirit. I have seen him before… The breeze ruminated, for he was same venerable oak from the war council. Our General, Oaknam…
Something was wrong… The venerable one’s leaves were wilted. A dark substance shone from beneath the folds in his bark. He is dying! the thought clanged through the breeze like a collapsing cave.
Kumulo-niimbus’s wolf countenance looked from the ill tree to his friend. “‘Oisoned by ee two-legs’urs, friend,” he elucidated. “The blackyness that ee two-legs’urs ‘pew in the air - tis killingz ee Oaknams’urs…” he shook his cloudy mane sorrowfully. “If the two-leg’s corruption ‘ontinues’urs, then even young ‘n’ strong spirits’urs will be poisoned.”
“Will he be alright?”
“Ees vurry, vurry ill --”
The two talked on, unaware of a hubbub building - creatures great and small were lumbering, scurrying and scampering from the undergrowth. The friends silenced, witnessing them gathering around the poisoned oak. The sight of their stricken General caused them great distress.
The breeze’s eyes met the star-like orbs of a white fox. Another from the war council…
“Be still!” The effect was instantaneous - all activity ceased. Oaknam had spoken. Dear reader, were you there you’d feel like a mountain of damp, grainy soil were heaped upon you. Confident he had the attention of all, Oaknam’s voice could be heard. It faltered, wobbling like a bird struggling with a throat full of water - but then it cleared, sounding rich like a two-leg’s recently plowed loamy field. The breeze knew it was decorous to listen, and so it tried - yet it found his words hard to follow, for he spoke of strange things.
A debriefing, the breeze surmised. Oaknam told the spirits of the upcoming war. Each of his words was sagacious, but the breeze detected burning animosity behind them. Oaknam spoke of fire-spirits charring two-leg homes, of rock-spirits crumbling fortresses - bloodied visages burst in the breeze’s mind. It was mortified! The ill general spoke of slaughter… I have to stop this! A tornado churned, tugging at the breeze’s essence.
Without waiting for deliberation, the breeze cried out, “Wait!” It was startled by its own outburst. Never had its essence riled so. Kumulo-niimbus’s fox features expressed surprise. Oaknam was silent, the spirits turning glares upon the breeze. Feeling very aware of many a sharp fang, the breeze harnessed its inner gust.
Its voice was not dissimilar to the howls of a ferocious storm. “I ask you, General, do not slaughter the two-legs! Put them in chains if you must, but do not slaughter them!”
The breeze noticed the General’s eyes glinting like pools of water, seeming sad, hooded by layers of moss and contorted bark. “Breeze,” he beckoned placidly. (The breeze berated itself, for now it saw the old one was nearing his death.) “You are not a war-seeker. I know you are a gentle creature. Killing two-legs must seem lunacy to you now.” In the corners of his’ eyes were tiny green bubbles - the poison holding a strong grasp over him. He blinked in a futile attempt to expel the taint. “I appreciate your pacifism. What you propose is great wisdom. And so,” he addressed the spirits, “I ask all of you to imprison two-legs whenever possible - show mercy if they ask for it.”
He turned his weathered countenance back to the breeze. “When the war ends, you will understand why it was fought,” he gave a sputtering cough. When he continued, his voice was hoarse, “Your friend, Kumulo-niimbus, will tell you more… about… this.” He shuddered into silence.
The breeze’s essence spun, close to becoming a whirlwind - it fought to remain tranquil.
Kumulo-niimbus’s voices filled the abeyance, “My friend,” he said, his reverberations palliating the breeze, “Ayz know yoos no likes it, but ee war is necessarys’urs. Ee two-legs’urs will only change if’ns wees force thems’urs tooz!”
A gruff agreement came from the oak, his voice hardly louder than a falling drop of mud. His eyelids closed peacefully. The discord of his essence faded…
Return to the earth.
Mournful cries came from the coterie of spirits. The breeze’s animosity and trepidation became sadness. It felt a fresh, mighty resolve. A belligerent energy roiled amongst the spirits.
Then, Kumulo-niimbus was heard, faintly reciting mysterious words, “Ru ra’risti, ee’urs skar’arz unz oor. Fees’urs dee-wam bak.” He morphed into a tree - a match to Oaknam, leaf for leaf. This was a traditional way to honor the memory of a fallen spirit.
The white fox reared on hind legs, pointing his snout towards the firmament. ARRR-ARROOOOOOOO!! His wolf-like warcry flowed like a thousand winds.
“Spirits,” he snarled suddenly, bearing the strong tone of a leader, “Oaknam leaves us with a charge to carry out. You heard his words - we must do his bidding!”
Air rushed swiftly across the clearing, animal-spirit fur lifting, tree-spirit twigs bending. It was a grim affair as the hoard of woodlanders began to march. Dear reader, they followed the white fox obsequiously, going in the direction of the two-leg land.
“Stayz close, friend!” Kumulo-niimbus cried, the breeze raising a squall to propel them after the army.
The war had begun.

End of Chapter One
 
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The Battle of Stirling


And so he was... standing with a bloody sword, exhaust, with the face painted, the colors of freedom. With victory on his rear.

Stirling, September 11th, 1297.
The English troops were standing atop the hill, ready to fight, ready to crush as many Scottish men as it would be possible. Instead, the people of Scotland was ready to escape to home, so they could live, fighting was losing it's sense. The soldiers were pretty sure it was a clear defeat.
Then, the mighty Sir came within the multitude of barbaric men. It was easy to denote his stature, about three meters from head to heels.
The army was on command of Gallance Brahn, an expert battle master. Looking around, the mighty Sir asked to Gallance, "What is this? are you retreating?" "There's no possible victory here, the soldiers refuse to fight" answered Gallance. He walked a few steps away from Gallance's position and from a prolonged silence, he asked; "Is this an army!?" while walking around the front of the army's formation. None answered, a silence kept. "Do you really think an army is led by fear!?" asked again. "We have no fear!" said a soldier from the mass. "So you are telling me to retreat is not to fear" said the over sized barbarian, "This battle is lost, we are not going to fight. If we retreat we will live." said another soldier. "For some time, but yes. If you men, fight, you may die. But, if you don't fight, you will want to come back in time and fight this battle, you might understand me in a couple of years, when the tyranny rape our women, kill our children and destroy our homeland. Is that what you want? You want Edward to burn your home? You want your family's death? Is that what you really want?" A short silence was made after the over sized barbarian's word. "If we keep together we can make it, because they might take our lives, but the may NEVER TAKE OUR FREEDOM!" The multitude of soldiers were driven into a reflex point, and a few seconds after the Sir's word, every single soldier started to clash their weapons and shout in a rush. "And for so I say, stand up, take up you sword and shield and FIGHT FOR OUR FREEDOM!!" shouted with huge strength the new commander of the Scottish army.
The multitude of barbarians kept getting each time more aggressive and more likely to fight. Now the battle had recovered the cause.
It was possible to see the large English armies marching from the front, to engage the Scottish army in the river, the river of Stirling. Each passing second was another remember of English tyranny, each second was another reason to crush them.
The Scottish army was angry and enraged, they remembered that no one else than themselves would free them from England. Now, the English men were close, too close. The Scottish made haste into positioning in the bridge. Shield on the shoulder and the sword ready to slice.
The English light troops stepped into the bridge running at all speed. Then the English had engaged the Scottish formation from the front. The war sounds were so loud that they could be heard from a big distance; shields, swords and axes clashing and the soul of the war, the battle cries.
The Scottish warriors were fighting with great valor, no matter how greatly outnumbered they were, they kept their positions killing English after English.
The new commander, angry, entered the battlefield with a big jump, such size made a stomp that scared the nearby English soldiers, and made them fall. The commander swung his 3 meters sword and sent four soldiers to Hades, he swung it again and killed two more soldiers. Almost by surprise an English warrior attacked the commander from behind, no matter how fast he may did it, the commander turned with immense dexterity and parried the attack. To take advantage on the enemy he kept the sword down and crushed the enemy's skull with his right fist, the English hitted the ground unconscious. With strength and haste he kept fighting and pinning one and another soldier, it was an unstoppable butcher.
The battle was balanced at this point, the Scottish were not so many, but they were killing enough English to make a good enough fight.
As the English commander, Velek, seen this immense defeat, before it may happen, he sent the cavalry to ambush the troops from the flanks. The English commander sent the cavalry to pass through the river within the meadow zone. Also, he sent the heavy infantry to reinforce the bridge forces, the light infantry was going down too fast, and many were retreating.
About one hundred and fifty cavalrymen marching at all speed and three hundred heavy infantry soldiers reinforcing the English troops.
While everyone may have thought the commander was a seer, he already had this English plans already in mind, and for so, he had a counter-attack plan too.
He knew the heavy infantry was going to annihilate the Scottish men, but still he did nothing. He took a few men from the army and gave them the order to set in the flank.
The Scottish people wondered what the commander was plotting. But he was pretty sure of what he was doing.
When the time to fight with the heavy infantry soldiers came, the commander told the barbarians; "There they come! hold on my freedom warriors, hold them in the bridge and don't let them trespass it! Use a defensive stance!". And so the Scottish forces held the English within the bridge bounds with great efforts.
As time passed by, the Scottish commander kept an eye on the cavalry, they were already visible. The Scottish saw them too, and frightened up. "Stay in your positions and hold on, i know what i am doing!" told them the commander.
The heavy infantry was doing it's job very good, and in a matter of time they would blast the whole barbaric army, still, the Scottish commander said; "Keep your positions! HOLD THEM A BIT LONGER!!"
The cavalry was just about three hundred meters away from the flank. "Hold on... hold on..." repeated the Sir to the flank soldiers.
Now the cavalry was about one hundred meters away. "Just a bit more" said once again. It was the time, they were forty meters away. "NOW!!!" shouted the commander extremely confident. As he gave the order to the soldiers, every single barbarian took a spear from the grassy floor and made with haste a nice phalanx formation. Forty meters were enough time to do this, and not enough to make the horses stop. The cavalry was sent into a death formation, and almost the whole cavalry squad died in hands of the Schiltroms.
With victory almost on the commander's grasp, he went to the battlefield to keep the heavy infantry in bounds, while kept shouting "Hold on, victory is almost ours!". But this time the Scotland warriors were not so confident they would win, those heavy infantry seemed to be indestructible killing machines. From one time to another the bridge started to collapse and the commander said almost whispering; "I knew it". The wood bridge collapsed and almost every heavy soldier drowned.
The theory of the commander was the resistance of the wood bridge against the heavy armor of the enemy infantry, he knew it wouldn't resist the armor of three hundred heavy infantry soldiers.
The lasting English had to retreat, they were no match for the Scottish forces and their great commander, William Wallace. "VICTORY IS OURS!!!" desperately yelled with hope a soldier from the Scottish army followed by innumerable battle cries from the other barbarians.
And so he was... standing with a bloody sword, exhaust, with the face painted, the colors of freedom. With freedom on his front.
 
Level 10
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Messages
606
Here's another WiP, I've haven't really gotten the time to write that much so I've only gotten up to 984 words, I know... Don't blame me... Blame the School!

The axe came right towards me; I didn’t know what to do. It was like my mind was stuck to one screen. Someone pushed me out of the way, it was him! It was Alexandros, the great legend that had leaded our country to victory in many battles. I didn’t know what to think, or say for that matter. I just couldn’t believe that he would save a mere foot soldier like me. The moment went so quickly, I didn’t know what to do. “Get back to the fight soldier!” his voice was so strong, and so powerful. I could see why people would follow him to the death. I started to shake my head to get my mind in place and then I took up my sword and started fighting, then I woke up. The light of the lanterns blinded me for a moment, and then I saw the beautiful face lying over me. Her hair was long, and black-darkish. “What is it, honey?” her voice was soft and calm, but yet firm, “Did you have that dream again?” I moved to the end of the bed and sat there. “Yes, it keeps showing up. I know it was a long time ago, but the memories of Alexandros and the war keeps coming back. It won’t go away, I’ve tried everything! I’ve even talked to the city mage, but he just say that he can’t do anything about it. He says I’m stuck with it for all eternity.” I felt a soft hand stroke my back as I started at the floor. It was just too hard to live life after it; it had taken me five whole years just to get back to my normal routines.
Someone knocked at the door. I went towards to open it, when it suddenly smashed open. A man with a guard outfit and a sword in his hand stood right in front of me. He saw down at me, then he called two guards to him and they grabbed me. I tried to resist, but the guards were too strong. The streets were empty, except the guards and me. We entered a building that looked like the royal palace guard barracks, even though it was a lot taller and the guards were fewer. “Where are you taking me?!” I asked in anger. “To the warfare prison. You see, we can’t have anyone knowing about what happened in the war. And since you’re the only one alive to tell the tale about Alexandros, the king told us to jail you. Hope you’ll enjoy the stay”. The guard laughed with a laughter cold and rough. It seemed like I was in big trouble. The thoughts were many in my mind, like the ones about why the king didn’t want anybody to know about Alexandros death.
The guard handed me over to a group of five people. They were tall and muscular, as if they had been training for all their life. “Here’s the dumb nut. I hope you’ll take care of him.” “Oh, we will.” They tied my hands together so that I wouldn’t fight back, then they started beating the crap out of me. The hits were like stones, hard and rough at the edge. I endured it for five minutes before I passed out. The last thing I saw was the red fire glowing in their eyes.
“I’ve heard that he’s Alexandros’ brother.” “No, he’s not. He’s just a mere soldier that was one of Alexandros’ squad members. And stop talking about him, it sickens me!” I saw three guys sitting right in front of me. “W… Where am I?” I asked with a voice of an old man. “You’re in the Warfare prison. Its here they put people that knows something about the wars that the king doesn’t want the people to know. You see, there’s a lot more to the war then the people know. What’s your story mate?” it was the guy to the right that had spoken. His voice was though and manly, like the one Alexandros had. “My story? You want me to tell you the story of the last stand of Alexandros? Cause you see, it’s not a pretty one.” My energy was returning, I could feel it by my voice growing stronger, “I’ll tell you if you want to hear it.”
It all started with the Persians going to war. We Greeks and they have never gotten along, but this time it was different. You see, the king had taken the daughter of the Persian king, and given her to the Prince. The Persian king was furious. He couldn’t stand seeing his daughter with the Prince. It was spoken throughout the country about the fact that a war was brewing, and it was brewing fast. I and a few soldiers from Alexandros squad were sent to scout. We were attacked by a Persian squad crawling about. They tortured us for two weeks, until one of us couldn’t stand it. He told him all about the Greek army, and where they all were stationed. After hearing this, the Persians killed him, leaving just three of us left. We were sent to the prison, waiting for a long time. A few days later there was a jail break in one of the upper levels of the prison. We took the advantage and joined it. The two others were caught, but I was lucky. I had hidden me in a bush near the forest. Me and some of the prisoners got into Greece within a few days after the break. I met up with Alexandros and told him everything. He took it quite well actually. “Hah, that just makes the fight even tougher. And that means more killing for us. I’ve been waiting for some real action here for a while.” He seemed abit too over confidante, but we didn’t blame him.
 
Level 7
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Aug 12, 2009
Messages
134
I am sorry, I know that I'm late. :hohum:
Here is the WIP. It's very, very short and It's almost completely descriptive text.
Don't worry, there will be war too. (It's Work in Progress)

WIP nr. 1
- A small part -

... The only man who could help was Captain Peter Jack(as)s. But there was a problem.
Captain Peter Jack(as)s was an idiot… Did I say idiot? Then I was wrong, because he was extremely idiot. This wasn’t a question, this was a fact. He was so idiot, that he became a celebrity not only in the 79th division, but also in the entire Koprulu Sector. He became a legend with his bald egg-head and his DF/A 19 Wraith, which also looked pretty (or very) idiot, because of the huge green bananas painted on it’s wings. But his Wraith and his egg-head weren’t the main and only things which made him idiot. Actually nobody could tell why he was an idiot. There weren’t things which made him an idiot. He was an idiot. Everybody knew it, and this was enough.
So, Captain Jack(as)s was the only man who could help. First of all, they had to find him. This wasn’t a very difficult thing, ‘cause he was always near a bar, so Robert and Anthony hurried to the colonial pub…
 
Level 13
Joined
Oct 31, 2009
Messages
1,481
^

This is an apostrophe: '.

This is an acute accent: ´.

This is a grave accent: `.

As far as I know, acute and grave accents do not exist in the English language. Therefore, you should not use them to replace apostrophes.
 
Level 10
Joined
Jan 24, 2009
Messages
606
he was extremely idiot.

Write this instead: he was extremely idiotic.
Or: He was an extreme idiot

He was so idiot
This sounds better: He was such an idiot.
Or this: He was such idiotic.

which made him idiot
Again... this sounds better: which made him an idiot.
Or: Which made him idiotic.
I would prefer the An Idiot instead of Idiotic.

There weren’t things which made him an idiot
I think that the Which is wrong since "him" is not a subjective. So it should therefor be: There weren't things that made him an idiot.

which also looked pretty (or very) idiot
I think the right term here is Idiotic.

The WiP is way to short to say anything about the story... Thats why I wont.
 
Level 22
Joined
Jul 25, 2009
Messages
3,091
Learn to read threads, the contest requires a minimum of 1,000 pages and a maximum of 5,000 not 10,000 to be brutally honest. I did nothing to invoke a primitive hostile response, and yet that is exactly what I recieve. Trolls.

I have too much time on my hands, and unlike most people who persue it as a hobby, I persue writing as a career. FYI: Writing 1,000 pages doesn't take 1 month... Unless there is something direly wrong with your mind, or you IQ is below functional capacity, or you suck at writing.
 
Level 27
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Jun 23, 2009
Messages
4,787
The minimum is 1000 Words, and the Max is 5000.
Exeptions can be made by contest host.

Also, i'm finally getting my story done. (I work best under pressure! >:D)
Dementia
Zurka swung the axe, the axe hit its target, the target died.
When all the targets were dead, Zurka went home, and Zurka slept.
Then they woke Zurka up, and Zurka swung the axe again.
It had been like that for a long time. Though, it had not been like that always.
Zurka remembered one war, one big war, that he had not just fought in, but led.

He had worn a big, red cape, and his amour were polished, shining in the sun.
His axe were new back then. It was nice and sharp, not rusty.
He stood next to the big catapults. He ordered them to fire, they fired.
The orcs charged towards the enemy, they roared, cheered and shouted. They too had axes.
Axes, swords, spears and maces. All of them made such nice sounds when they hit.
Schling, shplat and crush. Zurka remembered them all too well.

He remembered how he ran into the battle, and swung his axe wildly in the air.
A man parried it with his shield, Zurka pushed him over and cleaved his head in two.
Zurka roared for the catapults to fire, and soon the boulders rained down on the battlefield.
He picked up a discarded spear and threw it at a female archer.
She died swiftly, and Zurka moved on to the next challenger.
“Zurka!” He heard someone shout behind him.
He turned around and saw an old friend, Merrok, running towards him.
“Merrok! Aren't you dead yet?” Zurka yelled back at him, while crushing a enlisted peasent's head under his left boot.
“Sadly not. Great mother earth apparently wishes me to see the end of the day yet again.”
Merrok said while taking position beside Zurka.
Zurka grinned as the peasent died.
“Let us make sure her wish is granted then.” He said, smiling as much as it is possible in the middle of a battle.
He pulled his axe out of yet another corpse and dried the sweat from his forehead with a dry rag.
“Fire!” He yelled once again, and another rain of boulders rained down on the battlefield, applying a few more craters to the scarred land.

For a long time it had continued like that.
The boulders rained down on the battlefield, the enemies kept dying, and neither Zurka or Merrok were hurt.
But of course the humans couldn't fight their battles themselves:
As the orcs got closer and closer to winning, the human commander, Olrik Wolfheart, became more and more desperate.
When Zurka came close enough to him that he could hear the orc's insults, something snapped inside his head.
He made a decision, pulled out a little, mechanical device and said a few words while holding it up towards his lips.
For a few minutes, the battle went on as usual, then the earth started shaking.
Out in the horizon, Zurka saw something that filled him with terror.
Three, enormous beings with the general shape of a human were walking towards the battlefield.

It didn't last long before all of the orcs were staring at the three colossi.
They forgot to fight, and just stood there, staring in awe.
The human army used this as a chance to retreat to a position behind the mechanical giants, and none of the orcs dared follow them in fear of the war machines.
And while the orcs stood there, the colossi slowly came closer and closer.

Then, Zurka made a decision.
“Everyone! Move back to the catapults!
Load the spiked boulders and have someone pour acid over them!”
He yelled, and soon the orcs were running towards the catapults as fast as they could.
“Zurka, won't the acid dissolve the spikes?”
Merrok shouted, confused and still a bit baffled by the colossi.
“Who cares? I don't even know if we HAVE spiked boulders!”
Zurka yelled back.

Soon after, the orcs were stationed at the catapults, each of them loaded and ready to fire.
Then came the wait.
Zurka remembered that wait very well.
It had been horrible, standing there at the catapults, waiting for the colossi to get within firing range.
And a few minutes later, they were.
“Now!” Zurka roared, and the orcs fired the catapults.

The boulders flew through the air, and hit the colossi as a rain of stone.
“Again!” Zurka screamed, getting more and more desperate, since the stones had no apparent effect on the colossi.
Then, Merrok took command.
“Aim for the feet! Trip them!” he yelled, and to Zurka's surprise the orcs obeyed.

First one, then two, and in the end all three of the colossi had fallen over.
Each of them hitting the ground with tremendous force, sending the scattered boulders flying through the air.
Many orcs were killed, but they were victorious.
The orcs had won, and they celebrated their victory.
Though, the battle was not entirely won yet.
While the orcs were fighting the colossi, the human mages had set up a barrier around the human encampment, preventing the battle from continuing.
The orcs could do nothing more than to surround the encampment, and wait.

So they did.

Inside the human encampment, the morale was low, and most of the soldiers were spending what ought to be their last hours of life repeating the words “We're doomed!”.
And within the commander's tent, a heated discussion were in progress.
“We agreed we wouldn't use them! The colossi were there ONLY to scare the orcish scouts!
Have you any idea of how many prisoners we had to kill to get those things walking?”
Falenor, the Second-In-Command of the human army were raging at Olrik.
“And what did we get for doing it! NOTHING!
Now we're trapped, morale is lower than ever AND we have NO hostages to trade for our freedom!”
Olrik weren't listening though.
He were thinking. Possibly harder than anybody else in the human encampment.
And he were thinking fast.
Finally, after letting Falenor yell at him for a few hours, Olrik raised his voice and said
“Spare your words Falenor. The key to victory is simple.”


Constructive critizism please. :)
 
Last edited:
Level 22
Joined
Jul 25, 2009
Messages
3,091
The average novel just to clarify is between 80,000 and 120,00 words long although some books are around 500,000.

Ok dragonson here we go....

Your grammar is fairly bad, but much better than average. You have a tendancy to put "Were" where "Was" belongs like here: He had worn a big, red cape, and his amour >were< polished. There are a few other instances where you did this that elude me now that I attempt to highlight them.

The dialogue is very good (Dialogue is instances when talking is written into the story) Like this I though was very well written: Zurka!” He heard someone shout behind him.
He turned around and saw an old friend, Merrok, running towards him.
“Merrok! Aren't you dead yet?” Zurka yelled back at him, while crushing (a)<(That should be "an" not "a") enlisted peasent's head under his left boot.
“Sadly not. Great mother earth apparently wishes me to see the end of the day yet again.”
Merrok said while taking position beside Zurka.
Zurka grinned as the peasent died.
“Let us make sure her wish is granted then.”

The rest is better than amateur, but not expert... Around apprentice. but everyone starts somewhere 3\5.
 
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