Retarded sayings you've heard

[DurotarLord]

Ok so anyways, this is a thread were you can post any stuiped sayings you've heard. (Remember this isn't a place to flame someone, its just a place to post a humerous saying you've heard). Well guess i might as well start:

Your never truly free to do anything until you've lost everything.

 

[Darkdraak]

Life starts after death. - Quotetags

 

[ragingspeedhorn]

It's better to have 2 birds in the bush than 1 on the roof!

 

[Ralle]

death happens as often as birth. get used to it

 

[Pyrite]

This one is like Speedhorn's one: It's better to have a bird in your hand then a bid overhead.

And: You will always find something in the last flace you look.

 

[brad.dude03]

All that glitters is not gold: it might not be gold, but hell it could be platinum so who cares!

 

[Pyrite]

All that glitters is not gold: it might not be gold, but hell it could be platinum so who cares!

haha true. Platnium is more valuable then gold (but i don't think it's as pretty). Yet the new "gold" is probably uranium-235

 

[ArcticInferno]

Why are we alive when we can be dead? I really want to agree with that.

 

[Bob27]

Why are we alive when we can be dead? I really want to agree with that.

Because we can't be dead until we come allive

 

[DurotarLord]

besides, almost every religion believes that if your dead and you dont believe in that religion your going to hell or a version of it... so by wishing everyone was dead your condeming a minimum billions of people to hell. or if your not religious, you (chances are) have no clue if there even is an afterlife so your condeming billions of people to possibly eternal darkness in solitude.

 

[ArcticInferno]

I don't have a religion lol. Lemme ask you some stuff
"If heat rises, why is hell not cold?"

 

[brad.dude03]

Give a man fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a ma on fire ad he'll be warm for the rest of his life!

I wonder where I got that from?

 

[Healingpoison]

I've heard that quote before

 

[brad.dude03]

Lol you should have

 

[Pyrite]

A Smith & Wesson beats four aces
BTW HealingPoison very nice sig

 

[Shados]

or if your not religious, you (chances are) have no clue if there even is an afterlife so your condeming billions of people to possibly eternal darkness in solitude.

That makes it sound like all the atheists and agnostics in the world are ignorant, which I'm assuming for at least some of them is not true. It's not that they have no clue if there's an afterlife, it's that they say there isn't one. And you wouldn't be spending an eternity in darkness, you'd simply cease to exist as a mind, as even an eternal darkness is an afterlife.

-*meow*

 

[DurotarLord]

actually a lot of atheists believe there is some sort of an afterlife, and they have no clue what it is. thats not ignorance. thats asking a question that is impossible to answer. That would be like saying "compute 8905783491751987503418573058 * 3041973573908 = ? in your head in under 3 seconds. 1...2...3... times up. u fail. ur ignorant".

 

[Shados]

"Atheism is the state either of being without theistic beliefs, or of actively disbelieving in the existence of deities."

Therefore they do not beleive in any afterlife and/or gods.

"Agnosticism asserts no knowledge of gods and therefore concludes there are no reasons to believe in them or not to believe in them. An agnostic follows this credo and differs from the atheist who has developed an active belief that there are no gods."

Even agnostics do not beleive in an afterlife, they just don't disbeleive in one either.

-*meow*

 

[DurotarLord]

ok for once id like to stay on topic, but i guess thats not gonna happen.
1. it means they dont believe in gods, but ive heard atheists ponder an afterlife before. not all do, but some do. u cant possibly say that every atheist doesnt.
2. wat on earth does agnostics have to do with this?!

 

[ArcticInferno]

It takes 62 Muscles to frown,
And 17 to Smile(That's why smile!),
But it takes 0 for you to have a dumb look on your face.(It's the most relaxed)

(300th Post lies here) WEeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

 

[Pyrite]

It takes 62 Muscles to frown,
And 17 to Smile(That's why smile!),
But it takes 0 for you to have a dumb look on your face.(It's the most relaxed)

I believe it's 13 to frown, 12 to smile

I found a funny Murphy's Law poster with really great sayings. Of those I remember:
-The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncomming train.
-When you show the appliance to a repairman, it will work perfectly.
-If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

 

[brad.dude03]

Yeah I seen a really great Murphies law poster in the States during the summer. Here's my favourite one: Anything good in life is either immoral, ilegal or fattening.

 

[Pyrite]

Yes that one i remember seeing too!

 

[brad.dude03]

Heh, I remember the last one on the poster says: Murphy was an optimist. lol!

 

[Pyrite]

optimist HA! lol.

 

[brad.dude03]

Yeah, no kidding, eh

 

[Ralle]

give a man fire and he'll be warm for the night, put a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life...

 

[brad.dude03]

Hehe, already said it Ralle.

 

[Pyrite]

On that particular topic of sayings:
Give a man to fish and he'll be full for a day, teach a man to fish and he'll never be hungry...Fish gets boring after a while

 

[DurotarLord]

or teach a man how to order a pizza and tell him to beg for money in some californian city (where the average beggar makes 600-1000 dollars a week!) and he can survive the rest of his life.

 

[Deckboy]

Here are some:

An actess on why she eats chicken but not cows:
"Chicken's aren't animals"

"If aliens came and abducted us, could I still eat mustard?"

Some guy on why he was wearing a flannel shirt for "era day" at my school:
"I'm from the Lumberjack Era."

Kid I know. . .
"Every or 5 out of 2 people have trouble with fractions! . . .wait. . ."

"I think that the arabs are really planning a secret attack on Canada, and are going to enslave the Mexican Emperor."

I laughed so hard when I heard the last one.

More to come. . .

-Deck

 

[DurotarLord]

lol, the last one is classic.

 

[brad.dude03]

Yeah, cuz Canada is run by the Mexicans and we have an emperor XD

 

[Deckboy]

As promised, a few more, not much time, but I'll rattle a few off. . .

"The romans were directly influenced by the American Indians."

"If the tooth fairy gives you a quarter, kick her in the shins."

Me (in regards to playing videogames 24-7)
"When the zombies come, I'll be in high demand. . ."

More to come. . .

-Deck

 

[DurotarLord]

rofl, if this were a contest deckboy would have already won.

 

[Deckboy]

I swear I'm surrounded by morons. . .

"If curiosity killed the cat, than my truck tire's name is Curiosity."

A conversation between one of my teachers and a fellow student.

Teacher:"Be quiet."
Student:"Why."
Teacher:"Because I don't want to hear your voice."
Student:"But I was saying stuff. . ."

Heh, I had to scribble that down on paper after he said that. . .

More later. . .

-Deck

 

[DurotarLord]

question, was the first one about curiosity based on actual events with someone you knew? or was it just a saying you heard?

 

[Deckboy]

That one was said by a certain freshman in my school. My teacher(the same one as mentioned in the other one) laughed and wrote it on the board. I recently walked into class, and when I saw it, was reminded of this forum so I wrote it down to post here. The freshman may have gotten it from somewhere else, I don't know.

-Deck

 

[DurotarLord]

high school i assume, correct? if thats the case then he obviously got it elsewhere since he's not old enough to drive legally. you generally dont brag to a teacher in school that you drove over a cat before your supposed to even be old enough to have your learners.

 

[Deckboy]

You must understand that in the USA you only have to be 16 to drive. . .

Here's a quote by me(sad I know):
"Halfway through Thursday, it's Friday."

(I couldn't believe I said that - but in my defense it was 6:00 AM and I was running on two hours of sleep)

And one of my favorites.

A kid trying to tell a joke:
Kid:"Hey, why was eighteen afraid of seventeen?"
Me:"I dunno."
Kid:"Because seventeen, eighteen, nineteen. . .wait, I think I told that wrong."

I'm sure most of you have heard the original joke.
(Because seven, eight/[ate], nine)

-Deck

 

[DurotarLord]

wow, i cant believe it but i actually loled when i read that second one.

deckboy, where do you get all these from?!

 

[brad.dude03]

XD hey, they're pretty good. Deck seems to have a knack for these kinds of things

 

[Deckboy]

Alright. . .I have returned to revive this thread-once again.

1)
[HyperKinetic] They ate each other, they moaned. They were zombies

some guy on online chat.

2)once you go black; you dont go back
once you eat a cat; you want to mack

(I'm not really sure WHAT'S going on in the second one)

-Deck