• 🏆 Texturing Contest #33 is OPEN! Contestants must re-texture a SD unit model found in-game (Warcraft 3 Classic), recreating the unit into a peaceful NPC version. 🔗Click here to enter!
  • It's time for the first HD Modeling Contest of 2024. Join the theme discussion for Hive's HD Modeling Contest #6! Click here to post your idea!

Is this a good story

Status
Not open for further replies.
Level 1
Joined
Sep 23, 2019
Messages
2
I have a story outline idea for a campaign and would like feedback on it so here it is

Form the begin the Lunaitms have been the wardens of Ulia now there are call on once again for the only entrance for the world the void gate had open once more.

· Void gate opens a party of human come through and a party of Lunaitms watch them form secret

· The king of the Lunaitms order them in prison

· The party confronts the human and in prison them there to fun out why they have entered Ulia.

· The humans try to break out but fail

· The human King Arthur ask for asylum and tell why there are running

· This info is sent to the King who orders them kill and the gate destroy

· They order are ignored and Arthur is sent to the Maiden of Ulia and the Lunar well

· The maiden performs a ritual with the Lunar well to see the if Arthur story is true

· The maiden tells Arthur about her concerns about the king and give him the sword Duskwoe to help her

· The King founds out and order the maiden in prisoned and the sword recovered

· In his “madness” the King try to awaken the bound immortals to free them of the threat the humans were righting

· Arthur and the maiden stop him

· The maiden finds out the King was right and is force to destroy the gate
 
Level 2
Joined
Sep 22, 2019
Messages
6
Regarding your title I think any story has the potential to be "good" since it's completely subjective to the person and how they experience it. Thus I'll be a bit more general here with my suggestions applied to your plot.

2 general rules of thumb I've found really help me write;

#1: Ask why.
In your synopsis I see things happening but I don't generally see why they are. Why is the King so hostile of these visitors? Why do they try to escape before asking for help from the king? Why was the king right to oppose them like the maidens later finds out?

#2: Characters should be the centre of the story and drive the plot, not be driven around by it:
In general I find that characters are always more interesting than most of the actual plot is. I suggest you start by giving the characters (besides the king), names, figure out why they do what they do in the plot and try to characterise them. You can then try to weave it in to the story in some way. If Arthur is mad, how is he mad, and why? Is it perhaps related to the new portal that opened? Who's the leader of the human visitors? What's s/he like? Why's s/he their leader? And so on.
 
Level 1
Joined
Sep 23, 2019
Messages
2
Thanks for the advice. This was just a story that up into my head and I made a outline for it and just wanted to get the basic down before I lost it and is open to changed if parts don't fit
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top