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Funny Jokes!
- Status
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2008
- Messages
- 1,039
What did the bear do when he saw a maggot?
Fly away.
Fly away.
- Joined
- Aug 30, 2008
- Messages
- 32
where can you find weirdoes that hate anime and the mods suck cock?
the HIVE!
the HIVE!
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2007
- Messages
- 3,669
I'm pretty sure "the mods suck cock" isn't a noun.
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2006
- Messages
- 2,216
Your mother is so dumb that she uses two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
- Joined
- Jun 4, 2007
- Messages
- 1,480
Two tomatoes where crossing the street. One of them stumbled on a rock and fell. When he saw a car aproaching he quickly got up and hurried to the other side. When he was back in safety his friend said:
- Oh for fuck sake! Now you ruined the joke!!!
- Oh for fuck sake! Now you ruined the joke!!!
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2009
- Messages
- 1,740
A joke
Your Momma is so ugly her birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
Your Momma is so ugly her birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
- Joined
- Jun 4, 2007
- Messages
- 1,480
I don't get the point with those "YoMomma" jokes.
Seriously, what's fun about insulting people's mums?
"Your Momma is so fat she can't jump on the moon!"
Seriously, what's fun about insulting people's mums?
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2007
- Messages
- 250
hahahahahahaha!
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- Apr 12, 2008
- Messages
- 3,381
Pretty True and funny. AHAH HAA HAHAHA AHAA!!
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2007
- Messages
- 3,669
Also, you need to capitalize the first letter of each sentence and of proper nouns, including, but not limited to, the proper pronoun "I". And, to be quite honest, one exclamation point and one question mark would have sufficed. Furthermore, the bold seems to be an unnecessary addition, as people usually add bolded text to add emphasis on a certain part of their post, whereas you have added it to the only part of your post. If you wished to add harshness to your words, like I said before, the single exclamation point and question mark would have sufficed. But that's just my opinion.
Yes, I know I am using sentence fragments.
- Joined
- May 30, 2007
- Messages
- 2,872
AAAAAAAA! XD
Caps.
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2006
- Messages
- 2,216
Your mother is so fat that when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck.
Deleted member 157129
D
Deleted member 157129
Meh, here's a QA-Joke:
Q: What is the only way to keep your money from the casinos in Las Vegas?
A: When you get off the plane, walk into the propellers.
Q: What is the only way to keep your money from the casinos in Las Vegas?
A: When you get off the plane, walk into the propellers.
- Joined
- Jun 4, 2007
- Messages
- 1,480
Toilet paper is a bit cheaper to.
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2006
- Messages
- 2,216
Two men walk into a bar, one wearing a cowboy hat and the other wearing a Yankees cap. The guy in the Yankees cap approaches the bartender and make a bet: "I'll bet you $1,000 that I can put a shot glass at one end of your bar and piss into it from the other end of the bar without spilling a drop."
The bartender laughs and says, "You're crazy, but you're on."
The man positions a shot glass on one end, walks to the other end and unzips his fly. He then pisses everywhere -- all over the walls, over the bar top, all over the bottles of booze, and all over the bartender. The bartender roars with laughter and tells the man to pay up.
The guy in the Yankees cap pays up, laughing and smiling, too.
"What are you smiling at?" asks the bartender. "You just lost $1,000!"
"Well, you see that guy in the cowboy hat over there crying? Before we came in, I bet him $10,000 that I could piss all over your bar, your walls, your liquor AND you, and not only would you not be mad -- you would laugh hysterically about it!"
The bartender laughs and says, "You're crazy, but you're on."
The man positions a shot glass on one end, walks to the other end and unzips his fly. He then pisses everywhere -- all over the walls, over the bar top, all over the bottles of booze, and all over the bartender. The bartender roars with laughter and tells the man to pay up.
The guy in the Yankees cap pays up, laughing and smiling, too.
"What are you smiling at?" asks the bartender. "You just lost $1,000!"
"Well, you see that guy in the cowboy hat over there crying? Before we came in, I bet him $10,000 that I could piss all over your bar, your walls, your liquor AND you, and not only would you not be mad -- you would laugh hysterically about it!"
Deleted member 157129
D
Deleted member 157129
A guy walks into a bar looking frustrated. The bartender asks, "What's the matter?"
The guy replies, "Well I've got these two horses and I can't tell them apart. I don't know if I'm mixing up riding times or even feeding them the right foods."
The bartender suggests, "Why don't you try shaving the tail of one of the horses?"
The guy says, "That sounds like a good idea, I think I'll try it."
A few months later, he returns to the bar in worse condition. "I shaved the tail of one of the horses, but it grew back and I can't tell them apart again!"
The bartender says, "Why don't you try shaving the mane?"
A few months later the guy is back. "I shaved the mane of one of the horses, but it grew back!"
The bartender yells, "Just measure the damn horses. Perhaps one is slightly taller that the other one!" The guy storms out of the bar.
The next day, the guy runs into the bar. "It worked, it worked!" he exclaims. "I measured the horses, and the black one is two inches taller than the white one!"
The guy replies, "Well I've got these two horses and I can't tell them apart. I don't know if I'm mixing up riding times or even feeding them the right foods."
The bartender suggests, "Why don't you try shaving the tail of one of the horses?"
The guy says, "That sounds like a good idea, I think I'll try it."
A few months later, he returns to the bar in worse condition. "I shaved the tail of one of the horses, but it grew back and I can't tell them apart again!"
The bartender says, "Why don't you try shaving the mane?"
A few months later the guy is back. "I shaved the mane of one of the horses, but it grew back!"
The bartender yells, "Just measure the damn horses. Perhaps one is slightly taller that the other one!" The guy storms out of the bar.
The next day, the guy runs into the bar. "It worked, it worked!" he exclaims. "I measured the horses, and the black one is two inches taller than the white one!"
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2008
- Messages
- 2,622
shiiK, i love that joke, ive heard it alot, 
A new joke:
A guy walks into a bar and goes up to me, Im a wig wam! Im a TP! im a Wig Wam! Im a tp!
I said relax man, your to tense.
A new joke:
A guy walks into a bar and goes up to me, Im a wig wam! Im a TP! im a Wig Wam! Im a tp!
I said relax man, your to tense.
a wig wam and a tp is a tent type, and by tense, he also means that he is two tents!
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2006
- Messages
- 2,216
Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.
A: They take the psycho path.
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2008
- Messages
- 2,622
a WoW joke:
The Priest said to his fellow Disciples, "i shall grant you great salvation", The disciples looked angry and said "Give us k1ngs n00b!"
more:
PvP joke : What does the warrior say to the mage? Trick question. The mage is dead
GM joke ; How many GM's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, Its working as intended.
"Your momma is so fat is takes 5 warlocks to summon her"
How many Gnomes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
1001.
One to change it, the other thousand to radiate the entire building.
Why did the Murloc cross the street?
Because another Murloc was attacked on the other side of the city.
Your mom's so ugly, I had to use [Track Beasts] to find her.
Your momma's so fat that mages have to grease their portals and conjure cinnamon rolls on the other side to get her through.
Where are troggs from? New York City, they're fat, loud, hairy, unintelligible and all around an annoyance.
Q: How many rogues does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One to actually screw in the lightbulb, and 999 on the forums claiming they could've done it better.
Q: What do you call a gnome mage?
A: Minibar.
Q: Why dont warriors get their weapons enchanted with int?
A: They dont want their weapons to be smarter then they are
What would you call a tauren Paladin..
Holy Cow
The doctor called me and said I only have 6 months left to live. I said, "That's terrible! Isn't there anything I can do?"
He said, "Well, you can get a WoW account and farm rep in Silithus."
I said, "Will that help?"
He said, "No, but it'll be the longest 6 months you've ever lived."
How many GMs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Sorry, can't tell you. That would be considered a hint.
Yo momma's so fat, [Chain Lightning] hit her THREE TIMES!
Yo Voidwalker so fat, you have to sacrifice him in segments....
The Priest said to his fellow Disciples, "i shall grant you great salvation", The disciples looked angry and said "Give us k1ngs n00b!"
more:
PvP joke : What does the warrior say to the mage? Trick question. The mage is dead
GM joke ; How many GM's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, Its working as intended.
"Your momma is so fat is takes 5 warlocks to summon her"
How many Gnomes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
1001.
One to change it, the other thousand to radiate the entire building.
Why did the Murloc cross the street?
Because another Murloc was attacked on the other side of the city.
Your mom's so ugly, I had to use [Track Beasts] to find her.
Your momma's so fat that mages have to grease their portals and conjure cinnamon rolls on the other side to get her through.
Where are troggs from? New York City, they're fat, loud, hairy, unintelligible and all around an annoyance.
Q: How many rogues does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One to actually screw in the lightbulb, and 999 on the forums claiming they could've done it better.
Q: What do you call a gnome mage?
A: Minibar.
Q: Why dont warriors get their weapons enchanted with int?
A: They dont want their weapons to be smarter then they are
What would you call a tauren Paladin..
Holy Cow
The doctor called me and said I only have 6 months left to live. I said, "That's terrible! Isn't there anything I can do?"
He said, "Well, you can get a WoW account and farm rep in Silithus."
I said, "Will that help?"
He said, "No, but it'll be the longest 6 months you've ever lived."
How many GMs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Sorry, can't tell you. That would be considered a hint.
Yo momma's so fat, [Chain Lightning] hit her THREE TIMES!
Yo Voidwalker so fat, you have to sacrifice him in segments....
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2008
- Messages
- 720
My country 40% of people are Russians so listen our country joke:
4 People were flying in a plane...
1st one was Englishman
2nd one was Latvian
3rd one was German
4th one was Russian
(An Englishman thrown a barrel of expensive beer out of the plane)
Latvian: Why did you do that?
Englishman: Don't worry, we have a lot of those in our country.
(A German thrown out a bottle of expensive vine out of the plane)
Latvian: Why did you do that?
German: Don't worry, we have a lot of these in Germany.
(A Russian thrown out a bottle of expensive Vodka)
Latvian: Why did you do that?
Russian: Don't worry, we have alot of those in Russia.
(At last, Latvian throws out The Russian!)
Both Englishman & German: Why the hell did you do that!?
Latvian: Don't worry, we have alot of Russian people in our country...
(No offence to Russians xD)
4 People were flying in a plane...
1st one was Englishman
2nd one was Latvian
3rd one was German
4th one was Russian
(An Englishman thrown a barrel of expensive beer out of the plane)
Latvian: Why did you do that?
Englishman: Don't worry, we have a lot of those in our country.
(A German thrown out a bottle of expensive vine out of the plane)
Latvian: Why did you do that?
German: Don't worry, we have a lot of these in Germany.
(A Russian thrown out a bottle of expensive Vodka)
Latvian: Why did you do that?
Russian: Don't worry, we have alot of those in Russia.
(At last, Latvian throws out The Russian!)
Both Englishman & German: Why the hell did you do that!?
Latvian: Don't worry, we have alot of Russian people in our country...
(No offence to Russians xD)
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2008
- Messages
- 3,351
A man and a woman decide to honeymoon in an exotic land. In their desire to make it a memorable trip, they put their heads together and plan everything diligently. They decide to buy first class plane tickets, book in the most luxurious hoetl, buy smart but comfortable traveling clothes, and ready sizable amount in cash and traveler's checks.
At the airport, thy double-check each item on their list, making sure that they have not overlooked anything.
"Do we have all our luggage?" asks the man.
"Yes," replies the woman.
"How about the tickets?"
"I have them right here."
"Cash and checkbook?"
"I've got those, too."
The man sighs with relief. Suddenly, his face falls. It has dawned on him that thy had forgotten the most important thing of all.
Oblivious to his mood, the woman places her arms around him and whispers, "Honey, I'm sure we will have a wonderful honeymoon."
"I don't think so."
"Why not, dear?"
"We forgot to get married."
LOL
At the airport, thy double-check each item on their list, making sure that they have not overlooked anything.
"Do we have all our luggage?" asks the man.
"Yes," replies the woman.
"How about the tickets?"
"I have them right here."
"Cash and checkbook?"
"I've got those, too."
The man sighs with relief. Suddenly, his face falls. It has dawned on him that thy had forgotten the most important thing of all.
Oblivious to his mood, the woman places her arms around him and whispers, "Honey, I'm sure we will have a wonderful honeymoon."
"I don't think so."
"Why not, dear?"
"We forgot to get married."
LOL
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2007
- Messages
- 250
"Your momma is so fat is takes 5 warlocks to summon her"
What would you call a tauren Paladin..
Holy Cow
Q: What do you call a gnome mage?
A: Minibar.
Following are pure awesomness
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2007
- Messages
- 3,669
Q: What's worse than ten babies in a dumpster?
A: One baby in ten dumpsters.
Q: What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoes off before you jump on the trampoline.
Q: What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?
A: An erection.
A: One baby in ten dumpsters.
Q: What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoes off before you jump on the trampoline.
Q: What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?
A: An erection.
- Joined
- Mar 25, 2006
- Messages
- 796
[Self-made awesome joke] A guy walks into a bar and calls the waiter saying: Might I get one of your finest half-full glass of water. The waiter replies: Ofcourse! After a couple of minutes the waiter returns and places a half-empty glass of water. The man is traumatized with the bad service and leaves.
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2006
- Messages
- 2,307
A doctor is walking home from work one day, after his car broke down. Out of nowhere, his conscious starts talking to him. You've been a bad boy. The doctor replies "What, what did I do?!" You slept with one of your patients. "So, lots of doctors do that." Yeah but you're a fucking veterinarian.
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2007
- Messages
- 557
another self made joke:
The control center to the norwegian pilot: What is your position?
Norwegian: I am in the cockpit of the plane.
If you keep with those swedish jokes I will keep up with the norwegian jokes! xD
PS: Whould somebody edit Slaydon's post (Above) because he is just lying. A swedish person whould never be that dumb.
The control center to the norwegian pilot: What is your position?
Norwegian: I am in the cockpit of the plane.
If you keep with those swedish jokes I will keep up with the norwegian jokes! xD
PS: Whould somebody edit Slaydon's post (Above) because he is just lying. A swedish person whould never be that dumb.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2008
- Messages
- 1,803
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2008
- Messages
- 270
Your mom is so big and fat, Dora cant even explore her.
The Devil takes 4 of his prisoners into the hell woods to put them to a test. If they succeed in the test, they will be sent to heaven.
Devil: Ok.. I want all 4 of you to go into the woods, and each get me a couple of fruits or vegetables.
The First man returns with apples...
Devil: Good. Now shove them up your a$$, if you make a painful face, you will stay.
The First man begins to shove, but quickly feels pain, and stays in hell.
The Second man returns with Pears, but feels the pain of the test and stays as well.
The Third man comes with grapes... but as he is shoving them up his a$$, he begins to laugh.
Devil: Why are you laughing...
Third Man: *laughing hard* Its cause the last guy is coming with pineapples!
The Devil takes 4 of his prisoners into the hell woods to put them to a test. If they succeed in the test, they will be sent to heaven.
Devil: Ok.. I want all 4 of you to go into the woods, and each get me a couple of fruits or vegetables.
The First man returns with apples...
Devil: Good. Now shove them up your a$$, if you make a painful face, you will stay.
The First man begins to shove, but quickly feels pain, and stays in hell.
The Second man returns with Pears, but feels the pain of the test and stays as well.
The Third man comes with grapes... but as he is shoving them up his a$$, he begins to laugh.
Devil: Why are you laughing...
Third Man: *laughing hard* Its cause the last guy is coming with pineapples!
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2009
- Messages
- 1,740
YO momma is so fat, if you see her drivers licence, on the bottom of the picture it says continued on the other side.
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