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Eternal Glory -Chapter I-

Submitted by Athoar
This bundle is marked as approved. It works and satisfies the submission rules.
This is the introduction / first chapter of Eternal Glory cinematic series.

Eternal Glory is the story of two brothers, Galdor and Kelendras Stardragon, that have been called to serve in the imperial army, fighting against the undead.

I hope I will upload the 2nd chapter soon.

Enjoy it!

...Other thing, sorry if my english is not very well, I'm spanish.

Keywords:
eternal glory, kelendras, galdor, stardragon, cinematic series
Contents

Eternal Glory -Chapter I- (Map)

Reviews
Moderator
16:43, 6th Apr 2009 by bounty hunter2: A cinematic lacking better terrain, dialog, storyline, however having potential for evolvement thus, Approved with a 2/5 (Lacking) rating. You can find my full review Here.
  1. 16:43, 6th Apr 2009 by bounty hunter2:
    A cinematic lacking better terrain, dialog, storyline, however having potential for evolvement thus, Approved with a 2/5 (Lacking) rating.

    You can find my full review Here.
     
  2. Zelda.Alex

    Zelda.Alex

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    Eternal Glory

    1.....Some minor introduction to the story on the loading screen is always good
    2.....The sound of the 2 boys attacking each other was present for the whole time before they were shown. It should start only after the hose is shown.
    3.....It will be nice if you ask someone to correct the spelling mistakes. You don't want the cinematic to be spoiled by some mistakes.
    4.....The movement of the 2 boys out of the door needs some improvement
    5.....The map description at the place where i choose maps says "Cinematic". A bit change perhaps like "Intro Cinematic" or something better
    6.....The soldier says about hearing something. There was no sound to be heard at that point.
    7.....I have to say an odd choice of the loading screen. Is that due to the later story?
    8.....I saw rabbit in the initial 2 scenes. At such place?
    9.....The motion of the meat wagons in the 2nd scene can be improved
    10.....The camera movement was through walls in case of the undead place. Same goes for the
    house scene
    11.....When the lich is shown then once there is a flash that turns everything purple
    something
    12.....For making the houses square walls have been used i guess. Because i was able to see the difference slightly giving me this impression.
    13.....Was there a web attached to the chair?
    14.....When the camera turns to face the wall towards the 2 boys then the light became high for one moment
    15.....The movement of women is fast in the scene after 2 days
    16.....It would be better if the bandits were not shown when the soldier says about hearing something. Otherwise there is no suspense
    17.....When bandits are moving then the camera shows the hill on which they were standing.
    It will be better if they were shown moving
    18.....Line space between the carious contributions in credits will be nice.

    My Rating : 3/5 & Vote For Approval
     
  3. bounty hunter2

    bounty hunter2

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    bounty hunter2's Review on Eternal Glory -Chapter I-

    Rules

    Proper resource crediting
    Proper description
    Proper author name
    Doesn't crash


    **Spoiler Alert!**

    Eternal Glory -Chapter I- is a cinematic such as many others that deals with the concerns of war. Two brothers are needed in an army to fight the vile creatures who are threating a kingdom. Their parents disagree however they must go, telling to their parents everything will be allright. Will it?

    First of all, don't ever mass units and use wind. It will cause huge amounts of lag just as it did on my computer. And what were the birds doing on the barren territory. The bunny aswell, I didn't see the fitting at all. Aswell as the sudden meteor, what was that for? Cool? Not really.

    The terrain wasn't much. The barrens and the dead trees didn't seem to fit. The swamps lacked trees better then Ashenvale ones, aswell as lily pads and every other dodoad that belongs to the swamp. More rocks and shrubery. When the camera panned to the temple there were a lot of floating corpses. Then the camera went through a wall or two that should be fixed.

    The terrain around the house was just plain ugly. Flat areas and trees, too much dirt tile and not one dodoad. The house had no windows, it seemed more as a prison then a house. The indoor was too cold, lacking more inside props to make it feel like someone is actually living there. And the camera went through the wall and the door, that should be avoided since it looks ugly. On the end there were a lot of floating trees.

    I was surprised with the cameras since they were quite fluid. They weren't to fast, either to slow, and you changed the angles enough times. Good job here.

    There were some typos: It's calm down, not just calm. And on English you don't need two questions marks like in Spanish, only one on the end of the sentence. (PS: I learn Spanish :p) It's not the undeads, its the undead, it has no plural. We must arrive to the city, not we must arrive the city.

    Other then that, I can't add much, the cinematic isn't original, atleast not much. You could and should develop it into more, as the story evolves. Don't take this to harsh, rather use it to improve your skills. You should also include some screenshots with your submission and should use VBulletin tags to make it look all nice and clean.

    You have some potential, keep it up, Approved with a 2/5 (Lacking) rating.

    PS: Zelda has written some useful tips aswell, don't forget to read that aswell!
     
  4. Murcky

    Murcky

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    even though the 2 reviews turned out bad...im gonna watch it anyways :p
     
  5. bounty hunter2

    bounty hunter2

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    This reviews, atleast not mine, isn't in the purpose of telling your average downloader is the map good or bad, it is but in a small measure. The main purpose is to help the author improve, thus you shouldn't base your opinion on them. Glad you decided to watch it :p
     
  6. Rui

    Rui

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    My review on "Eternal Glory - Chapter I"

    I didn't find the cinematic very interesting.

    First, there were a couple of bugs with the house, mainly the camera going through the door and the walls disappearing. When units enter, they will also put their arms or weapons through the door.

    The terrain wasn't very interesting either. Grass in Warcraft III doesn't look good.

    Then the story. I found it simple, lacking. The end doesn't leave you waiting for the next episode either.

    My rating is 2/5 (Lacking).
     
  7. Zelda.Alex

    Zelda.Alex

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    Murcky i told you once before & i will tell you once again that the reviews are for the author. So that he can improve. That does not mean that the cinematic is bad.
     
  8. matmat01

    matmat01

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    The plot is too common. That is the only thing I will say. I didn't watched the cinematic at all. And what did the brothers do to make the imperial army recruit them? Did they proved something before? Did they killed a dragon or whatever by themselves? Who the hell spread the news? Did someone saw them? How did that news reached the king? Maybe an introduction will do the job. Or make some flashback scenes.