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English help is needed!

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Hey there.

I'm looking for people who could make following spell descriptions better. You can freely use your imagination. Let's try to make these spell descriptions epic! Credits + rep will be given. Also remember to ask a picture about the spell if needed.

Remember that you don't need to do all the spells right way, instead you can just edit one spell.

Here is an example of good spell description:

Avatar - Fighting with his hammer has trained Phodom's body well. His strength is unmatched and his power is incredible. But that is not all - during the many years of his fighting, Phodom has achieved complete mastery of his body. Because of that Phodom can truly push his body to the limits for a short duration, gaining even more power than he already has. For 10 seconds the strength of Phodom can be increased by 15 points and he will be enlarged by 30%.

=== PHODOM ===

(Edited by peterrab)
Shield Of Fire - Phodom, his control of fire being so great, can reverse the flame's destructive tendency to his will and instead commands it to use it's energy to restore either his own or an ally's vital life force. The shield of flames he forms also protects its target from harm, the flames incinerating any weapon that tries to break through. Heals Phodom's or a targeted friendly unit's hit points and gives 8 extra armor for 10 seconds.

(Edited by peterrab)
Flame Explosion - Phodom exhibits his mastery of the element of fire and unleashes a burning maelstrom of burning flames around himself, scorching nearby enemy units with intense heat and stunning them for 2 seconds as they attempt to put out the deadly fire.

(Edited by peterrab)
Meltdown - Phodom's skill with fire is so great, he can torch his opponent's armour, even if it is made of steel or iron. No matter what material the armour was, nothing but dust in left in it's place. He fires out an immense blast of flame, roasting opponents and reducing their defense rate by 4 for 10 seconds.

(Edited by VGAura)
Fire Attack - By combing his mastery of fire and weapons, Phodom is capable of imbuing his weapons with searing flames. The scorching heat of his weapon's steel enables him to cut through enemies with much greater ease as well as burn the flesh of those struck by its power. As this skill increases in strength, so does the intensity with which the fire burns.

(Edited by VGAura)
Impact Flare - Phodom charges his weapon with the element of fire and brings it down upon his foe. Upon impact, a great deal of fire energy in his weapon is released, unleashing a powerful burst of flames that strikes a foe with so much force, it leaves the victim stunned for 3 seconds.



=== FRADZ ===

(Edited by Asomath)
Speedy Boost(aura) - Fradz can, for 15 seconds, send a surge of rejuvenating electricity into the muscles of his allies. This electricity energizes one to the point in which their agility is beyond their normal limits and the rate at which they run and attack are increased. The energy also increases the rate at which blood is pumped throughout the body, closing wounds quicker and regenerating mental integrity.

(Edited by Asomath)
Bless Of Lightning(aura) - Lightning is a powerful element. One imbued with its power will feel a surge of energy throughout their body. The awesome power can be used to increase the rate at which wounds recover, as well as rejuvenating the mind after the use of abilities. Over-time, a quarter of the user’s life-energy is regained. The power can also radiate outwards for approximately 15 seconds, increasing the speed, strength, and mental integrity of those who surround the user by 25, as well as helping to shield allies and reduce damage taken, increasing his allies armor by 5.

(Edited by Asomath)
Invisible Strike - Just as Fradz can control the energy of lightning, and shape it into his needs, so can he manipulate other forms of smaller energy. By controlling the energy found in the magnetic and electric fields of visible light, he can bend it around himself, forming a type of invisibility. The energy of the field energizes him, boosting his speed by 110%. When he begins to strike an enemy, all of the energy of the field that surrounds him is infused with his weapon, destroying the cloaking field, and dealing a crushing 500 bonus damage.

(Edited by Asomath)
Lightning Attack - One imbued with the element of lightning can occasionally, as he swings to strike an enemy, concentrate energy into his weapon. Then, as the weapon falls, a surge of electricity enters the opponent, dealing devastating damage. This powerful moment only occurs once in every ten strikes.

(Edited by Asomath)
Lightning Orb - Concentrated elemental spheres have long been heralds of damage and destruction for the elements. Fradz knowledge in the arts of the element of lightning has allowed him the ability to call upon the immortal orbs of lightning to strike down his enemies.

(Edited by Asomath)
Hydro Shell(aura) - Fradz gathers water from his surroundings, from a lake, the air, or even from life itself. Using the element he can shield his allies, dispersing an attacker’s energy throughout the liquid. The energy is then re-concentrated, and shot back at the enemy, dealing potent damage.

(Edited by ap0calypse)
Flash Strike - Running on lightning is one of Fradz' unique abilities, he is able to control lightning under his feet so he can move about a hundred times faster than usual and it enables Fradz to hit nearby enemies 5 times.

(Edited by ap0calypse)
Teleport Strike - Fradz becomes as fast as lightning itself, making him able to hit nearby enemy units 12 times at an extreme speed, Fradz is the only one known to be able to move at this rate, since nobody else can follow his movements, he cannot be hit, making him invulnerable.

(Edited by A mystery guy from shadows)
Vein Of Gold(passive) - Fradz, having done some freelance thieving before becoming a dragon slayer, knows that the need for gold is always dire. Using his thievery skills, he knows where people hide their most valuable possessions, the jewels they carry night and day. Searching the bodies of his foes with no fear of getting his hands dirty, Fradz finds X% more gold from monsters at all times.



=== GALEOTH ===

(Edited by Rakdos,Defiler)
Frozen Paradise - Galeoth lowers the temperature down of everything down to absolute zero freezing everything then releases energy in the ice to send masses of icy explosions out firing shards of ice in all directions. Freezes all Foes for 10 seconds and deals incredible damage.
 
Last edited:
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Flame Explosion - Phodom exhibits his mastery of the element of fire and unleashes a burning maelstrom of burning flames around himself, scorching nearby enemy units with intense heat and stunning them for 2 seconds as they attempt to put out the deadly fire.

Meltdown - Phodom's skill with fire is so great, he can torch his opponent's armour, even if it is made of steel or iron. No matter what material the armour was, nothing but dust in left in it's place. He fires out an immense blast of flame, roasting opponents and reducing their defense rate by 4 for 10 seconds.

Shield Of Fire - Phodom, his control of fire being so great, can reverse the flame's destructive tendancy to his will and instead commands it to use it's energy to restore an ally's vital life force. The shield of flames he forms around the friendly unit also protects it from harm, the flames incinerating any weapon that tries to break through. Heals a targeted friendly unit's hit points and gives 8 extra armor for 10 seconds.
 
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=== GALEOTH ===

Frozen Paradise
- An ice explosion errupts around Galeoth dealing damage and freezing nearby enemy units for 10 seconds.

Galeoth unleashes a nova of ice around him, dealing x damage and flash-freezing all affected units for 10 seconds.

=== FRADZ ===

Lightning Attack - Every time you attack an enemy you have a 10% chance to cause lightning damage to your enemy.
Fradz has a 10% chance on every attack that he'll unleash a bolt of lightning to deciminate his foe. Deals x damage.
 
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My native language isn't English, but I'll give it a shot ^^

=== GALEOTH ===

Frozen Paradise
By freezing the air and all water in the environment around him, Galeoth expands the water particles around him, creating a highly compressed amount of energy within the particles, which are on the edge to burst.
The water in the air then expands at a rapid rate, making the frozen environment discharge into an icy explosion, the ice particles instantly freeze anything it touches,
freezing all nearby enemy units for 10 seconds.



=== FRADZ ===

Flash Strike
Running on lightning is one of Fradz' unique abilities, he is able to control lightning under his feet so he can move about a hundred times faster than usual and it enables Fradz to hit nearby enemies 5 times.
The flash created by the lightning right before he strikes makes this move remarkable and feared by many.

Teleport Strike
Fradz becomes as fast as lightning itself, making him able to hit nearby enemy units 12 times at an extreme speed, Fradz is the only one known to be able to move at this rate, since nobody else can follow his movements, he cannot be hit, making him invulnerable.

Invisible Strike
By controlling the lightning around him, Fradz can run at 110% of his normal speed.
Moving at this dashing rate, enemy units can only see a tiny spark of what's supposed to be Fradz, making him invisible.
At this speed, the power of an attack made by Fradz has been increased by 500 damage, because Fradz' force has been multiplied with his speed.


If it still isn't good enough, I'll edit it even further (if requested).
 
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Level 14
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I enjoy writing, let me try a hand at Fradz's abilities....

Blessing of Lightning (Aura) – Lightning is a powerful element. One imbued with its power will feel a surge of energy throughout their body. The awesome power can be used to increase the rate at which wounds recover, as well as rejuvenating the mind after the use of abilities. The power can also radiate outwards, increasing the speed, strength, and mental integrity of those who surround the user.


Hydro Shell (Aura) – Fradz gathers water from his surroundings, from a lake, the air, or even from life itself. Using the element he can shield his allies, dispersing an attacker’s energy throughout the liquid. The energy is then re-concentrated, and shot back at the enemy, dealing potent damage.


Lightning Orb – Concentrated elemental spheres have long been heralds of damage and destruction for the elements. Fradz knowledge in the arts of the element of lightning has allowed him the ability to call upon the immortal orbs of lightning to strike down his enemies.


Lightning Attack – One imbued with the element of lightning can occasionally, as he swings to strike an enemy, concentrate energy into his weapon. Then, as the weapon falls, a surge of electricity enters the opponent, dealing devastating damage.

I think thats about it for my go-around.

~Asomath
 
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Thanks guys, I have updates the first post. Rep for the help.

peterrab said:
Shield Of Fire - Phodom, his control of fire being so great, can reverse the flame's destructive tendancy to his will and instead commands it to use it's energy to restore an ally's vital life force. The shield of flames he forms around the friendly unit also protects it from harm, the flames incinerating any weapon that tries to break through. Heals a targeted friendly unit's hit points and gives 8 extra armor for 10 seconds.
This should be edited so that it can be cast to the caster itself.

ap0calypse said:
By freezing the air around him, Galeoth expands the water particles around him,
the water in the air expands at a rapid rate, making the frozen air burst into ice and explode, freezing all nearby enemy units for 10 seconds.
This isn't epic enough. :p

ap0calypse said:
Invisible Strike
By controlling the lightning around him, Fradz can run at 110% of his normal speed.
Moving at this dashing rate, enemy units can only see a tiny spark of what's supposed to be Fradz, making him invisible.
At this speed, an attack made by Fradz deals 500 bonus damage.
The beginning is okay, the rest needs improvements. There isn't told why Fradz can deal that damage and how.

Asomath said:
Blessing of Lightning (Aura) – Lightning is a powerful element. One imbued with its power will feel a surge of energy throughout their body. The awesome power can be used to increase the rate at which wounds recover, as well as rejuvenating the mind after the use of abilities. The power can also radiate outwards, increasing the speed, strength, and mental integrity of those who surround the user.
This is great, but it doesn't tell actually how much it increases. In this ability, it is needed, there should be told how much hit points it restores, and how much attributes it gives.

Asomath said:
Lightning Attack – One imbued with the element of lightning can occasionally, as he swings to strike an enemy, concentrate energy into his weapon. Then, as the weapon falls, a surge of electricity enters the opponent, dealing devastating damage.
This doesn't tell that there is 10% chance that this will happen.
 
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Shield Of Fire - Phodom, his control of fire being so great, can reverse the flame's destructive tendancy to his will and instead commands it to use it's energy to restore either his own or an ally's vital life force. The shield of flames he forms also protects it's target from harm, the flames incinerating any weapon that tries to break through. Heals Phodom's or a targeted friendly unit's hit points and gives 8 extra armor for 10 seconds.

Any better ?
 
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Ah I see, you want the actual stats in there.

Blessing of Lightning (Aura) – Lightning is a powerful element. One imbued with its power will feel a surge of energy throughout their body. The awesome power can be used to increase the rate at which wounds recover, as well as rejuvenating the mind after the use of abilities. Over-time, a quarter of the user’s life-energy is regained. The power can also radiate outwards for approximately 15 seconds, increasing the speed, strength, and mental integrity of those who surround the user by 25.

Lightning Attack – One imbued with the element of lightning can occasionally, as he swings to strike an enemy, concentrate energy into his weapon. Then, as the weapon falls, a surge of electricity enters the opponent, dealing devastating damage. This powerful moment only occurs once in every ten strikes.

I might take on a few more later.

~Asomath
 
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I'm pretty tired, but I'll give it a shot.


=== PHODOM ===


Shield Of Fire - Heals a targeted friendly unit's hit points and gives 8 extra armor for 10 seconds.

Shield of Flame - Phodom pulls the fire's essence into a power that can be used for more than destruction. The fire is so controlled it heals a selected ally for X health and gives a protection of 8 armor for 10 seconds.

=== FRADZ ===

Lightning Attack - Every time you attack an enemy you have a 10% chance to cause lightning damage to your enemy.

Lightning Merge- Fradz blesses his combat skills with one of the most common of elements, lightning. The electrical force comes out when the connection is made just right. Hits 10% of the time.

Speedy Boost(aura) - Increases agility, attack and movement speed for 15 seconds of all friendly heroes in an area around Fradz. Also restores hit points and mana over time.

Static Charge(aura) - Fradz can charge a static force so strong it reaches X range speeding up all friendly units in the distance. The charge increases their attack speed, and movement speed along with agility for 15 seconds. A constant static allows units to restore health and mana as long as they are in range.

Bless Of Lightning(aura) - Restores 25% of hit points and mana. Also increases armor by 5, agility, intelligence and strenght by 25 for 15 seconds of all friendly heroes in an area around Fradz.

Gift of Lightning(aura) - For dedicating his hands to the power of electricity Fradz receives a Gift of Lightning restoring 25% of health and mana. The Gift is so strong that units around gain 5 armor and 25 to all stats for 15 seconds.


=== GALEOTH ===

Frozen Paradise
-
An ice explosion erupts around Galeoth dealing damage and freezing nearby enemy units for 10 seconds.

Frozen Paradise - Galeoth lowers the temperature down of everything down to absolute zero freezing everything then releases energy in the ice to send masses of icy explosions out firing shards of ice in all directions. Freezes all Foes for 10 seconds and deals incredible damage.
 
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I'll hit up the last one, and see if anybody else's needs fixing.

Invisible Strike – Just as Fradz can control the energy of lightning, and shape it into his needs, so can he manipulate other forms of smaller energy. By controlling the energy found in the magnetic and electric fields of visible light, he can bend it around himself, forming a type of invisibility. The energy of the field energizes him, boosting his speed by 110%. When he begins to strike an enemy, all of the energy of the field that surrounds him is infused with his weapon, destroying the cloaking field, and dealing a crushing 500 bonus damage.

~Asomath
 
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Asomath said:
Blessing of Lightning (Aura) – Lightning is a powerful element. One imbued with its power will feel a surge of energy throughout their body. The awesome power can be used to increase the rate at which wounds recover, as well as rejuvenating the mind after the use of abilities. Over-time, a quarter of the user’s life-energy is regained. The power can also radiate outwards for approximately 15 seconds, increasing the speed, strength, and mental integrity of those who surround the user by 25.
Heh, still doesn't tell all. The ability should tell these things:
- 25% hit points are healed
- Bonus armor
- Bonus attributes

The other one is fine. Thanks!
 
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Speedy Boost - Reaching deep into his powers, Fratz unleashes a powerful surge of energy that empowers himself and his allied heroes, increasing their speed and agility. The lightning surge also increases the life and mana regeneration of all touched heroes.
 
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Maybe now? XD

Blessing of Lightning (Aura) – Lightning is a powerful element. One imbued with its power will feel a surge of energy throughout their body. The awesome power can be used to increase the rate at which wounds recover, as well as rejuvenating the mind after the use of abilities. Over-time, a quarter of the user’s life-energy is regained. The power can also radiate outwards for approximately 15 seconds, increasing the speed, strength, and mental integrity of those who surround the user by 25, as well as helping to shield allies and reduce damage taken, increasing his allies armor by 5

And what about my invisible strike description?

~Asomath
 
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This isn't epic enough. :p
I'll edit it ^^

The beginning is okay, the rest needs improvements. There isn't told why Fradz can deal that damage and how.
Seems obvious...

P = F*v
(Power = Force * Velocity)

Force = the force generated by an object (Fradz' damage)
Velocity = the speed the object has (Fradz' 'dashing' speed)
Power = Well, the total amount of power behind the attack :D

But I'll change it, for the people who aren't that good at physics...
 
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Here is my attempt:

=== PHODOM ===
Effect:
Shield Of Fire - Heals a targeted friendly unit's hit points and gives 8 extra armor for 10 seconds.


With a light nudge Phodom slights his hand into the magic flow, causing it to flow gently around his hand. Then as a reaction to his will he forces it into the world in the form of fire and cast it at a friendly unit so the contained power can heal the target and serve as an external shield increasing protection by 8.


=== FRADZ ===
Invisible Strike - Turns Fradz invisible and increases his movement speed by 110% for 20 seconds. When Fradz attacks a unit the attack will do 500 bonus damage and invisibility is broken.

Using the lighting speed Fradz is able achieve he moves his body at such speed that it blurs out his image and make him fade from the world, also allowing him to increase his movement speed with 110% due to his lack of physical existence. Striking his foes while using this trick allows Fradz to do 500 extra damage, as all of the incredible speed is transferred into his mighty strike.

Speedy Boost(aura) - Increases agility, attack and movement speed for 15 seconds of all friendly heroes in an area around Fradz. Also restores hit points and mana over time.


Fradz affect people by amazement by the way he moves and fights. His incredible abilities are used in a way which no ordinary mortal can match, but that doesn’t prevent them from trying. An impressive effort which actually leads them to increase their agility, attack and movement for a brief amount of time (15 sec).

Bless Of Lightning(aura) - Restores 25% of hit points and mana. Also increases armor by 5, agility, intelligence and strenght by 25 for 15 seconds of all friendly heroes in an area around Fradz.

Fradz reputation often gains him recognition from the people around him, whom, not able to live up to the mighty warrior himself, sure as hell won’t at least try their best to be acknowledged by him. Their powerful urge and will to drive them to the utmost causes them to feel relieved restoring them 25% hp and mana and also increasing their stats by 25 points for 15 seconds. Even wounds doesn’t seem to bother them as much and this ignorance to pain makes them seems more well protected increasing their armor by 5 for a short time (15 sec).


=== GALEOTH ===
Frozen Paradise - An ice explosion errupts around Galeoth dealing damage and freezing nearby enemy units for 10 second

Searching the depths of earth, Galeoth draws forth the great cold from its long forgotten hiding place, creating an eruption of ice around him, which damage and freezes all nearby fools for 10 seconds. This should surely make them fear approaching Galeoth himself again.


Hope they can be of use :D

Oh and don't go copying this if your not the requester :grin:
 
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peterrab said:
Any better ?
Thanks, now it's perfect.


Reaper2008 said:
Speedy Boost - Reaching deep into his powers, Fratz unleashes a powerful surge of energy that empowers himself and his allied heroes, increasing their speed and agility. The lightning surge also increases the life and mana regeneration of all touched heroes.
Doesn't tell how long the effect lasts.

Asomath said:
Maybe now? XD
Now good!

Great too.

Updated the list.
 
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Lets get this round of translations done. You might want to change the title on this one, maybe one of the pre-reccomended titles. The current title is kind of silly. :p

Speedy Boost (Aura)- Fradz can, for 15 seconds, send a surge of rejuvenating electricity into the muscles of his allies. This electricity energizes one to the point in which their agility is beyond their normal limits and the rate at which they run and attack are increased. The energy also increases the rate at which blood is pumped throughout the body, closing wounds quicker and regenerating mental integrity.

~Asomath
 
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Hey, RED BARON, can you please put the ability names before the descriptions so I can see what they are. Thank you! They seem to be really nice.

Okay guys, everything is now done. But, now is the change to edit them. If you have a better and more unique description, post it here! I may change to your new one!

I want to be sure everything is now fine. Are they fine?
 
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Hey, RED BARON, can you please put the ability names before the descriptions so I can see what they are. Thank you! They seem to be really nice.
[/B]

Ehhh what.... I have both the person name and the ability name before any of me descriptions... The ability name (and what it does) is on black... maybe your screenlight is to low to see?

Then I just change it to white aswell...
 
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Just a small bit of tweaking to make the sentences perfect, not sure if you care or not.

Shield Of Fire - Phodom, his control of fire being so great, can reverse the flame's destructive tendancy

Tendancy should be spelled "tendency"

Vein Of Gold(passive) - Using his thievery skills, he knows where people hide their most valuable possesions...

possesions should be spelled "possessions"


and you should now be set, hope to see more translation threads soon :p

~Asomath
 
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Ehhh what.... I have both the person name and the ability name before any of me descriptions... The ability name (and what it does) is on black... maybe your screenlight is to low to see?

Then I just change it to white aswell...
Aha, so that's it. :D

My screen is really black, I simply can't see any black texts from the background. I will check them now, if I see them better than the current ones, I will edit. Let's see...

Just a small bit of tweaking to make the sentences perfect, not sure if you care or not.

Shield Of Fire - Phodom, his control of fire being so great, can reverse the flame's destructive tendancy

Tendancy should be spelled "tendency"

Vein Of Gold(passive) - Using his thievery skills, he knows where people hide their most valuable possesions...

possesions should be spelled "possessions"


and you should now be set, hope to see more translation threads soon :p

~Asomath
It would be really good if you just give me the full texts with fixes. It saves a lot of time from me because I can't be sure what exactly to fix. Thanks!
 
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(Edited by peterrab)
Shield Of Fire - Phodom, his control of fire being so great, can reverse the flame's destructive tendency to his will and instead commands it to use it's energy to restore either his own or an ally's vital life force. The shield of flames he forms also protects its target from harm, the flames incinerating any weapon that tries to break through. Heals Phodom's or a targeted friendly unit's hit points and gives 8 extra armor for 10 seconds.

(Edited by A mystery guy from shadows)
Vein Of Gold (passive) - Fradz, having done some freelance thieving before becoming a dragon slayer, knows that the need for gold is always dire. Using his thievery skills, he knows where people hide their most valuable possessions, the jewels they carry night and day. Searching the bodies of his foes with no fear of getting his hands dirty, Fradz finds X% more gold from monsters at all times.



There you go, the full paragraphs.

~Asomath
 
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Sorry, I'm little late.

Sorry to say this, RED BARON, but I didn't added your texts. I think the current ones are a little bit better. However, thanks for the help anyways! A well deserved reputation point for you too.

Thanks to Asomath once again! Btw, I'm going to need your help in future...

Okay guys. Final time I ask; is everything okay now? Are they ready to be added to the campaign? After everything is done, I give the repuation points same time to everyone who have helped me.
 
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