A Complete Waste of Time

[Hijax]

Have you ever been in that annoying situation where a text-rp just took ages to move on? of course you have, we all have. maybe the dm is on vacation and forgot to get a replace. maybe something else happened.

But lo, thou shalt despair no more! A complete waste of time is the filler which will fill the empty space in rp forums. Completely ridiculous characters face completely ridiculous encounters, quest, and other abominations from the Void That Makes No Sense.

get accused for off-posting in your regular RP? here, all posts are off-posts!

No map provided because of laziness on part of DM.
character descriptions may take any form you wish. they even no sense make may.
also, omnipotence and other stuff that is normally rules out in normal rps? allowed here, but be sure to know that enough ridiculousness exist that immunity to omnipotence is a possibility.

 

[SoLmaster]

SoLmaster
Gear- Skull shield. Skull plate armor. Bastard sword
IQ- 120
Gold- 20
Looks like a young, blond, lean boy.
He goes on quest even if it to gather stuff.


SoLmaster Created
Appears in Dummy city.

Quest: Mayor's Wife's Gem

"Youngster, Me I'm Mayor of Dummy city. You find wife's Emelda Gem, Me offer gold, and a fancy, glowy sword."
Do you take the quest?
SoLmaster takes the quest.
"Good me wait here for wife's gem."
SoLmaster get weapons and gear to find the wife's gem. The people he talks to say the fiery beast. So g he goes east to find the beast lair. When he got there he saw a bunny rabbit sitting and some bones. When he tries to go near the cave the Rabbit spits fire at him. He tries to pick up a bone and then he thrown it to his right. The rabbit leaps over to the bone and Solmaster runs over to pick up the gem. The a furry white thing leap over SoLmaster to protect the gem. The bastard sword cleaved though the Rabbit to find that it was a tiny dragon. He heard a roar and took the gem and ran to the City. When he got their he saw a house size bunny. He slew that dragon and walked over to the mayor.
"Me see you have gem. Here gold and sword."
SoLmaster gets 200 gold
And the energy blade of singing.
End Quest

?How That?

 

[Hijax]

OOC: You got the point, me see. good, good.
suddenly, a giantnormous squid appears above dummy city(yeah, its a flying giantnormous squid. your fucking screwed). It proceeds to sweep down and grab a few building, including the town hall, throwing them into the hills.

There's a giant squid on the rampage!

 

[SoLmaster]

Quest: Squids and Demons Part 1

SoLmaster attacks the squid with the energy blade of Singing and his bastard sword. He weakened the squid and got thrown into a building. Then he ahrows the sing blade at the Squid's eye piecing it. The squid falls and fade into dust. The dust forms into a sand demon.
The demon moved to the deserts of the east.
"Me, glad you won demon squid."
SoLmaster get supplies and enters the Flower Dessert.
SoLmaster Entering Flower Dessert
He slays a few monsters and enters the Shadow Pedal Keep.
"Hello, Son, Welcome to Shadow Pedal Keep, I'm Durast."
SoLmaster explains the Demon problem to Durast.
"Ah, a Dorust came to that city. Only Gronis knows were there are."
End part 1

 

[Hijax]

OOC: we need some more players. until then, im putting this on standby.

 

[Orc-of-Azeroth]

I think this is good to let out ur inner moron, just randomness eh? alrite ill try it

Orcporko
He is a large Blackish-green skinned orc, with a short braid of black hair, with muttonchops, wears a large brownish-gray shoulder arnessed pants pad, with black harnessed pants and boots, with a thick black warrior harness, (yeah he like harnesses, he harnesses his underwear too), and iron gauntlets, he has a large broadsword
does random killing and delivering shit for random people in Spamenit village, in this world orcs and humans live in harmony, so spamenit has both orcs and humans (obvoius)
gold-50
IQ-109

 

[Orc-of-Azeroth]

Quest:The Bitchin' Salt Story PART 1

Orcporkomfg Blargon the noob hunter!
Blargon: oh hey orcporko, yo man i heard there was a village ridicoulously far south, and u have to pass angry troll ridge to get there, but i hear they have some great salt over there, can u get me some salt to for my elf noob? I know you love annoyingly hard quests
Orcporko: Alright!Q
Orcporko went out of town then passed though happy safe forest onto angry troll ridge
Enraged Troll: BLAGGADOOBAEGG! I AM SO FRIGGIN' ANGRY AHHH!
Orcporko: Maybe I can help?
Enraged Troll: AAHHHHH! I HATE YOU ALL! TROLL NOOBS KILL HIM!
Suddenly Troll Noobs appeared around him
Orcporko owns them with his broadsword
Enraged Troll: alright your too godly go ahead
Orc passed the ridge and into th e village
Orcporko found the village with everyone dead, bummer, but he just stole salt from a corpse
Salt Elemental: YOU DARE CHALLENGE ME?
Orcporko: DON'T YOU RIP OFF ILLIDAN!
Salt Elemental: MAKE ME
Orcporko: YOU ARE HURTFUL!
Orcporko stabs him a bunch of times
Salt Elemental: HAH NOOB!
Orcporko takes some water and threw it on the elemental
Orcporko: Right back at you!
Salt Elemental: That finishing line suuuuuuckeedd.....
the salt elemtental melted and turned into a large solid lump
Orcporko stabs it making it shatter
Orcporko LEVEL UP YAYZ PARTY!
Orcporko: STFU

End of act 2

 

[Crazy Cow]

Well, is this for private adventures or is there some grand scheme in all this randomness?
By the by, I'm joining in... I guess...

Adinhina
Dwarf Warrior
Well, just imagine your steryotipical Dwarf warrior and you get Adinhina.
GEAR: Steryotipical two-handed axe, plus steryotipical solid-steel armor, plus steryotipical ale mug reinforced with mithral bands
GOLD: 20

ADINHINA created
Appears in dummy city

 

[DarkKnight]

Name: Kamica (Me =D)
'race': Planet sized AI.
Special abillity: Can create humanoid holograms, always a dude with brown hair, glasses, and a lab coat, several times with different weaponry (Note: Holograms CAN interact with stuff)
Equipment: A rocky crust (Whoa, he's a planet =D)
Special traits: LOVES to make his holograms disapear when attacked, and re-apear just next to where it stood, making it look like a perfect evade, also never speaks of his planetoid body, sees the holograms as his own body.
(sidenote: when I speak of 'Kamica' I mean the hologram)

Kamica appears in DUMMY CITY.... inside a WALL, he sees a HUMANOID... appears HUMAN, and is rather fat.... with a MASSIVE EXCLAMATION MARK above his HEAD, he walks over the man, pokes him, and the man suddenly starts to talk without looking Kamica straight in the eyes "Hi there friend, normally the FAT PIGS around this area are silent, and kind, but now they are just getting too many, their leader, FAT PIG LEADER, must be exterminated for the balance of nature" he pauses, Kamica says "Hey, that's elven behavure, you're not a.." the man interrupts Kamica again "Kill FAT PIG LEADER and I will give you 10 BRONZE COINS" And the MASSIVE EXCLAMATION MARK changed into a MASSIVE QUESTION MARK. Kamica shrugs, teleports outside of the city, and sees 5 little piglets, he then multiplies himself in a few thousand, notices there are still only 5 pigs, he returns to one Kamica, and looks at the pigs, he then notices, there are names above them, 4 of the names say FAT PIG, and one says FAT PIG LEADER this one, is only a little bit bigger. Kamica then thinks 'Hmm.. that guy himself is a fat pig...lol" suddenly he starts to laugh out loud "Whoa, why did that happen? Ah well" he teleports back to the man, a sword appears in his hand, and he stabs the FAT HUMAN, the FAT HUMAN dies overly dramatic, and Kamica opens the LOOTPACK of the FAT HUMAN, and notices he has 2 GOLD COINS, and some ROTTEN MEAT, he then looks around, and notices a BACKPACK, opens it, and notices it has 200 million GOLD COINS, SILVER COINS and BRONZE COINS in it, he takes the BACKPACK, Equips it, and notices it doesn't weigh anything at all, he puts in a sword a large stone which has to weigh atleast 20 kilos, and it feels like only 0.1 kilo "Strange" he says, he looks at his backpack, but notices it had dissapeared..., also, a while later, after Kamica had cooked his ROTTEN MEAT, and it had become COOKED MEAT, which strangely looked brownish, instead of the blackish colour it had a while ago, the FAT HUMAN suddenly appeared from nothing, with still a MASSIVE QUESTION MARK above his head, then, he noticed it was rather dark... and he looked up, seeing a giant tentacle, picking up a building a few streets away, and throwing it away, the only thing Kamica did was think "What the f*ck."

 

[Dragonson]

If this is dead, it needs to be rebooted.
Are people still interested in this?

 

[Crazy Cow]

Not really.