Warcraft jokes

[Nirds]

Its kind of boring here today. Please fellow hivers, give me some Warcraft jokes to make my day.

 

[Arad MNK]

http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/off-topic-478/yo-hive-mama-jokes-v2-263762/

 

[Shadow Fury]

I've been waiting this thread for so long, I was getting tired of hive mama jokes. Ok, here's a joke to start with (not guaranteed that it will make anyone laugh though):

"Once Illidan went to a Tavern. He headed to the door to open it and enter but he'd just beaten the wall hardly. An old man saw him and asked:

"Are you blind?"

(Ok, I don't think it's funny... got any better?)

 

[Aeroblyctos]

Glad you could bake it, Uther.

Watch your tone with me, boy. You may be the waiter, but I'm still your superior as a chef.

As if I could forgetti. Listen, Uther, there's something about the plaguette you should knead. Oh no... It's too late. These peopleroni have all been infectedanana. They may look al dente now, but its a matter of thyme before they turn into the unedible.

What?!

This entire citrella must be peeled.

How can you even cook that? There's got to be some other whey.

Damn it, Umami. As your future chef, I order you to broil this city!

You are not my chef yet, boyardee. Nor would I obey that command if you were!

Then I must consider this an act of seasoning.

Seasoning? Have you sauced your mince, Arthas?!

Have I? Lord Umami, by my right of succession and the sovereignty of my crown of roast pork, I hereby rehydrate you from your commandard and suspenderoni your pepperoni from service.

Arthas, you just can't...

*Ding* It's done! Those of you who have the will to taste this flan, follow me. The rest of you? Get out of my kitchen.

You've just tossed a terrible salad, Arthas.

Jaina?

I'm sorry, Arthas. I can't watch you cook this.

 

[hiphop4eva]

glad you could bake it, uther.

Watch your tone with me, boy. You may be the waiter, but i'm still your superior as a chef.

As if i could forgetti. Listen, uther, there's something about the plaguette you should knead. Oh no... It's too late. These peopleroni have all been infectedanana. They may look al dente now, but its a matter of thyme before they turn into the unedible.

What?!

This entire citrella must be peeled.

How can you even cook that? There's got to be some other whey.

Damn it, umami. As your future chef, i order you to broil this city!

You are not my chef yet, boyardee. Nor would i obey that command if you were!

Then i must consider this an act of seasoning.

Seasoning? Have you sauced your mince, arthas?!

Have i? Lord umami, by my right of succession and the sovereignty of my crown of roast pork, i hereby rehydrate you from your commandard and suspenderoni your pepperoni from service.

Arthas, you just can't...

*ding* it's done! Those of you who have the will to taste this flan, follow me. The rest of you? Get out of my kitchen.

You've just tossed a terrible salad, arthas.

Jaina?

I'm sorry, arthas. I can't watch you cook this.

lol :d

 

[Arad MNK]

Glad you could bake it, Uther.

Watch your tone with me, boy. You may be the waiter, but I'm still your superior as a chef.

As if I could forgetti. Listen, Uther, there's something about the plaguette you should knead. Oh no... It's too late. These peopleroni have all been infectedanana. They may look al dente now, but its a matter of thyme before they turn into the unedible.

What?!

This entire citrella must be peeled.

How can you even cook that? There's got to be some other whey.

Damn it, Umami. As your future chef, I order you to broil this city!

You are not my chef yet, boyardee. Nor would I obey that command if you were!

Then I must consider this an act of seasoning.

Seasoning? Have you sauced your mince, Arthas?!

Have I? Lord Umami, by my right of succession and the sovereignty of my crown of roast pork, I hereby rehydrate you from your commandard and suspenderoni your pepperoni from service.

Arthas, you just can't...

*Ding* It's done! Those of you who have the will to taste this flan, follow me. The rest of you? Get out of my kitchen.

You've just tossed a terrible salad, Arthas.

Jaina?

I'm sorry, Arthas. I can't watch you cook this.

LoL

Good one.

 

[Orcnet]

Let's just hear Arthas sing instead.

 

[A Void]

Jaina in the morning, I wish it was a real show.

 

[Orcnet]

Haha I remembered that, when you keep clicking the Pit Lord he will start providing that dialogue.

 

[Celaquil]

Glad you could bake it, Uther.

Watch your tone with me, boy. You may be the waiter, but I'm still your superior as a chef.

As if I could forgetti. Listen, Uther, there's something about the plaguette you should knead. Oh no... It's too late. These peopleroni have all been infectedanana. They may look al dente now, but its a matter of thyme before they turn into the unedible.

What?!

This entire citrella must be peeled.

How can you even cook that? There's got to be some other whey.

Damn it, Umami. As your future chef, I order you to broil this city!

You are not my chef yet, boyardee. Nor would I obey that command if you were!

Then I must consider this an act of seasoning.

Seasoning? Have you sauced your mince, Arthas?!

Have I? Lord Umami, by my right of succession and the sovereignty of my crown of roast pork, I hereby rehydrate you from your commandard and suspenderoni your pepperoni from service.

Arthas, you just can't...

*Ding* It's done! Those of you who have the will to taste this flan, follow me. The rest of you? Get out of my kitchen.

You've just tossed a terrible salad, Arthas.

Jaina?

I'm sorry, Arthas. I can't watch you cook this.

If only you'd skip some of the creative words and if you'd known a little more
about the hierarchy of the kitchen, this would be loads better.

For the sake of staying on-topic:

"I ain't got no body." - Shade

 

[TheLordOfChaos201]

So there has been

star-craft
war-craft
mine-craft
and
witch-craft

what's next?

Whore-craft... please say no, I don't look forward to a future with that game in production

 

[Orcnet]

Let's continue Aeroblyctos' FoodCraft!

---

THE HUNGRY ORCS: BY LEMONS BE NUTRITION

The Orcs are furious with Grom Hellscream's decision to take a diet and announce all menus to be less greasy. Thrall, Cairne, and Jaina decided to end his diet plan once and for all: Cairne: If the omelet was correct, then the Warsong supplement lies just over the fridge. We should ready ourselves for battle. Thrall: I know, Cairne. It's just that I never thought I'd live to see the day, when I had to fight my own bagel. Jaina: Just remember Thrall. With this bowl crème you can capture your friend Hellscream's spirit without starving him. But you need to bring it back to my base immediately, so we can free Grom from the lemons' control. Thrall: I.. satiate your help, Miss Proudmoore. Yet another day I thought I'd never live to tea. Jaina: That bakes two of us. I'll return to my marketplace and lemonade dew as best I can. Good luck... gentlement. Cairne: The biscuit sausage surround you, young warchief. They sense your radish... your grief. Thrall: Hellscream is like a burger to me, Cairne. But he and his flan have fallen under the bacon's influence. If I can't microwave him, then my people might be mashed for all time. -- Jaina: Thrall! the rice are burning! Thrall: This is no natural corn! Blessed grocery stores.. Everyone braise yourselves! -- Thrall: Grom! Youve' got to come with me! Grom: And where would you lead me, boy? Slushie is at demand! Corned Broth is our platter now. Thrall: Stew? You're not cooking stems! Grom: Ah, Thrall. You always believed that the lemons crusted our taste, but that's only half brew. We crave ourselves up willingly on Draenor! The other chieftains and I... we drank Broth's blood, Thrall. We brought this curse upon ourselves! Thrall: You squid fish.. to our bagel...knowingly? (Stomach: Arrrghh!) -- Thrall: Grom? Grom: Thrall... I see chilly now. I'm hungry. I am so hungry. Thrall: To hell with your broccolies! Appetite now, I need you to microwave our bagel. Grom: Broth.. we must face Broth in the Salmon. Thrall: Then let's chow. I don't want to keep the mustard waiting. THE END

 

[Arad MNK]

LoL Orcnet

 

[Shadow Fury]

Time to change the theme. The waiter Kael'thas goes to serve Lord Garithos, an arrogant owner of a chain of restaurants of the Alliance, in one of his own low-success restaurants.

Lord Garithos: You are late, waiter Kael'thas. I thought you elf prided yourself on a rapid service. Waiter Kael'thas: It couldn't be helped, Lord Garithos. I ran into a group of grumpy clients from across the tables and... Lord Garithos: I am not delighted by this incredibly slow service. You waiters are here to serve me as quickly as possible thus you will dash faster than a cheetah chasing its prey. Is that clear? Waiter Kael'thas: Yes, Lord Garithos. Lord Garithos: Now, the Mc Horde-onalds has begun a new chain of restaurants to take over our clients. Their primary restaurant established South through Gastropine but we managed to slump its success by spoiling their food stores. Waiter Kael'thas: My cooks are ready to work. When shall we leave for the main restaurant? Lord Garithos: I will be leaving immediately but your crew will be staying here. Our chef reports that a second restaurant might be built a few kilometers to the East. I need you to repair the outlying observatory so that we can spy them all day. Waiter Kael'Thas: But, milord, I am a waiter, not... Lord Garithos: You have your orders, waiter Kael'thas. I trust your elven hears heard them clearly enough. Get outta my sight now! *Kael walks away* Waiter Kael'Thas: Insolent son of a... let's get this over with.

 

[Daffa]

I lol'd with these jokes xD