I have loved certain anime characters for a long time, this has nothing to do with this.
With the 'Trol way' I was referring to a wish for a relationship, but that is not what I want.
My life was destroyed by not dedicating myself to succeed in making a dream come true, I have allowed them all to slip from my grip and not do a thing about it.
I have known my love towards her for a long time now, it's only that the anime managed to shatter my shell. It blurred my thinking and allowed my brain to leak all this data.