- Joined
- Sep 3, 2004
- Messages
- 2,086
Another allegorical fabrication.
The noob is a strange mutation of the human species, diverted off the strands of mankind that go into online communities, and what scientists believe is the larval stage of a professional.
PART I: Hatching
Most noobs begin their lives when they are persuaded or simply lured, either through peer pressure, friends, or advertising, into an online community, online gathering nexus, or whatnot to play, frolick, and have all sorts of fun. As they enter the world, they are greeted by what the shamanistic elders (pros) would say, are the "Gateways." The first one, n00b, is presented by a paper picture of a whore, which leads into a lava-filled, Satanic cave. The second, newb, has a stick of celery, unappealing, but leads them into a vast crystal archive. Those that enter the newb door lose their ability to talk to incoming noobs, and thus cannot tell them what to do.
PART II: Pupal Form and Metamorphosis
The two doors vastly contrast each other, and thus create completely different branches of the species omnipotus gamerus. The first, spawned by the door n00b, are completely imcompetent, selfish gamers which cannot think of what other people think about them, or even realize that simply taking someone else's idea will get them killed for it. Here is something anyone with a geometry (math class) education will understand
n00b: If you are a n00b, you can get banned
PROOF:
If you are a n00b, you might be a fag
If you are a fag, you will make crap
If you make crap, you piss people off
If you piss people off, you get warned
If you get warned, you might not listen
If you don't listen, you can get banned
newb: If you are a newb, you future is promising
If you are a newb, you make some mistakes
If you make some mistakes, you will be corrected
If you are corrected, you get better
If you get better, your future is promising.
Newbs, however, in the archives, learn to appreciate other people's work, look up to them in a good way, and try to be like them in their own creative, intelligent way. n00bs, on the other hand, see professional's work, that if they replicate it, good or bad, they can usurp some power and get those "goody-good-shoes newbs"
As the pupal stage continues, n00bs make petty efforts to usurp more power, at no avail. Newbs, however, being in the archives, have a hunger to learn more and to improve, either with a goal to outdo the professionals, or to outdo each other, resulting in friendly and playful competition. n00bs, try to flame each other and downvote good work to make themselves look better, then flame up each other because their sinister and unprepared plan did not work.
-IMPORTANT NOTE: Edited by oz02 for flaming content.
PART III: Hatching from the cocoon
When their petty play leaves them independent, in both branches, they are free, attempting to find what they can do the achieve their goals. The n00bs, try to usurp power, flame people, and spawn crap, redundant questions.
Newbs, ask constructive questions, sometimes even search through old threads, create new topics on them, and thus revive an old clan tradition, adding more to the rich culture of newbs, and thus creating a pathway to professional. Sadly, most of them simply become mediocre, but are creative and give great concepts. For example, about 30% of my rating goes to the concept, or idea of the piece, what was fabricated, and how useful it is.
n00bs, simply continue to flame people and continue to band up in gangs, attempt to attack a group of professionals, lose order, and collapse on each other, losing all hope of doing that again, usually resulting in warnings, warning bans, and perma-ban. Edited by oz02 for flaming content
PART IV: The path to professionalism
Some newbs, rise, with the help and aid of each other's unique skills acquired during the archive stage, give each other credit, and slowly rise to become skilled, and if great enough, the great Almighty God, Darky28, will grant them the power of Gods, known as moderatorus. This allows them the strike down the savage n00bs with their deleting ang locking powers, and help newbs reach power, but probably not to the point of moderatorus
PART V: What happens to the other ones?
Some people, do not take either path, but rather sift through the community, usually wearing the corpse of a dead member as a disguise, sifting answers out and using them for their own good. The greatest example is the Blizzardus Entertainmenti, which steals ideas, and claims the idiodic fact all our creations are theirs.
PART VI: Those that do not reach moderatorus
Those that do not, usually become lesser wanderers, usually being go-lucky helpers due to the lack of responsibility in the community. Sometimes, they ocassionally band up, usually in flaming and repelling a n00b(s) from reaching and attacking a shrine (topic) to death. These people worship the Almighty and his Followers, praying and offering to help them protect themselves and each other from the savages.
This concludes another electronic documentary, made by Eusira, inspired by educational television, insects, and of course, Hienle's speech about n00bs at www.order-fm.com
The noob is a strange mutation of the human species, diverted off the strands of mankind that go into online communities, and what scientists believe is the larval stage of a professional.
PART I: Hatching
Most noobs begin their lives when they are persuaded or simply lured, either through peer pressure, friends, or advertising, into an online community, online gathering nexus, or whatnot to play, frolick, and have all sorts of fun. As they enter the world, they are greeted by what the shamanistic elders (pros) would say, are the "Gateways." The first one, n00b, is presented by a paper picture of a whore, which leads into a lava-filled, Satanic cave. The second, newb, has a stick of celery, unappealing, but leads them into a vast crystal archive. Those that enter the newb door lose their ability to talk to incoming noobs, and thus cannot tell them what to do.
PART II: Pupal Form and Metamorphosis
The two doors vastly contrast each other, and thus create completely different branches of the species omnipotus gamerus. The first, spawned by the door n00b, are completely imcompetent, selfish gamers which cannot think of what other people think about them, or even realize that simply taking someone else's idea will get them killed for it. Here is something anyone with a geometry (math class) education will understand
n00b: If you are a n00b, you can get banned
PROOF:
If you are a n00b, you might be a fag
If you are a fag, you will make crap
If you make crap, you piss people off
If you piss people off, you get warned
If you get warned, you might not listen
If you don't listen, you can get banned
newb: If you are a newb, you future is promising
If you are a newb, you make some mistakes
If you make some mistakes, you will be corrected
If you are corrected, you get better
If you get better, your future is promising.
Newbs, however, in the archives, learn to appreciate other people's work, look up to them in a good way, and try to be like them in their own creative, intelligent way. n00bs, on the other hand, see professional's work, that if they replicate it, good or bad, they can usurp some power and get those "goody-good-shoes newbs"
As the pupal stage continues, n00bs make petty efforts to usurp more power, at no avail. Newbs, however, being in the archives, have a hunger to learn more and to improve, either with a goal to outdo the professionals, or to outdo each other, resulting in friendly and playful competition. n00bs, try to flame each other and downvote good work to make themselves look better, then flame up each other because their sinister and unprepared plan did not work.
-IMPORTANT NOTE: Edited by oz02 for flaming content.
PART III: Hatching from the cocoon
When their petty play leaves them independent, in both branches, they are free, attempting to find what they can do the achieve their goals. The n00bs, try to usurp power, flame people, and spawn crap, redundant questions.
Newbs, ask constructive questions, sometimes even search through old threads, create new topics on them, and thus revive an old clan tradition, adding more to the rich culture of newbs, and thus creating a pathway to professional. Sadly, most of them simply become mediocre, but are creative and give great concepts. For example, about 30% of my rating goes to the concept, or idea of the piece, what was fabricated, and how useful it is.
n00bs, simply continue to flame people and continue to band up in gangs, attempt to attack a group of professionals, lose order, and collapse on each other, losing all hope of doing that again, usually resulting in warnings, warning bans, and perma-ban. Edited by oz02 for flaming content
PART IV: The path to professionalism
Some newbs, rise, with the help and aid of each other's unique skills acquired during the archive stage, give each other credit, and slowly rise to become skilled, and if great enough, the great Almighty God, Darky28, will grant them the power of Gods, known as moderatorus. This allows them the strike down the savage n00bs with their deleting ang locking powers, and help newbs reach power, but probably not to the point of moderatorus
PART V: What happens to the other ones?
Some people, do not take either path, but rather sift through the community, usually wearing the corpse of a dead member as a disguise, sifting answers out and using them for their own good. The greatest example is the Blizzardus Entertainmenti, which steals ideas, and claims the idiodic fact all our creations are theirs.
PART VI: Those that do not reach moderatorus
Those that do not, usually become lesser wanderers, usually being go-lucky helpers due to the lack of responsibility in the community. Sometimes, they ocassionally band up, usually in flaming and repelling a n00b(s) from reaching and attacking a shrine (topic) to death. These people worship the Almighty and his Followers, praying and offering to help them protect themselves and each other from the savages.
This concludes another electronic documentary, made by Eusira, inspired by educational television, insects, and of course, Hienle's speech about n00bs at www.order-fm.com
