Pirates are friendly!
Pirates are hearty
They’re bluff and they’re loud
They’ll always have fun
On their own or in crowds
Some have an eye patch
And some have a hook
In place of the hand
That a crocodile took
They’re usually friendly
Despite all your fears
But if you should cross them
They’ll cut off your ears
They’ll stamp on your fingers
Stick knives up your nose
Put ants in your trousers
And crabs on your toes
And then when they’re finished
And your spirits are low
It’s off to the edge of the ship you must go
Hands tied behind you
Eyes bound about
You’re prodded and pushed
By their jeers and their shouts
Your eyes start to water
There’s no hope, let’s be frank
In a matter of seconds
You’ll fall from The Plank
Below you’ll be swallowed
By water and sharks
Who will bite you and tear you
Into many wee parts
You prepare for the moment
When you’ll fall into space
You screw up your courage
Your hands and your face
Then suddenly, laughter!
A hug and a poke
Why those silly old pirates
Were having a joke!
I told you they’re friendly
Despite all your fears
But, if you should cross them
It could all end in tears
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