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Stranger

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Level 36
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Nov 24, 2007
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It's been a while since I produced anything poetic of which I'd deem post-worthy.
But here you go, lucky chaps: A freshly baked, hot out of the oven, poem revolving
around the lucrative sensation of discovering a significant change inside yourself.
The stranger in our minds. I know it's likely a little taboo to comment on the subject
of which a poem is based before you've read it, but I wanted to get it through,
because this one lies very close to my heart.

Anyway, as Mario would say: Here we go!:

Stranger

There’s a stranger in my life
There’s a stranger in my bed
There’s a stranger by my side
There’s a stranger in my head

I can see him in my eyes
Those eyes inside the mirror
I can see him by my side
This shadow of demise

He’s walking in my sleep
He’s running by my thoughts
He’s ravaging my dreams
He’s sleeping in my keep

This stranger wants my life
This stranger wants my bed
This stranger wants my side
This stranger wants my head

I can feel him in my bed
A touch inside my soul
I can feel him in my life
This voice inside my head

I’m walking in his sleep
I’m running by his thoughts
I’m ravaging his dreams
I’m sleeping in his keep

We’re strangers, yet the same
We’re friends, and yet deranged
We’re brothers, in our minds
We’re strangers,

And the same
 
Level 11
Joined
Jan 30, 2010
Messages
548
As I said in chat it has a song like quality to it and it can be read from start to end like a breeze. The change from second to first person in the middle is "perfectly" flawless.
The momentum remains throughout till the coup de grâce line "and the same".
Wonderful execution and a fabulous choice of subject, to which you have done justice.
Warm regards
~N.Knight
 
Level 3
Joined
Jun 20, 2011
Messages
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I read this poem over and over again, its so easy to read through and so beautiful, I just kept reading it over, and over again and even after I moved on to other posts or tabs the words kept ringing in my head.

I doubt you need to be told that you did a really great job, but I need to say it, you did a really great job.

Its so polished and fluid, it takes no effort to read it and rewards the mind so much, the assonance and alliteration and the many literary devices used to make this vibrant and the superb tense climax at the end. It is simply, beautiful.
 
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