• 🏆 Texturing Contest #33 is OPEN! Contestants must re-texture a SD unit model found in-game (Warcraft 3 Classic), recreating the unit into a peaceful NPC version. 🔗Click here to enter!
  • It's time for the first HD Modeling Contest of 2024. Join the theme discussion for Hive's HD Modeling Contest #6! Click here to post your idea!

Story & Lore Mini-Contests ~ Reincarnation of a Dead Soldier

Status
Not open for further replies.

Deleted member 212788

D

Deleted member 212788

building up tension is fine, but I've run out of nails xD
 
Level 17
Joined
Apr 3, 2010
Messages
1,101
No its just pointless waiting on a mod to have to post the results. I agree with him, just leave it at making a post. I mean if he was still judging there would be no problem> but the fact that we are waiting on one person that isn't even a requirement and that one person already has a busy life and lots of responsibility on this site means it would make so much more sense just to make the post then send the link to it to Pharoh or the mod till a later date when they are ready to properly announce it.
All we are doing is creating a backlog for pharoh which would make for one unhappy guy :(
Pointless waiting is pointless.
 
Level 14
Joined
Oct 6, 2008
Messages
759
You are rather impatient. You wouldve hated the Hive before pharaoh and these judges were here. A month long contest took 5-6 months to get results.

One of the main reasons why I joined at 2008 but never got involved in the forums untill 2012. But still is frustrating. And the most annoying thing is I see other moderators online all the time but I guess they prefer that we bang our heads against the wall in wait for pharaoh to return, which on the other hand makes completely no sense. It's not like he is going to read through them and evaluade if they must be put on a topic. I just can't seem to find the reason on waiting for someone to do something that is neither urgently needed nor required. Believe me, I am in no way eager to see them, rather than trying to ignite some thoughts about improvements in the system that is obviously lacking...for years as I have observed.
 

Deleted member 212788

D

Deleted member 212788

What if the judge sends the results ONLY to the contestants and the proper announcement is to the public? that would reduce the frustration for the people who are most eager to see them :)
 
Level 27
Joined
Jun 23, 2009
Messages
4,787
THe reason i don't post the results yet is pretty simple:
I'm judging on behalf of the hive, and throwing very oppinionated things at all'yall, and just about 80% of it is stuff that i would've just kept to myself in order to remain within the borders of general good behaviour had i not been directly asked for my opinion.

So, therefore, i want mod approval before i post anything.
And i honestly couldn't care less about whether you think that's a good idea or not. I have both honour-codes and personal standards to uphold, as alien as that might sound to some.
 
Level 4
Joined
Jun 2, 2012
Messages
746
THe reason i don't post the results yet is pretty simple:
I'm judging on behalf of the hive, and throwing very oppinionated things at all'yall, and just about 80% of it is stuff that i would've just kept to myself in order to remain within the borders of general good behaviour had i not been directly asked for my opinion.

So, therefore, i want mod approval before i post anything.
And i honestly couldn't care less about whether you think that's a good idea or not. I have both honour-codes and personal standards to uphold, as alien as that might sound to some.

Ok... i see.:wink:
 
Level 19
Joined
Mar 16, 2009
Messages
3,681
THe reason i don't post the results yet is pretty simple:
I'm judging on behalf of the hive, and throwing very oppinionated things at all'yall, and just about 80% of it is stuff that i would've just kept to myself in order to remain within the borders of general good behaviour had i not been directly asked for my opinion.

So? We're not kindergarten children and I've never ever heard of a mod telling a judge to moderate his views. I doubt yours would be very harsh. However, this is pointless, seeing as;

i honestly couldn't care less about whether you think that's a good idea or not.
 

Deleted member 212788

D

Deleted member 212788

Sound the horns! The Pharaoh Lives! Now more serious, happy to know that the results will be here soon enough. Fingers Crossed.
 
Level 14
Joined
Oct 6, 2008
Messages
759
Eh, i've sent the judgings to pharaoh a while ago.
I recently sent him a VM asking if he'd recieved them, but no answer yet.

^^ The first forum I see where messages dissapear or never get recieved. Did he send them by a postal pigeon and the bird got shot down?

And I am having a deja vu, as this exact same thing happened between judge and a mod in the mini-mapping contest #7 :vw_sleep:
 

Deleted member 212788

D

Deleted member 212788

^^ The first forum I see where messages dissapear or never get recieved. Did he send them by a postal pigeon and the bird got shot down?

And I am having a deja vu, as this exact same thing happened between judge and a mod in the mini-mapping contest #7 :vw_sleep:

*bites a bit of his cooked chicken and says* "Oh, that was your carrier pigeon?. . .erm . . it was delicious if that helps! :)
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Deleted member 212788

D

Deleted member 212788

Is there any chance we will be seeing the results, before the end of the month ? :)
 
Level 17
Joined
Apr 3, 2010
Messages
1,101
highly doubtful. Somehow despite Dragonson going out of his way to judge asap, he is the fastest judge i have seen so far, and oh wait the results get prolonged to usual Hive time. Is this like an inset ritual for competitions that results are not allowed to be posted within the same month relatively that the competition ended.
 
Level 14
Joined
Oct 6, 2008
Messages
759
Since Dragonson is the only person who wants to judge contests in this subforum, then perhaps he shoud be made the moderator of this section of the hive, thus giving us a normal deadline and posting the results himself with him also being the host of it. Only a blind person can miss the obvious lack of ''anything'' that seems to be reigning here on the hive.
 

Deleted member 212788

D

Deleted member 212788

I think we've passed the absurd moment, now we're moving on to plain ridiculous. Nothing to do but laugh and wait :)
 
Level 17
Joined
Apr 3, 2010
Messages
1,101
Since Dragonson is the only person who wants to judge contests in this subforum, then perhaps he shoud be made the moderator of this section of the hive, thus giving us a normal deadline and posting the results himself with him also being the host of it. Only a blind person can miss the obvious lack of ''anything'' that seems to be reigning here on the hive.

I wanna judge to :( But yeh Dragonson for mod would be win !! GO DRAGONSON :D!!!!
 

Deleted member 212788

D

Deleted member 212788

No signs of Pharaoh so far, does that mean you will reveal the results tomorrow ? :)
 
Level 27
Joined
Jun 23, 2009
Messages
4,787
Okay, it certainly became very Late on Friday. :p Here's the results.

InfinateAnswers' Entry: An Unnamed Story of Mental Recovery

Plot: 6/10
Eloquence: 5/10
Ease of Reading: 5/10
True to the Theme: 3/5

Score: 19

All in all, your story was pretty decent. But, that's just about as far as it gets.
The writing was decent, the plot was decent, the eloquence and grammar were decent, and it was decently easy to read.
It had potential, no doubt, but it ended up falling short on key points.

They way you constantly jumped from scene to scene with cuts in the text made it hard to grasp the consistent story, as I constantly had to figure out where the story had moved to, which character was talking and so forth.
Had the story featured a wider cast and more perspectives, this would have completely shattered it. However, as it did not feature those things it only became a somewhat-minor hindrance.
Apart from the awkward cuts the writing was pretty eloquent, although in some places the momentum was completely broken by awkward pauses, strange ways of saying things and unnecessary words.
The plot was... Well, generic. Very generic. The ending was a bit creative, and you had me reading the last bit three times over before I realized you'd pulled the carpet away under our feet, but although it was a good twist it was like a blot of red color on an entirely green piece of linen; it stood out too much.

I must admit as well, I don't really think you're being very true to the theme here.
I see the lines between a soldier returning from the dead and a mentally broken soldier overcoming his trauma, but I’d say it's a slight bit too far into the symbolic

In short: It was decent.


Lordkoon's Entry: Parts I-III, 'What Am I Doing Here', 'Airborn' and 'Storyteller'.

Plot: 6/10
Eloquence: 4/10
Ease of Reading: 6/10
True to the Theme: 5/5

Score: 21

As Cliché-filled as this story was, I must admit I enjoyed reading it.
It had some very good bits, and although I think it could have used a bit more actual story in between the cuts the cutting of the story did work in the story's favor.
I especially liked the bit with the paladin's one-liner. And well, it was kinda' cut apart into two sections, but in practice it WAS still a one-liner.
'Something better than arrows...' [Dramatic pause] 'Faith'.
Man, you could make a meme out of that.
'Mario, to save the princess you'll need something stronger than jumping... FAITH!'
Ahem, back on topic...
However, it also had some very bad bits, which pulled a lot of the shine away from the good ones.
You really need to work on the flow of your storytelling. A good example of this is in the beginning, in this piece of text:

Her countless claws kept grasping the air around me.

No. Those were actually the hands and deformed limbs of the creatures that were once humans.

This is a pretty sweet bit of writing, and it's got some punch behind it when you think about what's actually being said, but...
Try reading this phrase aloud to yourself. The first line's got an epic air around it, and sets the mood 'real nice, but when you hit the second line this grandiose feel is shattered completely.
'No, those were actually the hands and deformed limbs of the creatures that were once humans.'
It's like... a list. Like a student in a class correcting another student on a particular piece of information.
I actually laughed out loud when I read it the first time.
Personally I'd re-write the whole line, to give it a more fitting feel, but for just a quick fix I'm gonna' point out the biggest flaw: The word 'actually'.
It gives a feeling of self-correction, and although that might be what the character is doing, correcting himself, it completely breaks the immersion.
If this is the character when he's standing in front of the 'horror army' that is telling this part, then it entirely shatters the image that he's scared out of his living self. No-one who is in the midst of facing that fact that he's going to die would use that turn of phrase. Maybe someone who's already done with facing the fact that he's going to die and has found inner peace, but not someone who's still even considering deserting to save his own hide.
And if it's the main character after his demise, looking back at his past, who is telling the story at this bit, then it's like he's uncertain of what actually happened.
Say, like someone who's just making stuff up who in the middle of his tale realizes that things aren't adding up, and goes 'Uh, wait, no... It happened like THIS, not like that!'.
And while that might be what is actually going on, that's the kind of thing that you'd have in a scene with a more relaxed and humorous mood, not when you're trying to set up a feel of death, desperation, despair and general gloominess.

The rest of the story pretty much goes by the same formula: There are really good parts, and really bad parts.
And sadly, the bad parts pull the good parts down too much.

The only other major thing I'd like to note is that the end is a bit too... undefined.
I am aware that open-end endings are a big thing in literature, but for a story this short an ending with so many loose ends is just not... good.

In short: Above-average, but too much below-average stuff to make it matter.

Da Fist's Entry: The Incarnated Soldier of Thanatos

Plot: 6/10
Eloquence: 4/10
Ease of Reading: 4/10
True to the Theme: 5/5

Score: 19

Although the over-arching action of the story was somewhat generic, I must admit it had some interesting features that you don't tend to see often.
However, it is sadly riddled by quite a few bits of bad grammar that break the flow of the story.
It is also clear that you've got a whole bunch of ideas hidden away inside your psyche, and as with many others your problem is the execution of the storytelling, not the story itself.
Keep that in mind and keep writing.

In Short: Average, but in Greece!

CurseTime's Entry: Cursed Vengeance

Plot: 4/10
Eloquence: 2/10
Ease of Reading: 4/10
True to the Theme: 1/5

Score: 11

This was generic. Very, very generic.
I'm really sorry if this comes off as kinda' rude, but I can't really find anything in this that isn't a huge cliché.
It's a story about a man, whose family has been killed, who goes to avenge said family on a graveyard, which he does without problems and with extreme badassery, and it turns out it is not a single-sided story of righteous vengeance as the main character was, in fact, the one who murdered the murderers family to begin with!
And then he gets a phantasmal glimpse of a dead family member who tells him that he should move on with life. Perhaps get a proper full-time job, maybe find a new woman to share his life with, or just stop with the whole 'killing people' thing, which seems to have been a big issue.

Eh, alright, it's a pretty good cliché, and it's always nice reading about a bad guy gettin' beat up, but... it's still one of the history of the world's biggest clichés. Ever.

It does a have a few elements which could have been good, but neither of them get time to breathe or develop.
There's something about a promise to not take life for granted, which apparently he... breaks by avenging the murder of his family? I don't quite get that one.
It might have been an interesting plot device, something making him reluctant to pull out the deadly deed, something which might actually have made him lose the fight at first, only then to rise from the ashes and break the promise in a fit of rage (which would also be a cliché, by the way.) but despite the somewhat prominent buildup nothing of the sort ever happens.

On top of all this, the grammar and cutting of the story does not help.
You make tons of grammatical mistakes around the place, and I see several spots where you mix up the past and current tense.
And as a last comment, I really don't see how this has anything to do with the theme. I might be a total ignoramus and have missed something huge on ALL of my readings, but the only return-from-the-dead related thing I can find in this is the short phantasmal glimpse of the main character's wife.
And... That's too far-fetched from the theme. No excuses to be made here.


In short: Not all that good. Don't let this discourage you, though!


Brambleclaw's Entry: Clichéception

Plot: 5/10
Eloquence: 4/10
Ease of Reading: 4/10
True to the Theme: 5/5

Score: 18

Okay, I get it. This whole story is meant to be a joke.
That's very nice, and sure I got a good chuckle out of the cliché'd hero Cli Che, who was raised by wolves in Bro's Kebob Mountains.
But after that initial chuckle, which was very short, I didn't really find anything very laugh-worthy in the story, and at this point it was no longer possible to take anything in it seriously.
It was like the story wasn't sure whether it wanted me to take it seriously or laugh at it.
In the end, this created a very dull read, which seemed kinda' pointless after the initial gag. And to add to all this, this is a cliché even among parodies of clichés.

The grammar wasn't too great either, and considering that the very first thing that greets the reader is a typo the story comes off as a very unpolished piece of work.
I'm gonna' take a guess, tho, and say that had it not been for the sometimes-crushing grammatical mistakes the story would have had a pretty sweet flow.

And... That's pretty much all I have to say.

In short: An attempt to make fun of clichés that ends up becoming a cliché. Now that's a plot twist!



DeathKing12's Entry: The Pride of a Soldier

Plot: 2/10
Eloquence: 1/10
Ease of Reading: 2/10
True to the Theme: 5/5

Score: 10

Well, um... This story was very short. Generally I don't judge stories on their length, as even extra-short stories can be really good if they are written in a way that works with their length.
This piece of literature did not do that.
The grammar was overall pretty bad, and most of it didn't make much sense. It was possible to make out a plot, and some sort of action going on, but it really wasn't very fun reading or in any way captivating.

So, yeah, in short: It was pretty bad. I don't have much else to say.


Firedragoner's Entry: Frozen Retribution

Plot: 5/10
Eloquence: 6/10
Ease of Reading: 6/10
True to the Theme: 5/5

Score: 22

To my own surprise, I really enjoyed this read.
It was short, simple, and all-in-all pretty generic. The plot was nothing too special, and the storytelling wasn't either, although I’d say they were both close to being above-average.
But, although this wasn't anything very extraordinary, it didn't have anything that dragged it down either.
Most of the other stories have either had some big grammatical mistake or a few lines where the flow is completely broken. This had none of that.
Sure, it had a few minor grammar issues around the place, but they're almost unnoticable.
And.... That's about what I have to say.
Real' good job.

In short: Overall Pretty Sweet.


Dsgamer's Entry: Dark Prophecy

Plot: 5/10
Eloquence: 7/10
Ease of Reading: 4/10
True to the Theme: 5/5

Score: 21

First of all: Kudos for writing it in verse. That kinda' thing takes guts.
Apart from that I’ve got a few things to say about your story.
The plot is pretty average, and there isn't much to say about it. I can imagine that had you not used such an interesting way of telling the story it might have been painfully forgettable.
However, while I do think it was a good idea to write in verse I am not sure it was a good idea to make it rhyme.
Most of the rhymes seem really far-fetched, to the point where you're sacrificing the quality of the story just to get a rhyme in, and that's not good.
In the beginning it's pretty clever, but even in the clever parts I get the feeling that you're very much treading water.
And, strangely enough, I also sometimes get the feeling that there's actually too many rhymes. I think you should have cut the amount of rhymes in half, so that instead of every line of text being forced to rhyme with the next one it's on every second line instead.
This way the rhymes would've unclogged a little, making them feel more like an asset to the story and less like a gimmick, and possibly also raise the quality of them a little bit.

One thing, though, which writing in rhyme did do quite effectively, is making it very hard for me to find more relevant stuff to say about your story.
So, I'm gonna' cut the judging here.

In short: Decent, but with rhymes!




_PV's Entry: The Paragon

Plot: 5/10
Eloquence: 6/10
Ease of Reading: 7/10
True to the Theme: 5/5

Score: 24

In all honesty I was pretty surprised to see not one, but TWO entries written in rhymes.
You guys have guts, I'll give you that.
You've got a pretty good groove going with this story, and although the plot is generic the storytelling does have some ways to make itself shine.
The rhymes themselves range from being really good, to being... decent.
Grammatical mistakes here and there break things apart, but the flow manages to maintain itself pretty well the entire way through.

In short: Job well done. Not much to say on my part.


RiotZ' Entry: Bane of Appleton

Plot: 7/10
Eloquence: 7/10
Ease of Reading: 7/10
True to the Theme: 5/5

Score: 26

This was truly a jewel.
All the way through the story, I didn't at any point feel like taking a break from reading, grabbing a cup of tea or any of the many things that usually distract me from my task.
The plot was simple, but unique enough to not be a cliché. It was well told, the story was well executed, the grammatical mistakes were at a minimum, the ending left me with that priceless feeling of epic... All-in-all a job damn well done.


In Short: Easily above-average. Keep writing!


Darthmechas' Entry: An Unnamed tale of Diary Retrieval

Plot: 6/10
Eloquence: 7/10
Ease of Reading: 5/10
True to the Theme: 5/5

Score: 23

This was a pretty good story.
The plot worked pretty well, and... Well, it wasn't too generic. Although a lot of the elements in it are some pretty basic stuff, the whole thing adds up to a decent and somewhat creative tale.
The only real critique I have is on your grammar. Despite your general eloquence, which is gonna' let you get away with a smooth seven, there are a few places where you really messed up. One place in particular I seriously took a break from reading, went into the kitchen, got a good cup of tea, drank that tea, then face-palmed.
Now, this is mostly an opinion thing, but I really think you should be aware of how stupid this makes your otherwise fine piece of work look;
Having more than one exclamation point on the same word, is not okay.
Technically, this is grammatically accepted, but it's just so... lame! I mean, really. When you're reading a well-written book, you'll probably see a lot of !'s, and you might even see some !?'s, but NEVER will you see a two !'s put together at the end of a word.
It looks stupid, and it feels stupid.
The general use of more than one exclamation point is to put even more emphasis on a word than one exclamation point would, I get that, but this is so much more effectively done with other methods.
Here, an example:

The wind blew like a hurricane at the top of the mountain. The valley lying below was a beautiful sight, even with the fires of war raging in it's midst.
As he stood there, watching what had turned out to be the last home of his people, it filled him with a mix of despair and anger.
At the top of his lungs he roared, his voice so powerful that even the wind could not stop it;
“I AM STILL HERE!”

Here, instead of having a ton of exclamation points I describe in the text how powerful his voice is, that kind of description basically being what multiple exclamation points are standing in for.
Use elements in the story like how the the environment adds to the sound of what characters say to make it clear how loud what they say are, not exclamation points.
Same goes for question marks, by the way.

In short: Very few issues, but big ones.

Allain55x's Entry: The Undead Knight, Kel'thas!

Plot: 2/10
Eloquence: 1/10
Ease of Reading: 1/10
True to the Theme: 5/5

Score: 8

Okay, first off: This is not very good.
The story lacks in general eloquence, it doesn't make much sense anywhere, a lot of it seems to be taken from video-game scenarios, the names are pretty ridiculous (The main character's name is literally Kael'thas missing one of the A's), there is no pacing and it very quickly becomes virtually unreadable by turning into a wall of text.

I mean, I can see that you tried very hard and you've written quite a lot, and I really don't want to discourage you from writing, but as of right now you're way out of your league.

In Short: Not Good.

Codric's Entry: The Slaying

Plot: 5/10
Eloquence: 5/10
Ease of Reading: 4/10
True to the Theme: 5/5

Score: 19

This story is off to a pretty interesting start.
You have a man, in a cave, killing some 'fowl creatures' (are they chickens?) in a very brutal manner. So far so good.
Then, there's twenty lines of text featuring a nondescript man doing an equally nondescript bit of traveling. Not so good.
The impression I get from your story is that it's got two things: A lot of time put into it, and a lot of missed potential.
The plot, although being almost non-existent at first, seems to have a lot of good ideas and mechanics that could have resulted in a great story. While most of them are pretty basic and bordering on the lines of being cliché, it could have been a good story nonetheless.
However, it comes off as pretty... plain.
It wasn't really fun to read, and there was next to nothing pulling the reader to keep on reading for most of the story.
On top of that, huge parts of it lack punctuation, use punctuation that shouldn't have been there or just punctuation that is plain wrong. Added to this is a wide variety of different spelling mistakes which makes the whole ordeal pretty hard to read, and sometimes result in a complete absence of any kind of flow.
Another mistake you make is one which I can personally remember quite clearly making myself; Every line, and I say EVERY LINE, ends after a full stop is used. The entire way through, it adds a new line of text to the page whenever someone ends their sentence or a full stop is used in the text. This is not a good idea, and adds even more to the shattering of the flow.

Another thing you should be aware of is that almost every line starts with 'the' or 'he'. This adds to the staleness, and makes part of the story seem kinda' like a list.
The length of the story sadly doesn't help these issues, although it did get a lot better closer to the end.

In short: Decent.

Nicolas CB's Entry: Woe of Ages

Plot: 4/10
Eloquence: 4/10
Ease of Reading: 2/10
True to the Theme: 5/5

Score: 15

Okay, First off: I can see something very colorful, imaginative and creative in your writing, somewhere behind the oodles of problems that it has.
With time and practice, I imagine you'll write some great things.
However, as of right now, your story is not very good.
.
It's incredibly confusing to read, and first halfway through my second reading of it did I realize that you were jumping back and forth in time during the telling of the story.
There are too many people, too many things that are unexplained and too much stuff that just doesn't make sense.
Now, I can imagine it probably would make sense if it had context. But it does not have context.
Statements, people, names and whatnot that seems like they should have more effect than they do are thrown at us without any explanation whatsoever.
And on top of that, the awkward cutting that seems to happen almost at random and completely unnecessarily completely breaks the story's flow.

You use a lot of fancy words, and in general your writing (not story writing, writing) is pretty good, but it comes across as if you know too many words which you have a vague idea of what context to use in, but which you still don't know enough about to make them actually work in a story.
And, eh, honestly? You're really overdoing the whole Old English thing.
As much as I love using Old English speech myself, and really it is an amazing thing to dish out when you can use it right, you're just using it plain... wrong.
It doesn't fit into the story at all, and the characters that speak it would have much more effect if they spoke normally.
It seems like slapstick, unnecessary and ineffectual.

In short: Had potential, didn't reach it.

Fussiler1's Entry: Among the Trees

Plot: 6/10
Eloquence: 8/10
Ease of Reading: 5/10
True to the Theme: 3/5

Score: 22

Had it not been for a few, repeated, and highly apparent mistakes in grammar (Like for example 'a wood' where it should have been 'a forest' and 'leafs' where it should have been 'leaves') this would have been a 10/10 in Eloquence.
It's a very beautifully told story, and the words used add to the theme nicely.
However, it doesn't really have much of a pull to it.

Once I'd read to the end of the intro, it started getting a bit dull. Everything was moving very slowly, and the story took it's sweet time putting extra emphasis on detail.
While elaborations on how things look/feel/smell/seem/whathaveyou can add greatly to the feel of a story, having too many of them spread out over too little actual action just makes it seem dull.
This story suffers greatly from this; It suffers from (and seriously, a year or so ago I wouldn't have believed this to be even possible) over-literacy.
This would have been a lot less of a problem had the story not been as predictable and really quite dull as it is. Don't get me wrong, it's got some nice battle going on and such things, but there's really very little reason for the reader to care.
In a story as short as this, you don't have time to build up and establish characters very much. In your story, all we really get to know about the character we're following is that he has a wife that he wants to get home to, that he's the leader of a bunch of troops and that he'd really prefer to just be at home.
What we don't get told is why we should care for this person any more than the rest of the people in the battle.
I mean, at the end of the whole thing, the most interesting characters to me seemed to be either the 'honorless brutes' or the king, and all we got to know about him was that he was supposedly a darn good fighter and a terribly valiant person.
The fact that you almost never use paragraphs and turn the sections into walls of text doesn't help with this, and it was pretty tiresome and confusing to read through the biggest of them.

At the end of the day, you had some good ideas that weren't carried out properly, some interesting devices for a plot (although highly predictable) and some above-average-yet-lacking eloquence.
And... I'm really not seeing how this is very true to the theme.
Any real indication of death and the return from it is only shown in the form of waking up from a dream and at the very end of the story, and even then there's no real indication of whether or not this is just the poor man's mind playing tricks on him or an actual revival. A slight bit too sketchy and bordering on the territory of too-symbolic to get a 5/5 score on 'True to the Theme'.

In Short: A story with good writing that still doesn't come off as very interesting.



Final Results:
3rd Place: Darthmecha
2nd Place: _PV
1st Place: RiotZ


Final Comments:
After judging all of your stories I can say with great certainty that many of you can (and probably will) write great things with further practice.
Some of you didn't do very well in this contest, but that shouldn't discourage you. If it does, then you have my condolences and my disdain, as honestly that would be horribly spineless.

I recommend to all of you to look at the works of famous authors for inspiration and improvement. A good place to start would be anything by Tolkien, but for some of you I can imagine that isn't where you'd want to turn your attention.

Keep writing, and keep participating in these contests. Personally they've taught me a lot.

Congratulations to the winners, and wishes of good luck in the next contests to everyone else.
-Dragonson
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top