People who went off the rail

[Reon]

A lot of that just sounds like a "breaking into your twenties" kind of deal. Some people have their teenage revolution way later in life, and it's always a bit wilder because you've got different circumstances and more leeway to try out your wings.

thats one POS way to "break into your twenties" and i don't believe it for a second, that person way likely was just a complete POS with no regards towards others, thats it, not mentally ill, not problems, just some asshole who seems to like hurting others

 

[:Elite:]

After giving this subject matter some thought, I don't think the person I mentioned had mental illness; it just doesn't look like mental illness in any way once you examine it in detail. I actually spend some time reading up on NPD or Narcissistic Personality disorder, just now, and the person I mentioned would not fit all the criterion, nor can the disorder really characterize him or his actions. Psychopathy is a general term, I mean people just use it to describe anybody who does something which they consider really inappropriate. Anti-social personality, well no, the person had friends, don't really think they liked him much, but it wasn't that. You were right in saying the person was a POS, I think at some point he realized he could get away with things as long as he has the right excuse after the fact, or simply ditch a social group for some time until they are no longer angry with him. I remember way before this whole thing started he used to talk major thrash about others for no apparent reason, I mean people who did nothing against him in any way.

Here is a list of what the things the person did so you can judge for yourself (some of these are repeats of the things I mentioned in my previous reply)

beat up some guy, later gave the excuse that the person he beat up was harassing some girl, I think he went to jail for this one

talked major thrash behind one of his close friends back for no reason

basically used a person to get money while pretending to be his friend

took his mom's car for a joyride while having a suspended license, crashed the car on 2 occasions, both times told the investigators the car was stolen

punched several people for no reason while his friends were around so they wouldn't try to fight him back

attempted to punch or wrestle a person who was a lot more stronger than him and got beaten up badly in the process

walked around with a pocket knife going down the street and slashing every car's tires on it

tried instigating a fight between 2 people over a minor disagreement

succeeded in instigating a fight between 2 people - he did not get anything out of it

beat up some old guy, later came up with an excuse to why he did it -again did not benefit him in any way

tried to get one person to sue his friend over some minor scuffle -the person never sued but this would not benefit him in any way

These are only the things that I am aware of, I'm sure there's more, but you can see the general pattern, in most of these actions he hurts someone while not really benefiting much and @TheLordOfChaos201 as far as I know he was not having a bad life

Looks like someone who tried really hard to be a gangster. except for that sueing thing-thats sort of out of place

 

[Feng Shui]

thats one POS way to "break into your twenties" and i don't believe it for a second, that person way likely was just a complete POS with no regards towards others, thats it, not mentally ill, not problems, just some asshole who seems to like hurting others

A lot of people are pieces of shits during early adulthood. Some break under the added social pressure, new responsibilities, and opportunity to make your own choices. This is more than most, sure, but the leap isn't massive.

 

[Reon]

@Feng Shui I can understand people being difficult during a time of stress, but not this

 

[:Elite:]

A scumbag is a scumbag is a scumbag. What more do you people need to understand???

 

[Lord Esdin]

Maybe why would someone comming from a good background having a decent life would suddenly change and start doing things like this

 

[Reon]

A scumbag is a scumbag is a scumbag. What more do you people need to understand???

if it was only that simple..

 

[Lord Esdin]

A lot of people are pieces of shits during early adulthood. Some break under the added social pressure, new responsibilities, and opportunity to make your own choices. This is more than most, sure, but the leap isn't massive.

There is a difference between what I can describe and the way the person actually was, if you'd seen his behavior you'd agree with me that its either mental illness or he was the king of scumbags

 

[Spear]

After giving this subject matter some thought, I don't think the person I mentioned had mental illness; it just doesn't look like mental illness in any way once you examine it in detail. I actually spend some time reading up on NPD or Narcissistic Personality disorder, just now, and the person I mentioned would not fit all the criterion, nor can the disorder really characterize him or his actions. Psychopathy is a general term, I mean people just use it to describe anybody who does something which they consider really inappropriate. Anti-social personality, well no, the person had friends, don't really think they liked him much, but it wasn't that. You were right in saying the person was a POS, I think at some point he realized he could get away with things as long as he has the right excuse after the fact, or simply ditch a social group for some time until they are no longer angry with him. I remember way before this whole thing started he used to talk major thrash about others for no apparent reason, I mean people who did nothing against him in any way.

Here is a list of what the things the person did so you can judge for yourself (some of these are repeats of the things I mentioned in my previous reply)

beat up some guy, later gave the excuse that the person he beat up was harassing some girl, I think he went to jail for this one

talked major thrash behind one of his close friends back for no reason

basically used a person to get money while pretending to be his friend

took his mom's car for a joyride while having a suspended license, crashed the car on 2 occasions, both times told the investigators the car was stolen

punched several people for no reason while his friends were around so they wouldn't try to fight him back

attempted to punch or wrestle a person who was a lot more stronger than him and got beaten up badly in the process

walked around with a pocket knife going down the street and slashing every car's tires on it

tried instigating a fight between 2 people over a minor disagreement

succeeded in instigating a fight between 2 people - he did not get anything out of it

beat up some old guy, later came up with an excuse to why he did it -again did not benefit him in any way

tried to get one person to sue his friend over some minor scuffle -the person never sued but this would not benefit him in any way

These are only the things that I am aware of, I'm sure there's more, but you can see the general pattern, in most of these actions he hurts someone while not really benefiting much and @TheLordOfChaos201 as far as I know he was not having a bad life

I'm not a psychiatrist or psychologist or anything close to that in profession. However to me it looks like the individual in question has lots of narcissistic traits, dont know if its enough to qualify him as being a textbook narcissist but hes definitely up there somewhere . . .I would cut any and all ties with such an individual if I were you btw, these sort of people tend to go on downward spirals and take everyone they are close to along with them - just my 2 cents on the subject

 

[Feng Shui]

There is a difference between what I can describe and the way the person actually was, if you'd seen his behavior you'd agree with me that its either mental illness or he was the king of scumbags

This is a terrible format for this type of discussion. You can swear to me that he is and was a certain way and I can't exactly tell one way or the other.

What I can tell you both, is that this type of behavior isn't that uncommon, and that that's something that'll likely be hammered into you as you grow older.

Doesn't excuse the behavior, and you don't need to take it upon yourselves to "save" the people in question.

If saying they're mentally ill and/or just dickwads helps you through the day, then by all means stick to that.

 

[Lord Esdin]

What I can tell you both, is that this type of behavior isn't that uncommon, and that that's something that'll likely be hammered into you as you grow older.

You're probably right, I just haven't witnessed this type of behavior firsthand from people of a similar background who appear to have no problems

 

[:Elite:]

it just doesnt make sense to me why some of us can't get that some people are just scumbags

its not a mental problem or disorder: a person choses to be a scumbag . . that is it

 

[Reon]

listen @:Elite: you may have a point. but it seems like its deeper than that, or maybe i just need a better explanation than that....

 

[deepstrasz]

 

[TheLordOfChaos201]

Personally what I would do is drug them, kidnap them, tie them up, then interrogate them

Be smart, don't be a retard, psychologically damage all your friends until you find out what their problem is

How else are you supposed to help them, unless you know what is wrong

be good to your friends and life will be kind to you

 

[Lord Esdin]

@:Elite: you do have a point, usually behaviors have underlying causes though

@TheLordOfChaos201 its kind of hard to be good to a friend who is acting like a total snake

 

[TheLordOfChaos201]

@:Elite: you do have a point, usually behaviors have underlying causes though

@TheLordOfChaos201 its kind of hard to be good to a friend who is acting like a total snake

I'm generally quite rough on my friends. This one time I punched my friend in the gut and made him cry because I felt like he was acting too tough considering his brother just died. Sometimes people can be stupid with their emotions and it just isn't healthy. Kindness isn't always nodding your head and agreeing with your friends, sometimes you have to hurt them before you can heal

 

[:Elite:]

@:Elite: you do have a point, usually behaviors have underlying causes though

some people are or become snakes - and chances are you or i or anyone else will never know why

 

[Feng Shui]

 

[Reon]

some people are or become snakes - and chances are you or i or anyone else will never know why

you may be right. however its very hard to process that someone you knew so well and regarded as a good person could suddenly do things like that and totally change

 

[Lord Esdin]

some people are or become snakes - and chances are you or i or anyone else will never know why

Whether we like the answer or not, I believe this is factually correct..........

 

[RollBoat]

You can read humans' emotions, based on the fact that we humans have a very complex system of communication with pheromones or other body chemicals that get released out from it. Most people base their actions on emotions as you cannot part humans with their emotions as they are part of the reptilian brain that still exits to this day, so based on that yeah you can read people, not 100 % but you can do that and it relies mostly on connection with your spleen, your gut, your neurons, mostly you need to be gifted subconsciously.

My theory is that the chemicals that our body releases contain information that when in contact with the biological body(humans), updates the system of the receiver with the information about the mental composition of the body of the individual that has released the information in the first place and all this happens subconsciously. The problem is our consciousness is unable to process that data because of its individual components as it cannot access the subconscious mind directly which is a shame. It explains why some people have a hard time understanding the lack of rationality in people who rely mostly on their senses and instincts.

Scientists Say Everyone Can Read Minds | Live Science

 

[Spear]

You can read humans' emotions, based on the fact that we humans have a very complex system of communication with pheromones or other body chemicals that get released out from it. Most people base their actions on emotions as you cannot part humans with their emotions as they are part of the reptilian brain that still exits to this day, so based on that yeah you can read people, not 100 % but you can do that and it relies mostly on connection with your spleen, your gut, your neurons, mostly you need to be gifted subconsciously.

My theory is that the chemicals that our body releases contain information that when in contact with the biological body(humans), updates the system of the receiver with the information about the mental composition of the body of the individual that has released the information in the first place and all this happens subconsciously. The problem is our consciousness is unable to process that data because of its individual components as it cannot access the subconscious mind directly which is a shame. It explains why some people have a hard time understanding the lack of rationality in people who rely mostly on their senses and instincts.

Scientists Say Everyone Can Read Minds | Live Science

valid point

 

[TheLordOfChaos201]

One of my friends was always being mean to me, until he got a girlfriend, then all of a sudden he was super appreciative of my existence

In conclusion, perhaps your friends just need a girlfriend and their attitude problem is because they are finding life HARD without love and understanding

Perhaps instead of punching them into submission, you need to hug them and tell them that they will always have you as a friend. That there is no getting rid of you because you will stick to them like a leech and suck them dry of their pain

 

[Spear]

One of my friends was always being mean to me, until he got a girlfriend, then all of a sudden he was super appreciative of my existence

In conclusion, perhaps your friends just need a girlfriend and their attitude problem is because they are finding life HARD without love and understanding

Perhaps instead of punching them into submission, you need to hug them and tell them that they will always have you as a friend. That there is no getting rid of you because you will stick to them like a leech and suck them dry of their pain

You're saying you would stay friends with someone who's toxic only for his benefit? You're one weird dude

 

[TheLordOfChaos201]

You're saying you would stay friends with someone who's toxic only for his benefit? You're one weird dude

I've done so before. I just love my friends a lot... and I kind of figure love is staying with someone even when they are bitter and mean. Sure they can even be abusive, doesn't mean i won't punch back or slip poison into their drink when they aren't looking.

Even if my friends are mentally handicapped, blind, or otherwise impaired. I will still hang out with them

A horrible attitude is no different from being afflicted with some terrible disease

 

[Spear]

I dont know how someone can be around toxic people, not only can it worsen your life but it can rub off on you so that you display a similar rind of negativity

Why do you think some people cant have friends in real life...these people dont need a friend, they need a psychiatrist

 

[Reon]

You're saying you would stay friends with someone who's toxic only for his benefit? You're one weird dude

this sums up my thoughts........

 

[TheLordOfChaos201]

I'll rock you to sleep, and hug away your pain

In what ever manner I see fit whether you like it or not

I want my friend back, you can't have him

 

[Spear]

@TheLordOfChaos201

All jokes aside, have you heard of the saying :

With friends like these who needs enemies?

 

[TheLordOfChaos201]

@TheLordOfChaos201

All jokes aside, have you heard of the saying :

With friends like these who needs enemies?

Uhm I don't really see it as a problem. It means I get to test out poisons and drugs I've made and haven't had the chance to try out on humans.

Like I seriously don't get how doctors can turn away a person who is desperate for a cure and instead say, "Sorry but there is nothing more I can do for you"

I would jump for joy at the opportunity! Now I get to test out all the options that might kill you but in the process I might find a cure

 

[Spear]

Jump for joy at being/become a doormat for someone?

 

[Lord Esdin]

@Spear

@TheLordOfChaos201

Here's my take on this:

Generally I've noticed that there are 3 types of people who lack friends:

The loners (they prefer to be alone and there's nothing wrong with that)

Snakes/Backstabbers

People with toxic personalities


No one wants to handle extra BS - if you do maybe some sort of personal therapy/counseling could be a good career path for you

 

[Spear]

@Spear

@TheLordOfChaos201

Here's my take on this:

Generally I've noticed that there are 3 types of people who lack friends:

The loners (they prefer to be alone and there's nothing wrong with that)

Snakes/Backstabbers

People with toxic personalities


No one wants to handle extra BS - if you do maybe some sort of personal therapy/counseling could be a good career path for you

I think you're missing the issue here, toxic people tend to drag you down psychologically. There is no benefit to being around them and by doing so you're only screwing yourself over. @TheLordOfChaos201 is saying that he wants to have a chance at fixing the person despite having to do so will be detrimental to him. The problem with this is you're trying to fix the incurable, this is not gonna happen, but you will definitely be dragged down by attempting it.

 

[TheLordOfChaos201]

@Spear

I guess I can't talk because I haven't really tried it yet. I just abuse my friends before they get the chance to develop into an asshole. I've never walked up to a complete stranger and attempted to fix them

 

[Spear]

I've done so before. I just love my friends a lot... and I kind of figure love is staying with someone even when they are bitter and mean. Sure they can even be abusive, doesn't mean i won't punch back or slip poison into their drink when they aren't looking.

Even if my friends are mentally handicapped, blind, or otherwise impaired. I will still hang out with them

A horrible attitude is no different from being afflicted with some terrible disease

Ok. Here you said you stick to your friends despite them being toxic.

And that a bad attitude is no different than being stricken by a disease.

There is a big difference because someone effected by a disease will not negatively impact those around them, while a toxic personality will. (Also many diseases are curable)

Again you cant fix something that's incurable and it makes absolutely no sense to stick with someone who only psychologically drags you down, there is absolutely no benefits to this situation, it's just detrimental to you.

 

[Lord Esdin]

@Spear

Look if someone prefers to poison his life by being around toxic people let him, whatever makes you happy right?

 

[Scorpio]

I dont think anyone wants to be around toxic people - hes just saying that on an internet forum irl when you encounter toxic behavior you will get fed up and simple avoid the person.

My friend had a girl who was particularly toxic, but he liked her because she was both hot and considerably younger than he was, now she was a bit crazy and after he broke up with her she would find ways to get money out of him, in one instance it was telling him she needed money for an abortion from him, in another instance claiming that she was severly ill and needed it to pay for hospitals, once she even went as far as to call him and tell him that she'll report him for rape if he didn't send her money.
He got rid of her by basically going to a different city, and she found some dude who was old enough to be her dad, and my friend was happy to be left alone. Now after some time the old dude got tired of her and shes back to trying to get with my friend, except now he doesn't wanna have anything to do with her.

Lessons from this: people will put up with toxic people to an extent, but once it gets too much they will leave and do whatever it takes to stay away from the person.

 

[Spear]

@Lord Esdin

This

I dont think anyone wants to be around toxic people - hes just saying that on an internet forum irl when you encounter toxic behavior you will get fed up and simple avoid the person.

Also I think some people may get "desensitized" to someone's toxicity, basically not notice it but once they hang out with other people they will start to be more aware of it and will then distance themselves from the toxic individual.

Secondly it depends on how much time you have to spend with the toxic person and how toxic he is, lots of time and highly toxic - anyone would run. People may tolerate little time with a highly toxic person or more time with a person who is only a little toxic, but it varies from person to person. But as I've stated before no one will want to be around toxic people......besides maybe psychiatrist who get paid for it.

 

[Lord Esdin]

I dont think anyone wants to be around toxic people - hes just saying that on an internet forum irl when you encounter toxic behavior you will get fed up and simple avoid the person.

My friend had a girl who was particularly toxic, but he liked her because she was both hot and considerably younger than he was, now she was a bit crazy and after he broke up with her she would find ways to get money out of him, in one instance it was telling him she needed money for an abortion from him, in another instance claiming that she was severly ill and needed it to pay for hospitals, once she even went as far as to call him and tell him that she'll report him for rape if he didn't send her money.
He got rid of her by basically going to a different city, and she found some dude who was old enough to be her dad, and my friend was happy to be left alone. Now after some time the old dude got tired of her and shes back to trying to get with my friend, except now he doesn't wanna have anything to do with her.

Lessons from this: people will put up with toxic people to an extent, but once it gets too much they will leave and do whatever it takes to stay away from the person.

That's a hell of a story there

@Spear I agree with you but I dont wanna waste time debating on the internet about it, if @TheLordOfChaos201 says says he likes being around toxic people, let him be around toxic people. I personally don't think he actually does in real life...but thats just my opinion...if he does kudos to him, but toxicity is what everyone strives to get away from, even trained professionals (psychiatrists, psychologists, etc.) can go crazy from dealing with it so I doubt he's any different.

@Scorpio The lady you described isn't just toxic; thats a total snake right there. There's no wonder your friend decided to run from her, people like that dig their own ditches...there's no excuse or justification for that type of behavior

 

[Scorpio]

It was not just my friend - it was more like every guy that girl has ever been with

look at it this way - if some guy who was twice her age (he was ~40 years old) got rid of her - she has problems

 

[Lord Esdin]

@Scorpio

All I can say is: what loony bin did he find her in?

 

[Reon]

this has strayed so far from the original topic....

 

[EnterpriseReforged]

this has strayed so far from the original topic....

I was thinking this same thing reading through this.... at one point I was even confused at what I was reading.

 

[Togra_blah]

What exactly did you want addressed in your original message?

You are, I expect, the only person who knows the individual who went through this, to you, unexpected transformation.

It sounded like you'd been out of contact for about a year.

You mentioned reading people.

That one year gap seems somewhat akin to skipping a few novels in a series and expecting to still know what's what.

IMO, you have at least a few options.

Try to reconnect, fill in the gap, get to know the person again if you have the means and drive to do so and it can be done *safely* (safety does seem like it could be an issue with this individual now, by your account).

Get in contact with people close to them and encourage them get the individual to seek professional help as, from where I sit, it sounds like the person in question could benefit from it.

Possibly try to consider why the situation is eating at you - is it because of what's happening to the person, or is there something else in play?

IMO, that of some random guy on the internet, it seems like you're hoping someone will have the answer as to why what happened happened.

We can guess, debate, consider, surmise, but it's possible no one, including the person who underwent the change, knows the whole story.

If they were mentally compromised in some manner or another - there are plenty of venues and I feel no need to name any - even *they* may not have the insight into the why.

As the bumper sticker says, s*** happens.

However, understanding said excrement - in the scope of emotional trauma - and "cleaning up" after it is a job for mental health professionals, if you ask me.

 

[Spear]

this has strayed so far from the original topic....

Cant think of anything more to add that hasnt yet been stated

 

[Reon]

What exactly did you want addressed in your original message?

You are, I expect, the only person who knows the individual who went through this, to you, unexpected transformation.

It sounded like you'd been out of contact for about a year.

You mentioned reading people.

That one year gap seems somewhat akin to skipping a few novels in a series and expecting to still know what's what.

IMO, you have at least a few options.

Try to reconnect, fill in the gap, get to know the person again if you have the means and drive to do so and it can be done *safely* (safety does seem like it could be an issue with this individual now, by your account).

Get in contact with people close to them and encourage them get the individual to seek professional help as, from where I sit, it sounds like the person in question could benefit from it.

Possibly try to consider why the situation is eating at you - is it because of what's happening to the person, or is there something else in play?

IMO, that of some random guy on the internet, it seems like you're hoping someone will have the answer as to why what happened happened.

We can guess, debate, consider, surmise, but it's possible no one, including the person who underwent the change, knows the whole story.

If they were mentally compromised in some manner or another - there are plenty of venues and I feel no need to name any - even *they* may not have the insight into the why.

As the bumper sticker says, s*** happens.

However, understanding said excrement - in the scope of emotional trauma - and "cleaning up" after it is a job for mental health professionals, if you ask me.

i cant really get in contact with him because i dont know where hes at and as far as I know he has pushed all his former friends away. i thought he was still talking to one of our mutual friends but the friend told me he basically cant stand him and hasnt been in contact in months, maybe the people in the thread are right and he is just a pos

 

[Lord Esdin]

@Togra_blah good advice

@Reon if thats the case then just stay away from him and forget about it, as I've mentioned before I've had a similar experience and I just stay away from the person now, still don't know what happened but its just best to distance yourself from these types of individuals

 

[Lord Esdin]

in that case you're right, he's just a pos, stay away from him

 

[Reon]

I will/am