People who went off the rail

[Spear]

i cant really get in contact with him because i dont know where hes at and as far as I know he has pushed all his former friends away. i thought he was still talking to one of our mutual friends but the friend told me he basically cant stand him and hasnt been in contact in months, maybe the people in the thread are right and he is just a pos

Glad this thread helped you out in some way

 

[Reon]

Glad this thread helped you out in some way

thanks it helped me get things into perspective as Ive realized he has alienated everyone who was once close to him,

 

[Spear]

Sometimes you dont know the real person, what you know is simply a facade that you mistake for what he is

 

[Reon]

Sometimes you dont know the real person, what you know is simply a facade that you mistake for what he is

I agree..but i feel like the matter is a great deal more complicated than this

 

[Spear]

Complicated? What do you mean?

 

[Reon]

I mean its difficult to understand...nvrmind

 

[Spear]

Some people are just very good at hiding behind masks and lying, they may even lie to themselves to the point where they believe their own bs, that's about it

 

[Reon]

I think he either had really good impression management; like managing how he acted in front of certain people to convince them of how he is, or maybe mood swings or something

idk maybe im overthinking the issue here

 

[Spear]

I think it comes down to this: how well do you know your friends?

 

[Lord Esdin]

I think it comes down to this: how well do you know your friends?

Thats a good point, but its easy to misjudge someone

 

[Spear]

In what sense?

 

[Lord Esdin]

@Spear

I mean lets say you know someone for a long time, he may have changed but you still think he's the same person and trust him as if he was, also knowing someone for a long time is different than knowing someone really well, you can know someone for a while but that doesn't mean you know him well

 

[Spear]

It's really about how close you are to someone not how long you've known him, but the longer you've known him the more experience you've had from which to judge his character, am I incorrect?

 

[Reon]

To know a person well you have to know him for a long time + hang out frequently

I thought I was good at reading people, now I am a bit doubtful of my own ability

 

[Spear]

Doubtful because of one person?

 

[Reon]

Him and some other ppl I thought were good

 

[Spear]

Maybe you just had bad luck with a few people

 

[Reon]

maybe

 

[Spear]

Just forget about the person this topic is about, that will probably be the best for you...

 

[Reon]

ye I just feel like I needed some outside opinion

 

[Spear]

Just dont let one instance like that ruin your faith in people, there will always be some bad apples.

 

[Reon]

Just dont let one instance like that ruin your faith in people, there will always be some bad apples.

No that wont happen, but when you find out how wrong you were about somebody it makes you question your own decisions and judgement does this make sense?

 

[Spear]

@Reon

Yes and it's normal, your confidence in your decisions will be back soon. Simply stay away from the individual and others like him now that you've learned all this

 

[Reon]

Hope you're right

 

[Lord Esdin]

So no more discussions of toxicity?

 

[Spear]

I stand by what I said

no one wants to be a doormat

If someone likes it they're one unique individual

 

[:Elite:]

Just forget about the person this topic is about, that will probably be the best for you...

This, I stated this from the start. I don't understand why some people refuse to see that certain people are just scumbags.

 

[Spear]

People are different, some dont across this behavior often.

 

[:Elite:]

Are you serious?

 

[Spear]

Yes, people often witness someone acting like that and think that hes crazy and it doesnt effect them because they're not close to the person, its different when one of your friends/former friends just starts acting like that..that raises lots of questions and makes you really think about what's up. Not everyone has experience with this sort of thing, you wouldn't just go and call one of your friends/formal friends a scumbag would you?

 

[:Elite:]

It depends on what the person did. Look early on in my life some of my school buddies turned out to be real scumbags, mind you these were people I knew for years, and here's what one of them started doing. He would burrow money, never return it, burrow clothes, never return them. I honestly forgot about some of these things. Then one day I had to help him out on a job and the dude refused to drive me home afterwards (this was like at 2am) because of a stupid reason. Then he basically started this whole beef with some of my other friends and did a whole lot of dumb shit. At that point on I realized that hes just a scumbag, and thats it. I just stopped hanging out with him and chose to basically avoid him at all costs, don't know what became of the guy but I heard he did 2 stints in jail a few years back.

 

[Spear]

But was he always kind of a scumbag, or was there a turning point? Or how did you understand it.

 

[:Elite:]

I think he was always like that. but I never really noticed it, then it got worse. Or maybe something caused it to get worse, but no one ever did anything to him, he would just screw others over, and always have an excuse handy or straight up tell his version of the events to make it look like he was right.

 

[Spear]

Interesting. So you ever thought there was an underlying psychological problem behind it?

 

[:Elite:]

No, let me explain.

You see crazies on the street, they do retarded things. Now there were some people who were pretty delusional. I remember one person in particular, he would go in front of people and claim to be a character from mortal combat. And he would actually attempt to fight people in some instances, now it got weird cause he ended up punching some cop and getting arrested for it but what I learned is that if someone's crazy, their insanity has full control of them, they will do whatever it dictates whether or not there are consequences to it or not. Like this guy, he punched regular people, then he punched a cop, now no normal person would do that but someone who is insane will. The person I was talking about before this would not do that type of thing, he would only screw other people over, he knew the consequences of his actions and would not do anything too crazy unless he majorly benefited in some way.

 

[Spear]

Psychological problems do not mean full blown delusion, it can be lesser psychological problems.

 

[:Elite:]

Im not gonna make excuses for someone's shitty behavior. To me this person is clearly a scumbag, a snake, who is not only fully aware of his actions-but does them repeatedly and probably enjoys doing them. I think you even wrote that you gotta distance yourself from these kinds of people and that is absolutely correct -all they do is use people and are a burden on their family and friends

 

[Spear]

Yes distance from these people is the best option

 

[:Elite:]

Yes distance from these people is the best option

exactly, if you think you can fix them or improve them you're just a fool who is only deluding yourself

 

[Spear]

Well I cant fully agree with that cause I'm sure health care professionals have rehabilitated individuals, but I'm no professional at this.

 

[:Elite:]

I don't know about that. I think its very close to impossible to change someone's personality, especially so after the person's teen years.

 

[Spear]

Close to impossible is not impossible

Some people do change, I'm not saying this happens a lot or often

 

[:Elite:]

youre counting miracles??

 

[Spear]

All I'm saying now is it's not impossible

 

[:Elite:]

I think some science journal did a statistic on personality change, if my memory serves me right it occurred in about 7% of the cases they studied. 7% is like 1 in every 14

 

[Spear]

I think some science journal did a statistic on personality change, if my memory serves me right it occurred in about 7% of the cases they studied. 7% is like 1 in every 14

You just proved my point

 

[:Elite:]

those are terrible statistics

 

[Spear]

Ye, I agree they're not great, 1 in every 14 instances is not good at all, but it's not a miracle

 

[:Elite:]

only a longshot?

 

[Spear]

My point is it's not a miracle, or some extraordinary event

7% is not great but it's still a possibility

That's it