- Joined
- Apr 15, 2008
- Messages
- 854
I just came up with the Idea for making this thread because, I think, a lot of people want a Grammar check. And It's not neccesary to make each time a new thread for it.
So with this message, I request some people that would form a team and help the people out who need a Grammar check.
I will not be in the team, because... My grammar isn't that good.
Please use the [HIDDEN][/HIDDEN] tags for your story.
The first request.
I've got a story I need to get check'd by someone.
There were rumours about some kind of Golden Kodo. It lives in a dark cave in a place called “Desolace”. Gibb and Grumble have never heard of such animal, a Kodo. So our short but brave friends started their adventure, searching for the Golden Kodo.
In just a few days, Gibb has made something very usefull. A flying machine. He painted some words on it, “The Flying Kodo”. Gibb and Grumble hopped in the Flying Kodo and in a few seconds, they were more than two hundred meters above the ground.
Days, maybe weeks later, Gibb & Grumble arrived at their destination, Desolace. Grumble said: “Hey Gibb, I see a cave over there! Land here please.” And there, Gibb landed the Flying Machine on the ground and took their equipments. They entered the cave. It was dark, cold and creepy. Deeper and deeper, they found a lake. They decided to rest there for a while.
A few hours later… something was nearing them… coming closer and closer. Our adventurers woke up. You could feel the ground shaking. But they couldn’t see what was coming to them. You can’t defend yourself against something you can’t see. They could only wait. Suddenly, they heard a voice. But not just someone’s voice, they knew that voice. “Hey, is that you Gibb? and Grumble?” They answered: “Yeah but… Who are you?”
Somebody turned on a very bright lamp. A huge animal was just standing in the front of Gibb. But somehow, it didn’t attacked him. And where did those lamps came from? Another small creature was walking towards Gibb and Grumble. “Wait, no it can’t be.” said Gibb “Fiz? Old fizzy?” And yes, it was Fiz. Fiz is an old adventurer but also a good friend of Gibb and Grumble. Gibb: “Fiz, what are you doing here?” Grumble looked at the animal and noticed it wasn’t something organic, it was a machine. Fiz: “Oh it’s good to see someone here.”
Fiz explained why he never came back to the city and why he wanted to stay here. Gibb asked Fiz about the Golden Kodo. Fiz: “Hahaha, oh you silly man.” Gibb: “What, why?” Fiz pointed to the mechanical animal. Gibb: “Oh, now I get it. So that’s a kodo!” Fiz: ”Not a real one, just a machine.” After two days of living in the cave, Gibb and Grumble missed their home. They told Fiz goodbye and asked him if he wanted to go back to the city. Fiz smiled and shacked his head. Gibb and Grumble hopped in the Flying machine and started their way, back to their own city.
Thanks!
So with this message, I request some people that would form a team and help the people out who need a Grammar check.
I will not be in the team, because... My grammar isn't that good.
The TeamWho's in the Team?:
- Nobody, yet...
The first request.
I've got a story I need to get check'd by someone.
The Golden Kodo
Gibb, a small Gnome, and Grumble, a strong Dwarf, are two brave adventurers. Always seeking for treasures or action.There were rumours about some kind of Golden Kodo. It lives in a dark cave in a place called “Desolace”. Gibb and Grumble have never heard of such animal, a Kodo. So our short but brave friends started their adventure, searching for the Golden Kodo.
In just a few days, Gibb has made something very usefull. A flying machine. He painted some words on it, “The Flying Kodo”. Gibb and Grumble hopped in the Flying Kodo and in a few seconds, they were more than two hundred meters above the ground.
Days, maybe weeks later, Gibb & Grumble arrived at their destination, Desolace. Grumble said: “Hey Gibb, I see a cave over there! Land here please.” And there, Gibb landed the Flying Machine on the ground and took their equipments. They entered the cave. It was dark, cold and creepy. Deeper and deeper, they found a lake. They decided to rest there for a while.
A few hours later… something was nearing them… coming closer and closer. Our adventurers woke up. You could feel the ground shaking. But they couldn’t see what was coming to them. You can’t defend yourself against something you can’t see. They could only wait. Suddenly, they heard a voice. But not just someone’s voice, they knew that voice. “Hey, is that you Gibb? and Grumble?” They answered: “Yeah but… Who are you?”
Somebody turned on a very bright lamp. A huge animal was just standing in the front of Gibb. But somehow, it didn’t attacked him. And where did those lamps came from? Another small creature was walking towards Gibb and Grumble. “Wait, no it can’t be.” said Gibb “Fiz? Old fizzy?” And yes, it was Fiz. Fiz is an old adventurer but also a good friend of Gibb and Grumble. Gibb: “Fiz, what are you doing here?” Grumble looked at the animal and noticed it wasn’t something organic, it was a machine. Fiz: “Oh it’s good to see someone here.”
Fiz explained why he never came back to the city and why he wanted to stay here. Gibb asked Fiz about the Golden Kodo. Fiz: “Hahaha, oh you silly man.” Gibb: “What, why?” Fiz pointed to the mechanical animal. Gibb: “Oh, now I get it. So that’s a kodo!” Fiz: ”Not a real one, just a machine.” After two days of living in the cave, Gibb and Grumble missed their home. They told Fiz goodbye and asked him if he wanted to go back to the city. Fiz smiled and shacked his head. Gibb and Grumble hopped in the Flying machine and started their way, back to their own city.
Thanks!
