- Joined
- Oct 12, 2007
- Messages
- 148
This is my 1st time posting so criticize it as much as you can (so i can improve, on both my writing skill and ... uhm ... my writing skills)
The Flesh Book
Act I Signet of Suffering
Chapter I
On July 7th 2017, a grey and old chevette butting its way on the Lincoln Highway towards New York City.
“Well here we are. New York.” Said Ralf, somewhat satisfied.
“So let me get this straight, you’re going to the city hall to do what?” questioned Vickie, his girlfriend.
“To do a thorough inspection, and that’s the fourth time you asked.”
“Right.”
“While I’m at the city hall, you can ... oh god don’t tell me that’s what I think it is.”
“Mmhmm, my ... I mean our gun.”
“I’m going to a city hall, not going into a war zone. Why the hell do I want a gun for?”
“Just take it, you’ll never know.”
Ralf reluctantly took the pistol. A few minutes later, the grey chevette parked one block away from the city hall.
“Alright, I guess I’ll leave the car to you. I’ll meet you here at eight tonight.”
“Okay.”
The City hall looks pretty typical both inside and out. As Ralf entered the building, He noticed several men in long robe wondering about. This doesn’t bother Ralf though; as this day and age, weirdoes tend to be caught up in politics.
“Can I help you?” Asked by one of the robed man.
“I’m here to inspect the building, issued by the state Governor. Since reports from anonymous claimed that mysterious motives has been sighted here. And to be honest, I don’t blame them one bit, I’m mean there are so many creepy guys ... oh I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”
“That’s alright. But today is not really convenient for inspection. Since the building is under some maintenance.”
“But today is the only day I have time for. I have to inspect the building.”
A brief moment of silence from the robed man as he stares at Ralf.
“Very well, I guess I can give you a tour. Come this way, we’ll start from the top.”
As they walk towards the elevator, located at a rather isolated corner of the building, Ralf asked about the cultist looking people, the robed man smiled and said “You know, there are good people and there are not so good people. The good ones try to persuade the bad ones to follow their way. But the truth is there is no good or evil, all there is ... oh here comes the elevator.”
As the elevator door opens, Ralf was surprised and said “Hey where is the lift? There nothing but ...”
Before he could finish, he felt a force pushing him into the darkness that’s in front of him. As he fell, the darkness consumed the last of his breath.
The Flesh Book
Act I Signet of Suffering
Chapter I
On July 7th 2017, a grey and old chevette butting its way on the Lincoln Highway towards New York City.
“Well here we are. New York.” Said Ralf, somewhat satisfied.
“So let me get this straight, you’re going to the city hall to do what?” questioned Vickie, his girlfriend.
“To do a thorough inspection, and that’s the fourth time you asked.”
“Right.”
“While I’m at the city hall, you can ... oh god don’t tell me that’s what I think it is.”
“Mmhmm, my ... I mean our gun.”
“I’m going to a city hall, not going into a war zone. Why the hell do I want a gun for?”
“Just take it, you’ll never know.”
Ralf reluctantly took the pistol. A few minutes later, the grey chevette parked one block away from the city hall.
“Alright, I guess I’ll leave the car to you. I’ll meet you here at eight tonight.”
“Okay.”
The City hall looks pretty typical both inside and out. As Ralf entered the building, He noticed several men in long robe wondering about. This doesn’t bother Ralf though; as this day and age, weirdoes tend to be caught up in politics.
“Can I help you?” Asked by one of the robed man.
“I’m here to inspect the building, issued by the state Governor. Since reports from anonymous claimed that mysterious motives has been sighted here. And to be honest, I don’t blame them one bit, I’m mean there are so many creepy guys ... oh I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”
“That’s alright. But today is not really convenient for inspection. Since the building is under some maintenance.”
“But today is the only day I have time for. I have to inspect the building.”
A brief moment of silence from the robed man as he stares at Ralf.
“Very well, I guess I can give you a tour. Come this way, we’ll start from the top.”
As they walk towards the elevator, located at a rather isolated corner of the building, Ralf asked about the cultist looking people, the robed man smiled and said “You know, there are good people and there are not so good people. The good ones try to persuade the bad ones to follow their way. But the truth is there is no good or evil, all there is ... oh here comes the elevator.”
As the elevator door opens, Ralf was surprised and said “Hey where is the lift? There nothing but ...”
Before he could finish, he felt a force pushing him into the darkness that’s in front of him. As he fell, the darkness consumed the last of his breath.
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