Magic (Demo)

[Moderator]

15:44, 1st Jan 2009
Rui: Reports of bad quality. Two 1/5 ratings appear to confirm that. [highlight]Rejected[/code].

 

[lief1]

I did not like it.
-you called it "magic" and i saw almost no magic in it
-In the cinematic were the ships crashes Margret says "...Who i am I?" then in the she suddenly knows here name when that persona asks her
-Tool tips need fixing
-The game says shes a Margret named Kira Star sum thing (forget the exact name)
-Her hero icon sucks
-She recovers from amnesia in 10 minutes, while it is possible in life it don't make good plot
-In cinematic many times some sentences flashed by to fast to read
-creeps way to easy to kill
-Cinematic takes up entire map and is only a few minutes long
-So much empty space
-Main hero starts with nothing, while secondary hero has 2 ok items

 

[leet.firefox]

What is this? A demo is supposed to make people excited about your game, not bored and confused. This needs some major work. First cinematic is waaaaay too long, second is too short, game play is boring and empty, bonus cinematic was lame.

 

[knight26]

leet.firefox and lief1 i recommend you to make your own maps before u judge so harshly trust me its for the best of you...
on-topic: Ill dl and comment latter.!

 

[greasontim]

anything bad about the cinamatics?

 

[TheBlooddancer]

Well, credit the creators of the Custom Models, please.

 

[greasontim]

i think he does in (chapter one during the cut scene)

 

[TheBlooddancer]

O-well, he should @Hive too.

 

[tyeeeee1]

I did not like it.
-you called it "magic" and i saw almost no magic in it
-In the cinematic were the ships crashes Margret says "...Who i am I?" then in the she suddenly knows here name when that persona asks her
-Tool tips need fixing
-The game says shes a Margret named Kira Star sum thing (forget the exact name)
-Her hero icon sucks
-She recovers from amnesia in 10 minutes, while it is possible in life it don't make good plot
-In cinematic many times some sentences flashed by to fast to read
-creeps way to easy to kill
-Cinematic takes up entire map and is only a few minutes long
-So much empty space
-Main hero starts with nothing, while secondary hero has 2 ok items

-First name i came up with, might keep it the same maby not (Youil see =) )
-Ok you got a point there, dont worry il fix it within the week.
-*****FIXED******
-Its a few hours later (I belive i said that somewhere)
-Hmm... il ask greasontim to check that out.
-Yeah i didnt want it to be to challenging, or to easy. Its possible to die if you accadentally pull alot of mobs or dont use the spells to their full ability (It will be harder in full release.)
-If u watch all of the cinamatics its 10-15 min (I reccomend watching them ALL)
-Yeah sux that map will only load if at 4 mb i was planning to put part 5 and 4 together, but it would have gon up to 40 mb
-Whell... she was in a shipwreck, kinda hard not to losse things after that (Dont worry im gicing her a starting item soon!)

 

[Septimus]

leet.firefox and lief1 i recommend you to make your own maps before u judge so harshly trust me its for the best of you...
on-topic: Ill dl and comment latter.!

It isn't necessary to learn how to mapping before judging a person map. That is what I called critique. As long as their critique have valid point and not too hostile, it is fine.

Hmm, I would download and try to have a look.

 

[lief1]

i have made maps before, i just have not posted them on this site

 

[tyeeeee1]

Il be sending greasontim the unprotected maps so he/she can check and makesure i did all the cinamatics right, (Im pritty sure there all working, not sure about opening cinamatic tho), whell any way, from the critique up there i might change the story so the amnesia includes her name, or. i may add an item (a locket or something) that she starts out with saying her name on it.

hmm... might as well throw this in, i was thinking at school (yes its extremly boring damn math ruining my day) for the 5-7th levels il probly put another cinamatic including something to do with the mage, a big fortress, burning towns some new characters, and **** ****** ********* ******** ****** *******!

 

[TheBlooddancer]

Why sending to greasontim, and not the map-mod, Septimus? >.<

 

[knight26]

It isn't necessary to learn how to mapping before judging a person map. That is what I called critique. As long as their critique have valid point and not too hostile, it is fine.

Hmm, I would download and try to have a look.

Septimus yes but a critique need to be with a strong point so if someone makes this thing like i did u can defend yourself! And it is NECESSARY to learn mapping to judge a map so u know the basics and the difference between good/bad map.! i mean read & think of the posts above me.

 

[onyxja]

I don't like that you take up a 30% of map with things.And you could set the first and the second and the third together.

And whats whith the magick you could do a campaign but no custom magick thats just dumb.And your city/village terrain is the worst i seen on a long time.

 

[tyeeeee1]

Yeah its not supposto be a city/ village, its a port for ships, see the big battle ships and outher ones in the harbour?, and i sent it to greasontim because he/she fixed the cinamatics 4 me.

On a side note, why do cinamatic levels not laod when there above 4mb?
(if its a higher cap plz tell me i had to get rid of haf map 3 because of size)

 

[leet.firefox]

knight26, First of all I have made maps before. Second, I was merely stating my opinion, I was not being harsh I was being truthful. I do not believe in babying people, for if they settle for mediocre then they will never reach their full potential. Spare the rod, spoil the designer.

 

[tyeeeee1]

Whell if 1/10,000 people like my campaign il still be happy that someone found it good.

 

[leet.firefox]

I'm not saying I didn't like it. I am just saying it can use some improvement. It's a good start and a good idea, and I am eager to see where it goes.

 

[tyeeeee1]

=) whell i plan on making the next 3 missions even better =)

 

[leet.firefox]

And I plan on looking forward to them!, XD

 

[Septimus]

Here is my opinion after playing it.

The cinematic at Chapter 1 was absolutely awful. All it did was show a boat crossing the river at absolutely slow pace and a character that says "Thank you to xxx author for bla bla bla" and it repeat what it said for the second time.

The shore of the terrain at Chapter 1 have a nothing impress at, it look quite bad and need tremendous improvement.

As for Chapter 2, the cinematic does not even last for 15 seconds. The terrain for this chapter is quite abnormal as well.

I mean, how the hell the ship sailed from ? The beginning of the background was all waterfall from every direction. The main question is ? From which direction the ship was sailed at from the point being ? It seems like the ship have fall off from the waterfall and survive the impact and yet it cannot survive the crash from the rock. lol....

And where did the water from the waterfall came from ? When the background of the mainflow is nothing, but a cliff.

Chapter 3 certainly have a contradiction in the storyline. Madlex called Margret to go to the river to find out who she is. But the question lies here, if Margret cannot recall who she is. How the hell could she remember her name ?

Skill have a nothing to be impress at since it was ordinary warcraft 3 skill, but you did not fix the hotkey for those skill. The hotkey for Bash skill clash with Bladestorm skill.

The Margret icon certainly need to be fix as well, you have forgot to import the dis_btn icon for it or using the wrong path.

Terrain at chapter 3 have an nothing to said either, it was as bad as the rest of the chapter. I mean, come on... How the hell the entire terrain look like a maze ? The scenario supposes take place in real world and the geography should look like a real world and not a maze.

There is an abnormal part in this terrain as well, out of the wilderness area. Just take a look at how you place the bridge.

When the cinematic of the captain speaking to his footman begin. I was wondering what are you doings with the camera when it move to a scenario that have the nothing to do with it. The stories have another contradiction when the knight has been slain. I mean, how the hell can she know Margret was a princess just by slaying the knight ? And the dialog conversation at this cinematic goes soo fast that it was nearly impossible to be read.

Bonus cinematic need improvement as well. The colour of the footman helmet and armor during the cinematic stay at red colour while the footman who was doing the talk was wearing a blue helmet and armor. It seems like you are using the same footman to do all the talk.

You certainly need to fix those typo error in your campaign, there is too many typo errors which are rather obvious. You seem to mistype "cinematic" as "cinamatics".

This campaign quality was way too low to be accepted even for hiveworkshop standard.

1/5 from me.

 

[tyeeeee1]

Here is my opinion after playing it.

The cinematic at Chapter 1 was absolutely awful. All it did was show a boat crossing the river at absolutely slow pace and a character that says "Thank you to xxx author for bla bla bla" and it repeat what it said for the second time.

The shore of the terrain at Chapter 1 have a nothing impress at, it look quite bad and need tremendous improvement.

As for Chapter 2, the cinematic does not even last for 15 seconds. The terrain for this chapter is quite abnormal as well.

I mean, how the hell the ship sailed from ? The beginning of the background was all waterfall from every direction. The main question is ? From which direction the ship was sailed at from the point being ? It seems like the ship have fall off from the waterfall and survive the impact and yet it cannot survive the crash from the rock. lol....

And where did the water from the waterfall came from ? When the background of the mainflow is nothing, but a cliff.

Chapter 3 certainly have a contradiction in the storyline. Madlex called Margret to go to the river to find out who she is. But the question lies here, if Margret cannot recall who she is. How the hell could she remember her name ?

Skill have a nothing to be impress at since it was ordinary warcraft 3 skill, but you did not fix the hotkey for those skill. The hotkey for Bash skill clash with Bladestorm skill.

The Margret icon certainly need to be fix as well, you have forgot to import the dis_btn icon for it or using the wrong path.

Terrain at chapter 3 have an nothing to said either, it was as bad as the rest of the chapter. I mean, come on... How the hell the entire terrain look like a maze ? The scenario supposes take place in real world and the geography should look like a real world and not a maze.

There is an abnormal part in this terrain as well, out of the wilderness area. Just take a look at how you place the bridge.

When the cinematic of the captain speaking to his footman begin. I was wondering what are you doings with the camera when it move to a scenario that have the nothing to do with it. The stories have another contradiction when the knight has been slain. I mean, how the hell can she know Margret was a princess just by slaying the knight ? And the dialog conversation at this cinematic goes soo fast that it was nearly impossible to be read.

Bonus cinematic need improvement as well. The colour of the footman helmet and armor during the cinematic stay at red colour while the footman who was doing the talk was wearing a blue helmet and armor. It seems like you are using the same footman to do all the talk.

You certainly need to fix those typo error in your campaign, there is too many typo errors which are rather obvious. You seem to mistype "cinematic" as "cinamatics".

This campaign quality was way too low to be accepted even for hiveworkshop standard.

1/5 from me.

1. See the tiara on the ground after the bandit lord dies? thats how she knows.
2. Didnt notice the footman was red and not blue in the bonus.
3. If you go to a certian place nere the bridge it starts up a 2-4 sec long cinamatic explaining that.
4.Most of the text in cinamatics i can read fast, so thats why i have them on "wait 4.00 sec".
5.Ok... il make it more of a river, il just take out the big waterfall you cant see.
6. English class can gth wayyyyyyy to boring. (I only noticed 2 typing errors)
7. Spells have hotkeys? Like sho actually uses those...

Chapter 3 certainly have a contradiction in the storyline. Madlex called Margret to go to the river to find out who she is. But the question lies here, if Margret cannot recall who she is. How the hell could she remember her name ?

Already awnserd in post on page 1, and the cinamatics are being fixed by greason tim so il have it reuploaded in a few days.

 

[greasontim]

Why sending to greasontim, and not the map-mod, Septimus? >.<

y me cuz im makeing that the cinamatic scenes dont have a static camera and that to get them to look a little better
the whole boat crash was made right cuz i fixed it

 

[OutsiderXE]

Septimus yes but a critique need to be with a strong point so if someone makes this thing like i did u can defend yourself! And it is NECESSARY to learn mapping to judge a map so u know the basics and the difference between good/bad map.! i mean read & think of the posts above me.

The only thing you really need are the basics of WC3 and a general motivation to play games. Probably also experience with other WC3 maps, but more from a gamer's perspective. Knowledge about mapping is only vital in my opinion if you want to give ideas on how to improve a map, but then again mapping is a very practical, playing something and knowing whether or not you have fun with it is important.

As a non-mapper I could say "Oh, this is fun that I get to play with so many different and varied items, I only wish they were better balanced..."
As a mapper I could say ""You ought to tweak the non-visible parts of the map so it lags less"

Probably not so good examples but I think both critics are worth learning from.

 

[Septimus]

1. See the tiara on the ground after the bandit lord dies? thats how she knows.
2. Didnt notice the footman was red and not blue in the bonus.
3. If you go to a certian place nere the bridge it starts up a 2-4 sec long cinamatic explaining that.
4.Most of the text in cinamatics i can read fast, so thats why i have them on "wait 4.00 sec".
5.Ok... il make it more of a river, il just take out the big waterfall you cant see.
6. English class can gth wayyyyyyy to boring. (I only noticed 2 typing errors)
7. Spells have hotkeys? Like sho actually uses those...

1) There is still a main question, even with the tiara on hold by the bandit. There is no valid evidence indicate the tiara belong to her. It could belong to anybody else as well, this is where the contradiction happen. She could be a maid in the ship or possibly a slave.
4) Able to read the message at quick pace doesn't mean the other could, especially when the text message is in 1 long paragraph.
5) Is not about waterfall, is about the contradiction that occur in the terrain. For example, would you seen a pine tree at desert ?
6) There is more than 2 typo error in your campaign. Use language website to check it out or via dictionary.
7) Hotkey should never clash even if the skill unavailable for the moment. Such a error is simply unprofessional and would just give the player a hard to enjoy the game.

Apart from that, you should have use game cache for a campaign.

 

[tyeeeee1]

1) There is still a main question, even with the tiara on hold by the bandit. There is no valid evidence indicate the tiara belong to her. It could belong to anybody else as well, this is where the contradiction happen. She could be a maid in the ship or possibly a slave.
4) Able to read the message at quick pace doesn't mean the other could, especially when the text message is in 1 long paragraph.
5) Is not about waterfall, is about the contradiction that occur in the terrain. For example, would you seen a pine tree at desert ?
6) There is more than 2 typo error in your campaign. Use language website to check it out or via dictionary.
7) Hotkey should never clash even if the skill unavailable for the moment. Such a error is simply unprofessional and would just give the player a hard to enjoy the game.

Apart from that, you should have use game cache for a campaign.

1. Ok you make a good argument about that, Do you think it would work if i put another item like "Documents" sayign that shese the princess?
4. Ok il add another 2-3 sec to each text thing so its easyer to read.
5. Um... I dont relly get how it applys to the terrain around the water fall. Do you mean like that i put trees that look like pine trees on a rocky area?
6. I will get my friend to help me fix the typo errors, Its alot easyer speaking then typing/writing =) .
7. Whell i personally never use hotkeys because theres to many for me to rember. But i guess if the majority uses them il hafto fix them.


Note- In a few days il re-do most of the terrain, fix up the weird parts in the story and make the monsters harder.


Thx for all the critisim least i know what to do when im making the next 4 parts of the campaign.

 

[Septimus]

You have to pour 1000% effort into it, right now the quality is extremely bad.
Given the scale 1 out of 10. I would said -20 out 10.

1. Ok you make a good argument about that, Do you think it would work if i put another item like "Documents" sayign that shese the princess?

The document should not just written "Margret is princess" as it would just create another contradiction, I mean "Who the hell would be idiot enough to wrote a simple document with just a mere sentence like this ? A document should have important detail". The document need to have the reason of why the princess was on the ship, where she was going and what is the main reason of her sailing to some foreign place.

A official document indicate she was a princess, or shall I said a edict should contain all this necessary information.

5. Um... I dont relly get how it applys to the terrain around the water fall. Do you mean like that i put trees that look like pine trees on a rocky area?

You could look into tutorial on how to apply for river scenery, we have several tutorial about it at forum or you could ask somebody opinion at terrain board.

Apart from that, you need to get rid of the waterfall behind the ship (Circle in red) due to contradiction at geography.

The ship was obviously sailing to south, if it was sailing to south. It surely came from the north, but from the screenshot at below. It seems like the ship was surrounded by waterfall from every direction, so how the hell could it possibly came from north when there is no way for it to by pass the waterfall ?

Whell i personally never use hotkeys because theres to many for me to rember. But i guess if the majority uses them il hafto fix them.

Hotkey clash or malfunction could be avoided if you have them listed.

I suggest you to rework everything inside the campaign.

 

[tyeeeee1]

Ok thx septimus for all the advice, I think I know what your talking about with the terrain and stuff, il try to fix everything up so it looks 100% better.

Edit- There... i fixed storyline so it makes sense and stuff fixed alot of stuff... Better get me from an Extremly bad rating to a Verry bad rating, Thatill be an improvement LOL!

EDIT:
So can i get anymore comments questions or suggestions, for the updated vers?

 

[leet.firefox]

1st cinematic is still too boring. You should tell more about the game, few more typos. 2nd- Skipped captains first line, she just kind of appears on shore. she should be lying down with debris around. Icon still awful. add more camera movement, still bland terrain and abilities, apprentice typo, pause units during a cutscene, dont let creeps sleep, lame document text, add more detail.

 

[tyeeeee1]

1st cinematic is still too boring. You should tell more about the game, few more typos. 2nd- Skipped captains first line, she just kind of appears on shore. she should be lying down with debris around. Icon still awful. add more camera movement, still bland terrain and abilities, apprentice typo, pause units during a cutscene, dont let creeps sleep, lame document text, add more detail.

No idea how to make her lie down.
Il think about camera movement maby...
You can pause units?

 

[Intact01]

Uhh The Game Is Ok The World Is Ok.... I rate this a 2/5.... it chould be worked on

 

[leet.firefox]

Animation - Play Unit's death animation, plays her death animation, making her look like she is lying down. Then just play her stand animation. Unit - Pause/Unpause All Units for cinematics. I ran past people talking to me, lol.

 

[Intact01]

rawr

 

[Slasher]

Okey I tested it. Here's my advice...

1. First chapter could be much shorter. Now it just says same things many times and it's boring to watch

2. Make better terrain and add more doodads, not only trees.

3. I found many spelling errors. Fix them.

4. Fix tooltips.

5. Camera movement could be better in cinematics. Also some cinematics are going to fast.

6. At first chapter it says that there are lot of cinematics but there isn't very much. Also cinematics were very short and bad made.

 

[tyeeeee1]

Okey I tested it. Here's my advice...

1. First chapter could be much shorter. Now it just says same things many times and it's boring to watch

2. Make better terrain and add more doodads, not only trees.

3. I found many spelling errors. Fix them.

4. Fix tooltips.

5. Camera movement could be better in cinematics. Also some cinematics are going to fast.

6. At first chapter it says that there are lot of cinematics but there isn't very much. Also cinematics were very short and bad made.

1. dont watch it then.
2.Eh when i get time i will.
3.Where?
4.???
5.I barly even know how to make a cinamatic let alone move around everything whell i make it.
6.Bad made w/e, short is better then long 10 min cinamatics, seems like alot to me.

 

[Slasher]

1. dont watch it then.
2.Eh when i get time i will.
3.Where?
4.???
5.I barly even know how to make a cinamatic let alone move around everything whell i make it.
6.Bad made w/e, short is better then long 10 min cinamatics, seems like alot to me.

3.I found "well" was wrote as "whell" and "I'll" as "il" there were other mistakes too but I don't remember them anymore.
4.For exampel Fan of Knives tooltip says "Warden hurls a flurry knives...."

 

[sagi5533]

Why demo?.... 1/5

 

[tyeeeee1]

sagi, you just copyed septimus >.>, and its a demo because im not finished it yet DUH

 

[Septimus]

Chapter 1 should be rename to credit if all it does was just showing a credit list.

And if it was a introduction cinematic, it should be written as prologue and not chapter. Chapter is for playable map.

 

[tyeeeee1]

did not know that il change when iget time.

 

[TISZTELETES]

Wow this is my first comment outside my borders! Awesome. I don't really know why did I download this campaign. I mean why this one??...

For a starter (starter?) it isn't bad at all. It looks like my first campaign. Well perhaps mine is a little more advanced (Sunwood Legend series <--- Never uploaded here ;( ). The main problems with this map are:

- We can say there are no custom units.
- No custom abilities.
- No custom items.
- No custom nothing.
- The terrain is filled with ugly 'bugs'.
- You are advertising yourself too many times during the first cinematic.
- The in-game 'teleports' are totally unnecessary.
- The cinematics are boring. You should tell something bout the story instead of repeating contact infos.

What I suggest: read more tutorials about terraining; making abilities and units.

Good Luck!

 

[tyeeeee1]

Wow this is my first comment outside my borders! Awesome. I don't really know why did I download this campaign. I mean why this one??...

For a starter (starter?) it isn't bad at all. It looks like my first campaign. Well perhaps mine is a little more advanced (Sunwood Legend series <--- Never uploaded here ;( ). The main problems with this map are:

- We can say there are no custom units.
- No custom abilities.
- No custom items.
- No custom nothing.
- The terrain is filled with ugly 'bugs'.
- You are advertising yourself too many times during the first cinematic.
- The in-game 'teleports' are totally unnecessary.
- The cinematics are boring. You should tell something bout the story instead of repeating contact infos.

What I suggest: read more tutorials about terraining; making abilities and units.

Good Luck!

-Yes there are custom units
-Nope didnt need to make abilitys
-Yes theres some custom items
-bugs?
-Hmmm weird I watched the first cinamatic didnt see my name much
-How else would I make the inside of the house?
-It kinda does tell the story all in part 3 The River