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looking for some help with adding on to my story line for my cinematic series to come

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i did make a thread for in the cinematic forums but i found those forums very un active so im makin a new one here

Revenge of The Blademaster

My Basic Story Line
The story is about a young blademaster's father is killed by the human king and he is after Revenge for his fathers death. no one knows who his mother is. The humans invaded the orc town/city (whatever you want to call it) and the human king himself killed the blademasters father. Know the blademaster's son is at a small vilage and gets trained by the same person who trained his father. after he is trained he goes on his way to try and kill the king but he has to do alot of stuff before he can invade the human castle(im not sure what thats what i need some help on). the Blademaster's son will do any thing and evry thing he can to get his fathers revenge on the human king.


Im after some help with
-making the story line better and more interesting
-filling in the parts for where the blademaster's son invades the human castle
-i also want a traitor in the story but i dont know how to bring him/her into the story
-the young blade master has to kill a dragon gaurding somthing to help him kill the human king i have no idea what i can use
- also any more sugestions on how to make parts of the storyline to link together some how
-any other suggestions to add


need any more info please ask
i have a trailer for my upcomeing cinematics ill up load it here when it is finished it just needs some touch ups/ polishing
i have also started on the first basic part of the story were the humans attack the orc city/town/or whatever and the blademaster is killed and his son escapes with a shaman

EDIT:i have added the Trailer now
 

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  • Revenge of the blademaster - trailer 1.w3x
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Level 16
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he tries to invade the castle himself and fails, he was then thrown to jail to rot. a mysterious guy helps him escape and told him that to beat the king he needed the sword of (u name it) which can be found at the deepest of caves guarded by a dragon. He then defeats the dragon and takes the sword, when he got out of the cave he saw the man that helped him was waiting for him then there was a flash of light which made the blademaster unconscious(the man was a traitor). after waking up he noticed his wounds was healed and saw a woman(which is his mother) then fell asleep. He woke up wondering who was she.
thats as far as i can think of right know sooooooo gud luk with the rest although i think this is suckish.
 
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he tries to invade the castle himself and fails, he was then thrown to jail to rot. a mysterious guy helps him escape and told him that to beat the king he needed the sword of (u name it) which can be found at the deepest of caves guarded by a dragon. He then defeats the dragon and takes the sword, when he got out of the cave he saw the man that helped him was waiting for him then there was a flash of light which made the blademaster unconscious(the man was a traitor). after waking up he noticed his wounds was healed and saw a woman(which is his mother) then fell asleep. He woke up wondering who was she.
thats as far as i can think of right know sooooooo gud luk with the rest although i think this is suckish.

thanks for the idea hopfully i get more replys
 
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Please fix the title so it says something meaningful and change the color of the text to red instead of blue, its very hard to read atm
 
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Or instead of a special sword, he is told by the mysterious man that he needs the blood of a dragon to defeat the king. But once he drinks the blood, a dormant demonic presence takes hold over his body (turning him into a red Blademaster of Blackrock Clan model). It turns out the old man tricked him into giving in to his demon side. The blademaster now has new powerful, demonic abilities at the cost of having to fight his inner demon.

And if you really wanted to spice things up, other demons could try to recruit the blademaster once he has unleashed his demon side. If he declines, the demon generals could send hoardes of demons after him.
 
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Or instead of a special sword, he is told by the mysterious man that he needs the blood of a dragon to defeat the king. But once he drinks the blood, a dormant demonic presence takes hold over his body (turning him into a red Blademaster of Blackrock Clan model). It turns out the old man tricked him into giving in to his demon side. The blademaster now has new powerful, demonic abilities at the cost of having to fight his inner demon.

And if you really wanted to spice things up, other demons could try to recruit the blademaster once he has unleashed his demon side. If he declines, the demon generals could send hoardes of demons after him.

i like the whole changing the blademaster to the other red one but youv just gorn on from scarlet what said
 
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like coffeholic's idea its even better than mine by a country mile.
oh and how bout adding this to his idea:
after he beats the king the demon general tormented him in his dreams because of disobeying him. After years of suffering he sets of to kill the demon general to stop his nightmare.(<---kinda like the story of god of war1)


gah! i really suck at this
 
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And it could turn out that the demon general was the one that persuaded the king to attack the orc town (where the blademaster's father was slain) in the first place :eek: The king could tell him in his last dying breath after he's finally slain by the blademaster. The demon needed to fuel the blademaster with rage and vengeance in order to bring out his demonic side.

So basically it could be like in Final Fantasy games where the final boss isn't exactly the final boss. There's someone behind the 'final boss' pulling all the strings.
 
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i dont want to bring demons into the story also i dont like the fact that the blademaster goes to try kill the human king so early

p.s also scarlet dont double post (i dont mind but alot of people hate it)

people should check the trailer
 
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i dont want to bring demons into the story also i dont like the fact that the blademaster goes to try kill the human king so early

p.s also scarlet dont double post (i dont mind but alot of people hate it)

people should check the trailer

the trailer really need a lot of work...

i don't need to view the trigger to guess you are using wait action instead of precision timing. :hohum:

1 of the obvious scene that you're using wait action was when the rifleman firing bullet to nikolo and nikolo cast mirror image after the bullet gone through him. :hohum:
 
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the trailer really need a lot of work...

i don't need to view the trigger to guess you are using wait action instead of precision timing. :hohum:

1 of the obvious scene that you're using wait action was when the rifleman firing bullet to nikolo and nikolo cast mirror image after the bullet gone through him. :hohum:

i dont know how to precision timing..
i used waits because it the most simple way using precision timing it would proberly add so much time to me trying to create the cinematic it takes my long enough as it is
p.s why did you say that on here that has nothing to do with the story line but thanks.
 
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You said 'where' instead of were a couple times in the beginning of the cinematic. There were also a lot of grammatical issues (capitalization, punctuation and spelling) during and after the narrator telling of a blademaster that was different from the others. Granis is spelled four different ways throughout the cinematic... Is it supposed to be Granis, Garinis, Garnis or Garanis? The model used for Granis needs a proper portrait. Terrain and effects were decent, although some effects (like when Nikiro goes to slay the last riflemen) are slightly mistimed. Use countdown timers for the precision timing Septimus was talking about. I really like the music and the loading screen.


I see now that Nikoro isn't much of a blademaster when his father first dies. Maybe he has to undergo tasks to prove himself worthy to be a blademaster, and also to improve his combat skills before he goes to hunt down Granis. Some of those tasks could include:

- Catching a wild boar (which could easily add some humor to make it more entertaining) and presenting a tusk to the village 'chief' or the shaman he escapes with

- Obtaining a rare ore that is guarded by harpies to be used to forge a special axe, sword or armor -- probably sword since he uses one when he goes looking for Granis

- Learning the 'blink' technique that his father used (as he seems to use later on the riflemen), and possibly other special abilities that his father knew and using it in training combat against other orc warriors

- Taking out a small human outpost to put his skills to the test, but obviously taking place not long before he goes to find Granis so that his skills are almost mastered
 
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You said 'where' instead of were a couple times in the beginning of the cinematic. There were also a lot of grammatical issues (capitalization, punctuation and spelling) during and after the narrator telling of a blademaster that was different from the others. Granis is spelled four different ways throughout the cinematic... Is it supposed to be Granis, Garinis, Garnis or Garanis? The model used for Granis needs a proper portrait. Terrain and effects were decent, although some effects (like when Nikiro goes to slay the last riflemen) are slightly mistimed. Use countdown timers for the precision timing Septimus was talking about. I really like the music and the loading screen.


I see now that Nikoro isn't much of a blademaster when his father first dies. Maybe he has to undergo tasks to prove himself worthy to be a blademaster, and also to improve his combat skills before he goes to hunt down Granis. Some of those tasks could include:

- Catching a wild boar (which could easily add some humor to make it more entertaining) and presenting a tusk to the village 'chief' or the shaman he escapes with

- Obtaining a rare ore that is guarded by harpies to be used to forge a special axe, sword or armor -- probably sword since he uses one when he goes looking for Granis

- Learning the 'blink' technique that his father used (as he seems to use later on the riflemen), and possibly other special abilities that his father knew and using it in training combat against other orc warriors

- Taking out a small human outpost to put his skills to the test, but obviously taking place not long before he goes to find Granis so that his skills are almost mastered

yes i know my grammar is hopeless with capitals and and so on
i get mixxed up with the were/where there thier and so on i feel so stupid so one thing i could do is get some 1 to help me with the grammar and spelling and stuff like that before each part of these cinematic's

i was going to have a part that is just based on Training the blademaster and testing him out so thanks for those extra ideas for what to add the the trainging and so on for the blademaster

also how do i use countdown timers for the precision timing
 
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For setting timers instead of using 'Wait', set a one-shot countdown timer using 'Countdown Timer - Start Timer' to end in the amount of seconds you want the delay for. Then create a new trigger with the event 'Time - Timer expires'. Then continue your actions from there.

I don't know if you wanted the grammar fixed now, but I fixed most of what I could find:
Grammar Fix
 
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since u don't like the demon part...how bout the undead:)
if u don't like it here's another idea:
the cinematics starts of with him in jail remembering his childhood then his training(coffeeholic's ideas) to his journey to kill the king.
 
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since u don't like the demon part...how bout the undead:)
if u don't like it here's another idea:
the cinematics starts of with him in jail remembering his childhood then his training(coffeeholic's ideas) to his journey to kill the king.

i dont want any other race then human and orc (mayby also night elf mayby if i made his mother a night elf) in the cinematic i dont like that fact that he gets captured
 
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How about Nikoro, thinking the band of humans may be led by Granis (but obviously isn't), goes to aid a Night Elf village when they're under attack. While he's helping them, his mother (who he doesn't know of at all at the time) displays her skills while Nikoro watches in awe. When she's done, he goes to meet her and becomes close to her without ever knowing she's actually his mother. While he's with her, he can learn some of her techniques to aid him in his quest to kill Granis. Maybe he eventually finds out that she's his mother, and she explains the details of what happened between her and Nikoro's father to cause them to part ways.
 
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How about Nikoro, thinking the band of humans may be led by Granis (but obviously isn't), goes to aid a Night Elf village when they're under attack. While he's helping them, his mother (who he doesn't know of at all at the time) displays her skills while Nikoro watches in awe. When she's done, he goes to meet her and becomes close to her without ever knowing she's actually his mother. While he's with her, he can learn some of her techniques to aid him in his quest to kill Granis. Maybe he eventually finds out that she's his mother, and she explains the details of what happened between her and Nikoro's father to cause them to part ways.

this sounds good but mayby the other way around, where nikoro is in trouble and his mother comes and saves him and she knows that he is her son and she explains the details of what happened between her and Nikoro's father to cause them to part ways

to bad its the same people who come up with ideas ;(
 
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while in the night elf village, a fellow night elf didn't trust him,an orc whom he thinks is one of the most treacherous race, so he sends a letter to granis to kill nikoro in return for jewels and gold, after reading this, granis found this as an opportunity to destroy the village, so he sent a messenger to tell him that all he has to do is to make the village lower their guard. After a few days, the night elf sent a letter saying that they will have a party to celebrate the reunion of nikoro and his mother and that only a few men will keep watch, so he sent groups of warriors all around the village.By nightfall the party has started and then they attacked, the night elfs, seeing the attackers ran to get their weapons,houses were burned to the ground,innocent people were killed, while fighting nikoro didn't see the gunner aiming at him,her mother seeing the gunner ran towards his son then pushed him away then got shot, nikoro went by his mother side and uuuuuuummmmm i don't know what happens next.
 
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