Green Eggs and Hamlet

[brad.dude03]

So, I got to read this poem today in English class. Absolutely hilarious for anyone who's read/is reading Hamlet.

If you can't tell, it's making fun of the 'To Be or Not To Be' soliloquy by using the rhyme scheme of 'Green Eggs and Ham', by Dr. Seuss.

It goes as follows:
GREEN EGGS AND HAMLET
I ask to be, or not to be.
That is the question, I ask of me.
This sullied life, it makes me shudder.
My uncle's boffing dear, sweet mother.
Would I, could I, take my life?
Could I, should I, end this strife?
Should I jump out of a plane?
Or throw myself before a train?
Should I from a cliff just leap?
Could I put myself to sleep?
Shoot myself, or take some poison?
Maybe try self immolation?
To shudder of this mortal coil,
I could stab myself with a fencing foil.
Slash my wrists while in the bath?
Would it end my angst and wrath?
To sleep, to dream, now there's the rub.
I could drop a toaster in my tub.
Would all be glad, if I were dead?
Could I perhaps kill them instead?
This line of thought takes consideration-
For I'm the king of procrastination.

Discuss.

 

[GhostG45]

I sensed the lulz of this thread from the depths of the Hive's forums, and came as soon as possible.

 

[Callahan]

Awesome ending.

 

[brad.dude03]

Well, we all know that Hamlet's tragic character flaw is his procrastination. He's a thinker, not a doer.

 

[Teh_Ephy]

Pwnt.

 

[raid1000]

sound very emo-ish

 

[Gilles]

Who wrote this brad?

 

[En_Fuego]

Heh, that was just what I needed on this horrible Thanksgiving morning.

On a less callous note, who wrote it?

 

[Zombie]

I can express all my feelings in a single word: Epic.

 

[brad.dude03]

I have no idea who wrote it, actually. I think it might even have been Dr. Seuss, since Hamlet is so famous and he was a scholar.

If you think it's emo you obviously don't know what Hamlet is about.

 

[PurplePoot]

It's okay, a little too corny at times (the jokes were good, but then got a little drawn out). The ending was definitely the best bit (starting with "now there's the rub") in my opinion.

 

[brad.dude03]

My favourite was the "My Uncle's boffing dear, sweet Mother" line.

 

[SimonKurciski]

If you think it's emo you obviously don't know what Hamlet is about.

I saw a play a few days ago in which the actor that played Hamlet interpreted him as a person with a sort of teen-angstish personality, to the point of cutting himself. It sounds like an awful idea, but it was was well done.

As for Hamlet being a thinker, not a doer, he is no more or less proactive than most people. How quickly could you bring yourself to kill your uncle, in cold blood? After being visited by a supernatural creature in the form of your dead father that most other people can't see, so you're doubting your own sanity, as well.

Hamlet's not the procrastination. Shakespeare had a talent for building amazingly realistic characters, so Hamlet is reacting like a normal person would.

Don't get me wrong, I like the poem. I'm just in the mood for a nice debate.

 

[brad.dude03]

In cold blood? He's avenging his father and stopping the incestual abomination of a relationship that he so despises!

No, Hamlet is a procrastinator through and through.

 

[SimonKurciski]

You're right that he has a sufficient and just cause. However, the fact that his mother is in an incestuous relationship just piles another source of stress onto his back.

And none of this changes the fact that Hamlet, who has spent most of his life at school and was never brought up to be a warrior, is faced with the task of killing someone with his own hands.

Again, how quickly would you be able to kill someone? Really, think about it. Could you erase a human life?

 

[brad.dude03]

I know. But he's still a procrastinator. He kills Polonius without a blink of an eye, killing his hated Uncle should be no harder.

Taking a living beings life is clearly not his reason for procrastination.

 

[SimonKurciski]

I know. But he's still a procrastinator. He kills Polonius without a blink of an eye, killing his hated Uncle should be no harder.

Taking a living beings life is clearly not his reason for procrastination.

When he kills Polonius, he thinks that he is killing Claudius.

Hamlet screws up the courage to kill Claudius, and does it, only to find that he has killed the wrong person. Killing the wrong person in pursuit of revenge is enough to give anyone pause.

 

[Vampiro320]

Where did the green eggs come from? Were they in the toaster when it fell in the tub?

 

[brad.dude03]

Green Eggs and Ham is a story by Dr Seuss. I recommend you read it first before reading this so you get most of the humour.